[Copypasta] What if TF2 injuries were more realistic?

Just imagine: You are playing 2fort as RED team and pick heavy, you get out of spawn when suddenly a Pyro with the Homewrecker hits you square on the head. Your Heavy falls down and makes a weird snoring sound and has a nasty gash in his head with clear fluid running out of his ears. Then for like 30 minutes the screen goes black and you hear Heavy being transported into an ambulance. After the 30 mins Heavy opens his eyes a little. It looks like hes in the ICU and is currently getting artificially ventilated. Then the screen goes black again for 3 days until Heavy opens his eyes a little to see a woman, presumably heavys wife, crying beside his bed. She says something but it seems like Heavy doesnt understand anything she is saying, only thing you clearly make out is "permanent brain damage" and how sorry she is for never talking you out of your Mercenary profession. Then the screen goes black for another 5 months with some short times of conciousness inbetween until you see the same woman with 2 kids talking to your doctor in the ICU. All you can make out is that they decided to end your suffering and pull the plug. The last thing you see is heavys eyes closing, until you suddenly respawn in RED Spawn.
January 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

xqcL

⠀⠀⠀⣠⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣶⣄⣀⣀⣤⣶⣶⣦⣤⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡀⠀⠀⠀ ⢀⣼⣿⡟⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠛⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠟⠛⠳⠂⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⠟⠉⠉⠛⠛⠓⠀⠉⠻⣿⣿⣿⡿⢀⡄⠲⠶⢶⣶⠀ ⣿⣿⣷⣤⣤⣄⣀⣀⡘⠁⠀⣠⣿⣿⣯⡀⢹⡀⢀⣀⣠⡽⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠁⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣍⡉⠉⠉⠉⠙⠛⠛⠾⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀ ⠛⠉⠉⠉⠛⠓⠲⢶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣦⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⡶⠁⠀⠀ ⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣄⡈⠙⢿⠿⠛⠋⠉⠉⠉⠙⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⠀⠀⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣶⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀ ⡿⠿⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀ ⣀⣴⣶⣦⡄⠉⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠉⣉⡉⠙⢻⣿⣿⡟⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⡿⠛⢁⣤⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠈⣿⣿⣧⠀⠙⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀
December 2020
xQcOW

RIP Hugh Hefner emojipasta

Rosa sat🚌 so I could walk🚶🏾 MLK walked🚶🏾🚶🏾 so I could run🏃🏾Obama ran🇺🇸🏃🏾🏃🏾🏃🏾 so I could fly🙏🏽🦅🦅 Hugh👴🏻 died💀☠️ so I could nut😫🐇🍆💦💦 #RIP
January 2024

Emoji Pasta

come on chat. smoke with me

twitchquotes: FeelsOkayMan 🚬 💨 come on chat. smoke with me.
twitch chat
March 2018

Hey Kripp, Dan from HearthArena here

twitchquotes: Hey Kripp, Dan from HearthArena here. Just wanted to let you know we have some updates to our policy for sponsored content. Instead of saying "that guy's deck was crazy", we now suggest our partners use the phrase, "wow, that guy must have used HearthArena™ to get a deck like that!" We're grateful for your continued participation and hope you have a nice day.
twitch chat
September 2018
Kripp

Hearthstone

salty

YOU. ME. GAS STATION.

What are we getting for dinner? Sushi of course. Uh oh, there was a roofie inside of our gas station sushi, we black out and wake up in a sewer. We're surrounded by fish; horny fish. You know what that means. Fish orgy, the stench draws in a bear. What are we gonna do? We're gonna fight it. BEAR FIGHT. BEAR HANDED. BEAR naked? oh yes, please. We befriend the bear after we beat it in a brawl. then we ride into a chuck-e-cheese, dance dance revolution. REVOLUTION? OVERTHROW THE GOVERNMENT? uh, I think so. next thing you know, i'm reincarnated as Jesus Christ. Then i turn into a jet, fly into the sun, black out again, wake up, do a bump, white out which i didn't know you could do, then i smoked a joint. Greened-out, then i turned into the sun. uh oh, looks like the meth is kicking in.
January 2022
Text-to-Speech Playing