[Copypasta] What if TF2 injuries were more realistic?

Just imagine: You are playing 2fort as RED team and pick heavy, you get out of spawn when suddenly a Pyro with the Homewrecker hits you square on the head. Your Heavy falls down and makes a weird snoring sound and has a nasty gash in his head with clear fluid running out of his ears. Then for like 30 minutes the screen goes black and you hear Heavy being transported into an ambulance. After the 30 mins Heavy opens his eyes a little. It looks like hes in the ICU and is currently getting artificially ventilated. Then the screen goes black again for 3 days until Heavy opens his eyes a little to see a woman, presumably heavys wife, crying beside his bed. She says something but it seems like Heavy doesnt understand anything she is saying, only thing you clearly make out is "permanent brain damage" and how sorry she is for never talking you out of your Mercenary profession. Then the screen goes black for another 5 months with some short times of conciousness inbetween until you see the same woman with 2 kids talking to your doctor in the ICU. All you can make out is that they decided to end your suffering and pull the plug. The last thing you see is heavys eyes closing, until you suddenly respawn in RED Spawn.
January 2021
What happened to this ad? :(
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Johnny Test

⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⡀ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⡸⠱⡀ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⣠⣴⠖⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⣠⡆⢀⢀⢠⠃⢀⣧ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⣤⣾⣿⣿⠋⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⣠⠞⢁⡇⢀⢠⠏⢀⢀⢹ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⣠⣶⣿⢿⣿⣿⠃⢀⢀⢀⢀⣠⠞⠁⢀⣼⠁⣠⠏⢀⢀⢀⣿ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⣠⣾⡿⠋⢀⣼⡿⠁⢀⢀⢀⣠⠞⠁⢀⢀⢰⢏⡼⠃⢀⢀⢀⢀⡇ ⢀⢀⣾⢀⢀⢀⣼⡿⠋⢀⢀⢀⣿⠃⣀⣠⣶⠿⠃⢀⢀⢀⢀⡿⠋⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢸⠃⢀⣀⣠⠤⠖⠚⠋⢉⡭⠋ ⢀⣼⣿⢀⣠⣿⠟⠁⢀⢀⢀⠘⠛⠛⠋⠉⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⠮⠒⠋⠁⢀⢀⢀⣠⠔⠁ ⢀⡇⢻⣰⡿⠃⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⣠⠞⠁ ⢸⠃⠈⠟⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⡾⠋ ⢸⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⣴⠋ ⢸⡄⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⡾⠁ ⢀⡇⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⣀⣀⣀⣠⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣄⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⡀⢀⢠⡞ ⢀⢳⢀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⡇⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⣀⣉⡉⢉⡟ ⢀⠘⣄⣀⣀⣤⣤⢀⡇⠰⠶⠶⠶⢶⣶⣶⡶⠶⠶⠶⢀⢀⢀⣼⠿⠟⠛⠿⡿ ⢀⢀⢳⢀⣀⣀⣀⣀⡇⢀⢀⡠⠊⠁⣀⣀⠈⠑⣄⢀⢀⢀⣰⡡⠤⠠⢄⣰⠃ ⢀⢀⠈⢏⣉⣀⣀⣸⡇⢀⠸⢀⢀⣾⣿⣿⣷⢀⠘⡄⢀⢠⠏⢠⣤⣤⢀⠹ ⢀⡰⠊⠉⠑⡄⢀⢸⠇⢀⢃⢀⢀⣿⣿⣿⡟⢀⢀⠃⢀⣾⢀⣿⣿⣿⢀⢀⠇ ⢀⠃⠈⠉⢣⠘⠤⠼⢀⢀⠈⢄⢀⠈⠉⠁⢀⣠⠎⢀⡘⠸⡀⠙⠛⠁⢀⢼⡄ ⢀⡀⢀⠐⠎⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⠁⠐⠒⠒⠈⢀⢀⢀⠧⠤⢬⠒⢀⠂⠁⢀⢳ ⢀⠁⠐⠒⠂⠉⠁⠢⣄⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⠒⠤⢤⣀⣀⣐⣒⣒⣉⡠⠤⠂⢀⡴⠃ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⠈⠙⢲⣤⣀⡀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⠉⠉⠁⢀⣀⣤⠞⠉ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⣦⣬⣇⠈⠉⢿⡒⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠚⠛⠉ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠸⣿⣷⡀ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⣿⣿⣷⠁ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⠚⢻⠛⠻⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣀⣹⣟⣿⡆ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⡘⢀⢀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢻⣿⣿ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⡇⢀⢀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⣴⣶⣶⣦⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⣿⣏⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠷ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⡝⠉⠉⠉⢀⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⣇⢠⢠⢀⣾⣆⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⣿⢸⢸⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⠘⣾⢸⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⠈⣹⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡉⢓⣤⣀⡀ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠤⠤⠤⠽⡿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣾⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣤⡄ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢒⣒⣂⣀⣉⣦⡀⠈⠉⠉⠙⠛⠛⠛⠋⠉⠉⠉⠉⠁⢸⠁ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⡿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⡉⠉⠙⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠓⠒⠒⠒⠊ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⠇⢀⠈⠉⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠉⠁⢀⠠⡇
January 2021

Kripp, eat chicken

twitchquotes: Kripp this is Dr. Zeus Stromboloupolous. We need you to immediately star drinking MILK and EAT chicken at least once every week. Otherwise RIP is veganiro pepperoni
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

Hammer and sickle

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣤⣀⣀⣀⠀⠻⣷⣄ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠹⣿⣦⡀ ⠀⠀⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⣿⣧ ⠀⠀⠙⢿⣿⡿⠋⠻⣿⣿⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⡆ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⣿⣿⣦⡀⠀⢸⣿⣿⡇ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣄⡀⠀⠀⠈⠻⣿⣿⣶⣿⣿⣿⠁ ⠀⠀⠀⣠⣿⣿⢿⣿⣶⣶⣶⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⡁ ⢠⣶⣿⣿⠋⠀⠀⠉⠛⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠛⠻⣿⣿⣦⡀ ⣿⣿⠟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⣿⡿
September 2020

No, you’re NOT a real gamer.

No, you’re NOT a real gamer. I’m so sick of all these people that think they’re gamers. No, you’re not. Most of you are not even close to being gamers. I see these people saying “I put well over 100 hours in this game, it’s great!” that’s nothing, most of us can easily put 300+ hours in all our games. I see people who only have a Nintendo Switch and claim to be gamers. Come talk to me when you pick up a PS4 controller then we be friends. Also DEAR ALL WOMEN: Pokémon is not a real game. Animal Crossing is not a real game. The Sims is not a real game. Mario is not a real game. Stardew valley is not a real game. Mobile games are NOT.REAL.GAMES. put down the baby games and play something that requires challenge and skill for once. Sincerely, all of the ACTUAL gamers.
June 2021

At least you have a life

twitchquotes: (◕‿◕✿) Kripp, you may suck at Hearthstone but at least you have a girlfriend. I bet these people beating you have no life (◕‿◕✿)
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing