[Copypasta] What if TF2 injuries were more realistic?

Just imagine: You are playing 2fort as RED team and pick heavy, you get out of spawn when suddenly a Pyro with the Homewrecker hits you square on the head. Your Heavy falls down and makes a weird snoring sound and has a nasty gash in his head with clear fluid running out of his ears. Then for like 30 minutes the screen goes black and you hear Heavy being transported into an ambulance. After the 30 mins Heavy opens his eyes a little. It looks like hes in the ICU and is currently getting artificially ventilated. Then the screen goes black again for 3 days until Heavy opens his eyes a little to see a woman, presumably heavys wife, crying beside his bed. She says something but it seems like Heavy doesnt understand anything she is saying, only thing you clearly make out is "permanent brain damage" and how sorry she is for never talking you out of your Mercenary profession. Then the screen goes black for another 5 months with some short times of conciousness inbetween until you see the same woman with 2 kids talking to your doctor in the ICU. All you can make out is that they decided to end your suffering and pull the plug. The last thing you see is heavys eyes closing, until you suddenly respawn in RED Spawn.
January 2021
(โ–€ฬฟฤนฬฏโ”œโ”ฌโ”ดโ”ฌโ”ด Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

Lieutenant Clitt Nippley of the Greek Army

twitchquotes: Dear Kripp, this is lieutenant Clitt Nippley of the Greek Army. It has come to our attention that you've been 'BroFisting' many of our citizens against their will. If you continue this, I have full authority to launch a nuclear attack against you and your evil 5 dollar club. You've been warned.
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

The phrase โ€œitโ€™s just a gameโ€ is such a weak mindset

twitchquotes: The phrase โ€œitโ€™s just a gameโ€ is such a weak mindset. You are ok with what happened, losing, imperfection of a craft. When you stop getting angry after losing, youโ€™ve lost twice. Thereโ€™s always something to learn, and always room for improvement, never settle.
twitch chat
February 2020
Ninja

Space Invaders

โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘
ascii art
September 2021

Twitch Chat and Team Rocket

twitchquotes: ั‚o proั‚ecั‚ ั‚ะฝe cะฝaั‚ า“roะผ devaั•ั‚aั‚ฮนon, ั‚o ฯ…nฮนั‚e ั•paะผะผerั• wฮนั‚ะฝฮนn oฯ…r naั‚ฮนon, ั‚o denoฯ…nce ั‚ะฝe evฮนlั• oา“ ะฒanั• and ะผodั•, ั‚o eั…ั‚end oฯ…r ั•paะผ ั‚o ั‚ะฝe ั•pace aะฒove. copy! paั•ั‚e! ั‚wฮนั‚cะฝ cะฝaั‚, ั•croll aั‚ ั‚ะฝe ั•peed oา“ lฮนgะฝั‚! Sฯ…rrender or prepare ั‚o า“ฮนgะฝั‚! ( อกยฐ อœส– อกยฐ) ั‚ะฝaั‚'ั• rฮนgะฝั‚!
twitch chat
June 2014
imaqtpie

Handsome Squidward

โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โฃ€โฃ€โฃ€โฃ โฃคโฃคโฃ„โฃ€โฃ€โฃ€โก€โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โฃ€โ คโ –โ Šโ ‰โ โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ ˆโ ‰โ ™โ ฒโขคโก€โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โกคโ Šโ โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ ˆโขฆโก€โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โกœโ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โข€โก€โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โขขโ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โขณโ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โฃธโ โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ ฑโก€โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โก€โ ˆโ €โก€โ €โ €โ €โ ˆโก‡โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โกโ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โกฐโ โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ ˜โก†โกœโ โ €โ €โ €โ €โขงโก€โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โก‡โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ ธโก€โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โฃ€โฃคโก‚โ €โ ‡โ ฑโ €โก€โ €โ €โ €โ €โก‡โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โข‡โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ ˆโข„โก€โข โฃŸโขญโฃฅโฃคโ ฝโก†โ €โกถโฃŠโฃ‰โฃฒโฃคโข€โกžโ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ ˜โฃ†โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โก€โ €โ โ ‚โ ˜โ „โฃˆโฃ™โกกโกดโ €โ €โ ™โฃ„โ ™โฃ›โ œโ ˜โฃ†โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ ˆโขฆโก€โ €โ €โ €โขธโ โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ „โ Šโ €โ €โ €โ €โกธโ ›โ €โ €โ €โขธโ †โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ ˆโ “โ ฆโข„โฃ˜โฃ„โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โก โ €โ €โ €โ €โฃ‡โก€โ €โ €โฃ โ Žโ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โฃธโ โ ˆโกŸโ ’โ ฒโฃ„โ €โ €โกฐโ ‡โ –โข„โ €โ €โกนโก‡โข€โ Žโ โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โข€โก‡โ €โ €โก‡โ €โ €โ นโ €โกžโ €โ €โข€โ คโฃโ ญโก€โขฑโขธโ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โข€โฃ€โฃ€โฃ โ žโ €โ €โข โก‡โ €โ €โ €โ €โ โ €โขดโ ฅโ คโ ฆโ ฆโกผโ €โขธโ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โฃ€โฃคโฃดโฃถโฃฟโฃฟโกŸโ โ €โ ‹โ €โ €โ €โขธโ โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ ‘โฃ โขคโ โ โ €โขธโ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโกŸโ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โขธโก€โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ ฌโ ฅโฃ„โ €โ €โ ˆโ ฒโก„โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโก‡โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ ™โ ฆโฃ„โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ ˆโขณโ €โ €โข€โฃฟโก€โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃงโ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ ˆโ ™โ ’โ ฆโ คโขคโฃ„โฃ€โฃ โ คโขฟโฃถโฃถโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃถโฃคโก€โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃทโฃ„โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โข€โกผโ โ €โ €โฃ โฃพโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃ„โ €โ €โ €โ € โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃถโฃฆโฃคโฃคโฃ€โฃ€โฃ€โฃ€โฃ€โฃ€โฃ€โฃคโฃคโฃคโฃถโฃพโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโ €โ €โ €
ascii art
February 2021

Classic

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