[Copypasta] What if TF2 injuries were more realistic?

Just imagine: You are playing 2fort as RED team and pick heavy, you get out of spawn when suddenly a Pyro with the Homewrecker hits you square on the head. Your Heavy falls down and makes a weird snoring sound and has a nasty gash in his head with clear fluid running out of his ears. Then for like 30 minutes the screen goes black and you hear Heavy being transported into an ambulance. After the 30 mins Heavy opens his eyes a little. It looks like hes in the ICU and is currently getting artificially ventilated. Then the screen goes black again for 3 days until Heavy opens his eyes a little to see a woman, presumably heavys wife, crying beside his bed. She says something but it seems like Heavy doesnt understand anything she is saying, only thing you clearly make out is "permanent brain damage" and how sorry she is for never talking you out of your Mercenary profession. Then the screen goes black for another 5 months with some short times of conciousness inbetween until you see the same woman with 2 kids talking to your doctor in the ICU. All you can make out is that they decided to end your suffering and pull the plug. The last thing you see is heavys eyes closing, until you suddenly respawn in RED Spawn.
January 2021
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

Kripps stream makes you want to drink hard

twitchquotes: u wot m8? i swer u are one cheeky cunt mate, say it to my face and not online and we'll see what happens. i swer 2 christ I'll hook you in the gabba. you better shut your mouth or im calling me homeboys rite now preparin for a proper rumble. tha rumble thatll make your nan sore jus hearin bout it. yer in proper mess ya nob head.
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

AITA for not going to my friend’s funeral home if he isn’t coming to mine?

So me (69m) and my friend (69m) were at waffle house (7300 Innerplan Dr, North Little Rock, Arkansas 72113-7645, US) and were discussing funerals (6-9k). I mentioned that since I will be attending his funeral (approx. 2032) that it would be impudent for him not to turn up to mine (approx. 2036). Long story short, this lead for him to swing a naughty haymaker (right) directly aiming for my jaw when I rapidly dodged and gave the cheeky cunt a swift uppercut (broken nose). He is now hospitalized (critical condition) and I am now currently evading law enforcement (on foot). My family (69f wife, 54m son, 69f wife) have been trying to contact me but I keep telling them if I ever see that punk again, I will give him a little combo (right hook, left hook, headbutt then roundhouse kick). If he is still moving I will stomp on his head until he is a little red smear on the bottom of my boot (black timberlands). I know I’m right but I feel as if I may have overreacted a tiny bit (not too much) AITA?
November 2019

Am I The Asshole?

FeelsDankManRead

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠄⠄⠄⣾⠛⠛⣷⢀⣾⠟⠻⣦⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡀⠄⠄⢰⡿⠋⠄⠄⣠⡾⠋⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡄⠄⣬⡄⠄⠄⠄⣭⡅⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⢛⣛⣛⣛⣛⣛⣛⣛⣛⡛⢋⣉⣭⣭⣥⣬⣤⣤⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⣴⣵⣿⣟⡉⣥⣶⣶⠶⠶⠬⣉⡂⠹⣟⡫⠽⠟⢒⣒⠒⠆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣭⣃⡈⠄⠄⠘⠃⡰⢶⣶⣿⠏⠄⠄⠙⡛⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⣉⣉⣩⣭⣶⣿⡿⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠾⣋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⢾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢩⣶⣒⠒⠶⢖⣒⣚⡛⠭⠭⠭⠍⠉⠁⠄⠄⠄⣀⣀⡀⠄ ⠘⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣬⣭⣭⣭⣤⡤⠤⠶⠟⣋⣀⣀⡀⢀⣤⣾⠟⠋⠈⢳⠄ ⣴⣦⡒⠬⠭⣭⣭⣭⣙⣛⠋⠭⡍⠁⠈⠙⠛⠛⠛⠛⢻⠛⠉⢻⠁⠄⠄⠄⢸⡀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣤⠤⢬⢍⣼⣦⡾⠛⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⡇⠄⢸⠄⠄⠄⢦⣄⣇ ⣿⣿⡿⣋⣭⣭⣶⣿⣶⣿⣿⣿⠟⠛⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⠃⠄⡜⠄⠄⠄⠔⣿⣿
November 2021

Pepe

Yee

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May 2016

Teleporting again, son?

⢸⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⢸⠀ ⠀⢸⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⡷⠀ ⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀ ⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀ ⡇ ⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀ ⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇Teleporting ⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠖⠒⢸⠀ ⠀⢸⠒⠒⢤⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⡇again, son? ⢸⠀⠀⣀⢤⣼⣀⡠⢸⠀ ⠀⢸⠤⠤⠼⠤⡄⠀ ⠀⡇ ⢸⠀⠀⠑⡤⠤⡒⠒⢸⠀ ⠀⢸⠒⡊⠙⡏⠀⢀ ⠀⡇ ⢸⠀⠀⠀⠇⠀⣀⣀⢸⠀⠀ ⢸⣀⣀⢀⠧⠟⠁⠀ ⡇ ⢸⠀⠀⠀⠸⣀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀ ⢸⠈⢉⠟⠓⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇ ⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢱⡖⢸⠀⠀ ⢸⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇ ⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⢺⠧⢸⠀⠀ ⢸⢄⣀⠀⠀⣀⣀⠀⠀⡇ ⢸⠀⠀⠀⣠⠃⢸⠀⢸⠀⠀ ⢸⠀⠈⠉⡽⠿⠯⡆⠀⡇ ⢸⠀⠀⣰⠁⠀⢸⠀⢸⠀⠀ ⢸⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠉⠀⠀⡇ ⢸⠀⠀⠣⠀⠀⢸⢄⢸⠀⠀ ⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇ ⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⢸⠀⠀ ⢸⢇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇ ⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡌⠀⢸⠀⠀ ⢸⠈⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇ ⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠃⠀⢸⠀⠀ ⢸⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇ ⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀ ⢸⠀⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠷
March 2022
Text-to-Speech Playing