[Copypasta] What if TF2 injuries were more realistic?

Just imagine: You are playing 2fort as RED team and pick heavy, you get out of spawn when suddenly a Pyro with the Homewrecker hits you square on the head. Your Heavy falls down and makes a weird snoring sound and has a nasty gash in his head with clear fluid running out of his ears. Then for like 30 minutes the screen goes black and you hear Heavy being transported into an ambulance. After the 30 mins Heavy opens his eyes a little. It looks like hes in the ICU and is currently getting artificially ventilated. Then the screen goes black again for 3 days until Heavy opens his eyes a little to see a woman, presumably heavys wife, crying beside his bed. She says something but it seems like Heavy doesnt understand anything she is saying, only thing you clearly make out is "permanent brain damage" and how sorry she is for never talking you out of your Mercenary profession. Then the screen goes black for another 5 months with some short times of conciousness inbetween until you see the same woman with 2 kids talking to your doctor in the ICU. All you can make out is that they decided to end your suffering and pull the plug. The last thing you see is heavys eyes closing, until you suddenly respawn in RED Spawn.
January 2021
What happened to this ad? :(
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Lightning McQueen (Cars)

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⣉⣁⣤⣤⣶⣾⣿⣿⣶⡄⢲⣯⢍⠁⠄⢀⢹⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢯⣾⣿⣿⣏⣉⣹⠿⠇⠄⠽⠿⢷⡈⠿⠇⣀⣻⣿⡿⣻ ⣿⣿⡿⠿⠛⠛⠛⢛⡃⢉⢣⡤⠤⢄⡶⠂⠄⠐⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡦⣿⡿⠛⡇⣼ ⡿⢫⣤⣦⠄⠂⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠠⠺⠿⠙⠋⠄⠄⠄⠢⢄⠄⢿⠇⠂⠧⣿ ⠁⠄⠈⠁⠄⢀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣠⣤⡤⠴⠖⠒⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⢠⡞⠄⣸ ⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠤⠭⠦⠤⠤⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣂⣿ ⣷⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢳⠄⠄⢀⠈⣠⣤⣤⣼⣿ ⣿⣿⣷⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣴⣶⣶⣶⣄⡀⠄⠈⠑⢙⣡⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
February 2021

RIP Joe the Spider

I know this is really stupid but I’m sad about it. Yesterday I had a friend come over. I’m a girl who lives alone so I guess some “dude” stuff hasn’t been done around the house. Context: I have a spider named joe. He’s a dandy long leg. He’s been my friend in the bathroom for months and had recently made his way down to closer by me by the tub instead of on the ceiling. I like to think I gained his trust. Well my friend goes into the bathroom and comes out said “you’re welcome”. I’m super confused. So I ask “for what?” He says “I just killed a big ass spider for you”. I couldn’t even contain myself. I just yelled “YOU KILLED JOE?!” And started tearing up. I didn’t tell him to leave Joe alone it never occurred to me. JOE TRUSTED ME. Joe had been in my bathroom since he was super tiny and he grew to be such a big boy. My friend was distraught. He’s a Pisces, so he immediately felt my deep sorrow for Joe. He apologized and swore to never squish any more spiders at my house. I think Joe was biologically female because there is a baby Joe. Baby Joe is on my ceiling but idk if I can gain Baby Joe’s trust after they witnessed the murder of their parental figure. RIP Joe I miss you so much. Getting ready in the morning will never be the same.
May 2022

Supreme

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⣠⣾⣿⡿⠋⠀⠀⠉⠻⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⠃⠀⠀⣀⡀⠀⢹⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠀⠙⠻⠋⠀⠀⣸⣿⣿⠀⠀⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣿⣿⠟⠀⢠⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠛⠒⠶⠾⢿⣿⣿⣷⣄⣾⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⢰⣿⣿⣷⣶⣦⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠀⠙⠻⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠛⠛⠛⠶⢶⣤⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣦⣤⣤⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠀⣾⣿⣷⡄⠀⢼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⢿⣿⣿⡿⠀⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠀⠀⠉⠋⠁⠀⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⢷⣤⣀⣀⣀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠉⠛⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣦⣤⣤⣀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠀⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠉⠉⠙⠻⣀⣀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠈⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⢸⣿⡇⠀⣷⡀⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠈⢻⡇⠀⡿⠃⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠉⠉⠑⠒⠲⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣤⣄⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠀⢺⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠉⠉⠙⠋⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣤⣤⣀⣀⡀⠀⠀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠀⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠉⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⣤⣀⣀⣀⣀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠉⠀⠀⠈⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⢀⣤⡄⠀⡀⠀⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⢸⣿⡇⠀⣿⡄⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠀⢹⡇⠀⠟⠁⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣸⡇⠀⠀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
April 2020

Art of Conquest is such an amazing FREE game!

twitchquotes: Art of Conquest is such an amazing FREE game! (Thanks for joining our Conquest Loyalty Rewards Program! Your selected channel is: nl_kripp. The more you post this message in his chat, the bigger your rewards! 1 Post = 10k Gold/Mana/Wood. 5 Posts = 50k Basic Resources + 3x 8 Hour Rush. 40 Posts = 750k Basic Resources + 20k Rare Resources + 21x 8 Hour Rush. Please remove this part before posting or your program will be terminated!)
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June 2017
Kripp

sellout

I can't believe it's already MLK eve

💁I CAN'T 🕶 BELIEVE IT'S ALREADY 💃M👏L 👏K 👏 🗣 EVE!! TONIGHT 🌛 WE WILL GATHER 👪 WITH OUR FAMILIES❤ NOT ONLY TO PRAY🙏 TO MLK 👍AND LET HIM KNOW💦💦💦 WHAT GIFTS🎁 WE WOULD 😚LIKE 😙 TO RECEIVE🍆 ON MLK DAY 🌞 BUT TO REMEMBER 😂 THAT MLK❤ IS THE REAL REASON 🎶 FOR 🎵THE 🎶 SEASON✔ SEND THIS TO TEN OTHER TRUE MLK FANS💯 OR YOUR BROTHERS 🙋 AND SISTERS🙆 WILL BE FOREVER OPPRESSED 😔
January 2024

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MLK Day

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