[Copypasta] What if TF2 injuries were more realistic?

Just imagine: You are playing 2fort as RED team and pick heavy, you get out of spawn when suddenly a Pyro with the Homewrecker hits you square on the head. Your Heavy falls down and makes a weird snoring sound and has a nasty gash in his head with clear fluid running out of his ears. Then for like 30 minutes the screen goes black and you hear Heavy being transported into an ambulance. After the 30 mins Heavy opens his eyes a little. It looks like hes in the ICU and is currently getting artificially ventilated. Then the screen goes black again for 3 days until Heavy opens his eyes a little to see a woman, presumably heavys wife, crying beside his bed. She says something but it seems like Heavy doesnt understand anything she is saying, only thing you clearly make out is "permanent brain damage" and how sorry she is for never talking you out of your Mercenary profession. Then the screen goes black for another 5 months with some short times of conciousness inbetween until you see the same woman with 2 kids talking to your doctor in the ICU. All you can make out is that they decided to end your suffering and pull the plug. The last thing you see is heavys eyes closing, until you suddenly respawn in RED Spawn.
January 2021
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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GUYS IM MEETING AMOGUS!

GUYS IM MEETING AMOGUS!!!! 😭😭📮📮❤️❤️❤️ IM SERIOUSLY NOT LYING!!! My mom is also the impostor and she says i can meet him as long as i sign papers saying i can’t expose who he is to other crewmates 😱😱 This is so epic I will be updating and IM NOT LYING IF YOU THINK IM LYING THEN LEAVE 🤬🤬 Should I ask to report my mom cause she is sus?
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Ukrainian President asks Kripp for help

twitchquotes: ʜᴇʟʟᴏ, ᴋʀɪᴘᴘᴀʀʀɪɴᴏ, ᴛʜɪs ɪs ᴜᴋʀᴀɴɪᴀɴ ᴘʀᴇsɪᴅᴇɴᴛ ᴏʟᴇᴋsᴀɴᴅʀ ᴛᴜʀᴄʜʏɴᴏᴠɪɴᴏ. ᴏᴜʀ ᴘᴇᴏᴘʟᴇ ᴀʀᴇ ʙᴇɪɴɢ ᴏᴘᴘʀᴇssᴇᴅ ʙʏ ʀᴜssɪᴀ ᴀɴᴅ ᴏᴜʀ ᴄɪᴛɪᴢᴇɴs ɴᴇᴇᴅ ᴏʀᴀɴɢᴇ ᴊᴜɪᴄᴇ. ᴘʟᴇᴀsᴇ sᴇɴᴅ ᴏᴊ. ᴘʟᴇᴀsᴇ ɴᴏ ᴀʟ ᴘᴀᴄɪɴᴏ.
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

Fortnite default dance 4

⠀⠀⣀ ⠀⠿⣿⣿⣀ ⠀⠉⣿⣿⣀ ⠀⠀⠛⣿⣭⣀⣀⣤ ⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠛⠿⣶⣀ ⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⣉⣶ ⠀⠀⠉⣿⣿⣿⣿⣀⠀⠀⣿⠉ ⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⣀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿ ⠀⣿⣿⣿⠿⠉⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⣿⣿⠿⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣶⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿ ⠛⣿⣿⣀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣀ ⠀⣿⣿⠉⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠉⠛⠛⠿⣿⣶ ⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣿ ⠀⠀⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉ ⣀⣶⣿⠛
November 2018

Fortnite Default Dance

Fortnite

Kripp meets Gordon Ramsay

twitchquotes: Kripp meets Gordan Ramsay behind the kitchen, gently caressing his body, he mutters "hey say that word again, and say it like you mean it" "ORE-GAHHHNO" Ramsey softly whispers into kripps ear, as he gets chills throughout his body "oh you know i love it when you say that, now give me my daily dose of OMEEGA 3" as Ramsey inserts his sausage into kripps prepared packag
twitch chat
December 2016
Kripp

Joseph Kony's message to Kripp

twitchquotes: Hello Kripp, I am famous child soldier militia commander Joseph Kony. I want to help you make your own child soldier militia too so we can fight the white man as one. I hope you make the right decision and remember, dongerino dongerino please no copi pasterino banerino Al Pacino cappuccino orange moccha frappuccino steal your kiderino.
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing