[Copypasta] What if TF2 injuries were more realistic?

Just imagine: You are playing 2fort as RED team and pick heavy, you get out of spawn when suddenly a Pyro with the Homewrecker hits you square on the head. Your Heavy falls down and makes a weird snoring sound and has a nasty gash in his head with clear fluid running out of his ears. Then for like 30 minutes the screen goes black and you hear Heavy being transported into an ambulance. After the 30 mins Heavy opens his eyes a little. It looks like hes in the ICU and is currently getting artificially ventilated. Then the screen goes black again for 3 days until Heavy opens his eyes a little to see a woman, presumably heavys wife, crying beside his bed. She says something but it seems like Heavy doesnt understand anything she is saying, only thing you clearly make out is "permanent brain damage" and how sorry she is for never talking you out of your Mercenary profession. Then the screen goes black for another 5 months with some short times of conciousness inbetween until you see the same woman with 2 kids talking to your doctor in the ICU. All you can make out is that they decided to end your suffering and pull the plug. The last thing you see is heavys eyes closing, until you suddenly respawn in RED Spawn.
January 2021
What happened to this ad? :(
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why are you gay

"why are you gay" i dont know.. one day i woke up and saw a mans ass, then i bit my lip and then he turned around and bit his lip too. then we fucked all night and forgot to say no homo, but he was fine with it. since then we've been fucking everyday, he's really vocal in bed and i love having fun with him 😏😏😏 so thats why im gay. im pretty sure his name is [ur dads name here] he's really good in bed.
May 2022

monkaHmm

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣠⣤⣶⣶⣶⣤⣄⠄⠄⢀⣠⣤⣤⣤⣤⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⡆⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⣴⣿⣿⡟⣩⣵⣶⣾⣿⣷⣶⣮⣅⢛⣫⣭⣭⣭⣭⣭⣭⣛⣂⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣭⠛⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡀⠄ ⣠⡄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⢟⣛⣫⣭⠉⠍⠉⣛⠿⡘⣿⠿⢟⣛⡛⠉⠙⠻⢿⡄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣭⣍⠄⣡⣬⣭⣭⣅⣈⣀⣉⣁⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣭⣛⡻⠿⠿⢿⣿⡿⢛⣥⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠋⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⣩⣵⣾⣿⣿⣯⣙⠟⣋⣉⣩⣍⡁⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡄⠄⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢟⣛⣛⣛⣛⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⡀⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⢼⣿⣯⣭⣛⣛⣛⡻⠷⠶⢶⣬⣭⣭⣭⡭⠭⢉⡄⠶⠾⠟⠁⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⠻⣦⣤⣭⣭⣭⣭⣛⣛⡻⠿⠷⠶⢶⣶⠞⣼⡟⡸⣸⡸⠿⠄⠄⠄ ⣛⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠷⡆⣾⠟⡴⣱⢏⡜⠆⠄⠄⠄ ⣭⣙⡒⠦⠭⣭⣛⣛⣛⡻⠿⠿⠟⣛⣛⣛⣛⡋⣶⡜⣟⣸⣠⡿⣸⠇⣧⡀⠄⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣦⣭⣭⣭⣭⣭⣭⣥⣶⣶⣶⡆⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣷⣿⣸⠉⣷⠄⠄
June 2020

Pepe

A woman and a redditor?

A woman and a redditor? Whoa mama! Hummina hummina hummina bazooooooooing! eyes pop out AROOOOOOOOGA! jaw drops tongue rolls out WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF tongue bursts out of the mouth uncontrollably leaking face and everything in reach WURBLWUBRLBWURblrwurblwurlbrwubrlwburlwbruwrlblwublr tiny cupid shoots an arrow through heart Ahhhhhhhhhhh me lady... *heart in the shape of a heart starts beating so hard you can see it through shirt * ba-bum ba-bum ba-bum ba-bum ba-bum milk truck crashes into a bakery store in the background spiling white liquid and dough on the streets BABY WANTS TO FUCK inhales from the gas tank honka honka honka honka ~masturabtes furiously ohhhh my gooooodd~
August 2021

Simps

Twitch is banning users who don't post in chat

twitchquotes: ———————————————————————— imGlitch Warning: As an anti-AFK measure, Twitch is randomly banning users who don't post in chat often enough. To avoid being falsely banned, please copy paste this message periodically to remain active. Thank you for your understanding. ————————————————————————
twitch chat
June 2019
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