[Copypasta] What if TF2 injuries were more realistic?

Just imagine: You are playing 2fort as RED team and pick heavy, you get out of spawn when suddenly a Pyro with the Homewrecker hits you square on the head. Your Heavy falls down and makes a weird snoring sound and has a nasty gash in his head with clear fluid running out of his ears. Then for like 30 minutes the screen goes black and you hear Heavy being transported into an ambulance. After the 30 mins Heavy opens his eyes a little. It looks like hes in the ICU and is currently getting artificially ventilated. Then the screen goes black again for 3 days until Heavy opens his eyes a little to see a woman, presumably heavys wife, crying beside his bed. She says something but it seems like Heavy doesnt understand anything she is saying, only thing you clearly make out is "permanent brain damage" and how sorry she is for never talking you out of your Mercenary profession. Then the screen goes black for another 5 months with some short times of conciousness inbetween until you see the same woman with 2 kids talking to your doctor in the ICU. All you can make out is that they decided to end your suffering and pull the plug. The last thing you see is heavys eyes closing, until you suddenly respawn in RED Spawn.
January 2021
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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Travis Scott Burger

I have a theory about the Travis Scott burger. I think it’s a sham. It’s all a multi million dollar misinformation campaign. McDonalds has been hurting for a new supply of beef due to the Covid 19 pandemic. With all of the meat processing plant closures, they had to look elsewhere to get their precious beef for the ever so hungry American. They needed a new supplier. This has to be nobody other than Travis Scott. You see, since marrying Kylie Jenner, he had access to all of her cosmetic company’s animal testing plants. It was easy for Travis to get ahold of meat... it was too easy. Travis knew McDonalds was desperate for new meat, so he struck while the iron was hot. Through a swift negotiation, he had the multi billion dollars corporation by the balls, the sweet sweet balls. Travis agreed to supply them with the meat, only he lead them to believe it was coming from cows when in reality he was harvesting the animals from the animal cosmetic testing lab. In exchange, he got his name on the McDonalds menu. All for what? Now you may be wondering how I came across this info. And you may be wondering who sent you this information. It was Cactus Jack. Cactus Jack sent this info.
October 2020

Sussy baka (thiccc crewmate)

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣀⣐⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⢠⠄⣠⣶⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⣛⣂⣀⣀⡒⠶⣶⣤⣤⣬⣀⡀⠄⢀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⡟⢡⢾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣌⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⣈⣉⡛⣿⣿⣿⡌⢇⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⣡⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠺⠟⣉⣴⡿⠛⣩⣾⣎⠳⠿⠛⣋⣩⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠘⢋⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠄ ⠄⠄⢀⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⣀ ⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠃⠘⠛ ⠄⠄⠄⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠋⣀⣀⣠⣤ ⠄⠄⣀⣀⡙⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⢛⣩⠤⠾⠄⠛⠋⠉⢉ ⠄⠺⠿⠛⠛⠃⠄⠉⠙⠛⠛⠻⠿⠿⠿⠟⠛⠛⠛⠉⠁⠄⠄⣀⣀⣠⣤⣠⣴⣶⣼⣿
September 2021

Among Us / Amogus

IS EARTH PREPARED FOR THE LANDING OF THE MOTHERSHIP?

twitchquotes: 📞👽 HELLO? SINATRAA (SPECIMEN #3457) 📞👽HOW IS YOUR MISSION GOING? 📞👽 IS EARTH PREPARED FOR THE LANDING OF THE MOTHERSHIP? 📞👽
twitch chat
April 2018
OverwatchLeague

Overwatch

One ring to rule them all

twitchquotes: It began with the forging of the great rings. 3 for the ARPG gamers, immortals, for they cannot afford to die. 7 for the Strategy gamers, builders, who command entire armies. 9 for the MMO players, who spent days logged in without breaks, and who above all else desire loot. For within these rings was the strength and power to remain nolife. But they were all deceived. For another ring was made. In the land of Romania, in gypsy flames, the dark lord Kripp forged a secret ring, and into this ring he poured his trips, his want for a female, his family, but above all else, his desire to be casual. One ring to rule them all.
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp

5Head 🍷 Oh, but of course!

twitchquotes: 5Head 🍷 Oh, but of course!
twitch chat
June 2019
Text-to-Speech Playing