[Copypasta] What if TF2 injuries were more realistic?

Just imagine: You are playing 2fort as RED team and pick heavy, you get out of spawn when suddenly a Pyro with the Homewrecker hits you square on the head. Your Heavy falls down and makes a weird snoring sound and has a nasty gash in his head with clear fluid running out of his ears. Then for like 30 minutes the screen goes black and you hear Heavy being transported into an ambulance. After the 30 mins Heavy opens his eyes a little. It looks like hes in the ICU and is currently getting artificially ventilated. Then the screen goes black again for 3 days until Heavy opens his eyes a little to see a woman, presumably heavys wife, crying beside his bed. She says something but it seems like Heavy doesnt understand anything she is saying, only thing you clearly make out is "permanent brain damage" and how sorry she is for never talking you out of your Mercenary profession. Then the screen goes black for another 5 months with some short times of conciousness inbetween until you see the same woman with 2 kids talking to your doctor in the ICU. All you can make out is that they decided to end your suffering and pull the plug. The last thing you see is heavys eyes closing, until you suddenly respawn in RED Spawn.
January 2021
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

Twitch Memer in his natural habitat

twitchquotes: Here we can observe the Twitch Memer in his natural habitat, stuck as usual in this intricate limbo of carefully crafted memes, emote spam and endless copypastas that no one even bothers to read anymore. The Memer actually used to be a very functional human being way back then. Will he ever claim that state back and finally manage to reproduce?
twitch chat
May 2016
Reynad

It can only be described as a Twisting Nether

twitchquotes: I gasp in horror as Kripp pulls out his "huge gun". It can only be described as a Twisting Nether. He says "I got lethal now ". Then he topdecks Blizzard and frosts my face. I groan as he grabs my package and whispers "No sniperinos on my stream..." Then he continues to Gorehowl me.
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp

Hearthstone

Ben Brode and Tyrande

twitchquotes: Ben Brode twirls his fingers in Tyrande's soft dirty blue hair. "If I do this, will you make Elune great again?" Tyrande asks as she starts to undress. "Just do as I say and I'll give you the next Dr. Boom". Tyrande prepares her Cockbiter Weapon. She nods as Ben Brode takes out his 4 mana 7/7 and slams it into Tyrande's 0/5 tightwell. "BY ELUNE'S GRACE"! Tyrande screams. After Boom-botting for 3 seconds, "HAAHAAHAA! YOU HAVE BEEN PURIFIED!" Brode yells as he SCAMAZes all over Tyrande's face..
twitch chat
October 2016

Hearthstone

I'm epic gamer style

twitchquotes: Yeah I’m not surprised your girl wants to leave you for me. Not my fault I’m fucking epic gamer style. Why wouldn’t she wanna be with me lol I have a 3.2 kd in Fortnite, backseat game in Twitch chats, and I reddit hard as fuck. Sorry for being too dope
twitch chat
May 2019

Ahegao 2

⣿⡇⠘⡇⢀⣶⣶⠄⠈⣾⡟⢂⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢉⢾⢃⣿⣿⡟⣸⢸⣿⣿⣸ ⣿⢸⣦⢧⢸⣿⣿⢱⠄⠄⣇⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢟⣼⣿⡯⠸⣿⢳⢱⡏⣼⣿⢇⣿ ⡏⣾⢽⣼⢸⣿⣿⡘⣆⢀⠛⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣫⣾⣿⣿⢇⣿⠂⢌⡾⡇⣿⡿⢸⣿ ⢧⣿⠄⢹⢸⣿⣿⣷⣭⢸⡄⣿⣿⣿⢋⣵⣿⣿⡿⠟⡨⡡⠄⣾⣿⡆⣭⡇⣿⣿ ⣼⡏⡀⠄⢀⢿⣿⣿⡟⣾⡇⣿⡿⣡⢁⣿⣿⣫⡶⢃⡵⣡⣿⣮⡻⡇⣿⢸⣮⢿ ⣿⡇⣧⢠⠸⡎⡍⡭⢾⡏⣧⢋⢾⠏⣼⣿⣿⠿⣵⣾⣕⠿⣿⣿⣷⢡⠏⣾⣿⣿ ⣿⠁⣿⠈⠄⠄⢃⢹⡀⠸⢸⢿⠸⢰⢻⢿⣟⢁⣀⠄⠄⠉⠒⢝⢿⠸⣴⣿⣿⣿ ⡍⠇⣿⣷⢰⢰⢸⠄⡃⡆⠈⠈⡀⡌⠠⠸⠃⣿⣏⡳⢷⢄⡀⠄⠄⠰⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⡇⠄⠸⣿⢸⣿⣶⡄⣇⠃⡇⡄⡇⠁⠃⠄⠈⢊⠻⠿⣿⣿⣿⣦⠄⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⡇⠄⠄⢻⣸⣿⣿⠏⡙⢸⣇⣡⢰⢀⠄⠄⠄⠈⡁⢱⢈⢿⣿⡿⡄⣰⣶⣿⣿⣿ ⡇⠄⠄⠄⢻⣿⡿⢰⡇⠆⠲⠶⣝⠾⠸⢴⢠⠄⠇⢸⢸⠄⡶⡜⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⢏ ⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⢿⡇⠧⢣⣸⣦⣄⣀⠁⠓⢸⣄⠸⢀⠄⡀⡀⡪⣽⣿⣿⢿⣿⢟⣬ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⢧⠯⢸⣿⣿⣿⡿⠰⣷⠄⣿⣇⡿⠄⡀⠦⣰⣿⡿⣱⣿⡏⢾⣫ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⣌⢌⢿⣿⣿⠇⠼⢃⢠⢇⣻⣧⣿⡡⣸⣿⠿⢁⡟⢁⣳⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠳⢝⣒⣒⠰⣘⣴⡧⠿⣿⣛⡯⣱⡿⣫⢎⣪⣎⣿⣧⢻⠿
January 2021

Weebs

Text-to-Speech Playing