[Copypasta] What if TF2 injuries were more realistic?

Just imagine: You are playing 2fort as RED team and pick heavy, you get out of spawn when suddenly a Pyro with the Homewrecker hits you square on the head. Your Heavy falls down and makes a weird snoring sound and has a nasty gash in his head with clear fluid running out of his ears. Then for like 30 minutes the screen goes black and you hear Heavy being transported into an ambulance. After the 30 mins Heavy opens his eyes a little. It looks like hes in the ICU and is currently getting artificially ventilated. Then the screen goes black again for 3 days until Heavy opens his eyes a little to see a woman, presumably heavys wife, crying beside his bed. She says something but it seems like Heavy doesnt understand anything she is saying, only thing you clearly make out is "permanent brain damage" and how sorry she is for never talking you out of your Mercenary profession. Then the screen goes black for another 5 months with some short times of conciousness inbetween until you see the same woman with 2 kids talking to your doctor in the ICU. All you can make out is that they decided to end your suffering and pull the plug. The last thing you see is heavys eyes closing, until you suddenly respawn in RED Spawn.
January 2021
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

Fix abortion ban with NFT trading

Dear women, The United States will soon ban abortion country wide. So, how will you get one now? Simple. Fly to Canada. "But how will I get the money to fly there?" This is where NFTs come in. I am going to give a step by step process on how to afford a plane ticket with NFT Trading.
July 2022

NFTs

64 is cool, Melee is too, Ultimate will suffice

twitchquotes: <3 64 IS COOL <3 MELEE IS TOO <3 ULTIMATE WILL SUFFICE <3 SO LET’S BE NICE <3
twitch chat
February 2019
VGBootCamp

Super Smash Bros

Elephant

β–‘β–’β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘ β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–“(O)β–“β–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–‘β–‘ β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆ β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆ β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆ β–‘β–’β–‘β–‘β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆ β–‘β–’β–‘β–‘β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–ˆ β–‘β–’β–‘β–‘β–’β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–ˆβ–ˆ
November 2014

SIMP CHECK

twitchquotes: SIMP CHECK monkaS πŸ‘‰ pokiW IM SAFE PogU
twitch chat
June 2020

Simps

The giant salt monster known as Kripp

twitchquotes: All this salt has formed into the giant salt monster known as Kripp. For all the salt of the ocean can not keep him at bay. Blame RNG and lose! Then go to cast another player cause you can't play. The salt is real, the salt is kripp, and thats why he losses.
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing