[Copypasta] What if TF2 injuries were more realistic?

Just imagine: You are playing 2fort as RED team and pick heavy, you get out of spawn when suddenly a Pyro with the Homewrecker hits you square on the head. Your Heavy falls down and makes a weird snoring sound and has a nasty gash in his head with clear fluid running out of his ears. Then for like 30 minutes the screen goes black and you hear Heavy being transported into an ambulance. After the 30 mins Heavy opens his eyes a little. It looks like hes in the ICU and is currently getting artificially ventilated. Then the screen goes black again for 3 days until Heavy opens his eyes a little to see a woman, presumably heavys wife, crying beside his bed. She says something but it seems like Heavy doesnt understand anything she is saying, only thing you clearly make out is "permanent brain damage" and how sorry she is for never talking you out of your Mercenary profession. Then the screen goes black for another 5 months with some short times of conciousness inbetween until you see the same woman with 2 kids talking to your doctor in the ICU. All you can make out is that they decided to end your suffering and pull the plug. The last thing you see is heavys eyes closing, until you suddenly respawn in RED Spawn.
January 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Hey Reynad, this is a mean spirited comment

twitchquotes: @Reynad27, hey reynad this is a mean spirited comment with the sole purpose to offend you. Please destroy me with a hilarious comeback at your earliest convenience.
twitch chat
February 2016
Reynad

Maplestory Lucid

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡴⣪⣭⣿⣷⣶⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⠤⢤⢔⡾⣹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⠀⢰⢳⣿⣿⣿⠋⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⠟⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠔⠁⠀⠀⠀⢸⣼⣷⣻⣧⣴⣿⣏⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣦⠤ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢿⣿⣷⣿⣏⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠛⠁⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢀⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⢿⣿⣿⣿⣝⣿⣯⣾⠋⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⢠⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⡄⠀⠀⠙⣽⣝⠋⢡⣯⣀⠘⢦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⡷⡁⠀⡄⠀⢠⠻⠀⠀⠀⢸⠙⠀⠀⠀⠙⡇⢹⣧⠛⠂⠀⢤⣉⠢⡀⠀⠀ ⡠⢊⠚⢇⣰⢣⠀⡞⠒⠣⠀⠀⠘⡄⠘⠓⠲⢆⣳⠀⠀⣠⣄⣀⣀⠙⢯⣾⡄⠀ ⣇⣇⡌⠈⡜⡌⢳⣧⣤⣄⡑⠄⣀⣳⢀⣠⣤⣴⣾⡆⠀⣿⠖⣠⣮⠀⠀⣿⠇⠀ ⠈⠛⢇⠀⠿⠷⡘⣿⢙⠿⡏⠀⠈⠉⢻⣻⣿⡏⢹⡟⣢⣿⣟⡻⠋⢀⡴⠁⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠈⠢⢤⣀⣋⡿⢮⡉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠈⢉⣙⠷⠛⠺⣿⣙⣛⠭⠝⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⡩⠒⠶⠲⠞⠓⢦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣵⣕⣉⣫⣿⣦⠀⠱⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⡾⡿⡟⣻⣿⡏⠱⣮⣿⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⢿⡛⣿⣾⣜⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⡏⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣵⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⣿⣿⠟⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢻⣿⣿⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣿⣽⣿⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
April 2020

Weebs

I sexually Identify as Kripp

twitchquotes: I sexually identify as Kripp. Ever since i was a boy , I dreamed about playing kid's card game while complaining about RNG for a living. People say that being kripp isn't possible I'm ****** Retarded , but I don't care ,I'm beatiful. I'm having a crappy computer setup installed in my house , along with marrying a woman I can force to do all my cooking so I can complain twice as efficiently , If you don't accept me you're a Krippophobe and need to check your Krippileges
twitch chat
May 2016
Kripp

Hearthstone

I sexually Identify as

They tried circumcising me but my foreskin only grew back stronger

They tried circumcising me but my foreskin only grew back stronger. Since then I have been circumcised every 6 months. My foreskin is now stronger than steel. When I am in danger, I pull it over my body like an outer shell. It is fully bulletproof, fireproof, waterproof and extremely lightweight. I have plans to sell it as a highly rare, resistant material and make millions. Brigades will be made out of beams of foreskin, and police units will wear foreskin vests.
August 2021

It seems you've Eucked Fk0p

twitchquotes: As Trump leads Mira into the bedroom, she thinks about how many viewers tucking Frump will get her. As they get in bed, Trump turns off the light. After a vigorous minute, Mira rolls off Trump. "Could you host my stream?" she asks. "Sure," replies Ek DansGame p. As Mira recoils in horror, Trump speaks from the door, "It seems you've Eucked Fk0p."
twitch chat
September 2015
Trump
Text-to-Speech Playing