[Copypasta] What if TF2 injuries were more realistic?

Just imagine: You are playing 2fort as RED team and pick heavy, you get out of spawn when suddenly a Pyro with the Homewrecker hits you square on the head. Your Heavy falls down and makes a weird snoring sound and has a nasty gash in his head with clear fluid running out of his ears. Then for like 30 minutes the screen goes black and you hear Heavy being transported into an ambulance. After the 30 mins Heavy opens his eyes a little. It looks like hes in the ICU and is currently getting artificially ventilated. Then the screen goes black again for 3 days until Heavy opens his eyes a little to see a woman, presumably heavys wife, crying beside his bed. She says something but it seems like Heavy doesnt understand anything she is saying, only thing you clearly make out is "permanent brain damage" and how sorry she is for never talking you out of your Mercenary profession. Then the screen goes black for another 5 months with some short times of conciousness inbetween until you see the same woman with 2 kids talking to your doctor in the ICU. All you can make out is that they decided to end your suffering and pull the plug. The last thing you see is heavys eyes closing, until you suddenly respawn in RED Spawn.
January 2021
I used to be a real ad
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Dear Mr. Morosan, this is the Hellenic Ministry of Health

twitchquotes: Dear Mr. Morosan, this is the Hellenic Ministry of Health. We have received reports of excessive PJSalt production on your Twitch channel. You are a toxic individual and are hereby classified a Class A threat to national security. Please turn yourself in at the nearest Kappa station to be deported.
twitch chat
February 2015
Kripp

salty

Seagull

โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ—โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–„โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–Œโ–‘โ–Œโ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–Œโ–‘โ–Œโ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–Œโ–Œโ–„โ–Œโ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘
ascii art
December 2015
Kripp

Hello Kripp this is Saul Goodman

twitchquotes: สœแด‡สŸสŸแด แด‹ส€ษชแด˜แด˜ แด›สœษชs ษชs sแด€แดœสŸ ษขแดแดแด…แดแด€ษด. ษช'แด แด‡ ส™แด‡แด‡ษด ษชษดา“แดส€แดแด‡แด… ส™ส แด‡แด…แด…ส แด˜แด€sแด›แด‡ส€ษชษดแด แด›สœแด€แด› สแดแดœ แด€ส€แด‡ sแด›ส€แด‡แด€แดษชษดษข ษชสŸสŸแด‡ษขแด€สŸ แด„แดษดแด›แด‡ษดแด› า“ส€แดแด สแดแดœส€ sแด‡แด„ส€แด‡แด› ส™แด€sแด‡แดแด‡ษดแด› ษชษด ษขส€แด‡แด‡แด„แด‡. ษช แดกแดแดœสŸแด… สŸษชแด‹แด‡ แด›แด สœแด€แด แด‡ สแดแดœ แด€s แดส แด„สŸษชแด‡ษดแด› แด›แด แด˜ส€แดแด›แด‡แด„แด› สแดแดœ ษชษด แด„แดแดœส€แด› า“ส€แดแด แด›สœแดsแด‡ า“ษชสŸแด›สœส แด…แดษดษขแด‡ส€s แด€ษดแด… แด˜ส€แดsแด›แด‡ส€ษชษดแดs แด›สœแด€แด› สœแด€แด แด‡ แด€แด„แด„แดœsแด‡แด… สแดแดœ.
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp

Qtpie wears a blue shirt

twitchquotes: QT, after a long time of watching your mediocre gameplay, and biting cats tails. We have always seen you in your white shirt, the only other time being black tshirt to your wedding. Why is your shirt blue? Are you trying to tell us something? Do you need help? Is this a cry of attention? We need to know QT ... Sincerely, a concerned chatter.
twitch chat
May 2019
imaqtpie
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