[Copypasta] What if TF2 injuries were more realistic?

Just imagine: You are playing 2fort as RED team and pick heavy, you get out of spawn when suddenly a Pyro with the Homewrecker hits you square on the head. Your Heavy falls down and makes a weird snoring sound and has a nasty gash in his head with clear fluid running out of his ears. Then for like 30 minutes the screen goes black and you hear Heavy being transported into an ambulance. After the 30 mins Heavy opens his eyes a little. It looks like hes in the ICU and is currently getting artificially ventilated. Then the screen goes black again for 3 days until Heavy opens his eyes a little to see a woman, presumably heavys wife, crying beside his bed. She says something but it seems like Heavy doesnt understand anything she is saying, only thing you clearly make out is "permanent brain damage" and how sorry she is for never talking you out of your Mercenary profession. Then the screen goes black for another 5 months with some short times of conciousness inbetween until you see the same woman with 2 kids talking to your doctor in the ICU. All you can make out is that they decided to end your suffering and pull the plug. The last thing you see is heavys eyes closing, until you suddenly respawn in RED Spawn.
January 2021
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

Do you guys mind not spamming the chat so much?

twitchquotes: ๐”ป๐•  ๐•ช๐• ๐•ฆ ๐•˜๐•ฆ๐•ช๐•ค ๐•ž๐•š๐•Ÿ๐•• ๐•Ÿ๐• ๐•ฅ ๐•ค๐•ก๐•’๐•ž๐•ž๐•š๐•Ÿ๐•˜ ๐•ฅ๐•™๐•– ๐•”๐•™๐•’๐•ฅ ๐•ค๐•  ๐•ž๐•ฆ๐•”๐•™? ๐•€'๐•ž ๐•ฃ๐•–๐•’๐•๐•๐•ช ๐•ฅ๐•ฃ๐•ช๐•š๐•Ÿ๐•˜ ๐•ฅ๐•  ๐•ก๐•’๐•ช ๐•’๐•ฅ๐•ฅ๐•–๐•Ÿ๐•ฅ๐•š๐• ๐•Ÿ ๐•ฅ๐•  ๐•ฅ๐•™๐•– ๐•ค๐•ฅ๐•ฃ๐•–๐•’๐•ž ๐•’๐•Ÿ๐•• ๐•ช๐• ๐•ฆ ๐•˜๐•ฆ๐•ช๐•ค ๐•’๐•ฃ๐•– ๐••๐•š๐•ค๐•ฅ๐•ฃ๐•’๐•”๐•ฅ๐•š๐•Ÿ๐•˜ ๐•ž๐•–. ๐•€๐•— ๐•ช๐• ๐•ฆ ๐•˜๐•ฆ๐•ช๐•ค ๐•ฃ๐•–๐•’๐•๐•๐•ช ๐•”๐•’๐•ฃ๐•–๐•• ๐•’๐•“๐• ๐•ฆ๐•ฅ ๐•ฅ๐•™๐•– ๐•ข๐•ฆ๐•’๐•๐•š๐•ฅ๐•ช ๐• ๐•— ๐•ฅ๐•™๐•– ๐•ค๐•ฅ๐•ฃ๐•–๐•’๐•ž ๐• ๐•ฃ ๐•„๐• ๐• ๐•Ÿ ๐•™๐•š๐•ž๐•ค๐•–๐•๐•— ๐•ช๐• ๐•ฆ ๐•จ๐• ๐•ฆ๐•๐•• ๐•ค๐•ฅ๐• ๐•ก ๐•ฅ๐•™๐•– ๐•ค๐•ก๐•’๐•ž๐•ž๐•š๐•Ÿ๐•˜ ๐•’๐•Ÿ๐•• ๐•”๐• ๐•ก๐•ช๐•š๐•Ÿ๐•˜ ๐•’๐•Ÿ๐•• ๐•ก๐•’๐•ค๐•ฅ๐•š๐•Ÿ๐•˜. ๐”พ๐• ๐••, ๐•€ ๐•ค๐•จ๐•–๐•’๐•ฃ ๐•ช๐• ๐•ฆ ๐•˜๐•ฆ๐•ช๐•ค ๐•’๐•ฃ๐•– ๐•ฅ๐•™๐•– ๐•จ๐• ๐•ฃ๐•ค๐•ฅ ๐•ก๐•’๐•ฃ๐•ฅ ๐• ๐•— ๐•ฅ๐•จ๐•š๐•ฅ๐•”๐•™. โ„‚๐• ๐•ฆ๐•๐••๐•Ÿ'๐•ฅ ๐•ช๐• ๐•ฆ ๐•›๐•ฆ๐•ค๐•ฅ ๐•ฅ๐•ฃ๐•ช ๐•ฅ๐•  ๐•“๐•– ๐•ž๐•’๐•ฅ๐•ฆ๐•ฃ๐•– ๐•—๐• ๐•ฃ ๐• ๐•Ÿ๐•”๐•– ๐•š๐•Ÿ ๐•ช๐• ๐•ฆ๐•ฃ ๐•๐•š๐•—๐•–?
twitch chat
February 2018
MOONMOON

GME revamp

GME should keep their retail stores but make it more of an experience like Hooters. Workers should be hot big tiddy goth girls or whatever other fetish gamers have. Bonuses if they have active social media (Instagram, Tik Tok, Only Fans, etc.) and extra bonus if they also stream on Twitch. 100% guaranteed increase traffic and sales in stores (simp farms). Literally cannot go tits up.
December 2020

WallStreetBets

Zeus hates Kripp's casualness

twitchquotes: Hแด‡สŸสŸแด แด‹ส€ษชแด˜แด˜, แด›สœษชs ษชs Zแด‡แดœs, Gแดแด… แดา“ OสŸสแดแด˜แดœs. I สœแด€แด แด‡ ส™แด‡แด‡ษด ษชษดา“แดส€แดแด‡แด… ส™ส แดส sแด‡ส€แด แด€ษดแด›s แด›สœแด€แด› สแดแดœ แด€ส€แด‡ แด…ษชsษขส€แด€แด„ษชษดษข แดส สœแดสŸส สŸแด€ษดแด… แดกษชแด›สœ สแดแดœส€ แด„แด€sแดœแด€สŸษดแด‡ss. Yแดแดœ สœแด€แด แด‡ two แดแดส€แด‡ แด…แด€สs แด›แด sแดœแดแดแดษด ส™แด€แด„แด‹ สแดแดœส€ สœแด€ส€แด…แด„แดส€แด‡ ส€แดแดแด›s แดส€ แด‡สŸsแด‡ I'แด ษขแดษชษดษข แด›แด แด€ษดษดษชสœษชสŸแด€แด›แด‡ สแดแดœส€ แด„แด€ษดแด€แด…ษชแด€ษด แด…แดษดษขแด‡ส€ แดกษชแด›สœ แดส +25% แด…แดษข แด›แด สŸษชษขสœแด›ษดษชษดษข sแด‹ษชสŸสŸ.
twitch chat
July 2014
Kripp

I spend all day working my ass off at the pasta factory

twitchquotes: I spend all day working my ass off at the pasta factory trying to provide pasta to hard-working people all across the world. After a long day of work, I come to Kripp's chat to unwind and have thought-driven discussions about my favorite game and favorite streamer. When I get here, however, all I see is pasta after pasta. All I want to do is escape my miserable life, but you fucks keep spamming.
twitch chat
March 2018

Classic

I hate Twitch Chat

Weather forecast for today, lots of salt

twitchquotes: ใƒฝ๏ฝ€ใƒฝ๏ฝ€ใ€ใƒฝใƒฝ๏ฝ€ใƒฝ๏ฝ€ใ€ใƒฝใƒฝ๏ฝ€ใƒฝ๏ฝ€ใ€ใƒฝใƒฝ๏ฝ€ใƒฝ๏ฝ€ใ€ใƒฝใƒฝเผผเบˆ ู„อœเบˆเผฝ๏พ‰โ˜‚ สทแต‰แตƒแต—สฐแต‰สณ แถ แต’สณแต‰แถœแตƒหขแต— แถ แต’สณ แต—แต’แตˆแตƒสธ - หกแต’แต—หข แต’แถ  หขแตƒหกแต— ใƒฝเผผเบˆู„อœเบˆเผฝ๏พ‰โ˜‚ ใƒฝ๏ฝ€ใƒฝ๏ฝ€ใ€ใƒฝใƒฝ๏ฝ€ใƒฝ๏ฝ€ใ€๏ฝ€ใƒฝ๏ฝ€ใ€ใƒฝใƒฝ๏ฝ€
twitch chat
January 2019

salty

Text-to-Speech Playing