[Copypasta] What if TF2 injuries were more realistic?

Just imagine: You are playing 2fort as RED team and pick heavy, you get out of spawn when suddenly a Pyro with the Homewrecker hits you square on the head. Your Heavy falls down and makes a weird snoring sound and has a nasty gash in his head with clear fluid running out of his ears. Then for like 30 minutes the screen goes black and you hear Heavy being transported into an ambulance. After the 30 mins Heavy opens his eyes a little. It looks like hes in the ICU and is currently getting artificially ventilated. Then the screen goes black again for 3 days until Heavy opens his eyes a little to see a woman, presumably heavys wife, crying beside his bed. She says something but it seems like Heavy doesnt understand anything she is saying, only thing you clearly make out is "permanent brain damage" and how sorry she is for never talking you out of your Mercenary profession. Then the screen goes black for another 5 months with some short times of conciousness inbetween until you see the same woman with 2 kids talking to your doctor in the ICU. All you can make out is that they decided to end your suffering and pull the plug. The last thing you see is heavys eyes closing, until you suddenly respawn in RED Spawn.
January 2021
Waiting for adblock to be disabled
More Copypastas

Unimpressed Squidward

β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β’€β£€β‘€β  β €β €β£€β£€β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β € β €β €β €β €β£€β’€β‘’β ‰β β €β ’β’‚β‘€β €β €β €β ˆβ ‰β£’β €β£€β €β €β €β € β €β €β£ β Ύβ …β ˆβ €β ™β €β €β €β ˆβ €β €β’€β£€β£“β‘€β ‰β €β ¬β •β’„β €β € β €β£°β β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β’€β‘€β Άβ’¦β‘€β ‘β €β €β €β €β ˆβ’§β € ⠀⑇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⒀⣀⣀⣀⣀⑀⒀⣀⣀⠙⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀Ⓒ⑄ β €β’Ήβ‘€β €β €β €β €β‘œβ β €β €β ™β‘΄β β €β €β ±β‘„β €β €β €β €β €β£Έβ € ⠀⠀⠱⒄⑀⠀⒰⣁⣒⣒⣂⣰⣃⣀⣒⣒⣂⒣⠀⠀⠀⒀⑴⠁⠀ β €β €β €β €β ™β ²β’Όβ‘€β €β ™β €β’ β‘‡β €β ›β €β €β£Œβ£€β‘€β –β ‰β €β €β € β €β €β €β €β €β €β’Έβ‘—β’„β£€β‘ β Šβ ˆβ’¦β£€β£€β ”β‘β €β €β €β €β €β €β € β €β €β €β €β €β €β ˆβ‘‡β €β’°β β €β €β €β’£β €β €β£·β €β €β €β €β €β €β € β €β €β €β €β£ β ”β Šβ ‰β β‘β €β €β €β €β ˜β‘†β €β Ώβ£„β£€β €β €β €β €β € β €β €β €β €β£§β Έβ ’β£šβ‘©β‘‡β €β €β €β €β €β£β£™β ’β’΄β ˆβ‘‡β €β €β €β € β €β €β €β €β ˆβ ‹β ‰β €β €β’³β‘€β €β €β €β£Έβ β ˆβ ‰β “β šβ β €β €β €β € β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β ‰β “β ›β ›
August 2021

LS aka "Lost Sailor" is a navigator turned caster who hails from Antartica

twitchquotes: LS aka "Lost Sailor" is a navigator turned caster who hails from Antartica, having been lost at sea due to his lack of geographical knowledge as well as his lack of map awareness and ending up in the region known for their excellent ARAM skills and elderly pro players. He is specifically known for his knowledge about "freezing" and one-tricking Volibear in level 25 draft pick. He states: "I had to shove the wave and ended up in NA. If we hadn't anchored I wouldn't be hardstuck in the fucking atlantic sea" and "No, my pathing wasn't bad, if the captain had listened to me we could've denied 3 waves". He can be found sailing the bottom of solo-queue just like he almost sailed the bottom of the sea.
twitch chat
September 2020
imls

League of Legends

Doug Dimmadome, owner of the Dimmsdale Dimmadome

My name is Doug Dimmadome, owner of the Dimmsdale Dimmadome! Doug Dimmadome, owner of the Dimmsdale Dimmadome? That’s right, Doug Dimmadome, owner of the Dimmsdale Dimmadome!
April 2021

Pikachu eyes

β™‚β™€β™‚β™€β™‚β™€β™‚β™€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–„β–„β™‚β™€β™‚β™€β™‚β™€β™‚β™€β™‚β™€β™‚β™€β™‚β™€β–„β–ˆ β™€β™‚β™€β™‚β™€β™‚β™€β™‚β™€β™‚β–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β™‚β™€β™‚β™€β–„β–„β–€β–€β–ˆ β™‚β™€β™‚β–„β™‚β™€β™‚β™€β™‚β™€β™‚β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–€β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–„β–€ ♀▄▀░▀▄♀♂♀♂♀♂▀▄░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░▀▄▀ β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ™€β™‚β™€β™‚β™€β™‚β–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆ β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β™‚β™€β™‚β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ πŸ‘οΈ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ πŸ‘οΈ β–ˆ β™‚β™€β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β™‚β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–‘β–‘β–„β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–‘β–ˆ β™€β™‚β™€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–„β–€β™€β™‚β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–‘β–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–„β–€ β™‚β™€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ™€β™‚β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„
September 2018

Pokemon

THERE'S TOO MUCH SALT

twitchquotes: (╬ ΰ² η›Šΰ² ) IM GETTING ANGRY THERES TOO MUCH SALT (╬ ΰ² η›Šΰ² )
twitch chat
December 2014
Reynad
Text-to-Speech Playing