[Copypasta] What if TF2 injuries were more realistic?

Just imagine: You are playing 2fort as RED team and pick heavy, you get out of spawn when suddenly a Pyro with the Homewrecker hits you square on the head. Your Heavy falls down and makes a weird snoring sound and has a nasty gash in his head with clear fluid running out of his ears. Then for like 30 minutes the screen goes black and you hear Heavy being transported into an ambulance. After the 30 mins Heavy opens his eyes a little. It looks like hes in the ICU and is currently getting artificially ventilated. Then the screen goes black again for 3 days until Heavy opens his eyes a little to see a woman, presumably heavys wife, crying beside his bed. She says something but it seems like Heavy doesnt understand anything she is saying, only thing you clearly make out is "permanent brain damage" and how sorry she is for never talking you out of your Mercenary profession. Then the screen goes black for another 5 months with some short times of conciousness inbetween until you see the same woman with 2 kids talking to your doctor in the ICU. All you can make out is that they decided to end your suffering and pull the plug. The last thing you see is heavys eyes closing, until you suddenly respawn in RED Spawn.
January 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Hey Kripp, how's it going, Hero Academy 2 Dev here

twitchquotes: Hey Kripp, how's it going, Hero Academy 2 Dev here. We noticed that your salty streams are interesting and entertaining. To fix this issue, we have decided to offer you money to play our very uninteresting and boring card game that is clearly a clone of Hearthstone. We look forward to future business with you and hope that you can sellout out a little bit more in the future. ResidentSleeper
twitch chat
March 2018
Kripp

Hearthstone

salty

Fapping to trap porn

twitch chat
July 2017

KappaPride

Please refrain from spamming anymore

twitchquotes: Chat, you do realize that your spam does not help my stream experience. It actually ruins it. I know it is hard to take in, but please refrain from spamming anymore. Do not make me repeat myself. I'm warning you chat.
twitch chat
September 2018

I hate Twitch Chat

I want to smash

twitchquotes: I want to smash. No, not sex, not even in a physical way. I want to sit down and play Super Smash Bros. Ultimate while laughing and having a good time. I want to play 1v1โ€™s. I want to play on your team against lvl. 3 CPUโ€™s. You can be Kirby. I can play Jigglypuff. No items.
twitch chat
February 2019

Super Smash Bros

Not your naked body

GG

โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ•—โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ•—โ–‘ โ–ˆโ–ˆโ•”โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ•”โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ–‘ โ–ˆโ–ˆโ•‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ•—โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ•‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ•—โ–‘ โ–ˆโ–ˆโ•‘โ–‘โ–‘โ•šโ–ˆโ–ˆโ•—โ–ˆโ–ˆโ•‘โ–‘โ–‘โ•šโ–ˆโ–ˆโ•— โ•šโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ•”โ•โ•šโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ•”โ• โ–‘โ•šโ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ–‘โ–‘โ•šโ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ–‘
January 2021
Text-to-Speech Playing