[Copypasta] What if TF2 injuries were more realistic?

Just imagine: You are playing 2fort as RED team and pick heavy, you get out of spawn when suddenly a Pyro with the Homewrecker hits you square on the head. Your Heavy falls down and makes a weird snoring sound and has a nasty gash in his head with clear fluid running out of his ears. Then for like 30 minutes the screen goes black and you hear Heavy being transported into an ambulance. After the 30 mins Heavy opens his eyes a little. It looks like hes in the ICU and is currently getting artificially ventilated. Then the screen goes black again for 3 days until Heavy opens his eyes a little to see a woman, presumably heavys wife, crying beside his bed. She says something but it seems like Heavy doesnt understand anything she is saying, only thing you clearly make out is "permanent brain damage" and how sorry she is for never talking you out of your Mercenary profession. Then the screen goes black for another 5 months with some short times of conciousness inbetween until you see the same woman with 2 kids talking to your doctor in the ICU. All you can make out is that they decided to end your suffering and pull the plug. The last thing you see is heavys eyes closing, until you suddenly respawn in RED Spawn.
January 2021
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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MORB

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Morbius

When well met, my eye automatically go to the paladin

twitchquotes: when well met, my eye automatically go to the paladin. i divine shield my dick and feel i have sex with  the recrui t. all becoming get down.
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Kripp

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Salt can

▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▄▄██████▄ ▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▄▄████████████▄ ▒▒▒▒▒▒▄▄██████████████████ ▒▒▒▄████▀▀▀██▀██▌███▀▀▀████ ▒▒▐▀████▌▀██▌▀▐█▌████▌█████▌ ▒▒█▒▒▀██▀▀▐█▐█▌█▌▀▀██▌██████ ▒▒█▒▒▒▒████████████████████▌ ▒▒▒▌▒▒▒▒█████░░░░░░░██████▀ ▒▒▒▀▄▓▓▓▒███░░░░░░█████▀▀ ▒▒▒▒▀░▓▓▒▐█████████▀▀▒ ▒▒▒▒▒░░▒▒▐█████▀▀▒▒▒▒▒▒ ▒▒░░░░░▀▀▀▀▀▀▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒ ▒▒▒░░░░░░░░▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒
November 2014

Missed lethal does not exist

twitchquotes: Missed lethal does not exist. It is all a well planned and intelligent BM. Now, BM is a very fragile subject. Some say it is bad, some say it is good. But only the best of the best BM kings know the truth. Putting your opponent on 1 health and ending turn is NOT missed lethal. Not using Grommash on explosive trap for lethal is NOT missed lethal. It is pure outplay and master-level BM. So, next time you spam 'MISSED LEGAL' in chat like retards, think again. Watch and learn kids, do as the masters.
twitch chat
February 2015
Forsen

Hearthstone

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