[Copypasta] What if TF2 injuries were more realistic?

Just imagine: You are playing 2fort as RED team and pick heavy, you get out of spawn when suddenly a Pyro with the Homewrecker hits you square on the head. Your Heavy falls down and makes a weird snoring sound and has a nasty gash in his head with clear fluid running out of his ears. Then for like 30 minutes the screen goes black and you hear Heavy being transported into an ambulance. After the 30 mins Heavy opens his eyes a little. It looks like hes in the ICU and is currently getting artificially ventilated. Then the screen goes black again for 3 days until Heavy opens his eyes a little to see a woman, presumably heavys wife, crying beside his bed. She says something but it seems like Heavy doesnt understand anything she is saying, only thing you clearly make out is "permanent brain damage" and how sorry she is for never talking you out of your Mercenary profession. Then the screen goes black for another 5 months with some short times of conciousness inbetween until you see the same woman with 2 kids talking to your doctor in the ICU. All you can make out is that they decided to end your suffering and pull the plug. The last thing you see is heavys eyes closing, until you suddenly respawn in RED Spawn.
January 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

hi im greek

twitchquotes: hi im greek... as you probably guessed in m name.. plz have respect for this comment and read on.. if ou don't like it plz dont hate. My economy is not going well and effing Germans are trying to take over so I need help. Bjerg promised for every subscriber 0.0000199 % money would go towards me. Thank you for my message and plz subscribe bjerg... he is the best and better ( not german even better!)
twitch chat
July 2014
Bjergsen

Does anyone here know what Suge Knight is?

I bought a whole bunch of Suge Knight Albums, do you know who Suge Knight is? Anybody know who Suge Knight is? No, not shungite, those stupid fuckin rocks that crazy antivaxxers buy. I'm talkin' Suge Knight. Anyways, he's a popular music executive, but now in prison because he murdered somebody. That's my story, I bought a whole bunch of albums. Put 'em around the la casa. Little records, stuff like that.
January 2022
DrDisRespectLIVE

Shungite

I hate Reddit's new avatars

They look so incomprehensibly fucking STUPID. WHO CAME UP WITH THEM? I liked the old avatars, they were simple and friendly. Now every time, EVERY. SINGLE. FUCKING. TIME. I look at someone's username, I see this ugly little shit, an abomination. Makes me almost fucking VOMIT. THEY LOOK SO DAMN STUPID I'M FUCKING TIRED OF KT. IT LOOKS LIKE AN ALIEN HAD SEX WITH A COCKROACH, THEN WORE SOME UGLY SHIRT AND PANTS. THE REDDIT CREATURE DUDES ARENT SUPPOSED TO BE WEARING THIS STUPID ABOMINABLD SHIT. I HATE it. I want to BURN IT WITH FIRE. Sadly you can't burn JPGs. BUT EVERY TIME I SEE ONE IT MAKES ME WANT TO CRY AT FUCKING SPEZ
September 2021

Reddit

BibleThump

โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–’โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘
November 2014

Mom, twitch chat is not a documentary on Nazis!

twitchquotes: ๏ผญ๏ฝ™ ๏ฝ๏ฝ๏ฝ ๏ฝŠ๏ฝ•๏ฝ“๏ฝ” ๏ฝ—๏ฝ๏ฝŒ๏ฝ‹๏ฝ…๏ฝ„ ๏ฝ‰๏ฝŽ๏ฝ”๏ฝ ๏ฝ๏ฝ™ ๏ฝ’๏ฝ๏ฝ๏ฝ ๏ฝ๏ฝŽ๏ฝ„ ๏ฝ๏ฝ“๏ฝ‹๏ฝ…๏ฝ„ ๏ฝ—๏ฝˆ๏ฝ™ ๏ผฉ ๏ฝ—๏ฝ๏ฝ“ ๏ฝ—๏ฝ๏ฝ”๏ฝƒ๏ฝˆ๏ฝ‰๏ฝŽ๏ฝ‡ ๏ฝ ๏ฝ„๏ฝ๏ฝƒ๏ฝ•๏ฝ๏ฝ…๏ฝŽ๏ฝ”๏ฝ๏ฝ’๏ฝ™ ๏ฝ๏ฝŽ ๏ผจ๏ฝ‰๏ฝ”๏ฝŒ๏ฝ…๏ฝ’๏ฝ“ ๏ฝ”๏ฝ๏ฝ ๏ฝ๏ฝ†๏ฝ†๏ฝ‰๏ฝƒ๏ฝ…๏ฝ’๏ฝ“๏ผŽ ๏ผฉ ๏ฝ”๏ฝ๏ฝŒ๏ฝ„ ๏ฝˆ๏ฝ…๏ฝ’ "๏ผฎ๏ฝ ๏ฝ๏ฝ๏ฝ ๏ฝ‰๏ฝ”๏ผ‡๏ฝ“ ๏ฝŠ๏ฝ•๏ฝ“๏ฝ” ๏ฝ”๏ฝ—๏ฝ‰๏ฝ”๏ฝƒ๏ฝˆ ๏ฝƒ๏ฝˆ๏ฝ๏ฝ” ๏ฝ๏ฝ๏ฝ„๏ฝ“" ๏ผณ๏ฝˆ๏ฝ… ๏ฝƒ๏ฝ๏ฝŒ๏ฝŒ๏ฝ…๏ฝ„ ๏ฝ๏ฝ… ๏ฝ ๏ผช๏ฝ…๏ฝ— ๏ฝˆ๏ฝ๏ฝ”๏ฝ…๏ฝ’ ๏ฝ๏ฝŽ๏ฝ„ ๏ฝ‚๏ฝ•๏ฝ’๏ฝŽ๏ฝ…๏ฝ„ ๏ฝ ๏ผณ๏ฝ—๏ฝ๏ฝ“๏ฝ”๏ฝ‰๏ฝ‹๏ฝ ๏ฝ‰๏ฝŽ๏ฝ”๏ฝ ๏ฝ๏ฝ™ ๏ฝ†๏ฝ๏ฝ’๏ฝ…๏ฝˆ๏ฝ…๏ฝ๏ฝ„๏ผŽ
twitch chat
August 2014
Trump
Text-to-Speech Playing