[Copypasta] What if TF2 injuries were more realistic?

Just imagine: You are playing 2fort as RED team and pick heavy, you get out of spawn when suddenly a Pyro with the Homewrecker hits you square on the head. Your Heavy falls down and makes a weird snoring sound and has a nasty gash in his head with clear fluid running out of his ears. Then for like 30 minutes the screen goes black and you hear Heavy being transported into an ambulance. After the 30 mins Heavy opens his eyes a little. It looks like hes in the ICU and is currently getting artificially ventilated. Then the screen goes black again for 3 days until Heavy opens his eyes a little to see a woman, presumably heavys wife, crying beside his bed. She says something but it seems like Heavy doesnt understand anything she is saying, only thing you clearly make out is "permanent brain damage" and how sorry she is for never talking you out of your Mercenary profession. Then the screen goes black for another 5 months with some short times of conciousness inbetween until you see the same woman with 2 kids talking to your doctor in the ICU. All you can make out is that they decided to end your suffering and pull the plug. The last thing you see is heavys eyes closing, until you suddenly respawn in RED Spawn.
January 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Is there an anime character stronger than Imaqtpie?

twitchquotes: @Imaqtpie, Is there an anime character stronger than Imaqtpie? And Iโ€™m referring to TWITCH TV Imaqtpie with the Eternal and many PJSALT (with the REDDIT MEME ability) equipped with his 4-20 Heimerdonger and control over Jhin and Lucian, a completely monochrome screen, with Faker's DNA implanted in his chest so he can masterfully type /ff, demoted to D3 as well as being extremely skilled in League of legend
twitch chat
August 2016
imaqtpie

League of Legends

Meeting Kripp at the urinals

twitchquotes: hey "kripp" we met at the urinals at the taco bell in LA..i asked you if i could shake your donger and you never responded...please confirm and we can meet again thanks
twitch chat
July 2014
Kripp

hablo espaneo

twitchquotes: helo fabby i am hablo espaneo i come from mexican i am liking your curse videos. after i am watching your streaming video i am strong enough to shoot father hablo with crossing bow. learning tumble and fight dragon. i now in jail watching stream with dyrus on big tv. no copy pasterino macachino banerinio spamino. thank u
twitch chat
July 2014
Dyrus

Minion Joker

โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–€โ–€โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ–€โ–€โ–„ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ–ˆ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ–ˆ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ–ˆ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ–ˆ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ•โ•โ•โ•โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ•โ•โ•โ•โ–ˆ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ•โ•โ•โ•โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ•โ•โ•โ•โ–ˆ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ–ˆ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ•โ–ˆโ–„โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ–„โ–ˆโ•โ–ˆ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ•โ•โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ•โ•โ–ˆ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ•โ•โ•โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ•โ•โ•โ–ˆ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ•โ•โ•โ•โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ•โ•โ•โ•โ–ˆ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ–ˆ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ–ˆ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ–โ–“โ–“โ–Œ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–โ–โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ–Œ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ•โ•โ–โ–“โ–„โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–„โ–“โ–Œโ•โ•โ–ˆ โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ•โ•โ–Œโ•โ–โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ•โ–โ•โ•โ–ˆ โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ•โ•โ–ˆโ•โ–โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ•โ–ˆโ•โ•โ–ˆ โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ•โ•โ–ˆโ•โ–โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–Œโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ•โ–ˆโ•โ•โ–ˆ โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ•โ•โ–ˆโ•โ–โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ•โ–ˆโ•โ•โ–ˆ โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ•โ•โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ•โ•โ–ˆ โ”€โ–„โ–ˆโ•โ•โ–ˆโ–โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ–ˆโ•โ•โ–ˆโ–„ โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ โ”€โ”€โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ–โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ–โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–Œ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ”€โ”€โ–โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–Œ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€
September 2021

The LoL player couldn't deny

twitchquotes: A Dota player and a LoL player walks into a bar. The Dota gamer turns around to the LoL gamer saying, "LoL sucks!" The LoL player couldn't deny. BrokeBack
twitch chat
March 2016

Dota 2

Text-to-Speech Playing