[Copypasta] What if TF2 injuries were more realistic?

Just imagine: You are playing 2fort as RED team and pick heavy, you get out of spawn when suddenly a Pyro with the Homewrecker hits you square on the head. Your Heavy falls down and makes a weird snoring sound and has a nasty gash in his head with clear fluid running out of his ears. Then for like 30 minutes the screen goes black and you hear Heavy being transported into an ambulance. After the 30 mins Heavy opens his eyes a little. It looks like hes in the ICU and is currently getting artificially ventilated. Then the screen goes black again for 3 days until Heavy opens his eyes a little to see a woman, presumably heavys wife, crying beside his bed. She says something but it seems like Heavy doesnt understand anything she is saying, only thing you clearly make out is "permanent brain damage" and how sorry she is for never talking you out of your Mercenary profession. Then the screen goes black for another 5 months with some short times of conciousness inbetween until you see the same woman with 2 kids talking to your doctor in the ICU. All you can make out is that they decided to end your suffering and pull the plug. The last thing you see is heavys eyes closing, until you suddenly respawn in RED Spawn.
January 2021
I used to be a real ad
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Summit i am a chicken from cs go

twitchquotes: Summit i am a chicken from cs go ... i barely survived inferno ... i just want you and ur friends stop killlin my chickens or im gonna peck the sh1t out of you .My dream is to travel from A sight to B at my friend horse near construction without getting hurt together with my chicks and u always ruin it... please copy paste and stop this madness , let a chicken cross inferno my brothers
twitch chat
April 2016
Summt1g

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Anyone here frawum arizona?

twitchquotes: Anyone here frawum arizona ? KKona Ay recently done caught my ferst alligataw KKona gosh darn it. that there thing done had ovuurr 3 meters in lenght KKona gawd damn rascal kkona
twitch chat
April 2020

How traders politely decline the second date

I discovered recently if I am on a date and I’m not that interested in a second, all I need to do is start talking about my stocks. They won’t ask for another one then, I won’t have to politely decline.
December 2021

WallStreetBets

Keepo

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November 2014

Leifman is part of the Third Reich

twitchquotes: ο½—ο½ˆο½…ο½Ž ο½Œο½…ο½‰ο½†ο½ο½ο½Ž mod ο½”ο½ˆο½… ο½ƒο½ˆο½ο½” ο½ο½•ο½”ο½ο½ο½ο½”ο½‰ο½ƒο½ο½Œο½Œο½™ go to ο½’οΌ™ο½‹οΌŽ ο½Œο½…ο½‰ο½†ο½ο½ο½Ž ο½„ο½…ο½Œο½…ο½”ο½… ο½”ο½ˆο½… pasta ο½ο½Žο½„ ο½†ο½…ο½…ο½Œ ο½ˆο½… is ο½ο½Žο½… ο½—ο½‰ο½”ο½ˆ ο½”ο½ˆο½… ο½ο½„ο½ο½Œο½†οΌŽ all ο½‚ο½…ο½ƒο½ο½ο½‰ο½Žο½‡ ο½”ο½ˆο½‰ο½’ο½„ ο½’ο½…ο½‰ο½ƒο½ˆοΌŽΕΎ
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing