[Copypasta] What if TF2 injuries were more realistic?

Just imagine: You are playing 2fort as RED team and pick heavy, you get out of spawn when suddenly a Pyro with the Homewrecker hits you square on the head. Your Heavy falls down and makes a weird snoring sound and has a nasty gash in his head with clear fluid running out of his ears. Then for like 30 minutes the screen goes black and you hear Heavy being transported into an ambulance. After the 30 mins Heavy opens his eyes a little. It looks like hes in the ICU and is currently getting artificially ventilated. Then the screen goes black again for 3 days until Heavy opens his eyes a little to see a woman, presumably heavys wife, crying beside his bed. She says something but it seems like Heavy doesnt understand anything she is saying, only thing you clearly make out is "permanent brain damage" and how sorry she is for never talking you out of your Mercenary profession. Then the screen goes black for another 5 months with some short times of conciousness inbetween until you see the same woman with 2 kids talking to your doctor in the ICU. All you can make out is that they decided to end your suffering and pull the plug. The last thing you see is heavys eyes closing, until you suddenly respawn in RED Spawn.
January 2021
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Kripp whines some more...

twitchquotes: แด›แดกษชแด›แด„สœษชษดษข แดษด แด›สœแด‡ า“สŸแดแดส€, Kส€ษชแด˜แด˜ แดกสœษชsแด˜แด‡ส€แด‡แด…, "Hแด‡ แด›แดแด˜แด…แด‡แด„แด‹แด‡แด… แด›สœแด‡ แดษดสŸส แด„แด€ส€แด… แด›สœแด€แด› แด„แดแดœสŸแด… ส™แด‡แด€แด›... แดแด‡...
twitch chat
August 2014
Kripp

Ram Ranch Hearthstone

twitchquotes: Jebaited 22 Murlocs in the PJSalt at Tavern Brawl! Big hard mind blasts wanting to be RENOUNCED! 22 Armorsmiths wanting to be pinged! Holy Novas in the PJSalt at Tavern Brawl! On their haHAA wanting to topdeck Krippo salt! Tavern Brawl really rocks! Jebaited
twitch chat
October 2016
Kripp

Hearthstone

You have been gifted the Golden Kappa!

twitchquotes: โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€” imGlitch You have been gifted the Golden Kappa!โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”
twitch chat
January 2017

Classic

Troll face kid

โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–„ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–Œโ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€ โ–‘โ–โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ–„โ–€โ–„ โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–€ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–„โ–โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–„ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–ˆ
ascii art
March 2021

This the leader of all Greek people, John Stamos

twitchquotes: Dear Kripp, this is the leader of all Greek people, John Stamos. It is with great pain that I have to ask you to leave my country. Everyone is afraid of the "very casual looking man" with the "perverted fists." I am sorry but you're not welcome here anymore. No Copopolous Pastopolous Linguinoristopoulos
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp
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