[Copypasta] What if TF2 injuries were more realistic?

Just imagine: You are playing 2fort as RED team and pick heavy, you get out of spawn when suddenly a Pyro with the Homewrecker hits you square on the head. Your Heavy falls down and makes a weird snoring sound and has a nasty gash in his head with clear fluid running out of his ears. Then for like 30 minutes the screen goes black and you hear Heavy being transported into an ambulance. After the 30 mins Heavy opens his eyes a little. It looks like hes in the ICU and is currently getting artificially ventilated. Then the screen goes black again for 3 days until Heavy opens his eyes a little to see a woman, presumably heavys wife, crying beside his bed. She says something but it seems like Heavy doesnt understand anything she is saying, only thing you clearly make out is "permanent brain damage" and how sorry she is for never talking you out of your Mercenary profession. Then the screen goes black for another 5 months with some short times of conciousness inbetween until you see the same woman with 2 kids talking to your doctor in the ICU. All you can make out is that they decided to end your suffering and pull the plug. The last thing you see is heavys eyes closing, until you suddenly respawn in RED Spawn.
January 2021
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

What the hell are both of these teams doing?

twitchquotes: What the hell are both of these teams doing? I'm in bronze and I could compete better than all of the players in this tournament. I can't believe I'm being held back by my teammates this bad. Any orgs feel free to DM me.
twitch chat
June 2021

Valorant

When I was 13, I came out to my parents as a Morbius male.

When i was 13, i came out to my parents as a morbius male. They couldnt accept my morbality, so they sent me off to camp. They just didnt understandβ€” i was morbed that way. At the camp, they gave us electromorb therapy to morb us into beta males. I resisted the treatment, being a morbius male, you cant morb me out of being morbed. I fooled the counselors into thinking they had successfully morbed be into a beta male, and i returned home. To this day, i live a double lifeβ€” one for my parents, who still cannot accept morbality, and one where its always morbin time.
June 2022

Morbius

I need help typing

twitchquotes: i need help typing, im new to the americas and i dont know how to english very well can someone help me? pleasew stop spamming chat so i can learn please....without this i wont pass my english class iand ill get deported please...
twitch chat
November 2014
TidesOfTime

This new spam is too spicy for this casual chat

twitchquotes: tbSpicy THIS tbSpicy NEW tbSpicy SPAM tbSpicy IS tbSpicy TOO tbSpicy SPICY tbSpicy FOR tbSpicy tbSpicy THIS tbSpicy CASUAL tbSpicy CHAT tbSpicy DONT tbSpicy YOU tbSpicy DARE tbSpicy COPY tbSpicy IT tbSpicy
twitch chat
September 2015
Kripp

Rooster

β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–’β–’β–’β–’β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–Œβ–’β–’β–β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–‘β—β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–€β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–€β–€β–„β–„ β–‘β–‘β–β–‘β–‘β–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–„β–ˆβ–€ β–‘β–‘β–β–„β–„β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–€β–€β–€β–€β–„ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–’β–’β–€β–€β–€β–€β–„β–€β–‘β–„β–€β–‘β–„β–„β–„β–€β–€ ░░░░▐░░░░▐▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▀▀▄░░▀▄▄▄░▄ ░░░░▐░░░░▐▄▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▀▄░▄▄▀▀ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–€β–„ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–€β–„ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–€β–€β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–Œβ–‘β–Œβ–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–Œβ–Œβ–„β–Œβ–Œ
February 2017
Text-to-Speech Playing