[Copypasta] What if TF2 injuries were more realistic?

Just imagine: You are playing 2fort as RED team and pick heavy, you get out of spawn when suddenly a Pyro with the Homewrecker hits you square on the head. Your Heavy falls down and makes a weird snoring sound and has a nasty gash in his head with clear fluid running out of his ears. Then for like 30 minutes the screen goes black and you hear Heavy being transported into an ambulance. After the 30 mins Heavy opens his eyes a little. It looks like hes in the ICU and is currently getting artificially ventilated. Then the screen goes black again for 3 days until Heavy opens his eyes a little to see a woman, presumably heavys wife, crying beside his bed. She says something but it seems like Heavy doesnt understand anything she is saying, only thing you clearly make out is "permanent brain damage" and how sorry she is for never talking you out of your Mercenary profession. Then the screen goes black for another 5 months with some short times of conciousness inbetween until you see the same woman with 2 kids talking to your doctor in the ICU. All you can make out is that they decided to end your suffering and pull the plug. The last thing you see is heavys eyes closing, until you suddenly respawn in RED Spawn.
January 2021
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

Vegan prison

twitchquotes: Attention Kripp: As a friendly vegan lawyer, you need to inform chat this is 100% sellout stream. If you want to stay away from vegan prison where meat is stuffed into all new inmates, inform chat now.
twitch chat
July 2017
Kripp

Amazed Face

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August 2018

Having a son might be more cucked than a daughter

Atleast by having a daughter you can guarantee your bloodline. Plus its a fact that daughters are more biologically inclined to love and respect their fathers. Those whores you see on the internet all suffer from daddy issues aka absent father. A daughter with a present father usually turns out ok. I say its more cucked because biologically mothers are closest to their sons. Now imagine this. You and your wife are older and she thinks you can't satisfy her anymore, then she views pretty much a younger healthier version of you in their son. Now imagine being cucked by your own son, that shit has to be insanely brutal. Atleast wiith your daughter you can get some action, but with your son you cant plus you risk being cucked. Daughters in their younger years always prefer being around their dads. Which is why i say daughter>son. Plus daughters are usually more agreeable with their fathers unlike sons who want to bash heads to show who is the alpha in the household.
June 2021

NSFW

Kirby

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣴⣶⣀⣀⣶⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡠⣔⠮⠍⠛⠒⠒⠒⠚⠠⠽⣉⠙⠻⢿⣿⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⡂⠕⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⠢⢀⡹⠛⠋⠑⡄⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⣀⣀⣠⣼⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠜⠑⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⠊⠀⠀⠀⠀⣷⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠀⠀⠀⢸⠉⢆⠀⠀⢸⣀⣸⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⡏⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠸⣄⣸⡆⠀⠈⢿⣿⣿⠀⣠⣴⣶⣶⡄⠀⢀⣤⣾⣇⣀⣀⡀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣄⠀⠀⠀⢻⣿⣿⠀⠀⠈⠻⡿⠀⠘⠛⠛⠋⠁⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡿⢿⣿⣿⣷⢀⣀⠀⠻⠿⢀⣴⣶⣶⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣦⣤⠛⣿⣿⣿⡿⠃⠀⠀⠹⣿⣿⣿⠇⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡈⣿⣿⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠃ ⠉⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣷⢦⣄⣀⡀⠤⣤⣤⣀⣀⣬⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢠⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣭⣷⣶⣿⣿⡿⠿⠟⠋⠁⠉⠛⠛⠿⠋⠁
December 2019

Duck with cap

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⣉⡥⠶⢶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣆⠉⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢡⡞⠁⠀⠀⠤⠈⠿⠿⠿⠿⣿⠀⢻⣦⡈⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠘⡁⠀⢀⣀⣀⣀⣈⣁⣐⡒⠢⢤⡈⠛⢿⡄⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⢀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣄⠉⠐⠄⡈⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢿⣿⣿⣿⠁⢈⣿⡄⠀⢀⣀⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⣡⣶⣶⣬⣭⣥⣴⠀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣶⣾⣿⣧⠀⣼⣿⣷⣌⡻⢿⣿ ⣿⣿⠟⣋⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠄⢻ ⡏⠰⢾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⢂⣭⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⠘⠛⠛⢉⣉⣠⣴⣾ ⣿⣷⣦⣬⣍⣉⣉⣛⣛⣉⠉⣤⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⡘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
December 2021
Text-to-Speech Playing