[Copypasta] What if TF2 injuries were more realistic?

Just imagine: You are playing 2fort as RED team and pick heavy, you get out of spawn when suddenly a Pyro with the Homewrecker hits you square on the head. Your Heavy falls down and makes a weird snoring sound and has a nasty gash in his head with clear fluid running out of his ears. Then for like 30 minutes the screen goes black and you hear Heavy being transported into an ambulance. After the 30 mins Heavy opens his eyes a little. It looks like hes in the ICU and is currently getting artificially ventilated. Then the screen goes black again for 3 days until Heavy opens his eyes a little to see a woman, presumably heavys wife, crying beside his bed. She says something but it seems like Heavy doesnt understand anything she is saying, only thing you clearly make out is "permanent brain damage" and how sorry she is for never talking you out of your Mercenary profession. Then the screen goes black for another 5 months with some short times of conciousness inbetween until you see the same woman with 2 kids talking to your doctor in the ICU. All you can make out is that they decided to end your suffering and pull the plug. The last thing you see is heavys eyes closing, until you suddenly respawn in RED Spawn.
January 2021
I used to be a real ad
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MagicAmy used VANISH

twitchquotes: MagicAmy PREP'd the scam, CONCEALED his identity, BETRAYED Reynad, SPRINTED with the money and used VANISH.
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February 2015
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You have been presented with superior intellect

twitchquotes: β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€” TwitchVotes You have been presented with superior intellect. Type 5Head to activateβ€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”
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March 2019

HassanChop

β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–„β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘ β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘ β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–ˆβ–‘ β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘ β–’β–€β–ˆβ–“β–„β–„β–€β–€β–€β–“β–’β–‘β–“β–€β–€β–“β–‘β–’β–‘ β–’β–’β–“β–’β–’β–’β–€β–€β–€β–€β–“β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–‘β–’β–‘ β–‘β–’β–“β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–“β–‘β–‘β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–‘ β–‘β–’β–“β–“β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–€β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–“β–’β–’β–€β–ˆβ–„β–’β–’β–„β–€β–’β–‘β–’β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–€β–“β–“β–’β–’β–€β–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–“β–’β–’β–‘β–’β–‘β–„β–“β–‘β–‘
April 2018

Tanner from Rome

twitchquotes: So you're going by "Octavian" now plebian? Haha what's up spurcifer, it's Tannerius from Rome. Remember me? Me and the other legionaries used to give a hard time. Sorry you were just an easy target. I can see not much has changed. Remember Seira, the girl you had a crush on? Yeah, she's my concubine now. I make over 200 sesterces a year and drive a quadriga chariot. I guess some things never change huh? Nice catching up. Patheticus.
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May 2019
Kripp

Classic

Tanner from High School

NA SPAMMING CHAT FROM AIRPORT KEKW

twitchquotes: NA SPAMMING CHAT FROM AIRPORT KEKW NA SPAMMING CHAT FROM AIRPORT KEKW NA SPAMMING CHAT FROM AIRPORT KEKW NA SPAMMING CHAT FROM AIRPORT KEKW NA SPAMMING CHAT FROM AIRPORT KEKW NA SPAMMING CHAT FROM AIRPORT KEKW
twitch chat
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Riot Games

League of Legends

EU vs NA

Text-to-Speech Playing