[Copypasta] You can't stop what's coming leafboy

You can't stop what's coming leafboy. I walk all over leaves every autumn, you think this year will be any different? Your flag is a fucking leaf. You chose the one part of the tree that dies every year. Not only that, but it's one of hundreds of leaves, thousands if it's a big tree. All dead come winter. Every winter. A vicious cycle. Totally insignificant. As soon as the tree has had it's way with you you are cast to the Earth to be trod by all other living things. Ants? They not only stomp about you, they will steal your corpse and use it for their people. Birds steal your lifeless shell with impunity. Leaves not only die once, but every year. A brave man dies only once, but leaves die a thousand deaths, or at least 20 or 30 if the tree lives that long. Perhaps more. Every year, leafs crunch beneath my boot. This year shall be no different. So it shall be written. So it shall be done. The day of the rake is at hand because every day is the day of the rake and has always been.
January 2021
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More Copypastas

F to pay McRespects

Ma'am, you may want to McSit™ down for this. We are deeply McSorry™ to inform you your husband has McPerished™ in the McLine™ of duty. He bravely led a McCharge™ against the Burger Emperor's Army™, and through his McBravery™ we were able to hold the McLine™ long enough for McReinforcements™ to arrive. Your husband is being awarded the Grimace Medal of McHonor™ for his McService™, and for his McBravery™ we will be sending you a complimentary Happy Meal™ as a token of appreciation. His service to the McMarine™ Corps will never be forgotten.
January 2021

I put sushi in my husband’s butthole while he was asleep

He was sleeping soundly naked, and I was eating leftover sushi. I couldn't help myself. I spread open his cheeks ever so softly, and tucked a slice of Philly roll right next to his puckered asshole. He did not wake up. When he awoke several hours later, he thought he had shit himself. I managed to video him discovering it was in his asshole, and I cannot stop watching him dig salmon, cream cheese, and rice out of his butthole. I also cannot stop laughing. I needed to tell someone.
May 2022

I'm laughing straight to da bank with this

twitchquotes: ι'м ℓαυgнιηg ѕтяαιgнт тσ ∂α вαηк ωιтн тнιѕ! ♪♪♪♪ нαω нαω нαω нααααω, нαω, нαω! ♪♪ » ♪♪ нαω нαω нαω нααααω, нαω, нαω! ♪♪» ♪♪нαω нαω нαω нααααω, нαω, нαω! ♪♪ ♪♪нαω нαω нαω нααααω, нαω, нαω! ♪♪ » ♪♪ нαω нαω нαω нααααω
twitch chat
April 2014
Trick2g

Kripp and G2A

twitchquotes: "I won't do it." says Kripp."You guys are rotten scammers selling stolen keys." The G2A dealer stands in the corner, face obscured by the shadows. "Are you sure?" he says with a toothy grin. Kripp nods. The G2A dealer steps out of the shadow, and Kripp is shocked to see it is none other than Scamaz. "I give the order, and Rania and Pupparian die. I've already taken Cattarian as punishment. Now sign the deal." Kripp sobs as he signs, and hopes his viewers will one day understand his plight.
twitch chat
July 2016
Kripp

Goku

⣿⣿⠿⠿⠿⠿⣿⣷⣂⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⢷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣷⡾⠯⠉⠉⠉⠉⠚⠑⠄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠻⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⠎⠄⠄⣀⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⠋⠉⠉⠉⠉⠭⠿⣿ ⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡇⠄⣠⣾⣳⠁⠄⠄⢺⡆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⣷⡦⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⠃⢰⣿⣯⣿⡁⢔⡒⣶⣯⡄⢀⢄⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣤⣶ ⠓⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠸⠄⢀⣤⢘⣿⣿⣷⣷⣿⠛⣾⣿⣿⣆⠾⣷⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣀⣼⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠑⢘⣿⢰⡟⣿⣿⣷⣫⣭⣿⣾⣿⣿⣴⠏⠄⠄⢀⣺⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠶⠄⠄⠄⠹⣮⣹⡘⠛⠿⣫⣾⣿⣿⣿⡇⠑⢤⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣯⣤⣤⣤⣤⣀⣀⡹⣿⣿⣷⣯⣽⣿⣿⡿⣋⣴⡀⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣝⡻⢿⣿⡿⠋⡒⣾⣿⣧⢰⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠃⣏⣟⣼⢋⡾⣿⣿⣿⣘⣔⠙⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⣛⡵⣻⠿⠟⠁⠛⠰⠿⢿⠿⡛⠉⠄⠄⢀⠄⠉⠉⢉ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢟⠩⠉⣠⣴⣶⢆⣴⡶⠿⠟⠛⠋⠉⠩⠄⠉⢀⠠⠂⠈⠄⠐⠄⠄⠄
August 2020
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