[Copypasta] You can't stop what's coming leafboy

You can't stop what's coming leafboy. I walk all over leaves every autumn, you think this year will be any different? Your flag is a fucking leaf. You chose the one part of the tree that dies every year. Not only that, but it's one of hundreds of leaves, thousands if it's a big tree. All dead come winter. Every winter. A vicious cycle. Totally insignificant. As soon as the tree has had it's way with you you are cast to the Earth to be trod by all other living things. Ants? They not only stomp about you, they will steal your corpse and use it for their people. Birds steal your lifeless shell with impunity. Leaves not only die once, but every year. A brave man dies only once, but leaves die a thousand deaths, or at least 20 or 30 if the tree lives that long. Perhaps more. Every year, leafs crunch beneath my boot. This year shall be no different. So it shall be written. So it shall be done. The day of the rake is at hand because every day is the day of the rake and has always been.
January 2021
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

Infinite Cum

Infinite cum. You sit on the toilet to jack off, but you begin to cum uncontrollably. After ten spurts you start to worry. Your hand is sticky and it reeks of semen. You desperately shove your dick into a wad of toilet paper, but that only makes your balls hurt. The cum accelerates. It’s been three minutes. You can’t stop cumming. Your bathroom floor is covered in a thin layer of baby fluid. You try to cum into the shower drain but it builds up too fast. You try the toilet. The cum is too thick to be flushed. You lock the bathroom door to prevent the cum from escaping. The air grows hot and humid from the cum. The cum accelerates. You slip and fall in your own sperm. The cum is now six inches deep, almost as long as your still-erect semen hose. Sprawled on your back, you begin to cum all over the ceiling. Globs of the sticky white fluid begin to fall like raindrops, giving you a facial with your own cum. The cum accelerates. You struggle to stand as the force of the cum begins to propel you backwards as if you were on a bukkake themed slip-and-slide. Still on your knees, the cum is now at chin height. To avoid drowning you open the bathroom door. The deluge of man juice reminds you of the Great Molasses Flood of 1919, only with cum instead of molasses. The cum accelerates. It’s been two hours. Your children and wife scream in terror as their bodies are engulfed by the snow-white sludge. Your youngest child goes under, with viscous bubbles and muffled cries rising from the goop. You plead to God to end your suffering. The cum accelerates. You squeeze your dick to stop the cum, but it begins to leak out of your asshole instead. You let go. The force of the cum tears your urethra open, leaving only a gaping hole in your crotch that spews semen. Your body picks up speed as it slides backwards along the cum. You smash through the wall, hurtling into the sky at thirty miles an hour. From a bird’s eye view you see your house is completely white. Your neighbor calls the cops. The cum accelerates. As you continue to ascend, you spot police cars racing towards your house. The cops pull out their guns and take aim, but stray loads of cum hit them in the eyes, blinding them. The cum accelerates. You are now at an altitude of 1000 feet. The SWAT team arrives. Military helicopters circle you. Hundreds of bullets pierce your body at once, yet you stay conscious. Your testicles have now grown into a substitute brain. The cum accelerates. It has been two days. With your body now destroyed, the cum begins to spray in all directions. You break the sound barrier. The government deploys fighter jets to chase you down, but the impact of your cum sends one plane crashing to the ground. The government decides to let you leave the earth. You feel your gonads start to burn up as you reach the edges of the atmosphere. You narrowly miss the ISS, giving it a new white paint job as you fly past. Physicists struggle to calculate your erratic trajectory. The cum accelerates. The cum begins to gravitate towards itself, forming a comet trail of semen. Astronomers begin calling you the “Cummet.” You are stuck in space forever, stripped of your body and senses, forced to endure an eternity of cumshots. Eventually, you stop thinking.
June 2021

Infinite Cum

You have just become intrigued as to what this spam is

twitchquotes: You have just become intrigued as to what this spam is, you go to the chat and scroll to hold it on the screen and indulge in its delights, as you continue to read you realize it does not contain anything funny or worth reading, and yet you highlight, copy it, paste it and send it.
twitch chat
November 2015

One off lethal

twitchquotes: Discovering his inner-passion for painting, Kripp leaves Twitch for good and takes Rania and Dex on the road with him to pursue his dream. After six months Kripp realizes being an artist is a lot harder than playing video games. But it’s too late. Homeless and starving, Rania hates Kripp, Dex hates Kripp, and, worst of all, Kripp hates Kripp. Buying a gun one rainy day, he puts it in his mouth and pulls the trigger. *click* He forgot to buy bullets. “One off lethal,” Rania sobs.
twitch chat
November 2018
Kripp

Among Us pick up lines

Thankful to have you as a crewmate… but do you want to add a letter and become screwmates instead? Hey, are you one of my tasks? Because I really want to do you. Hey, are you a vent? Because I’m the imposter and I’d love to come in you. I have a lot of tasks to complete still, but I’d love to do you first. Hey, call me the MedBay… because I’d love to scan your body. Figuring out the imposter is hard…. but I’ve got something harder. I’m jealous of your hat… Because it gets to be on you. Hey are you busy later? Because I’d love to explore your lower engine. Hey, you’re done your tasks right? Wanna come explore my cockpit then? If you’re the imposter, I’d love to be the vent… That way you can come inside me whenever you want. Damn, I wish you were a task… Because I’d have no problem doing you and over and over. Hey did you just kill me? Because I’ve got a big bone sticking out now…
April 2022

Among Us / Amogus

When Cybrix buys a Pepperoni pizza

twitchquotes: When Cybrix buys a Pepperoni pizza, its seen as a bit of greasy fun. BUT when Kripp orders a 420 GreaseMaster Pro 5000 garbage pizza pie with 6 different types of pepperoni, spiceified sauce with non-drip collection tray, together with optional built in Cheese crust, hes called Fattarrian
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp
More Copypastas
Text-to-Speech Playing