[Copypasta] I've never even watched The Simpsons

I am beyond fucking angry right now. As I type this message I can physically feel my muscles tensing and my blood pressure rising. Why the fuck would you call me a "simp"? I've never even fucking watched The Simpsons. Not one fucking episode. I hope you retract that statement, because i'd never refer to you as a dick for not watching Dick and Dom in da Bungalow.
December 2020
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

A physicist called Octavian

twitchquotes: The year is 2027. A physicist called Octavian has created the first inter-dimensional portal capable of exploring alternate galaxies. "Finally, I have done it..." he says as he steps into the portal. He enters a room where he sees himself giving a "Brofist" to his computer. His only reaction: " FailFish ".
twitch chat
April 2015
Kripp

Having a daughter is the ULTIMATE SIMP

As a man who has a daughter, you are LITERALLY dedicating at least 20 years of your life simply to raise a girl for another man to enjoy. It is the ULTIMATE AND FINAL SIMP. Think about it logically.
August 2021

Simps

Falls Guys with boobs

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣀⣤⣤⣤⣀⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⣶⣿⠿⣩⣵⣶⣶⣏⡠⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣴⣿⣿⡟⣴⡿⢿⣿⣿⢿⣷⡔⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⣿⣿⣿⡇⣿⣇⣈⣿⣿⣤⣽⣧⢰⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣬⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢃⣼⣿⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⢹⣿⣦⣤⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⢠⣾⡙⢋⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⣻⣿⣿⡿⣿⡿⢿⣿⣿⣮⣉⠋⠉⣿⣿⣶⣄⠄ ⣰⣿⣍⡩⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢉⣈⠙⢻⣿⣇⢹⡇⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠶⠈⢛⣿⣿⣧ ⢿⣿⣿⢱⡿⠋⠉⣿⣿⠁⠙⠉⠄⣸⣿⣿⢸⣧⡹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡀⠄⠈⠱⠾⠏ ⠈⠙⠛⠋⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⡈⣶⣶⣾⣿⣿⡇⣼⣿⣷⣭⠙⠿⠿⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣦⣝⣛⣫⣥⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢹⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⢻⣿⡏⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠉⠉⠄⠰⠿⠿⠿⠆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
January 2021

NSFW

OhMyDog

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠉⠉⠙⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⠿⢟⣠⣤⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣴⣤⡈⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠉⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⠀⠀⠻⢿⣿⣷⠀⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⠻⡿⠟⠛⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠁⠀⠀⠈⢿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢻⣿ ⣿⣿⡯⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿ ⣿⡿⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⢀⣤⣴⣿⣿⣆⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸ ⡿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⡄⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠀⠀⠀⢸ ⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣇⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡜⠀⠀⠀⣸ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀⢿⡿⠿⢛⣟⠀⢸⣿⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸ ⣷⣤⡀⣀⡀⣀⣴⣿⠀⠀⠘⣵⠀⣼⣏⢰⣾⠟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠹⣷⣿⣿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⣾⡁⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣼⣿⣿⣷⣦⣤⣤⣴⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣄⡀⠀⠀⣀⣤⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
September 2020

Szechuan sauce at McDonald's

"Hey, do you guys have szechuan sauce?", I ask the low IQ minimum wage slave. "N-no, sir. We just ran out", he muttered. I was overcome with a primal rage. I jump on the counter, screaming "I'm Pickle Rick!”. The 200 IQ crowd chanted in unison, “WUBBALUBBA DUB DUB” whilst beating their chests towards the cowering worker. I put my shirt over my head and let out the purest REEE to show my devotion to Rick. Everyone else REEEs as well. Yes, my brothers, let it all out. The manger comes in and calls the police, he doesn’t understand the mature and intellectual nature of our cries. We Naruto run to the next McDonalds store as we search endlessly for that sauce.
October 2017

Rick and Morty

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