[Copypasta] I've never even watched The Simpsons

I am beyond fucking angry right now. As I type this message I can physically feel my muscles tensing and my blood pressure rising. Why the fuck would you call me a "simp"? I've never even fucking watched The Simpsons. Not one fucking episode. I hope you retract that statement, because i'd never refer to you as a dick for not watching Dick and Dom in da Bungalow.
December 2020
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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Response to "go fuck yourself"

What if I'm already fucking myself? Behind this simple insult hides a universal paradox that may put your sexuality in question. Let's do a simple thought experiment: imagine us two standing in front of each other. I, of course, am wearing a pair of jeans, that are covering my genitals and my butt. You then command me to "go fuck myself". I may be fucking myself already. I may as well not be fucking myself already. Until my dick and its position relative to my ass is observed, it is simultaneously in my ass, but also outside of it - thus, it stays in superposition. The moment you lay eyes on my penis, both states collide with each other and become either one. You may have already guessed what the problem here is. As soon as a single photon reflected by my dick enters either one of your eyes, you become gay. The only way to avoid this is to not observe my penis. But if you don't look at it, then you will never know if your insult had any effect, thus rendering it meaningless. Since you have already made the insult, you are now, too, in superposition - you're either wrong, or gay. It's unfortunate, really - you dug a hole for yourself without even knowing it. All you can do now is accept it, and learn from your mistakes.
April 2020

Classic

Among Us in Real Life Full Lyrics

Among Us in real life (sus, sus) Among Us in real life (sus, sus) Playing Among Us in real life, spaceship with my crew Gonna split up, spread out 'cause we all got tasks to do Gotta find the imposter as they try to sabotage Who can we trust in this Among Us entourage? Heard a sound, turned around, looking up, looking down Then I find a dead body Gotta blow the horn, emergency discussion, who should we believe? Can't decide, so, now we leave, not sure what I'm about to see Will it be a dead body? Still have a task I must complete Who's the impostеr? Looking sus, who can we trust? Who's the imposter? Looking sus, who can wе trust? Who's the imposter? Looking sus, who can we trust? Who's the imposter? Looking sus, who can we trust? I'm a ghost, I'm my biggest fear, got killed by the imposter I was playing in the game, but now I'm just a watcher I'm paying attention using my 360 vision If it gets quiet, I listen Make sure there's nothing I'm missing Who's the imposter? Looking sus, who can we trust? Who's the imposter? Looking sus, who can we trust? Who's the imposter? Looking sus, who can we trust? Who's the imposter? Looking sus, who can we trust? It wasn't me (or me) It definitely wasn't me No one can be trusted because someone is lying We still have tasks to do, so, let's split up so we can win Everyone is sus so let this last round begin There's an imposter among us Trying to take something from us We're still over here working While she's just ghosting above us Someone's under suspicion Sabotaging our mission Doing my task in the kitchen Until I stop, look, and listen Who's the imposter? Looking sus, who can we trust? Who's the imposter? Looking sus, who can we trust? Who's the imposter? Looking sus, who can we trust? Who's the imposter? Looking sus, who can we trust? I'm the I-M-P-O-S-T-E-R, that's me While everyone's doing tasks, I'm going through vents on a killing spree Yeah, I'm sus in Among Us We can discuss whoever took your life But if you think you're running this game, oh-yeah That's me holding this knife I'm the imposter Looking sus, who can we trust? I'm the imposter Looking sus, who can we trust? I'm the imposter Looking sus, who can we trust? I'm the imposter
June 2021

Among Us / Amogus

Prove you aren't a mobile user

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August 2019

Rasputin

⡯⣫⢯⡫⣏⢯⢯⢯⢯⢯⣟⡿⠛⠉⠁⠐⣿⢿⣟⡿⣽⣻⣽⣟⣿⢿⣿⣿⣟⡿⣿⢽⣻⢽⡯⣟⡽⣯⣻⢽⢯⣻⢽⢽⢽⢽⢽⢽⢽⢽ ⡯⣺⣕⢯⢾⢽⢽⡽⣿⠛⠁⠄⢀⢀⠄⢅⢴⣿⢾⣽⣯⡿⠟⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⠠⠄⠈⠙⠿⣯⢿⣳⡯⣯⢟⡾⡽⡽⡽⡽⡽⡽⡽⣽ ⡯⣺⢮⢯⡳⡯⡷⡿⠃⢀⢔⢈⠐⠨⠨⢂⠩⣽⣿⣿⠏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⠄⠐⡐⡔⠄⠄⢀⠄⢈⠙⢯⣿⡽⣯⢯⢿⡽⣽⢽⢽⢽⢽⣽ ⣟⢮⡻⡮⡯⡿⣿⠄⠌⠂⠂⢀⠂⡄⢄⣔⣿⡿⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡀⢄⠠⣢⡖⠝⡂⢀⠄⠂⢀⠂⡂⠸⣿⣟⣿⢽⡽⣽⢽⢯⣟⣗⣿ ⣗⢯⢯⢯⣟⣽⡿⢀⠆⢀⠠⣐⠈⠎⠫⢈⡿⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠠⠄⠄⢀⠢⡝⡚⠁⠄⠄⠄⢂⠄⠄⠄⠄⠡⠘⢿⣻⣽⢯⣗⣟⣗⣗⡷⣽ ⡯⣫⡯⣗⡷⣿⡇⠄⢀⢀⠢⣣⢿⡿⣿⣿⠄⠄⢀⣿⡆⠄⠄⠐⢈⠐⠩⠂⢄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠔⠰⡠⠂⢈⠠⠈⣻⣿⣟⣷⣫⢾⣺⢽⣺ ⣯⡳⡯⣗⣟⡿⠄⢀⢔⣼⣾⡏⢢⢻⣽⣿⠄⠄⢈⣿⣧⠄⠄⣁⣠⣠⣴⣼⣿⣿⣿⣾⣦⣤⣁⠁⠂⠈⠄⠄⠄⠄⢻⣿⣷⣻⡽⣞⡯⣿ ⣗⢯⣻⡽⣾⡁⠄⣲⣵⣿⣿⢇⢱⠐⠐⠅⠃⠄⠐⢽⣿⡯⡸⣷⣿⣟⣾⡿⣿⣟⣿⢿⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢿⣿⡾⣯⣗⡯⣿ ⣯⢯⢷⣻⡿⠄⠄⡿⣿⢿⣽⣳⡝⡼⡸⡵⠄⠄⠤⣔⣽⢇⢗⡯⣷⣿⣷⡿⣟⡷⡽⡽⡽⣯⣿⣽⢿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⣿⣿⣷⣗⡯⣿ ⡯⣯⢿⣽⡇⠄⢔⣽⣿⣿⡿⣟⣜⢮⣻⣽⣷⣝⣿⣿⣿⠸⡽⣽⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⣳⣻⢽⡿⡿⡻⣽⣿⣿⣿⣇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⣿⣻⡾⣽⣻ ⣯⢷⣻⣽⠄⢌⣮⣿⣾⢿⣿⣗⡵⣳⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡗⢐⠠⠑⠙⠝⠺⢫⣿⣽⠨⠃⠁⢀⣀⠁⠑⢯⣿⣿⡆⠄⠄⠄⠄⢿⣿⢯⡷⣿ ⣿⣽⢯⡏⠄⠌⡞⣿⢺⣽⣿⡷⣟⡮⣿⢿⣽⣿⡿⠃⠄⠄⠢⡑⠜⡎⡆⢀⣿⣿⢿⡻⡑⢕⡺⣿⣫⣞⣾⣿⣿⠐⠄⠄⠄⢹⣿⡯⣯⣿ ⣿⣾⠟⠄⢀⢑⢬⣇⡫⣿⣿⣿⣽⣾⣽⢿⣿⡿⠁⠠⢡⢱⠰⡠⡑⠜⢐⢐⣽⣿⣿⣷⣧⢧⣻⣾⣯⣿⣿⣿⡟⠠⠄⠄⠄⢸⢿⣽⢷⣿ ⠟⣜⢄⢰⢨⠪⡕⡦⣏⢿⢽⡽⡷⣗⢯⠛⠁⠄⠄⠐⠈⡢⢑⠔⠌⠂⢐⢵⣿⣿⣿⡷⣿⡿⣷⢷⣿⣽⣿⡿⠁⡀⡂⣀⠄⣼⣿⣻⣽⣻ ⡕⣺⡢⡣⣕⣿⣜⣮⣶⣷⣟⣿⣺⣽⣁⣀⡀⠄⠄⠄⠂⠠⢑⠨⡈⢀⠠⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣳⡯⣻⢿⣻⣿⣿⠍⠂⠂⡣⣿⣿⡿⣾⣻⣺⣽ ⡧⣸⣝⣷⣻⣿⢿⣿⣿⢿⣿⡷⣿⣿⣿⣿⠹⡊⠄⠄⠐⢈⢐⠈⠄⠂⠄⠙⡻⡿⣯⡾⣿⣿⡿⣝⢿⣿⡇⠐⠄⠄⠂⣚⡺⣽⣽⢾⣻⣾ ⣿⢸⣟⣮⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⡍⣿⣿⣿⣯⢋⢂⠄⠈⡀⠄⠠⠄⢂⠐⡔⡸⢸⠂⠎⡌⡆⢔⢩⠠⠈⡻⢅⠁⠄⠄⠈⣔⢽⣳⡽⣽⣗⣿ ⢿⣸⣿⣿⣷⣷⣽⣿⣾⣻⣪⠇⢸⣿⣿⣿⢪⡀⠄⠄⠠⠄⡀⠐⡀⠄⠄⢠⢢⢐⡠⣂⢮⡮⠂⢕⠣⠡⡁⠄⡀⠄⠄⠆⣅⣷⣻⣳⣯⣿ ⠈⢾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⣯⠟⠁⠄⣿⣿⣿⣯⣗⠅⠄⢀⠐⢀⠄⡁⢀⠂⠍⡆⣖⢐⢐⣜⣞⣮⡳⠁⠨⠈⠌⡀⠄⠠⠈⣊⢮⣞⣾⣳⢷⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠉⠛⠛⠟⠋⠄⢀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⡺⠁⠠⠄⠐⢀⠁⠄⠄⠅⠣⡹⡳⢟⢿⢿⢿⢷⠐⠈⢀⠄⡂⠄⠠⠄⠠⠸⣿⣳⣷⣟⣯⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⢀⠄⠄⡀⠄⣼⣿⣿⡿⠛⠉⠈⠉⠄⡀⠂⡈⠔⠄⠂⢂⠁⠅⢁⢎⠄⠱⡁⡁⠈⡀⠄⠐⠄⠄⠄⠐⡠⢈⠠⠁⠄⢉⠛⢿⣿⣿
January 2021
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