[Copypasta] I've never even watched The Simpsons

I am beyond fucking angry right now. As I type this message I can physically feel my muscles tensing and my blood pressure rising. Why the fuck would you call me a "simp"? I've never even fucking watched The Simpsons. Not one fucking episode. I hope you retract that statement, because i'd never refer to you as a dick for not watching Dick and Dom in da Bungalow.
December 2020
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

heart been broke

heart πŸ’” been broke πŸ“‰ so many times ⏰ i don’t know πŸ€” what to believe πŸ’― mama πŸ‘©β€β€οΈβ€πŸ’‹β€πŸ‘© said πŸ—£ it’s my fault 😒 it’s my fault πŸ€¦πŸ»β€β™‚οΈi wear my heart ❀️ on my sleeve πŸ’ͺ i think it’s best πŸ‘πŸ» I put my heart ❀️ on ice 🧊
July 2020

Emoji Pasta

GET THE PEPPER OFF

I ain't never seen no mustard on that, but it might be good though, my dad would know better, boutta get him. Aww, mustard! Come on man, now don't put no mustard on that, you need to put a little season on that thing! WHAT! Man come on get that pepper off there! Come on, somebody come get this man! Come on now, come on get that pepper of there, that's just too much doggone pepper. I don't wanna see this no more! Oh, what happened oh. GOD! OH MY GOD! BOY WHY YOU PUTTING THAT PEPPER ON THERE?TAKE THAT OFF OF THERE. GET THE PEPPER OFF! ACHA!!
July 2021

I hate JoJo

I fucking hate JoJo. Every subreddit I go through has a vermin-like underclass of JoJo fanboys. They all just have to say β€œiS THat A JOJo ReFErEncE??!!!1” on every fucking post that contains a single word that may have been used in the shitty comics. Oh, a suspicious link? Probably a rickroll. NOPE!!! They’ve ruined that, too! One of the oldest goddamn internet traditions shat on and ruined by JoJo fanboys. Thunder Cross Split Attack! So fucking funny, right? I’m wheezing! NO. SHUT THE FUCK UP. Nobody cares about your shitty comic series. Dio is a stupid character from a stupid comic series. I downvote every post and comment that mentions JoJo, out of pure bloodcurdling rage. I want to detonate a MASSIVE thermonuclear warhead right on top of whatever godforsaken studio publishes that stinking-pile-of-trash comic. Frankly, I don’t even care for the civilian casualties, either. At least they died for a good reason. Unlike JoJo fans, I actually contribute to the betterment of mankind, instead of spamming shitty references on the internet. Every JoJo fan that dies a slow, painful death is a win in my book. I have claimed over a dozen of them already, too. I annihilated their skulls with my fists. Their stupid ice attack didn’t do shit for them either. They dies like they lived, pathetic excuses for humans. I hope more people hear my message and declare war on JoJo. If nobody helps me, I will do as much damage as I possibly can before I die. Thank you.
February 2021

JoJo's Bizarre Adventure

Space Invaders

β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–‘β–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–‘β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–‘β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–„β–€β–€β–„β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–„β–„β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–‘β–€β–‘β–‘β–€β–‘β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘
September 2021

"Boomer" is the n-word of ageism

twitchquotes: "Boomer" is the n-word of ageism. Being hip and flip does not make bigotry ok, nor is a derisive epithet acceptable because it is new.
twitch chat
November 2019
Text-to-Speech Playing