[Copypasta] I've never even watched The Simpsons

I am beyond fucking angry right now. As I type this message I can physically feel my muscles tensing and my blood pressure rising. Why the fuck would you call me a "simp"? I've never even fucking watched The Simpsons. Not one fucking episode. I hope you retract that statement, because i'd never refer to you as a dick for not watching Dick and Dom in da Bungalow.
December 2020
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

I sexually Identify as Fox McCloud

twitchquotes: I sexually Identify as Fox McCloud. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of defending my Melee Championship at EVO. People say to me that a person being Fox McCloud is Impossible and I’m fucking retarded but I don’t care, Mishun Complete. I’m having Mango inject me with tech skill and mindgames. From now on I want you guys to call me “Fox” and respect my right to shine and upsmash. If you can’t accept me you’re a spaciephobe and need to check your tierlist privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.
twitch chat
October 2016

Super Smash Bros

I sexually Identify as

So as joke, I fucked my friend in a Joseph Stalin cosplay

So as a joke, I went to my friend's house wearing Joseph Stalin's mustache and clothes. I could barely stop my laughter as he went as red as the Soviet flag and looked at me from head to toe with a bit of drool in his mouth. The way he stared made made feel a bit funny too, but I decided to tease him more by taking off my clothes. He asked me, "Are you serious?" and I said "Yes,comrade." He went silent for what seemed like forever, so I asked him, "What's the matter,comrade?" He said he's confused, but then his boner got really hard, which made me take off his clothes. I expected him to scream, "Stop!" as I kissed him and stroked his cock, but he instead shouted "Not a step back!" which made me get a boner myself. Before I knew it, I was blowing him for the first time till he came. His semen was so thick, it got stuck inside my throat no matter how hard I swallowed. He then said, "I want to fuck you now!" and seeing that we've already gone that far and we were both naked, I obliged. A few hours later, the jerk went all pale and said to me "Why did we do that? Now I'm not fucking straight." But he still looked so cute all confused like that, so I took pity on him and reassured while wiping his cum off my face, "Let's just pretend I'ms till Joseph Stalin."
September 2021

NSFW

Shots 1-5 clearly missed

Summary: Shots 1-5: Clearly missed. Shots 6-9: Missed due to recoil (bad spray control). Shots 10-11: Very close, but recoil and inaccuracy make these reasonable misses. Shot 12: Likely didn't actually fire because Hiko was already dead.
March 2021

CSGO

forsenLicense

⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⢋⣩⣤⣤⣤⣬⣭⣭⣭⣭⣉⣙⣛⣛⣛⣛⡛⠛⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡟⣡⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣌⠛⢿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⢡⡿⠛⠉⠩⣭⣉⣉⣉⣉⡛⠛⠛⠛⠻⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⣿⣶⠘⣿⣿ ⣿⡇⣼⠄⢨⣭⠄⠄⢹⣿⡿⢿⣿⣿⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⣰⣿⡟⠉⣴⡇⣿⣿⡄⣿⣿ ⣿⢀⡇⢠⠄⠄⡄⠄⣹⣟⠄⠄⠉⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⣼⣿⠋⣴⣿⣿⡇⣿⣿⡇⢸⣿ ⡏⠘⠁⣿⣧⣤⣤⣶⣿⠁⠄⠄⠄⠈⠑⠄⠄⢰⣿⠃⠄⣿⣿⣿⡇⣿⣿⣇⢸⣿ ⠄⠄⢰⣿⡿⢟⣿⣿⠅⠄⠄⠄⠠⣶⣤⣀⠄⠄⠁⠄⢀⣿⣿⣿⠁⠉⠉⠉⢸⣿ ⠄⠄⡼⢃⠰⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠏⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿ ⠄⠄⠁⢰⡶⠖⠈⠑⠒⠂⠄⠄⠄⠄⢢⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⡿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠐⠄⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠻⠿⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠉⠉⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠻ ⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣷⣤⡀⠄⠄⢀⣀⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣀⣀⡀⠄⠄⢀ ⣿⡟⠁⠄⠄⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⢠⣤⣤⣤⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣷⣤⣤⣤⣼⣿⣿⣿⣷⣀⣀⣀⣠⣿⣿⣿⣦⣄⣀⣀⣠⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
November 2021
Forsen

Emote

Arrogant globaphopic

twitchquotes: This offends me as a vegan transgender atheist who vapes and crossfits 4 times a week and im also a male feminist as I identify myself as a pastafarian apache helicopter dog mega multi combo god of hyper death and if you dont agree with me. You're an ignorant arrogant globaphobic sexist lesbian
twitch chat
May 2016
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