I am beyond fucking angry right now. As I type this message I can physically feel my muscles tensing and my blood pressure rising. Why the fuck would you call me a "simp"? I've never even fucking watched The Simpsons. Not one fucking episode. I hope you retract that statement, because i'd never refer to you as a dick for not watching Dick and Dom in da Bungalow.
(βΜΏΔΉΜ―ββ¬β΄β¬β΄ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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My son got kicked out of school
twitchquotes:
My son got kicked out of school for letting a girl jerk him off in class. That's three schools now. Maybe teaching isn't for him. 
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My wife told me to talk dirty to her
So the wife and I were getting into it and she told me to talk dirty to her. So I called her a filthy slut.
She said βdirtier!β So I smacked her around and told her I was going to use her like the cheap whore she is.
She said βdirtier!β So I said βIβm gonna stick some SQQQ in your portfolio. Iβm gonna put it in long and deep. Iβm gonna fill you up with way OTM SPY puts.β
She then slapped me, packed a bag and took the kids. I think weβre getting a divorce.
WallStreetBets
My opponent draws cards every turn BabyRage
twitchquotes:
MY OPPONENT DRAWS CARDS EVERY TURN
MY OPPONENT DRAWS CARDS EVERY TURN
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Kripp
Hearthstone
salty
neverlucky
The Black Rat, Rattus Rattus
twitchquotes:
The Black Rat, Rattus Rattus, was first described by Henrik Ahnberg in his 18th century work βA Dongβs guide to Dotaβ. An elusive and hardy creature, the rat excels at damaging structures and retreating at the first sign of danger, only to begin its attack anew once the threat has passed. Unlike many of his peers, Ahnberg greatly respected the rat, finding many of its features similar to his own. His love for the rat became so great that he soon left the world of men and descended into the sewers to live among the rats, eventually becoming their king.
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AdmiralBulldog
Dota 2
TWITCH RAIN
twitchquotes:
ββββββββββββββββββββββββ ββοΎ. * ο½₯ ｑοΎβοΎ. * TWITCH RAINοΎ ο½‘οΎβ. * ο½₯ ｑοΎββ ββββββββββββββββββββββββ 
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