[Copypasta] I've never even watched The Simpsons

I am beyond fucking angry right now. As I type this message I can physically feel my muscles tensing and my blood pressure rising. Why the fuck would you call me a "simp"? I've never even fucking watched The Simpsons. Not one fucking episode. I hope you retract that statement, because i'd never refer to you as a dick for not watching Dick and Dom in da Bungalow.
December 2020
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

forsenSanta

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣠⣤⣴⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⣴⣾⣿⡿⠿⠿⠛⠛⡛⣉⣉⣉⣩⣭⢥⡶⢒⣶⠖⣒⡤⢤⣄⡈⣩ ⠄⠄⠄⣼⡿⠛⣩⣤⣴⣶⣶⣶⣭⠛⠩⠁⠘⣾⣿⣿⣦⡄⠄⠥⢶⣤⣄⠘⢻⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⣠⣴⡿⠟⢛⡉⠉⠙⠛⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⢿⣿⣿⡋⠄⠄⠄⠉⠉⠛⠄⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⠘⠋⠁⠄⠄⠄⢠⠜⡛⠒⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢻⣿⣿⡇⠄⠐⠧⣀⡀⠄⠲⣾⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠠⠄⠔⠁⠈⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⢻⣿⣿⣦⣄⡐⠄⢘⣭⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠤⣀⡀⣀⣀⣴⣮⣶⣏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣤⣴⣶⡄⠈⡀⠘⣿⡿⣿⡯⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠲⢼⣿⣿⣛⠻⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡇⠰⣿⣶⣦⣤⣥⣤⣤⣤⣶⣶⣦⣤⣀⢀⣀⣉⣋⣏⡑⠄⠙⣿⢿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡿⠃⠘⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣦⣭⣬ ⠁⠄⢀⣠⣤⣶⣬⣭⣟⣛⣛⠋⠿⠿⠿⠛⠯⠥⠦⠝⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⢀⠴⢟⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⣤⣥⣬⣭⣽⣶⣶⣯⣥⣴⣭⣭⣭⣭ ⠄⢠⣿⢟⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠸⢱⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
November 2021
Forsen

Emote

Please don't copy paste or I might get fired

twitchquotes: Hey guys, Im a blizzard employee and I wanted to give all you fellow kripparians a sneak peak at one of our new GvG cards. It's called the coin- 0 mana and if you play it turn 1 as the first player, it randomly selects a player and they automatically win. Hope you are all excited for the new expansion, please don't copy paste or I might get fired.
twitch chat
November 2014
TidesOfTime

I’m struggling to accept religious people as human (/r/atheism parody)

This has been growing in me for a while, but the more I see what’s going on in africa and the middle east, and all the bullshit around the world in the name of religion, I’ve gotten to a point where I’m looking at all religious people as not even human. I don’t know if I quite see them as livestock or wild animals or whatever, but it’s pretty close to it. I still don’t understand why people say to respect other people’s religious beliefs. I certainly don’t. I actually think religious beliefs should be mocked, ripped apart, criticized relentlessly, and actually probably be made illegal. I hope to see a future where believers are looked at as mentally ill and mentally retarded, who need to be locked up and treated, or sent to jail. I’m just so disgusted by all of them.
June 2021

"touch grass" is not an insult towards gamers

"touch grass" is not an insult towards gamers, rather it is advice for them. When participating in intense periods of gaming, the human hand has a tendency to get sweaty. The sweat causes the hand to become slick, and it b becomes more difficult to retain a grip on the gamers gaming mouse, thus making it more difficult to perform well in intense gaming moments. By touching grass with the gamers hand, the grass will impart a layer of particulate onto the gamers hand, the particulate can be made of a variety of dusts, dirts and other natural matter. This particulate will then act in a similar form to climbers chalk, absorbing the sweat and drying out the gamers hand. With dry hands, the gamer can now perform to their maximum when gaming. This is why when an enemy or teammate tells you to touch grass, they are simply trying to assist you in performing better.
July 2021

Classic

Deez Nuts

⠀⠀⠀⣤⣤⣤⣤⣀⠀⠀⣤⣤⣤⣤⡄⠀⣤⣤⣤⣤⠀⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⣿⡇⠀⠈⢻⣧⠀⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⡾⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⣿⡇⠀⠀⢸⣿⠀⣿⡟⠛⠛⠀⠀⣿⠛⠛⠓⠀⠀⣠⡿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⣿⡇⢀⣀⣾⠏⠀⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⣴⡟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠛⠛⠛⠋⠁⠀⠀⠛⠛⠛⠛⠃⠀⠛⠛⠛⠛⠁⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⡄⠀⢸⣿⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀⠛⠛⢻⡟⠛⠋⣴⡟⠋⠛⠃ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠘⣿⡄⢸⣿⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⠙⢿⣦⣄⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀⠈⢿⣾⣿⠀⢸⣇⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢻⣷ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠿⠀⠀⠈⠿⠿⠀⠈⠻⠶⠶⠾⠋⠀⠀⠀⠸⠇⠀⠀⠻⠶⠶⠿⠃
April 2022
Text-to-Speech Playing