[Copypasta] I've never even watched The Simpsons

I am beyond fucking angry right now. As I type this message I can physically feel my muscles tensing and my blood pressure rising. Why the fuck would you call me a "simp"? I've never even fucking watched The Simpsons. Not one fucking episode. I hope you retract that statement, because i'd never refer to you as a dick for not watching Dick and Dom in da Bungalow.
December 2020
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

i start cracking bongland jokes inna bri'ish accent. Am I the asshole?

>hanging out with friend group >one guy facetimes some british slag he knows >i start cracking bongland jokes inna bri'ish accent >say she sounds like hermione >Make some joke about earl grey tea >she says, "ask this fuck'a how you even make earl grey tea >Say, "toss it in the boston harbor" >bongchick gets all pissed off >friend asks me to leave Am I the asshole?
June 2021

greentext

British People

POWERING UP PORTAL ONLINE

twitchquotes: <(-O-)> POWERING UP <(-O-)> PORTAL ONLINE
twitch chat
February 2015
Forsen

We The Sus Music changed my dad

So my dad is a raging homophobe. When I was 7 yrs old he nearly beat me to death for sleeping in the same bed as my friend in Minecraft. He overheard me listening to this song and burst into my room. I braced for impact, fearing the worst. Instead he remained silent and I saw this strange look in his eyes that I'd never seen before. He just divorced my mom and told us he is moving to Puerto Rico with his longtime partner Antonio Banderas and he's not coming back. Thank you We The Sus Music!
June 2021

My boss caught me watching a hottub streamer

Hey, quandale Pringle here, My boss caught me watching a hottub streamer during work and he squeezed my hog so hard and wouldn't even stop after I banned him. My brother Cornelius Bartholomew Anderson ringle got caught in an alberian twitch prime and bits scam and got sent to the gulag, but we've snuck him a Nokia 3310 in his ass with a spoon that he'll be using to plan a breakout with my cousin longsdale dimmsdimone slingle.
July 2022

Diablo 2 was great Kripp

twitchquotes: (โ—•โ€ฟโ—•โœฟ) Diablo 2 was great Kripp, I especially loved the part where you mindlessly clicked in an endless, ball-numbing drone for hours on end as the screen flooded with indiscernible ***. (โ—•โ€ฟโ—•โœฟ)
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing