I am beyond fucking angry right now. As I type this message I can physically feel my muscles tensing and my blood pressure rising. Why the fuck would you call me a "simp"? I've never even fucking watched The Simpsons. Not one fucking episode. I hope you retract that statement, because i'd never refer to you as a dick for not watching Dick and Dom in da Bungalow.
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More Copypastas
we don't operate on empty jars of spaghetti sauce
gf is prego
we like to get kinky anyways
one night things get particularly saucy
i'm sticking my noodle in her when I notice weird fucking chunks coming out, so I turn on the lights
wtf it's red everywhere and she's obviously not on her period
i look up at her, she's got a glassy, jarred look on her face and she's not answering
ohshitohshitohshitohshit
i rush her into my car and speed all the way to the hospital
she's still bleeding everywhere
by the time we get there, she's not bleeding much anymore, but all the color has drained and she looks colorless and almost transparent
oh shit, she looks like she's in a vegetative state
storm into to the emergency room, cary her to the nearest doctor and explain eveything
he takes one look at ther and says
"sir, i'm sorry, there's nothing we can do"
"WHY THE FUCK NOT???"
"we don't operate on empty jars of spaghetti sauce"
Classic
Kripp's streaming checklist
twitchquotes:
*stretch* ☑ "mmmm kay" ☑ "yeah alright" ☑ "fuckin A" ☑ "if he drew anything else I would've won" ☑ "how's this guy SO LUCKY?" ☑ "TOPDECK FLAMESTRIKE, YEAP" ☑ "topdeck into topdeck into topdeck, yeah that's how you get 12 wins guys" ☑
twitch chat
Kripp
ME NAIR ME NO CARE
twitchquotes:
ME IKE 
ME NAIR YOU WANT FUN ME NO CARE
ME NAIR YOU WANT FUN ME NO CARE
twitch chat
VGBootCamp
Super Smash Bros
Who let the dongs out?!
twitchquotes:
ヽ༼◕ل͜◕༽ﾉ Who let the dongs out?! Woof ╰( ͡°ᴥ ͡° ʋ)╯ Woof woof woof woof ╰( ͡°ᴥ ͡° ʋ)╯
twitch chat
imaqtpie
Here in my garage with my pasta linguini
twitchquotes:
Here in my garage with my pasta linguini, but you know what I like more than pasta linguini? Macaroni. That's why I bought 7 new cupboards and filled them with over 2,000 new Kraft macaroni and cheese boxes. It's like the master chef Betty Crocker said, "the more you eat, the more you pasta."
twitch chat
strifecro