I am beyond fucking angry right now. As I type this message I can physically feel my muscles tensing and my blood pressure rising. Why the fuck would you call me a "simp"? I've never even fucking watched The Simpsons. Not one fucking episode. I hope you retract that statement, because i'd never refer to you as a dick for not watching Dick and Dom in da Bungalow.
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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How to kill a geologist
Disclaimer: my hatred of geologists is purely theatrical, but if I did have to kill one for some reason, it would be very easy.
I’d brandish my obsidian knife at them and they’d be compelled to approach. “That’s very cool,” they’d say, confident in their superior strength and endurance from all the rocks they carry around at all times. They’d shower me with very interesting facts about obsidian and hover just out of range of the cutting edge, waiting for me to exhaust myself. “But as it is volcanic glass, it’s very fragile, you see, and isn’t well-suited for use as a weap—” and then I’d hit them with the wooden baseball bat in my other hand, which they would not have noticed because geologists can only see rocks and minerals.
I have the biggest crush for streamer
twitchquotes:
please do not read this, it is a private message i am posting here since notepad crashed after i downloaded that one movie. I have the biggest crush on debuz, his chiseled chest sends heart palpitations deep into my soul. His masculine elbows make my knees quiver ever so
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Bloomberg terminal vs toilet trading
Imagine spending 20K on a bloomberg terminal and thousands on hardware just to get smoke checked by some retards on the toilet trading on their phone that are not only on the spectrum but might be the actual spectrum.
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Polish cow 2
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Even that was not nearly as salty as you are right now...
twitchquotes:
I once drank an entire bottle of soy sauce on a dare, which I thought was all well and good... until I developed extreme dehydration and Hypernatremia. They had to put an IV directly into my veins to rehydrate me. It was the closet I've ever been to dying. What I'm getting at is, even that was not nearly as salty as you are right now 
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Reynad