I am beyond fucking angry right now. As I type this message I can physically feel my muscles tensing and my blood pressure rising. Why the fuck would you call me a "simp"? I've never even fucking watched The Simpsons. Not one fucking episode. I hope you retract that statement, because i'd never refer to you as a dick for not watching Dick and Dom in da Bungalow.
I used to be a real ad
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One Piece
Trolling My Office With Among Us (Part 7)
After we threw Liam out the window, I decided to call another emergency meeting. “Chad sus!1!1!!1 He’s the SUSSY VERY IMPOSTER!” I said. They all asked why Chad was sus. I said it was because his name is Chad. They all agreed so we ejected him. I was naruto running around the office when Adam stopped me and said “Why are you running?” OH MY FUCK DID HE JUST SAY THE FUNNY UGANDAN MEME? SPIT ON HIM BROTHERS. I spit on Adam and I pulled down my pants and pissed on him. He ran away screaming and everybody looked at me. I pulled my pants up.“ Adam sus. He’s screaming.” Everyone nodded and we ejected Adam. My son came out of the elevator even though it was take your kid to work day and he was supposed to be on the bottom floor, not up here on the 3rd floor! So I said “Son, what the fuck nugget wholesome keanu reeves are you doing here?” He closed the elevator door and I think he went to the first floor. I tried pissing on the elevator door in hopes that it would malfunction it but I don’t think it worked. That stupid little bastard. So I got in the elevator when it came back up and went to the first floor. I looked around but couldn’t find him. I pulled one of the kids up by her shirt and said “WHERE THE FUCK IS MY CHILD?” She was screaming and I threw her away. I stomped down the hallways trying to look for him but I couldn’t find him. “This is not a fortnite minecraft roblox 100 wholesome keanu reeves chungus Amogus moment. That’s pretty sus.” All the coworkers were looking at me in terror.
I went out back and searched in the dumpster to see if I could yet again try to find a weapon to kill all the people there. I already got rid of Chad, Adam and Liam so everyone else could easily be disposed of.
Among Us / Amogus
Trolling with Among Us
I'm tired of this terrible chat
twitchquotes:
I'm tired of this terrible chat. I make thoughtful comments and cheer the teams on, but then chat spams and my comment gets lost. I might as well just spam 
7 like the rest of you...
7 like the rest of you...
twitch chat
I hate Twitch Chat
I can no longer resist the pizza
twitchquotes:
I can no longer resist the pizza. I open the box and unzip my pants with my other hand. As I penetrate the gooey cheese, I moan in ecstacy. The mushrooms and Italian sausage are rough, but the sauce is deliciously soothing. I blow my load in seconds. As you leave the bathroom, I exit through the front door....
twitch chat
Kripp
Apparently I "ruined" Thanksgiving dinner
twitchquotes:
Apparently I "ruined" Thanksgiving dinner by bringing my girlfriend Asuka. My mum didn't care that she was a giat robot pilot, tasked with protecting the world after the Second Impact. She insisted that Asuka isn't real and now we're banned from the local country club. Anyways, my mum says if I don't bring a "real" girl to our Christmas dinner I'm going to get kicked out of the house!!! Asuka sets the bar pretty high but if you think you can compete with her please message me 
twitch chat