[Copypasta] I've never even watched The Simpsons

I am beyond fucking angry right now. As I type this message I can physically feel my muscles tensing and my blood pressure rising. Why the fuck would you call me a "simp"? I've never even fucking watched The Simpsons. Not one fucking episode. I hope you retract that statement, because i'd never refer to you as a dick for not watching Dick and Dom in da Bungalow.
December 2020
I used to be a real ad
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Minion Joker

───────────▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄ ────────▄▀▀═════════════▀▀▄ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ•β•β•β•β•β•β•β•β•β•β•β•β•β•β•β•β•β•β•β–ˆ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ•β•β•β•β•β•β•β•β•β•β•β•β•β•β•β•β•β•β•β•β•β–ˆ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ•β•β•β•β•β•β–„β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–„β•β•β•β•β•β•β–ˆ β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ•β•β•β•β•β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β•β•β•β•β•β–ˆ β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ•β•β•β•β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β•β•β•β•β–ˆ β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β–€β–€β–€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ•β•β•β•β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β•β•β•β•β–ˆ β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ•β•β•β•β•β•β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β•β•β•β•β•β•β–ˆ β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ•β–ˆβ–„β•β•β•β•β•β•β•β•β•β•β•β•β•β•β•β•β•β•β•β–„β–ˆβ•β–ˆ β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ•β•β–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β•β•β•β•β•β•β•β•β•β•β•β•β•β•β•β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ•β•β–ˆ β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ•β•β•β–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β•β•β•β•β•β•β•β•β•β•β•β•β•β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ•β•β•β–ˆ β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ•β•β•β•β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β•β•β•β•β•β•β•β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β•β•β•β•β–ˆ β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ•β•β•β•β•β–€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–€β•β•β•β•β•β–ˆ β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ•β•β•β•β•β•β•β•β•β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β•β•β•β•β•β•β•β•β•β–ˆ β”€β”€β”€β–β–“β–“β–Œβ•β•β•β•β•β•β•β•β•β•β•β•β•β•β•β•β•β•β•β•β•β–β–“β–“β–Œ β”€β”€β”€β–β–β–“β–“β–Œβ–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–β–“β–“β–Œβ–Œ β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ•β•β–β–“β–„β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–„β–“β–Œβ•β•β–ˆ β”€β”€β–ˆβ•β•β–Œβ•β–β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–Œβ•β–β•β•β–ˆ β”€β”€β–ˆβ•β•β–ˆβ•β–β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–Œβ•β–ˆβ•β•β–ˆ β”€β”€β–ˆβ•β•β–ˆβ•β–β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–β–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–Œβ•β–ˆβ•β•β–ˆ β”€β”€β–ˆβ•β•β–ˆβ•β–β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–Œβ•β–ˆβ•β•β–ˆ β”€β”€β–ˆβ•β•β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ•β•β–ˆ β”€β–„β–ˆβ•β•β–ˆβ–β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–Œβ–ˆβ•β•β–ˆβ–„ β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–Œβ”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–Œβ”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ β”€β”€β–€β–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ”€β”€β–β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–Œβ”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–Œβ–β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–Œ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–β–“β–“β–“β–“β–Œβ”€β”€β–β–“β–“β–“β–“β–Œ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„ ─────────▀▀▀▀────────▀▀▀▀
September 2021

Little Donger and the BDC

twitchquotes: Qtpie I need help. I have a little donger so I am unable to join the BDC. Please send help and advice otherwise I will forever be a part of the small donger squad. Promote me from the SDS to the BDC please it is all I have ever wanted.
twitch chat
July 2014
imaqtpie

AITA for ending my marriage over Animal Crossing??

I (65m) and my wife 24(f) have been together for 8 years, married for 4. All my friends are jealous that i was able to score such a hot young woman but it’s starting to cause some problems in our relationship believe it or not. When the pandemic hit, I was very nervous since I’m not in great health. We decided to buy the Nintendo Switch and play this game called Animal Crossing. I guess it’s popular with the kids? Anywho, we start building this town and everything was fine at first. Then, my wife decides that she wants to remodel the town. No problem. But she starts cutting down all the trees, destroying the cliffs, removing the river, etc... I told her this is out of line. We should respect nature not destroy it. Her answer? It was ugly and she didn’t like to walk the long way around. She also takes all of my hard earned money from fishing and gambles it all away on turnip stocks. Last week she spent 400k on turnips and sold them for 260k. Do you know how many red snappers I need to catch to make that back up? I’m trying to retire soon and it’s making me think she doesn’t know how to manage money. What really drove me to the breaking point, my best friend Boon is on the island and we really get along. He likes to lift weights, so do I. I log into the game one day and build him a gift. When I try to find him, he’s nowhere to be found... I ask, where is boon? She doesn’t answer. Where is Boon ?? She says β€œI kicked him off the island, he was annoying”. Reddit, she kicked my best friend off the island without even talking to me. The next day I filed for divorce and kicked her out. I’m keeping the switch and rebuilding our town. Hopefully Boon comes back. AITA or did I doge a bullet with my sociopathic (ex)wife? Edit: Thank you all for the support and messages over the last 24hrs. It’s been a wild day but the good news is that after a few hours of island hopping I was able to find Boon and convince him to come back to my island. Seems like things are heading in the right direction.
August 2021

AITA

Just give me one more NAIR

twitchquotes: BabyRage BabyRage I've come to declare BabyRage BabyRage Every night I give prayer BabyRage BabyRage Please lord if you care BabyRage BabyRage Just give me one more NAIR BabyRage BabyRage
twitch chat
February 2019
VGBootCamp

Super Smash Bros

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