[Copypasta] I've never even watched The Simpsons

I am beyond fucking angry right now. As I type this message I can physically feel my muscles tensing and my blood pressure rising. Why the fuck would you call me a "simp"? I've never even fucking watched The Simpsons. Not one fucking episode. I hope you retract that statement, because i'd never refer to you as a dick for not watching Dick and Dom in da Bungalow.
December 2020
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

I've become so much like Eren Jaeger, it's scary.

I've become so much like Eren Jaeger, it's scary. I wear black cardigans, verbally assault women, and physically assault my friends. When I look in the mirror, I can't help but say "戦い, 戦い" (which means fight, fight in american.) I grew my hair out long because I don't care so now I have to wear it in a bun and I don't care what people think so shut fuck up Hange! I always leave an open wound on my hand, and go out of my way to show it to everyone so they are reminded that I am in control. When I see dogs being taken on walks I get mad at them for not being free like I am. I can't have sex with my girlfriend anymore without forcing her to dress up as Mikasa or Historia, both of whom remind me of Armin. When I order fast food, I refuse to call them french fries and insist on calling them freedom fries. I just keep moving forward, until my enemies are destroyed.
April 2022

Anime

Weebs

Attack on Titan

It can only be described as a Twisting Nether

twitchquotes: I gasp in horror as Kripp pulls out his "huge gun". It can only be described as a Twisting Nether. He says "I got lethal now ". Then he topdecks Blizzard and frosts my face. I groan as he grabs my package and whispers "No sniperinos on my stream..." Then he continues to Gorehowl me.
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp

Hearthstone

Tik Tok hammer and sickle

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣄⠈⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠉⠉⠁⠀⢹⣿⣿⣧⡀⠀⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡀⠀⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⢀⣴⣧⡀⠀⠀⠀⠙⢿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠙⢿⠃⠀⠀⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠙⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠆⠀⠀⠈⠉⠛⠻⠿⠿⠟⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⢀⣦⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣤⡀⠀⣀⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠉⠉⠉⠉⣙⠉⢹⠉⠉⣿⣿⣿⡏⠉⠉⠉⠉⣿⣿⣿⣿⠻⣿⡿⠉⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⣿⡏⠉⢹⠀⠀⠁⢀⣴⣿⣿⠀⠀⣿⣿⠋⠀⢸⣷⠈⢗⠀⠛⠁⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⣿⡇⠀⢸⠀⠀⡀⠘⢿⣿⣿⠀⠀⣿⠟⠷⣷⣄⠙⠀⣿⠀⣀⠀⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣄⣠⣿⣧⣀⣸⣀⣠⣿⣄⣈⣿⣿⣄⣠⣧⣴⣦⣤⣤⣤⣤⣿⣀⣿⣧⣀⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
January 2022

Hello Mr. Morosan! This is the salt truck driver

twitchquotes: ༼ ͠• ل͜ • ༽ ʜᴇʟʟᴏ ᴍʀ. ᴍᴏʀᴏsᴀɴ! ᴛʜɪs ɪs ᴛʜᴇ sᴀʟᴛ-ᴛʀᴜᴄᴋ-ᴅʀɪᴠᴇʀ. ɪ'ᴍ ʜᴇʀᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴅᴇʟɪᴠᴇʀ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴏʀᴅᴇʀ ᴏꜰ 69 ᴛᴏɴs ᴏꜰ ᴩᴜʀᴇ sᴀʟᴛ ꜰʀᴏᴍ ᴛʜᴇ ꜰᴀᴍᴏᴜs sᴀʟᴛᴍɪɴᴇ "üʙᴇʀᴋäᴋᴇɴᴋᴏᴛᴢɴ" ɪɴ ᴛʜᴇ ᴀʟᴩs. ɪꜰ ʏᴏᴜ'ᴅ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴏʀᴅᴇʀ ᴍᴏʀᴇ sᴀʟᴛ, ʟᴇᴛ ᴍᴇ ᴋɴᴏᴡ! ɢᴏᴏᴅʙʏᴇ sɪʀ! ༼ ͠• ل͜ • ༽
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Hey, Vsauce, Michael here!

Hey, Vsauce, Michael here! Down here. But which way is down? And how much does down weigh? Well, down weighs about 1/100 of a g/cm3 . It is light, and airy, which makes it a great source of insulation and buoyancy for waterbirds. But if you let go of down, it falls down. So that's which way down is, it's the direction that gravity is pulling everything. Now for someone on the other side of the Earth, my down is their up, but where are falling things going? Why do things fall? Are they being pushed or pulled? Or, is it because of TIME TRAVEL.
March 2020
Text-to-Speech Playing