the year is 2021
A tesla drives down the street
unknowing of the danger behind it
a beast of American metal and lightning
The driver realizes he is in danger in his commie-fornia shoebox
He presses the pussy pedal as hard as he can
It cannot save him, he can hear the music already
"THIS IS GAWWWWWD'S COUNTRRRRRYYYYYYY"
He realizes he is already dead
In an instant he becomes like a fly in the grill of a truck
In the grill of the Ford F-150 EV
It stops for no one
I used to be a real ad
More WallStreetBets Copypastas
I'm actually a pretty advanced bait station designer
I'm actually a pretty advanced bait station designer. While my formal education is a bit lacking, my cad and computer animation skills are really good, and I have some truly paradigm shifting ideas for bait stations, both vr and non vr.
currently in the beginning stages of seeking VC funds, really trying to move my operation from San Antonio to Austin, a second location could triple my revenue right now.
Obviously right now all our orders are high end custom stations, way out of reach for the avg wsb user. Its my dream to one day be able to produce real bait stations in a production environment.
Right now my company is in talks with several engineering firms out of Seoul to take our cum recycling system and some how use the energy from the spent cum to recharge the batteries.
While the technology is new. It has huge applications. Imagine when you go to charge your tsla, its powered completely by cum.
No longer must we let our nonbiological female prostitutes flush our GOLD down the toilet post coitus, that shit is going to drive our new society.
The money we save as a society on sock costs alone is tremendous.
WallStreetBets
MSFT Infinite Money Glitch ๐๐๐
Disclaimer: I am not a financial or investment advisor.
Before this subreddit was ruined by ten million people, solid DD used to get done. Do you ever find yourself reminiscing about the good โol WSB days?
Well, your prayers have been answered. Degenerates gather around, as I am bringing you a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to make some serious $MSFT tendies ๐
Today, Bill Gates announced that after twenty-seven years of marriage, he will be divorcing. Do you know what this means? Bill is single and ready to mingle.
Step 1: Use Wifeโs Tinder Account
Step 2: Match with Bill Gates
Step 3: Wife goes on date with Bill, they fall in love, he proposes, no pre-nup
Step 4: Wife marries Bill and becomes $MSFT royalty
Step 5: Continue to date wife
Step 6: Cash out ๐๐๐
For those too retarded to read:
https://preview.redd.it/tts3psz5q0x61.jpg?width=1125&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5f68092ae47d414627c6dee8a0c4afd6808bcc57
Congratulations. You are now your own wifeโs boyfriend.
WallStreetBets
Classic
Apple announces an EV program
Oh boy I can't wait until 2024 when I can wake up to my Apple Homepod Siri alarm and check my Apple Watch for notifications and take a shower in my Apple Big Douche then put my makeup on before work in my Apple Mirror then take my Apple Car to my job at Apple Phone Plant #584 so I can work on my Mac Pro workstation designing the latest Apple Product the iShit smart toilet that syncs with your iAsshole to sense when you have a massive log brewing in my large intestine and sends me a notification to my apple colonoscopy bag. Russian hackers will know what I had for dinner.
WallStreetBets
HODL
๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐
๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐
๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐
๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐
๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐
๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐
๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐
๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐
๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐
๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐
๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐
๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐
๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐
๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐
๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐
๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐
๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐
๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐
๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐
๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐
๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐
๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐
๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐
๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐
๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐
๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐
๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐
๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐
๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐
๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐
๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐
๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐
๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐
๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐
๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐
๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐
WallStreetBets
Red futures :(
Bought a bunch of calls thinking I was going to be able to afford an escort to shit on my chest, now it's these red futures that are shitting on my chest.