the year is 2021
A tesla drives down the street
unknowing of the danger behind it
a beast of American metal and lightning
The driver realizes he is in danger in his commie-fornia shoebox
He presses the pussy pedal as hard as he can
It cannot save him, he can hear the music already
"THIS IS GAWWWWWD'S COUNTRRRRRYYYYYYY"
He realizes he is already dead
In an instant he becomes like a fly in the grill of a truck
In the grill of the Ford F-150 EV
It stops for no one
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More WallStreetBets Copypastas
Mitch is the type of dude who...
Mitch McConnell shaves his face with the same razor he shaves his nuts and butt hole
Mitch the type of guy to put on sunglasses to get another free sample at Costco
Mitch the type of guy that says "you too" when the waitress tells him to enjoy his meal.
Mitch the kinda guy to leave โsmile moreโ on the tip section of a receipt
Mitch is the type of dude who says "Ni Hao" to the waiter at a Thai restaurant
Mitch the type of guy to shower then shit
Mitch McConnell claps when the plane lands
Mitch is the type of dude who thinks crest toothpaste is spicy
Mitch the kind of guy that uses self checkout with a full cart.
WallStreetBets
GME $1000 IS NOT A MEME
๐๐๐ UPVOTE/GILD SO PEOPLE CAN SEE ๐๐๐
LISTEN TO ME. DO NOT SELL TOMORROW. OR ANY DAY THIS WEEK. Drops are coming. They are counting on fear to beat us. Itโs the only weapon they have on us, but it wonโt work because we are retarded. The people are finally taking the power back from these boomer hedge fund big money shorting douchebags - the same people who fucked everyone over in 2008 with CDOs and continue to fuck you over to this day. Get ready to make Melvin throat hard retard dick. We only have strength if we stay in this TOGETHER. HOLD THE LINE. THE SHORT SQUEEZE HASNT HAPPENED YET. Donโt pussy out you fucking idiots. $1000 IS NOT A MEME. I love you all, you beautiful autistic bulls. Hang tight while we ride this thing into the FUCKING STRATOSPHERE.
APES TOGETHER STRONG ๐ฆ ๐ ๐
WallStreetBets
Classic
Darth Bearish the Regarded
Did you ever hear the tragedy of "Darth Bearish the Regarded"?
I thought not. Itโs not a story any bull would tell you.
Itโs an ancient Bear legend.
Darth Bearish was a Dark Lord of the Bears, so well capitalized and so regarded he could use Leverage to influence gamma to create profitsโฆ He had such a knowledge of the dark side of Leverage that he could even keep other traders he cared about from being margin called.
But the dark side of Leverage is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be... unnatural. He became so bearishโฆ the only thing he was afraid of was losing his positions, which eventually, of course, he did.
Unfortunately, he taught his apprentice everything he knew, then his apprentice reversed his positions in his sleep. Ironic. He could save others from bankruptcy, but not himself!
Tragedy of Darth Plagueis The Wise
WallStreetBets
Bullish market makes me hard
When the stocks ๐๐ go up ๐๐ธ, my dick goes too ๐โฌ๏ธ๐ณ. Bullish ๐ market ๐ฌ makes me hard ๐ฆด๐ฆ. All the countries ๐ณ๏ธ๐ด๐ดโโ ๏ธ๐๐ฉ๐ณ๏ธโ๐๐ณ๏ธโโง๏ธ๐บ๐ณ try to recover ๐ from corona ๐ฆ so the money ๐ฐ๐ต๐ธ flows ๐ฌ into my pocket ๐ณ. Soon ๐ there will be a crash ๐๐ญ๐ฅบ๐ and the bears ๐ป will crawl ๐ผ out of their holes ๐ณ. Then they cut off my greedy dick โ๏ธ๐๐ฉธ if I donโt โ eat โem out ๐
๐ธ. I must turn into a bear ๐โก๏ธ๐ป and make ๐ค๐ผ more money ๐ฐ๐ต๐ธ and eat some honey ๐ป๐ฏ. When Iโm done โ
Iโll throw a party ๐๐ท๐พ and eat your ass ๐
๐.
Emoji Pasta
WallStreetBets
GME bank consultation
Short story-time for amusement reasons only:
some days ago, I went to my bank (Austria). I am the owner of quite a number of GME shares and my broker app is actually just the bank-intern bond trading app, where I need to pay transactional feed everytime I buy (what is sell?) GME shares. I informed myself about the reasoning of those transactional fees beforehand and found out that by paying them, I have the right of consultation by my bank about the shares theyโre trading/Iโm buying.
So, I went to the main national building of my bank, they were really friendly at the beginning, enthustiatically, I mentioned GME to them and that I wish for professional consultation about the financial details involved with that stock (I am not a financial guy, actually, I donโt exactly know whatโs going on, itโs all pretty crazy to me).
Suddenly, their posture and mimick changed pretty suddenly. I was told, they are not allowed to consult about GME. To my question, why this was the case, they told me, because GME is โtoo irrelevant for the big stock marketโ. They are โaware of the past short squeeze, but one should no longer focus on GMEโ. They acted as if GME was some โchildish financial playgroundโ that should be forgotten about. When I confronted them with the huge recent naked short attacks and if they could explain to me possible effects of them if they were not covered, they just repeated themselves how โGME is not relevant, please focus on stocks like Apple or Amazon to be safeโ.
I left the bank, buying more GME shares.