the year is 2021
A tesla drives down the street
unknowing of the danger behind it
a beast of American metal and lightning
The driver realizes he is in danger in his commie-fornia shoebox
He presses the pussy pedal as hard as he can
It cannot save him, he can hear the music already
"THIS IS GAWWWWWD'S COUNTRRRRRYYYYYYY"
He realizes he is already dead
In an instant he becomes like a fly in the grill of a truck
In the grill of the Ford F-150 EV
It stops for no one
What happened to this ad? :(
More WallStreetBets Copypastas
Is that insider trading?
If you're a passenger on a newly recertified 737MAX and it starts to nosedive into the sea so you buy shitloads of BA puts over WiFi before impact, is that insider trading?
WallStreetBets
GME to the moon
.γγγγγγγγγγ β¦ γγγγββ γ γγγΛγγγγγγγγγγγγγγ*γγγγγγβ
βγγγγγγγγγγγγγγγ.γγγγγγγγγγγγγγ. γγβγγγγγγγ β¦
γγγγγγγγγγ γ β β β β γγγγ γγγγγγγγγγγγ,γγβββγ
.γγγγγγγγγγγγγ.γγγοΎγββγγγ.γγγγγγγγγγγβοΈif we holdγγ.
,γγγγγγγ.γγγγγγββββγγγγ γγγγγγγγγγγγγγγγγγβ
γγγγγγγγγγ. γγγγγγγγγγ.γγγγγγγγγγγγγ.
γγγγγγγγγγγγγγγγβββββββγβββγγγγγγγγγγγγγγγγβββββββγβββ β¦
γβββγγγ,γγγγγγγγγγγββββπ gme γγγγ γγ,γγγ β β β β γ
γγγγγγγγγγγγ.γγγγγβγγ
γγγ.γγγγγγγγγγγγγβγβββββββββββγγγγγγγγγγγγγγγγγγγΛγ
ββγγγγ,γγγγγγγγγγγβββββββγββββγγγγγγγγγγγγγγγγ.γγγ
βγγββββγγγγγβγγγγγ.γγγγγγγγγγγγγ.γγγγγγγγγγγγγγγ*
γγ ββγγγγγ β¦ γγγγγγγβββββββββγββββββββγγγγ
γγβγγγγγγγβγγγγγ.γγγγγγγγγγγγγγγγγγ.γγγγγββββγγ.
γβγγγγγ.γγγγ π γγγγγβββγγγγγ.γγγγγγγγγγγ.γ
ΛγγγγγγγγγγγγγγγγγγγγγοΎγγγγγ.γγγγγγγγγγγγγγγ.
γγβγ π β β if we sell β β β β β β β ,γ γγγγγγγγγγγγγγ*
.γγγγγβγγγγγγγγγγγγγγ.γγγγγγγγγγ β¦
Λγγγγγγγγγγγγγγ*γγγγγγβ
βγγγγγγγγγγγγγγγ.γγγγγγγγγγγγγγ.
WallStreetBets
Classic
Team Bull vs Team Bear
Team Bull
Jerome "We print it digitally" Powell
Elon "TSLA stonk too low imo" Musk
Nancy "Stimulus talks going well" Pelosi
Donny "Stop the count" Mango
Janet "Unlimited QE bitch" Yellen
Lisa "Su Bae" Su
Ryan "Make Gamestop great again" Cohen
------------------------------------------------------------------------
VS
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Team Bear
Jeff "No stock split to keep the poors out" Bezos
Mitch "Stimulus talks not going well" Mcconnell
Steven "Discontinue the PPP" Mnuchin
Andrew "PlTr PrIcE tArGeT $10" Left
Tim "Don't call me by my slave name" Apple
Michael "I'm publicly shorting TSLA" Burry
Warren "I fought in the Civil War" Buffet
Which team will win?
Team Bull or Team Bear?
Load up on weeklies for a ticket to the pay per view hell in the cell match.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Special Guests:
That one JPM analyst with TSLA 90p 12/18
Life savings SPCE calls guy
Jim "FUCK ROBINHOOD" Cramer
WallStreetBets
GME bank consultation
Short story-time for amusement reasons only:
some days ago, I went to my bank (Austria). I am the owner of quite a number of GME shares and my broker app is actually just the bank-intern bond trading app, where I need to pay transactional feed everytime I buy (what is sell?) GME shares. I informed myself about the reasoning of those transactional fees beforehand and found out that by paying them, I have the right of consultation by my bank about the shares theyβre trading/Iβm buying.
So, I went to the main national building of my bank, they were really friendly at the beginning, enthustiatically, I mentioned GME to them and that I wish for professional consultation about the financial details involved with that stock (I am not a financial guy, actually, I donβt exactly know whatβs going on, itβs all pretty crazy to me).
Suddenly, their posture and mimick changed pretty suddenly. I was told, they are not allowed to consult about GME. To my question, why this was the case, they told me, because GME is βtoo irrelevant for the big stock marketβ. They are βaware of the past short squeeze, but one should no longer focus on GMEβ. They acted as if GME was some βchildish financial playgroundβ that should be forgotten about. When I confronted them with the huge recent naked short attacks and if they could explain to me possible effects of them if they were not covered, they just repeated themselves how βGME is not relevant, please focus on stocks like Apple or Amazon to be safeβ.
I left the bank, buying more GME shares.
WallStreetBets
I challenge you to βTurtle Kingβ
Before my ban, someone challenged me to a duel with cocks.
I challenge you to βTurtle Kingβ instead.
We each dock our unhardened cocks into each other, then we put on clips of Yellen speaking during FOMC meetings.
The first to effectively go from flaccid to erect and push the other out of the βdockβ is crowned Turtle π€΄.
Dual me, Iβm 4-0.