the year is 2021
A tesla drives down the street
unknowing of the danger behind it
a beast of American metal and lightning
The driver realizes he is in danger in his commie-fornia shoebox
He presses the pussy pedal as hard as he can
It cannot save him, he can hear the music already
"THIS IS GAWWWWWD'S COUNTRRRRRYYYYYYY"
He realizes he is already dead
In an instant he becomes like a fly in the grill of a truck
In the grill of the Ford F-150 EV
It stops for no one
I used to be a real ad
More WallStreetBets Copypastas
Mitch is the type of dude who...
Mitch McConnell shaves his face with the same razor he shaves his nuts and butt hole
Mitch the type of guy to put on sunglasses to get another free sample at Costco
Mitch the type of guy that says "you too" when the waitress tells him to enjoy his meal.
Mitch the kinda guy to leave “smile more” on the tip section of a receipt
Mitch is the type of dude who says "Ni Hao" to the waiter at a Thai restaurant
Mitch the type of guy to shower then shit
Mitch McConnell claps when the plane lands
Mitch is the type of dude who thinks crest toothpaste is spicy
Mitch the kind of guy that uses self checkout with a full cart.
WallStreetBets
$600 should last us for at least 5 months
Our government is so kind and caring for us. Waits till the very last minute to finally pass something and gives us $600 which should last us for at least 5 months. God bless this country
WallStreetBets
Anyone basing trades on technical analysis right now is a fucking tool
So many arrogant fucks here love talking technical analysis when they can't even do basic fraction arithmetic much less understand Ito Calculus. Fucking clowns, all of them.
Shut the fuck up and do your trades. If you really need a number you can't even derive to tell you whether you should buy a stock or not you deserve losing all and hanging yourself.
Newsflash, the stock market never made sense nor will it. Best you can do is trade shit you know about and feel still hasn't been spotted by the bandwagon of smooth brains on subreddits like this one or r/stocks . Or alternatively manipulate the market like the rich investors you look up to do. Warren Buffet's dad was a politician, if you think that shit didn't help that fat fuck then not only are you retarded but also delusional.
Now stfu about volatility and RSI. If you actually knew what the fuck was going to happen you'd be chilling in Hawaii with a fat titty chick not on Reddit posting "technical analysis".
WallStreetBets
GameStop vs Amazon
i’m not sure how up to date you are on the whole GameStop situation but Amazon is heading for bankruptcy and GameStop is now their biggest competitor.
market cap isn’t there yet, but the company plan is on track.
also Jeff Bezos is the target of every major corporation now.
Amazon CANT survive the next few years with their increasing bad reputation from littering and burning unused inventory to labor rights with their workers being violated.
Amazon sounds great, until you look underneath the hood and see all the parts are grinding and screaming.
GameStop is targeting Amazon to be the epicenter of e-commerce/gaming.
this GameStop earnings has been MASSIVELY anticipated and i believe Amazon will continue to develop a negative correlation to GameStop.
so what do they have to do with each other? competitors and GameStops about to make the move with a bite to the jugular.
WallStreetBets
I saw JPOW at the grocery store
I saw JPOW at the grocery store. I was buying a dozen eggs last night and the store was kind of slow since it was after dark. Some old boomer was in front of me and chatting away with the woman at the cash register. Everyone had masks on, but as soon as he spoke I recognized the voice. He was telling the lady how inflation is a good thing. She said how come inflation keeps going up but minimum wage never rises? He ignored her and pulls out a large sheet of $1 bills. He asks if she had scissors but she said no.
He looked back at me and saw the eggs and said "You workout huh? Its good to stay healthy. I used to workout by lifting bales of hay after school in 1952. Eggs are a good source of energy, mind if I take one? " I shrugged and told him.go ahead. He opened my pack of eggs, takes one out, lowers his mask, just throws the whole thing in his mouth shell and all, puts his mask back up, and begins chewing loudly. As he's chewing he's crookedly folding and ripping a sheet of dollar bills handing them to the lady individually. While he's chewing he tells me it's a great time to buy bonds. I tell him I'm good.
The store was short on change so he just pays the full dollar amount. He hands me a crooked bill that is almost ripped in half and says "thanks pal, in the future that single egg will be worth a dollar so we will call it even"
Im heading to my car after and I see him and another boomer arguing. There was JPOW and he's arguing with a man built like a gnome wearing a poorly fit collared shirt. The little man spoke and I instantly knew it was Cramer. Cramer wanted JPOW to hurry up and stop hogging the best parking spot. JPOW tells Cramer that hes got his mask on inside out and upside down. They both start talking about inflation and then look deep into each other's eyes and start making out with their masks on.
It was a pretty weird.