[Copypasta] my friend is intellectually inferior for me for being christian

Ok, so today I was talking to my friend over text. I asked him what's his favorite anime but then he told me that he doesn't watch it and thinks it's boring. I was confused as to why he didn't watch anime. I told him about how much I like to watch anime "for the plot" but he didn't really show much interest. I then asked him if we could play Among Us later but then he said he has to go to church this afternoon. I never knew he was a Christian. I was asking him why he believed in God and he didn't reply so I told him he's intellectually inferior to me and that his parents indoctrinated him into believing in God. I was sending him scientific studies that show proof that atheists are more intellectually superior to people who believe in religion. I later found out that he was attending a funeral at the church.
December 2020
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More Copypastas

Am I The Asshole for not being able to trade options for my dad? Iโ€™m 6.

This started about 4 years ago when I was 2 years old. My dad started to supplement me picture books and cartoons with beginner options books and Martin Shkerli's live videos on how to pick pharmaceutical stocks. Over the course of these years I have retained absolutely nothing even though my dad has spent every waking minute trying to make me understand. He has done almost everything including having Jerome Powell's speeches play while I am sleeping and only having Warren Buffet on the TV to try and make me understand the market. Yesterday, he got to a breaking point when I couldn't differentiate between a straddle and a strangle even though we went through different strategies for almost a month straight. My dad finally convinced my mom that they were doing the right thing when he said that I will soon be a Wendy's worker begging my wife's husband for a weekly allowance because I will never amount to be anything. He couldn't fathom raising a kid who was not able to able to make a profit from trading options by the time he was 10. With all that said, if anyone wants a 6 year old child who is shitty at market strategy, plz adopt me from Eternal Sunny Orphanage in Omaha, Nebraska.
September 2021

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Magic the Gathering Thought Erasure

twitchquotes: Yesterday, there was a Magic the Gathering tournament at my local hobby shop. My girlfriend decided to tag along and come support me. I ended up doing pretty poorly (1-3), but the hobby shop gave out a consolation prize of a random foiled uncommon card. The card that I received was called "Thought Erasure" and immediately held the card up to my girlfriend and said "AND I CAST THOUGHT ERASURE, BE GONE THOT!" as a joke, but said it pretty loudly. The shop is pretty small and a lot of people caught wind of my act and needless to say my girlfriend was very embarrassed. We're home now and she still hasn't spoken to me. I'm fucked boys.
twitch chat
November 2018

Hold Ctrl and type wash ur hands

twitchquotes: Hey guys, [streamer] has partnered with Twitch to help spread awareness about COVID-19. Hold Ctrl and type wash ur hands to earn 100 bits!
twitch chat
November 2020

Dance party

โ–‘โ–‘โ”Œโ”€โ”€โ”โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ”Œโ”€โ”€โ”โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ•”โ•กโ–โ–โ•žโ•โ–‘โ–‘โ”Œโ”€โ”€โ”โ–‘โ–‘โ•”โ•กโ–โ–โ•žโ•โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ””โ•ฅโ•ฅโ”˜โ–‘โ–‘โ•šโ•กโ–Œโ–Œโ•žโ•—โ–‘โ–‘โ””โ•ฅโ•ฅโ”˜โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ•šโ•šโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ””โ•ฅโ•ฅโ”˜โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ•šโ•šโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ•โ•โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ DANCE PARTY โ–‘โ–‘โ”Œโ”€โ”€โ”โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ”Œโ”€โ”€โ”โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ•”โ•กXXโ•žโ•โ–‘โ–‘โ”Œโ”€โ”€โ”โ–‘โ–‘โ•”โ•กXXโ•žโ•โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ””โ•ฅโ•ฅโ”˜โ–‘โ–‘โ•šโ•กXXโ•žโ•—โ–‘โ–‘โ””โ•ฅโ•ฅโ”˜โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ•šโ•šโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ””โ•ฅโ•ฅโ”˜โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ•šโ•šโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ•โ•โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘
November 2014

My son, why did you tap last?

twitchquotes: In Romanian village there is very little water. Papparian is thirsty and asks Kripparian to get some water for him from the water tap 2 miles away. Kripp decides to go to the store first. A few hours later Kripp brings Papparian his water, only to find Papparian has had a heat stroke. With his dying breath, Papparian asks "My son, why did you tap last?"
twitch chat
February 2016
Kripp

Hearthstone

Text-to-Speech Playing