Ok, this is ABSOLUTE fucking bullshit. I went to see Cars in the theater yesterday, and when Lightning McQueen got HOT with Sally in Radiator Springs, my boner engaged. When Lightning McQueen said "Ka-Chow!", I couldn't help it!!! I closed my eyes, and I TORE my dick to shreds, using whip like motions and pulled with great force. That was one of the best nuts I ever had, just thinking about it now gets me riled up. Thing is, I nutted all over the kid sitting right next to me, and his mom got all pissed at me, screaming at me for jacking off on her son. I told that bitch to shut the fuck up, and that jacking off is a natural, artistic, and beautiful process. You should BE HAPPY that my semen is all over your son, maybe he can learn a lesson or two about the culture and art of jacking off. HOWEVER, the movie theater managers didn't agree with me. They KICKED ME OUT of the movie theater, and I didn't even finish watching the Cars movie. Not only THAT, but they made me clean up my semen after it already dried out and solidified on the seats. THATS TORTURE!! Do you know how hard it is to clean semen after its dried out? You CLEAN semen after its FRESH out of your cock, not an hour after you fucking nutted. This is a fucking OUTRAGE. Do you really expect me to not whip out my cock and jack off when i see a HOT sex scene in a movie? Either don't ban sex scenes in movies, or LET ME jack off in your theater, assholes.
I used to be a real ad
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If only QT was here
twitchquotes:
DIG is 0-2 down to TIP, in champ select for their next game -"If only QT was here" says Kiwi -Smoke appears and out steps Imaqtpie -He knocks out CoreJJ and instalocks Quinn, screaming 'SQUAAK!' - QT feeds his ass off and DIG lose 0-3
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imaqtpie
League of Legends
I've achieved so much that you'll never come close to
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I've achieved so much that you'll never come close to. Your life is fucking empty, which is why you're relishing this little bit of attention you're getting from someone. You spent an evening tweeting inane opinions and reactions into the void. Let me know when reality kicks in.
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Don't install Talking Roby
When I was 8 years old, I was searching for apps that were like Talking Tom. I found one that was called โTalking Roby The Robotโ, I was curious so I downloaded it and installed it. I played it and I enjoyed every single second of it. I was a big fan of Roby. But when, it was 3 AM, my mom was sleeping so I now could use the phone without mom knowing, Tried the text to speech feature and typed the words โsing like dickโ. The robot said โsing like dickโ. I almost laughed too hard after seeing that. I recorded it and uploaded it to YouTube. after uploading it, I heard The Exorcist theme playing in the living room radio. I was shocked, I couldnโt move, and then Roby himself came out of my closet and said โsing like dickโ. I was crying in fear, โis this a nightmare?โ I asked. Roby said โnoโ. I was scared, this was real all along? And then Roby bled at me with hyper-realistic eyes and said: โ666โ. I was crying, and then he disappeared. My life has changed after that moment. Donโt install Talking Roby.
In Korea, heart surgeon
Number one. Steady hand. One day, Kim Jong Un need new heart. I do operation. But mistake! Kim Jong Un die! SSD very mad! I hide fishing boat, come to America. No English, no food, no money. Darryl give me job. Now I have house, American car and new woman. Darryl save life.
My big secret. I kill Kim Jong Un on purpose. I good surgeon. The best!
Classic
Just me and EA hanging out
twitchquotes:
Just me and ๐ฐ๐EA๐๐ฐ, hanging out I wanted some Star Wars๐ so I started to pout ๐ He asked if I was down โฌfor something yummy ๐๐ and I asked what and he said he'd give me his ๐ฐ๐ฆlooties!๐ฆ๐ฐ Yeah! Yeah!๐๐ฆ I earn them!๐ฆ I buy them!๐ฆ I purchase them whole๐ฆ๐ฐ ๐ It makes ๐ฐ๐EA๐๐ฐ ๐happy๐ so it's my only goal... ๐๐ฆ๐ซHarder EA! Harder EA! ๐ซ๐ฆ๐ 1 lootie๐ฆ, 2 lootie๐ฆ๐ฆ, 3 lootie๐ฆ๐ฆ๐ฆ, 4๐ฆ๐ฆ๐ฆ๐ฆ I'm ๐ฐ๐EA's๐๐ฐ ๐Disney princess ๐but I'm also a consumer whore! ๐ He makes me OP๐!He makes me feel good๐! ๐๐๐He makes me feel everything a whale should!~ ๐๐๐ ๐๐ฆ๐Wa-What!๐๐ฆ๐๏ปฟ
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