Ok, this is ABSOLUTE fucking bullshit. I went to see Cars in the theater yesterday, and when Lightning McQueen got HOT with Sally in Radiator Springs, my boner engaged. When Lightning McQueen said "Ka-Chow!", I couldn't help it!!! I closed my eyes, and I TORE my dick to shreds, using whip like motions and pulled with great force. That was one of the best nuts I ever had, just thinking about it now gets me riled up. Thing is, I nutted all over the kid sitting right next to me, and his mom got all pissed at me, screaming at me for jacking off on her son. I told that bitch to shut the fuck up, and that jacking off is a natural, artistic, and beautiful process. You should BE HAPPY that my semen is all over your son, maybe he can learn a lesson or two about the culture and art of jacking off. HOWEVER, the movie theater managers didn't agree with me. They KICKED ME OUT of the movie theater, and I didn't even finish watching the Cars movie. Not only THAT, but they made me clean up my semen after it already dried out and solidified on the seats. THATS TORTURE!! Do you know how hard it is to clean semen after its dried out? You CLEAN semen after its FRESH out of your cock, not an hour after you fucking nutted. This is a fucking OUTRAGE. Do you really expect me to not whip out my cock and jack off when i see a HOT sex scene in a movie? Either don't ban sex scenes in movies, or LET ME jack off in your theater, assholes.
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
F2P player
twitchquotes:
Hi Trump, nice warrior deck! I'm a F2P player though, and was wondering if you could tell me what cards i could use in place of Baron, Alexstrasza, Ragnaros, Brawl, Death's bite, and shield slam?
twitch chat
Trump
Twitch Chat and Team Rocket
twitchquotes:
тo proтecт тнe cнaт ғroм devaѕтaтιon, тo υnιтe ѕpaммerѕ wιтнιn oυr naтιon, тo denoυnce тнe evιlѕ oғ вanѕ and мodѕ, тo eхтend oυr ѕpaм тo тнe ѕpace aвove. copy! paѕтe! тwιтcн cнaт, ѕcroll aт тнe ѕpeed oғ lιgнт! Sυrrender or prepare тo ғιgнт! ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) тнaт'ѕ rιgнт!
twitch chat
imaqtpie
My son is learning Twitch speak
twitchquotes:
Kripp I need advice. My son watches a lot of you, and he doesn’t speak English but is learning from chat. He's starting using terms like "pog","jabaited", and "kappa,” but its gotten to the point where every sentence is Twitchspeak. At dinner my daughter was talking about how she got accepted to college, and my son said "pog you, easy clap". I told him to talk normally to his family, and he replied "Weird champ, normies omegaLOL." I blacklisted twitch and now my son is hysterical, what to do.
twitch chat
Kripp
Frog of Ice
twitchquotes:
Ａｎｄ ｔｈｅｎ ｆｒｏｍ ｔｈｅ ｃｌｏｕｄｓ ｏｆ ｃｙｂｅｒ ｓｐａｃｅ， ａ ｃｈｉｌｌ ｗｉｎｄ ｂｌｅｗ ｕｐｏｎ ａ ｍｅｒｅ Ｐａｓｔｅｒ ｐｌｅｂ， ｉｔ ｗａｓ ｔｈｅ ｆｒｏｇ ｏｆ ｉｃｅ， ａｎｄ ｈｅ ｕｎｖｅｉｌｅｄ ｕｐｏｎ ｈｉｍ ｔｈｅ ｒｅｖｅｌａｔｉｏｎｓ． ｔｈｅ ｒｅｖｅｌａｔｉｏｎｓ ｆｏｒｅｔｏｌｄ ｏｆ ａ ｎｅｗ ｐａｔｃｈ， ａ ｓａｖｉｏｒ． ａ ｍｅｓｓｉａｈ， ｔｈｅ ｒｉｓｅ ｏｆ ａ ｎｅｗ ｈｅｒｏ ａｎｄ ｔｈｅ ｄｏｗｎｆａｌｌ ｏｆ ｏｔｈｅｒｓ． Ｔｈｅ ｍｅｒｅ ｐｌｅｂ＇ｓ ｆｅｅｔ ｎｅａｒｌｙ ｃｏｌｌａｐｓｅｄ ｕｎｄｅｒ ｈｉｍ ａｓ ｈｅ ｗａｓ ｔｈｕｎｄｅｒｓｔｒｕｃｋ ｂｙ ｔｈｅ ｋｎｏｗｌｅｄｇｅ ａｎｄ ｈｅ ｒａｎ ｗｉｔｈ ｗｈａｔ ｅｖｅｒ ｂｒｅａｔｈ ｗａｓ ｗｉｔｈｉｎ ｈｉｍ ｔｏ ｓｐｒｅａｄ ｔｈｅ ｇｏｏｄ ｎｅｗｓ．
twitch chat
SingSing
"Only 200 Gems, are you kidding me?!"
twitchquotes:
"Only 200 Gems, are you kidding me?!" screams Kripp at the struggling mobile game dev who's game he is being sponsored to play. "How am I supposed to hit rank 1 without a massive head-start over everyone else!? I have to be able to brag to my chat about being #1 in every game I play!" The developer, scared, gives in to his demands. Business as usual for the Kripp.
twitch chat
Kripp