Ok, this is ABSOLUTE fucking bullshit. I went to see Cars in the theater yesterday, and when Lightning McQueen got HOT with Sally in Radiator Springs, my boner engaged. When Lightning McQueen said "Ka-Chow!", I couldn't help it!!! I closed my eyes, and I TORE my dick to shreds, using whip like motions and pulled with great force. That was one of the best nuts I ever had, just thinking about it now gets me riled up. Thing is, I nutted all over the kid sitting right next to me, and his mom got all pissed at me, screaming at me for jacking off on her son. I told that bitch to shut the fuck up, and that jacking off is a natural, artistic, and beautiful process. You should BE HAPPY that my semen is all over your son, maybe he can learn a lesson or two about the culture and art of jacking off. HOWEVER, the movie theater managers didn't agree with me. They KICKED ME OUT of the movie theater, and I didn't even finish watching the Cars movie. Not only THAT, but they made me clean up my semen after it already dried out and solidified on the seats. THATS TORTURE!! Do you know how hard it is to clean semen after its dried out? You CLEAN semen after its FRESH out of your cock, not an hour after you fucking nutted. This is a fucking OUTRAGE. Do you really expect me to not whip out my cock and jack off when i see a HOT sex scene in a movie? Either don't ban sex scenes in movies, or LET ME jack off in your theater, assholes.
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
Is Reynad a girly man? Is he Edward from Twilight?
twitchquotes:
Ｔｈｉｓ ｇｕｙ ｄｒｉｎｋｓ ｃｉｄｅｒ ａｎｄ ｃｌａｉｍｓ ｔｏ ｇｅｔ ｄｒｕｎｋ ｏｆｆ ｔｈｅｍ？ Ｉｓ ｈｅ ａ ｇｉｒｌｙ ｍａｎ？ Ｉｓ ｈｅ ａ ｇａｙ ｍａｎ？ Ｉｓ ｈｅ ｅｄｗａｒｄ ｆｒｏｍ ｔｗｉｌｉｇｈｔ？
twitch chat
Reynad
You guess it right, its Michael Santana
twitchquotes:
my hairs too long, 
but not my bananna, you guessed it right, its michael santana
but not my bananna, you guessed it right, its michael santana
twitch chat
imaqtpie
League of Legends
I want to sleep with you. No, i dont mean have sex
twitchquotes:
I want to sleep with you. No, i dont mean have sex. I mean sleep. Together. Under a blanket. In your bed. While your laying on my arm with my other hand on your tummy. With the window cracked, so its chilly and we have to cuddle closer. No talking, just the muffled cries.
twitch chat
Not your naked body
This guy's brofist is CRAZY
twitchquotes:
☑ This guy's brofist is CRAZY!” ☑ “My knuckles can't win against a fist like that” ☑ "He NEEDED precisely those 2 fingers to win" ☑ “He brofisted the only sub that could beat me” ☑ "He had the perfect fist ☑ “There was nothing I could fist” ☑ “I fisted that perfectly”
twitch chat
Kripp
You have to have a very high IQ to understand Bitcoin
sigh
To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand Bitcoin. Its future applications are extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of computing and economics most of its possible functions will go over a typical investor’s head. There’s also Sitoshis’s free market outlook, which is deftly woven into his creation- his personal philosophy draws heavily from Robert Malthus, for instance.
The shills understand this stuff; they have the intellectual capacity to truly appreciate the depths of this coin, to realise that it is not just speculation - it says something deep about LIFE. As a consequence people who dislike Bitcoin truly ARE idiots- of course they wouldn’t appreciate, for instance, the brilliance in Satoshi’s brilliant programming method - the “Blockchain,” which itself is a cryptic reference to Haber and Stornetta's Merkle trees. I’m smirking right now just imagining one of those addlepated simpletons scratching their heads in confusion as our lord and savior's genius wit unfolds itself on their computer screens. What fools.. how I pity them. 😂
And yes, by the way, i DO have a Bitcoin tattoo. And no, you cannot see it. It’s for the ladies’ eyes only- and even then they have to demonstrate that they’re within 5 IQ points of my own (preferably lower) beforehand. Nothin personnel kid 😎