Ok, this is ABSOLUTE fucking bullshit. I went to see Cars in the theater yesterday, and when Lightning McQueen got HOT with Sally in Radiator Springs, my boner engaged. When Lightning McQueen said "Ka-Chow!", I couldn't help it!!! I closed my eyes, and I TORE my dick to shreds, using whip like motions and pulled with great force. That was one of the best nuts I ever had, just thinking about it now gets me riled up. Thing is, I nutted all over the kid sitting right next to me, and his mom got all pissed at me, screaming at me for jacking off on her son. I told that bitch to shut the fuck up, and that jacking off is a natural, artistic, and beautiful process. You should BE HAPPY that my semen is all over your son, maybe he can learn a lesson or two about the culture and art of jacking off. HOWEVER, the movie theater managers didn't agree with me. They KICKED ME OUT of the movie theater, and I didn't even finish watching the Cars movie. Not only THAT, but they made me clean up my semen after it already dried out and solidified on the seats. THATS TORTURE!! Do you know how hard it is to clean semen after its dried out? You CLEAN semen after its FRESH out of your cock, not an hour after you fucking nutted. This is a fucking OUTRAGE. Do you really expect me to not whip out my cock and jack off when i see a HOT sex scene in a movie? Either don't ban sex scenes in movies, or LET ME jack off in your theater, assholes.
I used to be a real ad
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my brother is the best cook
twitchquotes:
my๐ฝ brother ๐ฑ is the best๐ฅcook ๐งโ๐ณbecause ๐ฃwith 2๏ธโฃ eggs๐ฅ๐ฅ1๏ธโฃsausage๐ญand a cup๐ฅof milk๐ผhe๐ฑcan fillโฌ๏ธmy๐ฉtummy๐คฐfor9๏ธโฃ๐ฃmonths๐
๐ฅฐ๐คฉ
twitch chat
Emoji Pasta
Can we keep the sexual posts to a fucking minimum?
Can we keep the sexual posts to a fucking minimum guys? My parents stumbled on this sub the other day and now I'm not even allowed to access Reddit anymore because of the sex talk they saw in here. This is not a peepee, poopoo and vajayjay fun house. We are not heathens whose only role in life is to fornicate and laugh about fornication and then ejaculate that nonsense, spurting and spewing this so called "humor" on each other like animals. This is a place of worship. Meme worship. God is not pleased with you all. Repent.
Eminem Stan lyrics
twitchquotes:
Dear kripp, I wrote you but still ain't callin' I left my cell, my pager, and my home phone at the bottom I sent two letters back in autumn, you must not-a got 'em There probably was a problem at the post office or somethin' Sometimes I scribble addresses too sloppy when I jot 'em But anyways, fuck it, what's been up? Man how's dexter? My girlfriend's pregnant too, I'm 'bout to be a father. My girlfriend's jealous 'cause I talk about you 24/7 But she don't know you like I know you kripp, no one does She don't know what it was like for people like us growin' up, you gotta call me man I'll be the biggest fan you'll ever lose Sincerely yours, Stan P.S. we should be together too
twitch chat
Kripp
OMG you're so FUNNY so quirky
๐๐OMG ๐ youโre so FUNNY ๐คฃ ๐คฃ so quirky ๐๐ ๐คช so different ๐คฉabsolute crackhead energy ๐คช๐คช comedic genius๐ง ๐ I literally canโt โ breathe ๐ญ iโm crying dude ๐ญ๐ญ that was so hilarious ๐ u really got the whole squad laughing ๐จโ๐ฉโ๐งโ๐ฆ๐๐ฉโ๐ฉโ๐ฆโ๐ฆ๐๐จโ๐จโ๐งโ๐ฆ high IQ comedy ๐ง ๐ง howโd you come up with that ๐ง๐ really original work ๐ never seen ๐ or heard ๐ anything like that before ๐ ๐ ๐ great ๐ job ๐๐ keep up the funnies ๐๐คฃ๐ i love you ๐ ๐ youโre my inspiration ๐คฉ๐คฉ๐คฉ if only i were as funny ๐ or smart ๐ค or cool ๐ as you ๐ but its whatever Iโll continue to watch ๐๐๐ your content ๐ฅ๐คณ because it โNEVER EVERโ fails to make me laugh ๐๐ thank you ๐ for existing ๐ and doing what you do โค๏ธโค๏ธ
Emoji Pasta
Cybrix virus strikes with thin crust of pizza
twitchquotes:
Hello my name is Pepperino Connors this will be my 127th day since the CYBRIX virus striked the Capitols of every importante cities of the World with thin crust of pizza. If someone would have warned us about this madness we could have saved the 0.000000001% of the population. Pls copy this madnerinos to warn them of the imninent threat
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Kripp