[Copypasta] I went to see Cars in the theater yesterday

Ok, this is ABSOLUTE fucking bullshit. I went to see Cars in the theater yesterday, and when Lightning McQueen got HOT with Sally in Radiator Springs, my boner engaged. When Lightning McQueen said "Ka-Chow!", I couldn't help it!!! I closed my eyes, and I TORE my dick to shreds, using whip like motions and pulled with great force. That was one of the best nuts I ever had, just thinking about it now gets me riled up. Thing is, I nutted all over the kid sitting right next to me, and his mom got all pissed at me, screaming at me for jacking off on her son. I told that bitch to shut the fuck up, and that jacking off is a natural, artistic, and beautiful process. You should BE HAPPY that my semen is all over your son, maybe he can learn a lesson or two about the culture and art of jacking off. HOWEVER, the movie theater managers didn't agree with me. They KICKED ME OUT of the movie theater, and I didn't even finish watching the Cars movie. Not only THAT, but they made me clean up my semen after it already dried out and solidified on the seats. THATS TORTURE!! Do you know how hard it is to clean semen after its dried out? You CLEAN semen after its FRESH out of your cock, not an hour after you fucking nutted. This is a fucking OUTRAGE. Do you really expect me to not whip out my cock and jack off when i see a HOT sex scene in a movie? Either don't ban sex scenes in movies, or LET ME jack off in your theater, assholes.
December 2020
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Eating chicken wings beside Tenz

twitchquotes: one time i was eating chicken wings beside tenz at a pub in canada, and he is wearing white sweatpants and the black and red SEN jersey and i was eating a flat and i took a bite out of it and the bone popped out and flip up in the air, and i swore to god that time slow down and i was like "omg holy shit, somebody stop this", i couldnt react whilst watching the bone spinning around and then the chicken wing drops but tenz moves his leg away while the bone was split-second away from touching his white sweatpants and i look dead in his eyes and said "omg dude, im so sorry" and tenz that totally silence all the time while enjoying his borovička look over towards me and said "i knew it would happen" then look away, stood up and walk off, i never been so awe in my life and then i knew this guy is and will be a great valorant player, this guy is cold as fuck like his in-game name and he is fast as hell its how he dodges the chicken wing bone and its how he fucked 100t balls deep while keeping his composure, its no coincidence, im telling you its all interconnected because what kind of person you're in real life, translated to how you are as a player in valorant.
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TenZ

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I WANT TO TOUCH THE KRIPPARRIAN

twitchquotes: iᴡaɴt ᴛo ᴛoᴜcʜ tʜe ᴋrɪpᴘaʀrɪaɴ
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Kripp

Imagine being Bill Gates right now.

Imagine being Bill Gates right now. You spend 30 years of your life and $50 billion of your own dollars supporting humanitarian causes. You directly save hundreds of thousands of lives in South East Asia by providing anti malaria netting to half of a continent, you drop infant mortality rates throughout the entire developing world by funding vaccine programs including vaccinating 40,000,000 children for polio, and, amongst a plethora of philanthropic endeavors, you fund free educational platforms like Khan Academy so people can have free access to high quality education. Then after donating half of your wealth to charity and pledging 90% of the remainder to charity in your will.. Arguably doing more to better life on earth for humanity than any other human being to ever live. You then hop on the internet only to find a million scientifically illiterate fucking imbeciles that are using the very computers you pretty much invented in the first place to call you a child murdering arch villian antichrist because they watched a YouTube video made by some other yokel with the comprehension of a fucking potato.
February 2021

Send me nudes. Not your naked body

twitchquotes: Send me nudes. Not your naked body, not your bare skin. I want your nudes, your naked truths. Your secrets. Your lies. Your fears. The unfiltered thoughts you kept hidden for years. I won't judge. I'll listen. For your truths are real and that's who I want to know.
twitch chat
February 2019

Not your naked body

Go mods, keep up the good work!

twitchquotes: The mods are doing a good job of stopping the copying and pasting trolls. It's a shame that people ruin an entire chat with their immature behavior. Go mods, keep up the good work!
twitch chat
September 2018

MODS

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