Ok, this is ABSOLUTE fucking bullshit. I went to see Cars in the theater yesterday, and when Lightning McQueen got HOT with Sally in Radiator Springs, my boner engaged. When Lightning McQueen said "Ka-Chow!", I couldn't help it!!! I closed my eyes, and I TORE my dick to shreds, using whip like motions and pulled with great force. That was one of the best nuts I ever had, just thinking about it now gets me riled up. Thing is, I nutted all over the kid sitting right next to me, and his mom got all pissed at me, screaming at me for jacking off on her son. I told that bitch to shut the fuck up, and that jacking off is a natural, artistic, and beautiful process. You should BE HAPPY that my semen is all over your son, maybe he can learn a lesson or two about the culture and art of jacking off. HOWEVER, the movie theater managers didn't agree with me. They KICKED ME OUT of the movie theater, and I didn't even finish watching the Cars movie. Not only THAT, but they made me clean up my semen after it already dried out and solidified on the seats. THATS TORTURE!! Do you know how hard it is to clean semen after its dried out? You CLEAN semen after its FRESH out of your cock, not an hour after you fucking nutted. This is a fucking OUTRAGE. Do you really expect me to not whip out my cock and jack off when i see a HOT sex scene in a movie? Either don't ban sex scenes in movies, or LET ME jack off in your theater, assholes.
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas
Kripp saved my life; Rania saved my sanity
twitchquotes:
I discovered Kripp after a terrible car accident. I was n a coma for weeks. One day, the nurse decided to play Twitch in the room, specifically to Kripp's channel. I immediately awoke. I went to mute the channel, but it was then that Rania brought Kripp his food, saving me the effort. Kripp saved my life. Rania saved my sanity.
twitch chat
Kripp
Boomer anthem
twitchquotes:
Please๐ณ rise ๐ for the ๐คจ national ๐ anthem ๐ถ of boomers ๐คช
๐บ๐บ๐บ
Video Games ๐ฎ cause violence ๐ก๐๐ผ,
Phone ๐ฑ bad ๐, book ๐ good ๐
I hate ๐ my wife ๐ฐ
Pause โธ๏ธ the Fortnite ๐ฅ please ๐ค
Funny ๐คฃ Facebook ๐ minion ๐คญ memes ๐คช
twitch chat
Emoji Pasta
This is an absolutely worthless comment
This is an absolutely worthless comment, and yet it has been upvoted. You have contributed absolutely nothing to any semblance of discussion, and your one word comment at the top has taken away from the others who have commented real things below you. I would kindly suggest that you delete your comment and let the others shine
Trumpet Skeleton of the Abyss
twitchquotes:
๐บ๐บ๐บ๐บ๐บ๐บ๐บ๐๐๐๐๐ IF YOU SEE THIS MESSAGE WHILE SCROLLING you have been visited by trumpet skeleton of the abyss. good bones and calcium will come to you but only if you reply "thank mr skeltal" to this message and pasta it to 3 times!! ๐๐๐บ๐บ๐บ๐บ๐บ๐บ๐บ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐
twitch chat
Classic
regardless of your channel, you need to remove your Pepe emotes
idk who needs to hear this but regardless of your channel, you need to remove your Pepe emotes. It doesnโt matter what your intent is, the peepee frog causes harm and I will never feel comfortable in your stream with them present.