[Copypasta] I went to see Cars in the theater yesterday

Ok, this is ABSOLUTE fucking bullshit. I went to see Cars in the theater yesterday, and when Lightning McQueen got HOT with Sally in Radiator Springs, my boner engaged. When Lightning McQueen said "Ka-Chow!", I couldn't help it!!! I closed my eyes, and I TORE my dick to shreds, using whip like motions and pulled with great force. That was one of the best nuts I ever had, just thinking about it now gets me riled up. Thing is, I nutted all over the kid sitting right next to me, and his mom got all pissed at me, screaming at me for jacking off on her son. I told that bitch to shut the fuck up, and that jacking off is a natural, artistic, and beautiful process. You should BE HAPPY that my semen is all over your son, maybe he can learn a lesson or two about the culture and art of jacking off. HOWEVER, the movie theater managers didn't agree with me. They KICKED ME OUT of the movie theater, and I didn't even finish watching the Cars movie. Not only THAT, but they made me clean up my semen after it already dried out and solidified on the seats. THATS TORTURE!! Do you know how hard it is to clean semen after its dried out? You CLEAN semen after its FRESH out of your cock, not an hour after you fucking nutted. This is a fucking OUTRAGE. Do you really expect me to not whip out my cock and jack off when i see a HOT sex scene in a movie? Either don't ban sex scenes in movies, or LET ME jack off in your theater, assholes.
December 2020
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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We wish you a Merry Krippmas

twitchquotes: ʕ ͡◊ ͜◉ ͡◊ ʔ We wish you a Merry Krippmas, We wish you a Merry Krippmas, We wish you a Merry Krippmas and a Salty New Year. Good top-deckings to you, whereever you are, Good top-deckings for Krippmas, and a Salty New Year. ʕ ͡◊ ͜◉ ͡◊ ʔ
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December 2014
Kripp

It's fucking astonishing Resident Evil was a successful franchise

twitchquotes: It's fucking astonishing Resident Evil was a successful franchise. Most of the series is mediocre or terrible. Out of the entire series 1/2/3/4/REmake/RER2 are classics. 5/7/Revelations 2 are really good. Revelations and the Outbreaks are cool. The rest are middling to trash. That includes all 3 Gun Survivor Games, Operation Raccoon City and Umbrella Corps, RE6, Resident Evil Gaiden, Code Veronica, Zero, and both Chronicles games. Plus all the phone garbage and the terrible films. Something having Resident Evil on it is like a 50/50 shot for quality.
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February 2020

mizkifThumbsUp

⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣠⣶⣶⣶⣤⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣠⣤⣄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⢠⣾⡟⠁⠄⠈⢻⣿⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣼⣿⡿⠋⠉⠻⣷⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣷⣄⣀⣠⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢰⣿⣿⣇⠄⠄⢠⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠄⠄ ⠄⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠄ ⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⣍⡻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⢛⣩⡍⣿⣿⣿⣷⠄ ⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⢿⠻⠮⠭⠭⠭⢭⣭⣭⣭⣛⣭⣭⠶⠿⠛⣽⢱⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄ ⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⢱⡀⠄⢰⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣾⢇⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠄ ⠄⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⢛⣭⣥⣭⣤⣼⣿⡇⠤⠤⠤⣤⣤⣤⡤⢞⣥⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⣛⣛⠃⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢇⡙⠻⢿⣶⣶⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⠿⢟⣛⠃⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⣼⣿⣿⡘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⣼⣿⣿⣶⣬⣭⣭⣭⣭⣭⣴⣾⣿⣿⡄⠄⠄ ⠄⣼⣿⣿⣿⣷⣜⣛⣛⣛⣛⣛⣀⡛⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠄ ⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣦⣭⣙⣛⣛⣩⣭⣭⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡀
November 2021
Mizkif

Sandown being investigated by the FBI

twitchquotes: ༼▀ل͜▀༽ The FBI is currently investigating a possible DDOS attack against Kripparian. It is believed that Sandown masterminded this attack against Kripparian's stream, in order to steal his viewers and promote his own streaming career. It is estimated that Kripparian has lost tens of millions of dollars in the DDOS attack, which Sandown allegedly had executed. Sandown refused to comment on the event when reporters swarmed his house, but he later released a brief statement denying the allegation. Kripparian spoke out later that night stating that he intends to sue Sandown if it is proven that he did commit this cyber crime. ༼▀ل͜▀༽
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January 2015
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Kripp commits sudoku over spilled OJ

twitchquotes: The Kripp goes to grocery store. He sees the OJ and yells : Well met ! An old lady next to him get so startled she drops her OJ. Kripp commits sudoku, overcome by grief. RIP in piece Kripp.
twitch chat
April 2014
Kripp
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