Ok, this is ABSOLUTE fucking bullshit. I went to see Cars in the theater yesterday, and when Lightning McQueen got HOT with Sally in Radiator Springs, my boner engaged. When Lightning McQueen said "Ka-Chow!", I couldn't help it!!! I closed my eyes, and I TORE my dick to shreds, using whip like motions and pulled with great force. That was one of the best nuts I ever had, just thinking about it now gets me riled up. Thing is, I nutted all over the kid sitting right next to me, and his mom got all pissed at me, screaming at me for jacking off on her son. I told that bitch to shut the fuck up, and that jacking off is a natural, artistic, and beautiful process. You should BE HAPPY that my semen is all over your son, maybe he can learn a lesson or two about the culture and art of jacking off. HOWEVER, the movie theater managers didn't agree with me. They KICKED ME OUT of the movie theater, and I didn't even finish watching the Cars movie. Not only THAT, but they made me clean up my semen after it already dried out and solidified on the seats. THATS TORTURE!! Do you know how hard it is to clean semen after its dried out? You CLEAN semen after its FRESH out of your cock, not an hour after you fucking nutted. This is a fucking OUTRAGE. Do you really expect me to not whip out my cock and jack off when i see a HOT sex scene in a movie? Either don't ban sex scenes in movies, or LET ME jack off in your theater, assholes.
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
Perfect LUL Pyramid
The Story of Kanye West
After a long day of work, Kanye West goes to his Kanye Nest to take his Kanye Rest. He wakes up feeling his Kanye Best. Then he’ll get Kanye Dressed on his Kanye Vest to go on a Kanye Quest. He goes to church and becomes Kanye Blessed, then to a hotel room to be a Kanye Guest. Then to school to take his Kanye Test. He forgot to brush his teeth. Did he run out of Kanye Crest? His neighbor stole it, what a Kanye Pest. He then puts on some axe for some Kanye zest and goes to the bar puffing out his Kanye chest. Gets drunk into a Kanye mess and goes home to the the Kanye West part of town. He realized his life was a wreck, and was feeling a little Kanye depressed. “My life sucks he Kanye digressed. He decided to get some Italian to he flew to Kanye Trieste. He got some pasta and started to Kanye digest. You should get some Kanye rest his wife Kanye pressed. Instead he went to a Kanye fest. He then realized he needed to go to Dallas for his competition, so he went to the airport and hopped on Kanye southwest, got some Kanye rest, and the next morning was feeling ready for his Kanye contest. Or at least he Kanye guessed. On the day of the competition he was feeling a little Kanye stressed. But in the end the judges were Kanye impressed. For his performance he was awarded with the Kanye chest, clearly identified with the Kanye crest. There ends the story of Kanye West.
Kanye West
When RICK talk, my hand automatically go to my ears
twitchquotes:
Ｗｈｅｎ Ｒ I C K Ｔaｌｋ， Ｍｙ Ｈａｎｄ Ａｕｔｏｍａｔｉｃａｌｌｙ Ｇｏ Ｔｏ Ｍｙ Ｅａｒｓ． Ｉ Ｈｅａｒ Ｉｇｎｏｒａｎｃｅ Ｉｎ Ｅｖｅｒｙ Ｓｅｎｔｅｎｃｅ Ａｎｄ Ｆｅｅｌ Ｌｉｋｅ Ｉ＇ｍ Ｈａｖｉｎｇ Ａｎ Ａｎｅｕｒｙｓｍ． Ａｌｌ Ｂｅｃｏｍｉｎｇ Ｓｈｕｔ Ｔｈｅ Ｆｕｃｋ Ｕｐ
twitch chat
Kripp
Take the ʕ•͡ᴥ•ʔ or the ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ
twitchquotes:
༼ ▀̿Ĺ̯▀̿ ̿ ༽ Hey Kripp, You take the ʕ•͡ᴥ•ʔ - the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ - you stay in Dongerland and I show you how deep the arena-hole goes. ༼ ▀̿Ĺ̯▀̿ ̿ ༽
twitch chat
Kripp
Show us THE decks
twitchquotes:
Enough with the bullshit Kripp. We all know you've hid away the best decks for this expansion to be showing off to the ladies, and we in chat find that really weird. All we want is to watch you win, and yet you play some bullshit hunter for some bullshit reason and all you do is lose. Show us the decks Kripp. Show us THE decks.
twitch chat
Kripp