Ok, this is ABSOLUTE fucking bullshit. I went to see Cars in the theater yesterday, and when Lightning McQueen got HOT with Sally in Radiator Springs, my boner engaged. When Lightning McQueen said "Ka-Chow!", I couldn't help it!!! I closed my eyes, and I TORE my dick to shreds, using whip like motions and pulled with great force. That was one of the best nuts I ever had, just thinking about it now gets me riled up. Thing is, I nutted all over the kid sitting right next to me, and his mom got all pissed at me, screaming at me for jacking off on her son. I told that bitch to shut the fuck up, and that jacking off is a natural, artistic, and beautiful process. You should BE HAPPY that my semen is all over your son, maybe he can learn a lesson or two about the culture and art of jacking off. HOWEVER, the movie theater managers didn't agree with me. They KICKED ME OUT of the movie theater, and I didn't even finish watching the Cars movie. Not only THAT, but they made me clean up my semen after it already dried out and solidified on the seats. THATS TORTURE!! Do you know how hard it is to clean semen after its dried out? You CLEAN semen after its FRESH out of your cock, not an hour after you fucking nutted. This is a fucking OUTRAGE. Do you really expect me to not whip out my cock and jack off when i see a HOT sex scene in a movie? Either don't ban sex scenes in movies, or LET ME jack off in your theater, assholes.
I used to be a real ad
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Iron Man
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I’m struggling to accept religious people as human (/r/atheism parody)
This has been growing in me for a while, but the more I see what’s going on in africa and the middle east, and all the bullshit around the world in the name of religion, I’ve gotten to a point where I’m looking at all religious people as not even human. I don’t know if I quite see them as livestock or wild animals or whatever, but it’s pretty close to it. I still don’t understand why people say to respect other people’s religious beliefs. I certainly don’t. I actually think religious beliefs should be mocked, ripped apart, criticized relentlessly, and actually probably be made illegal. I hope to see a future where believers are looked at as mentally ill and mentally retarded, who need to be locked up and treated, or sent to jail. I’m just so disgusted by all of them.
FeelsGoodMan
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠉⠉⠉⠉⠛⠻⣿⣿⠿⠛⠛⠙⠛⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣀⡀⠀⠈⢄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠀⠀⠀⠔⠉⠁⠀⠀⠈⠉⠓⢼⡤⠔⠒⠀⠐⠒⠢⠌⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠤⣒⠶⠤⠭⠭⢝⡢⣄⢤⣄⣒⡶⠶⣶⣢⡝⢿⣿
⡿⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠲⠮⢕⣽⠖⢩⠉⠙⣷⣶⣮⡍⢉⣴⠆⣭⢉⠑⣶⣮⣅⢻
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠒⠒⠻⣿⣄⠤⠘⢃⣿⣿⡿⠫⣿⣿⣄⠤⠘⢃⣿⣿⠿⣿
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠓⠤⠭⣥⣀⣉⡩⡥⠴⠃⠀⠈⠉⠁⠈⠉⠁⣴⣾⣿
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠤⠔⠊⠀⠀⠀⠓⠲⡤⠤⠖⠐⢿⣿⣿⣿
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⣿⣿
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⡻⢷⣤⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣘⣿⣿
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⡀⠀⠙⢿⣷⣽⣽⣛⣟⣻⠷⠶⢶⣦⣤⣤⣤⣤⣶⠾⠟⣯⣿⣿
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠂⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠙⠛⠻⠿⠿⠿⠿⠶⠶⠶⠶⠾⣿⣟⣿⣿⣿
⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣶⣤⣀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣤⣟⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
Pepe
Karma from the vegan produce co-op
twitchquotes:
Greetings, kripp! Blessings! It's Karma from the vegan produce co-op. I didn't know you were some kind of internet superstar hahahaha. Send me an astral projection, dude. Btw, did you ever find a way to make tofu edible? It's been a big challenge for me hahah. You have such a kind aura. It's so calming to see you again. You have the address for my drum circle. Peace, my fellow
twitch chat
Kripp
Evil Jerma
⠉⠉⠉⣿⡿⠿⠛⠋⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⣻⣩⣉⠉⠉
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⡀⠄⠄⠉⠉⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢤⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠄⠄⠄
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⣿⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠠⣾⣿⣷⣄⣀⣀⣀⣠⣄⣢⣤⣤⣾⣿⡀⠄
⣿⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣹⣿⣿⡿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢟⢁⣠
⣿⣿⣄⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠉⣉⣉⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣥⡀⠉⢁⡥⠈
⣿⣿⣿⢹⣇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠒⠛⠛⠋⠉⠉⠛⢻⣿⣿⣷⢀⡭⣤⠄
⣿⣿⣿⡼⣿⠷⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣀⣠⣿⣟⢷⢾⣊⠄⠄
⠉⠉⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⣈⣉⣭⣽⡿⠟⢉⢴⣿⡇⣺⣿⣷
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠁⠐⢊⣡⣴⣾⣥⣿⣿⣿
Jerma985