Ok, this is ABSOLUTE fucking bullshit. I went to see Cars in the theater yesterday, and when Lightning McQueen got HOT with Sally in Radiator Springs, my boner engaged. When Lightning McQueen said "Ka-Chow!", I couldn't help it!!! I closed my eyes, and I TORE my dick to shreds, using whip like motions and pulled with great force. That was one of the best nuts I ever had, just thinking about it now gets me riled up. Thing is, I nutted all over the kid sitting right next to me, and his mom got all pissed at me, screaming at me for jacking off on her son. I told that bitch to shut the fuck up, and that jacking off is a natural, artistic, and beautiful process. You should BE HAPPY that my semen is all over your son, maybe he can learn a lesson or two about the culture and art of jacking off. HOWEVER, the movie theater managers didn't agree with me. They KICKED ME OUT of the movie theater, and I didn't even finish watching the Cars movie. Not only THAT, but they made me clean up my semen after it already dried out and solidified on the seats. THATS TORTURE!! Do you know how hard it is to clean semen after its dried out? You CLEAN semen after its FRESH out of your cock, not an hour after you fucking nutted. This is a fucking OUTRAGE. Do you really expect me to not whip out my cock and jack off when i see a HOT sex scene in a movie? Either don't ban sex scenes in movies, or LET ME jack off in your theater, assholes.
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas
American Freedom speaking to Kripp
twitchquotes:
ʜᴇʟʟᴏ ᴋʀɪᴘᴘ ᴛʜɪs ɪs ᴀᴍᴇʀɪᴄᴀɴ ғʀᴇᴇᴅᴏᴍ. ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴄʜᴀᴛ ғɪʟᴛᴇʀs ᴀʀᴇ ʀᴜɪɴɪɴɢ ᴛʜᴇ ᴄʜᴀᴛ sᴏ ᴘʟᴇᴀsᴇ ғɪx ɪᴛ ʙᴇғᴏʀᴇ ɪᴛ ᴛᴀᴋᴇs ᴏᴠᴇʀ. sɪɴᴄᴇʀᴇʟʏ *** ****. ᴘʟs ɴᴏ ᴄᴏᴘʏ ᴀʟ ᴘᴀᴄɪɴᴏ ***ɪɴᴏ ****ʀɪɴᴏ.
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Kripp
Ultra Variety Pack bag of Dongers
twitchquotes:
ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ ༼ ºل͟º ༽ ୧༼ ͡◉ل͜ ͡◉༽୨ (ง ͠° ل͜ °)ง ヽ༼ʘ̚ل͜ʘ̚༽ﾉ୧༼ಠ益ಠ༽୨乁( ◔ ౪◔)ㄏ─=≡Σ((( つ◕ل͜◕)つ (ง •̀_•́)ง┌(° ͜ʖ͡°)┘(ง ͠ ͠° ل͜ °)งᕙ༼◕ل͜◕༽ᕗ Sorry, I dropped my Ultra Variety Pack™ bag of Dongers. ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ ༼ ºل͟º ༽ ୧༼ ͡◉ل͜ ͡◉༽୨ (ง ͠° ل͜ °)ง ヽ༼ʘ̚ل͜ʘ̚༽ﾉ୧༼ಠ益ಠ༽୨乁( ◔ ౪◔)ㄏ─=≡Σ((( つ◕ل͜◕)つ (ง •̀_•́)ง┌(° ͜ʖ͡°)┘(ง ͠ ͠° ل͜ °)งᕙ༼◕ل͜◕༽ᕗ
twitch chat
Kripp
Jared returns home from North Korea to Tobito
twitchquotes:
The year is 2028, Jared returns home to Nantucket after serving his 3rd tour in North Korea. Victorious but broken, he exhales hard as he looks up to see his quaint house on the hill. It isn't until that his eyes take in the grace and beauty of Tobito Flatdickacini that he finds the will to continue living. That night they dined on rum and cheese by candlelight and reminisced of 2016. The time of Harambe, the quarrel they had that lead to JABITO, and their asexual child, Plankie. 
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Fate_Twisted_NA
League of Legends
Your copypasta is not good enough
twitchquotes:
If you are posting the same copypasta more than once every few minutes, it means that your copypasta is not good enough to be self sustaining, and therefore is subpar. Either step you game up, or just gtfo and let real chat experts do their work.
twitch chat
Reynad
bbz will u luv me 4evr
gurl was walkin2 skewl wit her bf n they were crossin da rode.
she sed "bbz will u luv me 4evr"
he said "NO.." ... da gurl cryed N ran across da rode b4 da green man came on the sine.
boy was cryin and went to pic up her body.
she was ded.
he whispered 2 her corpse "I ment 2 sey i will luv u FIVE-ever..." (dat mean he luv her moar den 4evr)
xxx~*...LIKE DIS IF U CRY EVRY TIME...~*xxx