Ok, this is ABSOLUTE fucking bullshit. I went to see Cars in the theater yesterday, and when Lightning McQueen got HOT with Sally in Radiator Springs, my boner engaged. When Lightning McQueen said "Ka-Chow!", I couldn't help it!!! I closed my eyes, and I TORE my dick to shreds, using whip like motions and pulled with great force. That was one of the best nuts I ever had, just thinking about it now gets me riled up. Thing is, I nutted all over the kid sitting right next to me, and his mom got all pissed at me, screaming at me for jacking off on her son. I told that bitch to shut the fuck up, and that jacking off is a natural, artistic, and beautiful process. You should BE HAPPY that my semen is all over your son, maybe he can learn a lesson or two about the culture and art of jacking off. HOWEVER, the movie theater managers didn't agree with me. They KICKED ME OUT of the movie theater, and I didn't even finish watching the Cars movie. Not only THAT, but they made me clean up my semen after it already dried out and solidified on the seats. THATS TORTURE!! Do you know how hard it is to clean semen after its dried out? You CLEAN semen after its FRESH out of your cock, not an hour after you fucking nutted. This is a fucking OUTRAGE. Do you really expect me to not whip out my cock and jack off when i see a HOT sex scene in a movie? Either don't ban sex scenes in movies, or LET ME jack off in your theater, assholes.
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas
Where can I find the NA skins
twitchquotes:
Hey Chat! I noticed most teams have skins for their region SKT for Korea FNC for Europe And apparently IG will be getting some for China Where can I find the NA skins
Hey Chat! I noticed most teams have skins for their region SKT for Korea FNC for Europe And apparently IG will be getting some for China Where can I find the NA skins
twitch chat
Riot Games
League of Legends
EU vs NA
No, you are not a āMan of Cultureā
No, you are not a āMan of Cultureā. You are a 19 year old who has no romantic partner because you have a chronic addiction to anime porn where the characters dont look or sound any older than 13, seriously, the stuff you are watching should be illegal. Getting off to fictional drawings of ambiguous age THREE times a day is not even remotely cultured, it just makes you a sex-addicted pedophile. Whatās gotten into you? Youāre better than this.
Quit my job from the burritos factory to play League
twitchquotes:
Dear Qtipie Im Osvaldo Enchilada, Im from a very far away country named Mexico (the bornplace of fabbby) and I really want to become a pro, like you, Im gona quit my job from the burritos factory, and start playing, Im in silver IV but I will be challenger, and be a hero to my 7 childs, god bless and never stop burning those marijuanas boy.
twitch chat
imaqtpie
MLK Fortnite event helped my little brother stop his racism
My little brother (10) has always been one for those toxic semi racist squeakers youād find on Xbox lobbyās. Iāve walked in on him saying the n word to people in squads and heard him say the word when in a fit of rage. Iāve tried to tell him thatās hurtful and not acceptable at all but he doesnāt listen to me and insists he isnāt racist and that heās just saying it because heās angry. Iāve told my parents and they say the same thing, but they never enforce punishment because he is doing excellent in school due to the incentive of using his Xbox. Then the mlk event happened and it allowed him to see the history of segregation this country has had. It allowed me to show him the history of the words he used and how they were used to demean African Americans. He promised me he wouldnāt say it again Thank you epic, while most say the event was tone deaf, it really helped me teach my brother a lesson.
Fortnite
Ingrid Newkirk, leader of the largest animal rights group
twitchquotes:
Ingrid Newkirk here,leader of the largest animal rights group,PETA.How DARE you soil that innocent dog's ears with the word "weiner" and "Dolly"?That's like excessively cursing at a newborn.The cops should be there soon.Bye.
twitch chat
imaqtpie