Ok, this is ABSOLUTE fucking bullshit. I went to see Cars in the theater yesterday, and when Lightning McQueen got HOT with Sally in Radiator Springs, my boner engaged. When Lightning McQueen said "Ka-Chow!", I couldn't help it!!! I closed my eyes, and I TORE my dick to shreds, using whip like motions and pulled with great force. That was one of the best nuts I ever had, just thinking about it now gets me riled up. Thing is, I nutted all over the kid sitting right next to me, and his mom got all pissed at me, screaming at me for jacking off on her son. I told that bitch to shut the fuck up, and that jacking off is a natural, artistic, and beautiful process. You should BE HAPPY that my semen is all over your son, maybe he can learn a lesson or two about the culture and art of jacking off. HOWEVER, the movie theater managers didn't agree with me. They KICKED ME OUT of the movie theater, and I didn't even finish watching the Cars movie. Not only THAT, but they made me clean up my semen after it already dried out and solidified on the seats. THATS TORTURE!! Do you know how hard it is to clean semen after its dried out? You CLEAN semen after its FRESH out of your cock, not an hour after you fucking nutted. This is a fucking OUTRAGE. Do you really expect me to not whip out my cock and jack off when i see a HOT sex scene in a movie? Either don't ban sex scenes in movies, or LET ME jack off in your theater, assholes.
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More Copypastas
Can I mod your chat?
twitchquotes:
Can I mod your chat? I graduated top of my class in the US Navy kappa’s, I’ve been involved in numerous raids on Kripparrian’s chat with over 300 confirmed bans. I’m trained in copy pasta warfare and I’m the top mod on Twitch.
twitch chat
Kripp
MODS
spagootie
sometimes i like to pronounce spaghetti as "spagootie" and it has been working out fantastically so far. honestly, this single change has improved my life more than you could ever imagine. i highly suggest everyone try this out and see where your life goes. probably make all your dreams come true in like 5 business days.
next time you have a big bowl of piping hot marina drenched pasta in front of you say "spagootie time!!" or maybe something like "im so ready for this spagootie!" and see where the magic will take you.
Hello, Kripparrian, this is your ass, Assarrian
twitchquotes:
Hello, Kripparrian, this is your ass, Assarrian, with a humble request to stop talking out of me. I know it's fun to pretend like you have any idea what you're talking about, and to pull random statistics out of me to support whatever point you're awkwardly trying to make, but come on! I have a hard enough time dealing with the vegan garbage in your digestive tract! Do us both a favor and use your brain once in a while! Thanks! - Assarrian.
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Kripp
Classic
Hey Kripp. it's Chris from Overwolf
twitchquotes:
Hey Kripp. it's Chris from Overwolf. We're sorry to say we have to terminate your sponsor contract due to the fact that you consistently keep losing, even though you're using decks drafted through the HearthArena app. You are simply bringing us too much unneeded bad reputation, so we figure we'd just channel the funds we spend on you on a better player like Amaz. Sorry for this, and good luck in the future.
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Kripp
Hearthstone
ARAM, aka "Americans Running Around Mid"
twitchquotes:
ARAM, aka "Americans Running Around Mid," is a strategy employed by many LCS teams in order to tilt their opponents. However, its successfulness is questionable, especially since it made TL lose the fastest ever international Bo5.
twitch chat