Ok, this is ABSOLUTE fucking bullshit. I went to see Cars in the theater yesterday, and when Lightning McQueen got HOT with Sally in Radiator Springs, my boner engaged. When Lightning McQueen said "Ka-Chow!", I couldn't help it!!! I closed my eyes, and I TORE my dick to shreds, using whip like motions and pulled with great force. That was one of the best nuts I ever had, just thinking about it now gets me riled up. Thing is, I nutted all over the kid sitting right next to me, and his mom got all pissed at me, screaming at me for jacking off on her son. I told that bitch to shut the fuck up, and that jacking off is a natural, artistic, and beautiful process. You should BE HAPPY that my semen is all over your son, maybe he can learn a lesson or two about the culture and art of jacking off. HOWEVER, the movie theater managers didn't agree with me. They KICKED ME OUT of the movie theater, and I didn't even finish watching the Cars movie. Not only THAT, but they made me clean up my semen after it already dried out and solidified on the seats. THATS TORTURE!! Do you know how hard it is to clean semen after its dried out? You CLEAN semen after its FRESH out of your cock, not an hour after you fucking nutted. This is a fucking OUTRAGE. Do you really expect me to not whip out my cock and jack off when i see a HOT sex scene in a movie? Either don't ban sex scenes in movies, or LET ME jack off in your theater, assholes.
What happened to this ad? :(
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DANK MEMES, ATTEND ME
twitchquotes:
( ง ͠° ͟ʖ ͡°)ง DANK MEMES, ATTEND ME (ง ͠° ͟ʖ ͡°)ง (ง ◉◡◔)ง READY, CHAT! (ง ◉◡◔)ง
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Reynad
Ben Shapiro Kung Fu Fighting
Let's say for a minute, that hypothetically, everyone was in fact kung fu fighting. Now statistically speaking of course, this is impossible. Now hypothetically if they were, hypothetically of course. Now, would they all be performing the same so called Kung Fu move? Statistically speaking that is highly unlikely. This would also, hypothetically, be quite dangerous if it were to actually occur. Coming from a medical official, my wife, who is a doctor, she says that hypothetically, this would be dangerous. So, logically, this would not happen. So in fact, there is no way, impossible even, that everybody was Kung Fu Fighting.
Ben Shapiro
Kripp Jong Un
twitchquotes:
໒( •̀ ╭ ͟ʖ╮ •́ )७ It is me Kripp Jong Un. I demand that all showings of "Topdecking and Wrecking 3: Gripped and Kripped" be removed immediately. Those who refuse will be pepperonied ໒( •̀ ╭ ͟ʖ╮ •́ )७
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Kripp
KAMEHAMEHAAAAAAA u thru the keyboard
twitchquotes:
listen up ok nobody even likes u the only reason i dont ddos u nto oblivion is cuz ur not even worth my bandwif u fkn fgt retard im srs if u say 1 more thing u wont even get to get out of ur seat cuz i wil KAMEHAMEHAAAAAAA u thru the keyboard n shoc ur fingers so bad u will say sry but its too late for that boyo
twitch chat
Kripp
I fucked Up DVD
Earlier today I was really horny, and I saw what I thought to be a blank DVD. I thought, DVDs have a tight hole, they might feel pretty good. So I put my soft pp into the hole of the DVD, and for a few seconds as I started getting harder, it felt pretty good, but then, once I was fully erect, it started being painful. My pp was stuck in the DVD, and I had to break it in half to get if out. It was then when I flipped the broken DVD over and realized that it was not a blank DVD, but a copy of the Pixar movie Up.. Well guys, guess I fucked up.