Ok, this is ABSOLUTE fucking bullshit. I went to see Cars in the theater yesterday, and when Lightning McQueen got HOT with Sally in Radiator Springs, my boner engaged. When Lightning McQueen said "Ka-Chow!", I couldn't help it!!! I closed my eyes, and I TORE my dick to shreds, using whip like motions and pulled with great force. That was one of the best nuts I ever had, just thinking about it now gets me riled up. Thing is, I nutted all over the kid sitting right next to me, and his mom got all pissed at me, screaming at me for jacking off on her son. I told that bitch to shut the fuck up, and that jacking off is a natural, artistic, and beautiful process. You should BE HAPPY that my semen is all over your son, maybe he can learn a lesson or two about the culture and art of jacking off. HOWEVER, the movie theater managers didn't agree with me. They KICKED ME OUT of the movie theater, and I didn't even finish watching the Cars movie. Not only THAT, but they made me clean up my semen after it already dried out and solidified on the seats. THATS TORTURE!! Do you know how hard it is to clean semen after its dried out? You CLEAN semen after its FRESH out of your cock, not an hour after you fucking nutted. This is a fucking OUTRAGE. Do you really expect me to not whip out my cock and jack off when i see a HOT sex scene in a movie? Either don't ban sex scenes in movies, or LET ME jack off in your theater, assholes.
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More Copypastas
Expect some Netflix server issues
twitchquotes:
Just a quick reminder. If you are a Netflix subscriber in the US East area - expect some server issues. Lots of single females are going to spend their day at home watching netflix and eating chocolate beacuse mason is not going to go out with them on valentines day because he is focused on getting Top 10 Rank in Dota 2.
twitch chat
masondota2
Dota 2
Sneakily squeak until light of dawn
twitchquotes:
When I fart Kripp feel the fart. He hard press A and D and try to avoid the fart. But Kripp smell the fart. My viscosity meter is always highest when Kripp in the room. We sneakily squeak until light of dawn. All becoming well met.
twitch chat
Kripp
VEGAN MAN
twitchquotes:
VEGAN MAN 🌊 😍 Take me by the hand ✋ lead me to the spam that you understand 🙌 🌊 VEGAN MAN 🌊 😍 The voyage 🚲 to the top of the 🌎deck is a real trip 👌 🌊 VEGAN MAN 🌊 😍 The crust of a Romanian man 👳 fueled by the banned 👍 Soaking up the 💦 salt in the spam 💯
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Kripp
Emoji Pasta
forsenCoomer
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢛⡛⠛⠛⠛⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⡹⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣡⠋⠄⠄⣀⣴⣶⣦⣀⣿⣿⠿⢟
⣿⣷⣬⣛⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢹⣯⠄⠄⣼⣿⣟⠙⢻⣿⠈⣴⣾⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣯⠍⣫⡭⠉⠻⢿⣿⣧⢻⣮⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⠿⢚⣱⣰⣾⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠅⡀⠟⣱⣿⠿⠸⣿⣿⣧⡄⣤⡜⠛⣿⣿⣤⣀⣾⢘⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢯⠖⣶⡇⣾⢏⣥⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣥⡉⢳⣆⠈⠛⠿⠟⢃⣸⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⡿⢟⠶⣣⣾⣿⢇⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⣙⣛⣛⣃⡺⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⠓⢁⣾⣿⡟⣥⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⡹⣿⣿
⣿⡏⣸⣿⡿⢏⣈⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⢻⣿
⣿⢃⣿⢛⣤⣾⣿⣿⣦⣍⡛⠟⣤⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⣿⣧⠘⣿
⡟⡿⢣⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢃⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⣿⣿⠄⣿
⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⢏⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢤⣶⠄⣿
Forsen
Emote
4D mindgames Kripp is playing with his opponent
twitchquotes:
What chat is glossing over with this "misplay" is the 4D mindgames Kripp is playing with his opponent. He's making the opponent think he's a terrible player, and therefore more likely to make bad choices, when in reality he's playing against Kripparian the master of salt, and salty plays. He's a real wiz at juking people in a children's card game.
twitch chat
Kripp