[Copypasta] mattress/furniture stores exist in a quantum superposition

I'm convinced that mattress/furniture stores exist in a quantum superposition of grand opening and going out of business sale. It is both and neither at once until an observer records the state at which point it becomes one or the other. But because you know exactly where the store is located, you cannot know how fast it is going out of business because of your uncertainty about its business momentum. All around us, all the time pairs of anti-discount mattress stores and discount mattress stores are popping into existence, forming the quantum memory foam that is the basis for the universe. Without the pressure of this quantum memory foam strip malls would collapse. We can see evidence of this when a pair is created such that one half is within the sales radius of a supermassive furniture store like Ikea-- one of them is pulled in and the other escapes as a Hawking mattress store.
December 2020
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

I saw Kripp at the tavern yesterday

twitchquotes: I saw Kripp at the tavern yesterday. I told him it would be cool to see him play arena again. He said, โ€œWhy, so you can snipe me at 8 wins?โ€ I was taken aback, and all I could say was โ€œHuh?โ€ but he kept cutting me off and going โ€œhuh? huh? huh?โ€ and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I thought he was going for a brofist, so I extended my hand only to have it slapped away in disgust. Later on I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen murlocs in his hands without paying.
twitch chat
July 2020
Kripp

Hearthstone

xQc trolls Among Us

twitchquotes: Hey Chat, I am pretty sad that xQc trolls this game. He was such a good Crewmate before and now he is just ruining the game. If he don't want to play correctly he just should leave the lobby. I am actual really mad right now, maybe I even close the stream. I am very concerd that he is developing into a toxic Troll.
twitch chat
November 2020
xQcOW

Among Us / Amogus

Do you guys mind not spamming the chat so much?

twitchquotes: ๐”ป๐•  ๐•ช๐• ๐•ฆ ๐•˜๐•ฆ๐•ช๐•ค ๐•ž๐•š๐•Ÿ๐•• ๐•Ÿ๐• ๐•ฅ ๐•ค๐•ก๐•’๐•ž๐•ž๐•š๐•Ÿ๐•˜ ๐•ฅ๐•™๐•– ๐•”๐•™๐•’๐•ฅ ๐•ค๐•  ๐•ž๐•ฆ๐•”๐•™? ๐•€'๐•ž ๐•ฃ๐•–๐•’๐•๐•๐•ช ๐•ฅ๐•ฃ๐•ช๐•š๐•Ÿ๐•˜ ๐•ฅ๐•  ๐•ก๐•’๐•ช ๐•’๐•ฅ๐•ฅ๐•–๐•Ÿ๐•ฅ๐•š๐• ๐•Ÿ ๐•ฅ๐•  ๐•ฅ๐•™๐•– ๐•ค๐•ฅ๐•ฃ๐•–๐•’๐•ž ๐•’๐•Ÿ๐•• ๐•ช๐• ๐•ฆ ๐•˜๐•ฆ๐•ช๐•ค ๐•’๐•ฃ๐•– ๐••๐•š๐•ค๐•ฅ๐•ฃ๐•’๐•”๐•ฅ๐•š๐•Ÿ๐•˜ ๐•ž๐•–. ๐•€๐•— ๐•ช๐• ๐•ฆ ๐•˜๐•ฆ๐•ช๐•ค ๐•ฃ๐•–๐•’๐•๐•๐•ช ๐•”๐•’๐•ฃ๐•–๐•• ๐•’๐•“๐• ๐•ฆ๐•ฅ ๐•ฅ๐•™๐•– ๐•ข๐•ฆ๐•’๐•๐•š๐•ฅ๐•ช ๐• ๐•— ๐•ฅ๐•™๐•– ๐•ค๐•ฅ๐•ฃ๐•–๐•’๐•ž ๐• ๐•ฃ ๐•„๐• ๐• ๐•Ÿ ๐•™๐•š๐•ž๐•ค๐•–๐•๐•— ๐•ช๐• ๐•ฆ ๐•จ๐• ๐•ฆ๐•๐•• ๐•ค๐•ฅ๐• ๐•ก ๐•ฅ๐•™๐•– ๐•ค๐•ก๐•’๐•ž๐•ž๐•š๐•Ÿ๐•˜ ๐•’๐•Ÿ๐•• ๐•”๐• ๐•ก๐•ช๐•š๐•Ÿ๐•˜ ๐•’๐•Ÿ๐•• ๐•ก๐•’๐•ค๐•ฅ๐•š๐•Ÿ๐•˜. ๐”พ๐• ๐••, ๐•€ ๐•ค๐•จ๐•–๐•’๐•ฃ ๐•ช๐• ๐•ฆ ๐•˜๐•ฆ๐•ช๐•ค ๐•’๐•ฃ๐•– ๐•ฅ๐•™๐•– ๐•จ๐• ๐•ฃ๐•ค๐•ฅ ๐•ก๐•’๐•ฃ๐•ฅ ๐• ๐•— ๐•ฅ๐•จ๐•š๐•ฅ๐•”๐•™. โ„‚๐• ๐•ฆ๐•๐••๐•Ÿ'๐•ฅ ๐•ช๐• ๐•ฆ ๐•›๐•ฆ๐•ค๐•ฅ ๐•ฅ๐•ฃ๐•ช ๐•ฅ๐•  ๐•“๐•– ๐•ž๐•’๐•ฅ๐•ฆ๐•ฃ๐•– ๐•—๐• ๐•ฃ ๐• ๐•Ÿ๐•”๐•– ๐•š๐•Ÿ ๐•ช๐• ๐•ฆ๐•ฃ ๐•๐•š๐•—๐•–?
twitch chat
February 2018
MOONMOON

Mario Kart banana peel

โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โฃดโฃถโฃถโ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โฃฟโ €โขธโฃ„โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โขฐโ ›โ €โ €โ นโฃงโ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โฃฟโ €โ €โ €โ €โฃฟโ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โฃฟโข โ €โก„โ €โฃฟโ €โข€โฃคโฃคโ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โขฐโกโ šโ €โ ƒโ €โฃฟโฃดโ žโ ‰โขนโ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โฃ€โก€โ €โ €โ €โ €โข€โฃธโ ‡โ €โ €โ €โ €โ ˆโ €โ €โฃ€โกฟโ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โขธโฃŸโ ›โขณโฃคโฃคโกถโ ›โ ƒโ €โฃ โ €โ €โ €โ šโฃถโกพโ Ÿโ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ ‰โขทโฃคโฃ€โฃ€โฃ€โฃ€โฃ โกพโ ปโฃงโก€โ €โ €โข˜โฃทโฃ„โฃ€โฃคโฃ„โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ ˆโ ‰โ ‰โ ‰โ ‰โ ‰โ €โ €โ ˜โ ปโฃฆโฃคโฃˆโฃโฃ€โฃ โฃพโ ‹โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ ‰โ ‰โ ‰โ ‰โ ‰โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €
April 2021

Naxx beta key on Kripp's Pornhub profile

twitchquotes: ๏ผฎ๏ผก๏ผธ๏ผธใ€€๏ผข๏ผฅ๏ผด๏ผกใ€€๏ผฏ๏ผต๏ผด Iษดา“แดส€แดแด€แด›ษชแดษด แดษด สœแดแดก แด›แด ษขแด‡แด› แด€ า“ส€แด‡แด‡ Nแด€xx แด‹แด‡ส แด›แด แด‡ษดแด›แด‡ส€ ส™แด‡แด›แด€ แด„แด€ษด ส™แด‡ า“แดแดœษดแด… แดษด Kส€ษชแด˜แด˜แด€ส€ษชแด€ษด's แด˜แดส€ษดสœแดœส™ แด˜ส€แดา“ษชสŸแด‡ (แดœษดแด…แด‡ส€ แด›สœแด‡ สœษชษขสœสŸษชษขสœแด›แด‡แด… แด„แด€แด› แด ษชแด…แด‡แด). Gแด‡แด› ษชแด› วซแดœษชแด„แด‹สŸส ส™แด‡า“แดส€แด‡ แด›สœแด‡ส แด€ส€แด‡ แด€สŸสŸ ษขแดษดแด‡, แดษดสŸส 463 ษดแด€xx แด‹แด‡สs สŸแด‡า“แด›
twitch chat
July 2014
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing