[Copypasta] mattress/furniture stores exist in a quantum superposition

I'm convinced that mattress/furniture stores exist in a quantum superposition of grand opening and going out of business sale. It is both and neither at once until an observer records the state at which point it becomes one or the other. But because you know exactly where the store is located, you cannot know how fast it is going out of business because of your uncertainty about its business momentum. All around us, all the time pairs of anti-discount mattress stores and discount mattress stores are popping into existence, forming the quantum memory foam that is the basis for the universe. Without the pressure of this quantum memory foam strip malls would collapse. We can see evidence of this when a pair is created such that one half is within the sales radius of a supermassive furniture store like Ikea-- one of them is pulled in and the other escapes as a Hawking mattress store.
December 2020
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Hello there, Octavian! This is Kurt McGriff

twitchquotes: Hello there, Octavian! This is Kurt McGriff, executive producer for the Food Channel. We have reviewed your recent application to be a host of your own TV show on our network titled, "Salty Vegan Eats - A Pro Gamer's Way of Life" However, after further reviewing your claim of being an "extremely popular professional gamer" we found the evidence lacking. Mr. Octavian, casually playing a children's card game does not make you a "pro gamer." Have a nice day and good luck to your future endeavors.
twitch chat
July 2017
Kripp

salty

Honestly, that's what Icall a cool story bro

twitchquotes: Honestly, that's what Icall a cool story bro. Such a riveting tale, I honestly copy andpasted itto word, saved on my hard drive, backed it up on a jump drive, drove to the bank, put the jump drive in the safe deposit box, and will leave it there until my kids turn about 12 (when they can actually state their age, and ask what it is I'm showing them), when I will pick it up, put it in an old USB drive reader and relay this cool story to them and tell them, "kids, this is what a cool story should look and sound like...not like the stories your generation tells
twitch chat
January 2015
Reynad

I sexually Identify as going second

twitchquotes: I sexually Identify as going second. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of being at a mana disadvantage for ten turns. People say to me that a winning when going second is Impossible and I’m *** retarded but I don’t care, I’m beautiful. I’m having a plastic surgeon install four cards in my opening hand as well as the coin on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me “UNKNOWN” and respect my right to instantly lose the majority of games. If you can’t accept me you’re a turn-twophobe
twitch chat
December 2016
Kripp

Hearthstone

I sexually Identify as

veryFors

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠋⠉⠉⠉⠄⠈⠉⠙⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠋⠁⠄⠄⠄⣀⣤⣴⣶⣤⣤⣀⠈⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡄⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⣛⣛⣛⡛⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⢻⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣾⣿⡟⢱⣆⠄⠿⢿⣿⣿⣯⠬⣙⡇⠘⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣻⣿⣿⣭⣵⣦⠄⣠⣿⡈⢿⣀⣸⡇⠄⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠃⢨⠟⣷⣿⣿⣿⠃⠄⢿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠸⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠹⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⣿⣿⡿⢂⣀⢸⣦⠄⠄⣹⣿⠇⠄⠄⣼⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠄⠄⢀⣴⣿⣿⣟⣉⣴⣿⠇⣠⣾⠂⠄⠈⠄⠄⢀⣼⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣵⣿⡿⣣⠄⠄⠄⠄⣰⣿⣿⠿⠋⠉ ⠛⠋⠉⠁⠄⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣵⡿⠃⠄⠄⠄⢠⣿⠟⠁⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⢀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
July 2022
Forsen

Emote

Joker

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November 2014
Text-to-Speech Playing