[Copypasta] mattress/furniture stores exist in a quantum superposition

I'm convinced that mattress/furniture stores exist in a quantum superposition of grand opening and going out of business sale. It is both and neither at once until an observer records the state at which point it becomes one or the other. But because you know exactly where the store is located, you cannot know how fast it is going out of business because of your uncertainty about its business momentum. All around us, all the time pairs of anti-discount mattress stores and discount mattress stores are popping into existence, forming the quantum memory foam that is the basis for the universe. Without the pressure of this quantum memory foam strip malls would collapse. We can see evidence of this when a pair is created such that one half is within the sales radius of a supermassive furniture store like Ikea-- one of them is pulled in and the other escapes as a Hawking mattress store.
December 2020
What happened to this ad? :(
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PunOko

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⡿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠛⠛⠉⠉⠉⠙⠻⣅⠀⠈⢧⠀⠈⠛⠉⠉⢻⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣤⡶⠟⠀⠀⣈⠓⢤⣶⡶⠿⠛⠻⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢣⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⣀⣴⠶⠿⠿⢷⡄⠀⠀⢀⣤⣾⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣡⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⣦⣤⣤⡀⠀⢷⡀⠀⠀⣻⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡈⠛⠶⠛⠃⠈⠈⢿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠟⠘⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣿⣿ ⣿⠏⠀⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣶⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣡⣄⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿ ⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠚⠛⠛⢛⣲⣶⣿⣷⣉⠉⢉⣥⡄⠀⠀⠀⠨⣿⣿ ⡇⢠⡆⠀⠀⢰⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣧⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣾⣿⡅⠀⠀⡄⠠⢸⣿ ⣧⠸⣇⠀⠀⠘⣤⡀⠀⠀⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠛⠻⣿⣿⣿⡿⢁⠀⠀⢰⠀⢸⣿ ⣿⣷⣽⣦⠀⠀⠙⢷⡀⠀⠀⠙⠻⠿⢿⣷⣾⣿⣶⠾⢟⣥⣾⣿⣧⠀⠂⢀⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣆⣠⣤⣤⣤⣀⣀⡀⠀⠒⢻⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢀⣀⣾⣿⣿
June 2019

Weebs

Ben Shapiro destroys another leftist

"Mr. Shapiro, what are your thoughts on women's rights to have an abortion?" Ben: "WELL, that's a very interesting QUESTION, SIR. Before I get started, did you know that my WIFE is a DOCTOR?" Reporter: "...Mr. Shapiro, that's- not-" Ben: "I didn't think so, LEFTIST. Now back to your question- 'should women be allowed to MURDER and SHOOT innocent BABIES and CHILDREN?" Reporter: "Sir, that's not what my orig-" Ben: "OBVIOUSLY not. Now according to PragerU UNIVERSITY, there once was a FARMER who had a DOG, and Bingo was his name-o. Do you know how to spell it?" Reporter: (silence) Ben: "B-I-N-G-O. And Bingo was his name-o." (Stares reporter in the eye; has not blinked since the asked question) "B, I, N G O, B, I, N G O, B, I, N G O, And Bingo was his name-o." Reporter: (Visibly taken aback) "Mr. Shapiro, this is ridiculo-" (The conservative crowd begins laughing and shouting and singing with Ben) All: "And Bingo was his name-o!" (Ben shouting as the curtains close,) "Another CUCK LEFTIST DESTROYED! BAZINGA!"
October 2021

Ben Shapiro

forsenSleeper

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⠄⣠⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⣠⡾⠛⠛⠛⠻⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⠄⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⣼⣿⣶⣿⣿⣦⣤⣀⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⣼⣿⡿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠉⠛⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡷ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⣾⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣤⣤⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠄⠄⠈⢿⣿⣿⣿⡇ ⣿⣿⣿⢣⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⣻⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⡀⠛⣿⣿⠃ ⣿⣿⢋⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣍⠻⢿⣿⣿⣷⠄⣸⣿⠄ ⣿⣿⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⣤⣿⡟⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢶⡿⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠄⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣬⣍⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠁⠄⠄ ⡏⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣏⣁⡹⠿⣿⣤⣙⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠁⠄⠄⠄⠘ ⡇⠻⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀ ⣿⠄⠄⠉⠉⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⡝⠻⣿⢛⡛⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣆⠑⢎⠄⢀⡃⣼
November 2021
Forsen

Emote

"When the Impostor is sus" but formal

When the person who pretends to be someone else in order to deceive others, especially for fraudulent gain is giving the impression that something is questionable or dishonest, causing one to have the idea or impression that they are of questionable, dishonest, or dangerous character or condition.
March 2022

Among Us / Amogus

Hi Michael, it's the ghost of Abraham Lincoln here

twitchquotes: Hi Michael, it's the ghost of Abraham Lincoln here, 16th president of the USA. Just wondering if you can let me see your minimap. I realize you don't like "ghosting" but maybe you can make an exception for me. Sorry for spooking you.
twitch chat
October 2014
imaqtpie
Text-to-Speech Playing