[Copypasta] mattress/furniture stores exist in a quantum superposition

I'm convinced that mattress/furniture stores exist in a quantum superposition of grand opening and going out of business sale. It is both and neither at once until an observer records the state at which point it becomes one or the other. But because you know exactly where the store is located, you cannot know how fast it is going out of business because of your uncertainty about its business momentum. All around us, all the time pairs of anti-discount mattress stores and discount mattress stores are popping into existence, forming the quantum memory foam that is the basis for the universe. Without the pressure of this quantum memory foam strip malls would collapse. We can see evidence of this when a pair is created such that one half is within the sales radius of a supermassive furniture store like Ikea-- one of them is pulled in and the other escapes as a Hawking mattress store.
December 2020
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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Pac-Man projectiles

twitchquotes: FeelsGoodMan FBBlock 🍒 🍓 🍊 🍎 🍈 ✈️ 🔔 🔑
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April 2019

Super Smash Bros

You have exceeded your monthly allowance of haHAA

twitchquotes: This is Comcast. You have exceeded your monthly allowance of haHAA and will pay overage fees of $20 per haHAA for the rest of this billing cycle.
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July 2017

You see, I have a very high IQ

twitchquotes: You see, I have a very high IQ. Do you want to know why? Well, I'll tell you anyways, I have a high IQ because I watch this amazing television show (which to my surprise piqued my interest unlike many other television shows) Rick and Morty. This show is remarkably intellectual (Like me, mind you) and not like any other animated shows. My most favorite joke from the show is "WUBALUBADUBDUB" it makes me giddy inside and knowing the common folk wont understand the joke makes me laugh even harder!
twitch chat
September 2017

Rick and Morty

Crewmate Amogus Spiderman

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣤⣤⣤⣤⣄⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣤⣶⡿⠛⠋⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⡿⠛⠻⠷⣶⣤⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣾⠟⠉⠀⠙⣦⣀⣀⣀⣠⡤⠴⡿⣄⡀⠀⠀⠉⠻⢷⣤⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⡟⠁⠀⠀⠀⣰⠋⢧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠉⠙⠓⠒⡶⢯⣙⣿⣆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⡟⠀⠀⠀⢀⠞⠁⠀⠈⣳⡤⠤⠴⠚⣟⠛⠒⠒⠒⣺⠳⢤⣀⣉⣻⣷⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⡿⠶⠶⣤⣾⡁⠀⠀⢀⡜⠉⣧⣠⣤⣴⣾⣶⠶⠶⠶⠷⣶⣶⣶⣬⣭⣙⣷⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⠁⠀⠀⣿⠀⠙⢲⣞⠁⣠⡾⠟⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠙⠻⢷⣄⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡏⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⢸⠏⣿⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⢷⡄⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣴⣶⣶⣦⣾⠃⠀⠀⢠⡇⠀⠀⣸⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣿⡄ ⠀⠀⣠⡿⠿⡄⠀⠀⠈⣿⡀⠀⠀⡼⠀⠀⣴⣃⣤⣿⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡇ ⠀⣰⡿⠁⠀⠹⡄⠀⠀⣿⠿⣶⣴⡷⠒⠋⠻⡄⠀⢹⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣿⠃ ⢀⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀⢹⣀⣴⡏⠀⠀⠙⢿⣦⠀⠀⢹⡄⠀⠻⣧⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣿⠋⠀ ⢸⡿⢧⠀⠀⢀⡼⠯⣼⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⣷⡄⠀⣇⡤⠞⠉⠻⢷⣤⣄⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣀⣤⣶⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀ ⣿⡇⠈⢧⣠⠎⠀⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣿⡞⠛⠢⣄⠀⣠⠏⠈⠉⡿⠛⠛⠛⢻⠛⠛⠛⠛⢿⠉⠁⣴⠟⠁⣿⠀⠀ ⣿⠃⠀⡼⠧⣄⠀⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣷⡀⠀⠘⣶⣁⡀⠀⡼⠁⢀⡀⠀⠘⡇⣀⣠⣤⣬⣷⣾⠏⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀ ⣿⣀⡞⠁⠀⠈⢣⡀⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⣇⠀⡼⠁⠀⠉⣹⠛⠉⠉⡉⠉⢙⣏⠁⠀⠀⠀⣼⡏⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀ ⣿⡿⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⢳⣼⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣿⡾⠁⠀⠀⢀⡇⢠⠂⣜⣠⣤⠸⡟⢣⠀⠀⢰⡿⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀ ⣿⡇⠈⠳⡄⠀⠀⣨⢿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⡗⠒⠲⢤⣸⠀⣸⣄⣿⣿⣿⣷⣿⣞⣠⣤⣿⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀ ⢸⣇⠀⠀⢹⡀⡰⠃⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⣹⢉⡽⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣅⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣿⠀⠀ ⠘⣿⡀⠀⠈⡿⠁⠀⢸⣷⣦⣤⣤⣄⣀⡀⠀⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⡟⠘⡅⢇⢸⣿⣿⠇⡇⡸⠀⠀⣿⠀⢀⣀⣠⣼⣿⠀⠀ ⠀⢻⣇⠀⣰⠛⠒⠦⣼⡇⠀⠀⠉⠉⠙⢻⣷⣦⣼⡏⠉⠓⠦⣿⠤⠵⠾⠾⠿⢿⣸⣯⠧⠖⠚⣿⡾⠟⠋⠉⣹⡇⠀⠀ ⠀⠈⢿⣶⠇⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣶⣤⣤⣤⣀⣼⣀⣈⣙⣃⡀⠀⠀⢹⡀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣀⣸⣁⣀⣀⣤⣤⣤⣶⠶⠿⣿⡇⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠈⠻⣷⣄⠀⠀⢘⣧⠀⠀⠉⠉⠉⠙⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⢉⡉⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⢀⣿⠁⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙⠛⠿⠻⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡷⠶⠶⠶⢶⡶⠿⠿⠿⠛⠋⠀⠀⢀⣀⣤⣾⡿⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣤⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⡇⠀⠀⠀⢸⣧⣤⣤⣤⣶⣶⠶⠿⠛⠋⠁⣼⡇⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⡍⠙⠛⢿⠿⠷⠶⠶⠾⠿⠿⠟⢻⡇⠀⠀⠀⢸⡏⠉⠁⠀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣄⣀⣀⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡟⠲⢦⣼⣀⣀⣀⣤⣤⣀⣀⡀⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⢸⣷⠖⠚⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⣿⠀⠀⡏⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⣿⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⣆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⡿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠻⣧⣀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣾⠟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⢷⣶⣶⣶⣶⡶⠿⠛⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠛⠛⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠛⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
May 2022

Among Us / Amogus

We blizzard care much about the player experience

twitchquotes: We blizzard care much about the player experience. For this reason, we're changing the card Ultimate Infestation as follows: Deal 5 damage, gain 5 armor, summon 3 JADE GOLEMS, Add 5 Jade Idol to your hand. I'm Ben Brode, hope you still like my raps!
twitch chat
September 2017

Hearthstone

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