[Copypasta] mattress/furniture stores exist in a quantum superposition

I'm convinced that mattress/furniture stores exist in a quantum superposition of grand opening and going out of business sale. It is both and neither at once until an observer records the state at which point it becomes one or the other. But because you know exactly where the store is located, you cannot know how fast it is going out of business because of your uncertainty about its business momentum. All around us, all the time pairs of anti-discount mattress stores and discount mattress stores are popping into existence, forming the quantum memory foam that is the basis for the universe. Without the pressure of this quantum memory foam strip malls would collapse. We can see evidence of this when a pair is created such that one half is within the sales radius of a supermassive furniture store like Ikea-- one of them is pulled in and the other escapes as a Hawking mattress store.
December 2020
I used to be a real ad
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Polish cow

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⡯⠀⠀⠀⢠⡐⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣿⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣠⣤⣤⣤⣴⣦⣾⣿⣿⣿⣶⣦⣴⣶⣶⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣽⣿⣿⡟⢻⣿⣿⣿⡟⣿⣿⣿⣿⠉⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣠⣾⣿⣿⣏⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠁⠉⠙⠛⠛⢿⣿⠟⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠈⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡘⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
December 2020

Professional headmeat physician

twitchquotes: ce: Hello Tyler, this is Dhanraj Ameer, the professional headmeat physician, thank you for contacting me last week. My team and I have been looking at x-rays of your skull and we are interested in a procedure that involves taking the head meat from the sides of your head and using it to fill in the dent in the middle. Due to the severity of your head meat slabs this procedure only has a 10% likelihood of success due to the extreme invasiveness the slab removal will take. Let me know
twitch chat
July 2019
Tyler1

Forgor what? Forgor how to be funny?

Forgor what? Forgor how to be funny? Shut up you absolute troglodyte. Misspelling a word is not funny anymore, you just sound like an idiot. And don't even get me started about the 💀 emoji at the end. What is dead? Is it your unfunny jokes from 2020? But Shut the fuck up you unfunny bitch Forgor what? Forgor how to be funny? Shut up you absolute troglodyte. Misspelling a word is not funny anymore, you just sound like an idiot. And don't even get me started about the 💀 emoji at the end. What is dead? Is it your unfunny jokes from 2020? But Shut the fuck up you unfunny bitch Forgor what? Forgor how to be funny? Shut up you absolute troglodyte. Misspelling a word is not funny anymore, you just sound like an idiot. And don't even get me started about the 💀 emoji at the end. What is dead? Is it your unfunny jokes from 2020? Shut the fuck up you unfunny bitch.
October 2021

I forgor

forsenpepE

⠄⣾⠟⢋⣉⣙⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠄ ⣶⠏⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣌⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠄ ⣿⣴⠟⣋⣩⣭⣭⣿⣿⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⢛⣉⣉⣉⡙⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄ ⣿⢁⣾⣿⣿⣿⣯⣛⠛⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⣤⡾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⠉⠻⣿⣷ ⣿⠘⠋⠉⠉⣉⣉⣉⡙⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⣴⣾⣥⣶⣶⣤⣍⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⠘⠁⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⡷⠂⣹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠘⠛⠛⠛⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠛⣿ ⣿⡄⠄⣀⣀⣚⣛⣉⣥⡴⠾⠿⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⢀⡋⠄⠄⣀⠉⠛⠿⢿⠟⣸⣿ ⣿⣿⣄⠛⠿⠟⢻⣿⣡⣴⡶⠄⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣌⡙⠿⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⢋⣽⣿⠟⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣿⣶⣦⣶⣿⣿⣮⣭⣶⣿⣿ ⣿⡿⠏⣁⣀⢔⠿⠋⡏⢸⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠉⠉⣰⣟⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣶⠞⣉⣁⣉⣁⣈⡀⠘⠛⠛⠉⣤⣚⣛⣙⣋⣻⣇⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⠁⣼⡟⠻⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣦⣤⣄⣀⣉⣉⣉⣉⡛⢻⣀⣿⣿⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣦⡈⠻⢷⣤⣙⠒⠶⢤⣭⣭⣭⣭⠍⢉⣩⣾⡿⠈⣿⣿⣿⣦⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣦⣤⣈⡛⠻⠿⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠚⣛⣉⣠⣴⣾⣿⣿⠿⢛⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⢿⠟⣽⢿⣿⣿⣿⠻⠶⡶⢶⠲⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⢿⣷⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠋
November 2021
Forsen

Emote

I once knew this man. He was from the ocean

twitchquotes: I once knew this man. He was from the ocean. He did very Ocean-y things. He took me by the hand to take me to the land that you understand. He was the crust of a tan man imbibed by the sand, Soaking up the thirst of the land. Soaking up the thirst of the land. His Shin was in the shape of an "O". Don't know what to call him though...any ideas?
twitch chat
June 2017
Text-to-Speech Playing