[Copypasta] mattress/furniture stores exist in a quantum superposition

I'm convinced that mattress/furniture stores exist in a quantum superposition of grand opening and going out of business sale. It is both and neither at once until an observer records the state at which point it becomes one or the other. But because you know exactly where the store is located, you cannot know how fast it is going out of business because of your uncertainty about its business momentum. All around us, all the time pairs of anti-discount mattress stores and discount mattress stores are popping into existence, forming the quantum memory foam that is the basis for the universe. Without the pressure of this quantum memory foam strip malls would collapse. We can see evidence of this when a pair is created such that one half is within the sales radius of a supermassive furniture store like Ikea-- one of them is pulled in and the other escapes as a Hawking mattress store.
December 2020
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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Overwatch professional player xGodSlayerx

twitchquotes: We are gathered here today in memorium of the Overwatch professional player xGodSlayerx. In life, he demanded healing and better teammates who were not bitch idiot noob feeders. In death, he is an icon of Genji players everywhere. His legacy of epic zero-kill dragonblades and Blizzcon-worthy shuriken throwing skills have inspired a generation of one-trick DPS players in Masters and below. Perhaps what he needed was not heal bitch, or shield bitch, but a feel bitch.
twitch chat
June 2017
MOONMOON

Overwatch

I want to smash

twitchquotes: I want to smash. No, not sex, not even in a physical way. I want to sit down and play Super Smash Bros. Ultimate while laughing and having a good time. I want to play 1v1’s. I want to play on your team against lvl. 3 CPU’s. You can be Kirby. I can play Jigglypuff. No items.
twitch chat
February 2019

Super Smash Bros

Not your naked body

Among us ritual

Go to the bathroom at 3:33 am, then open youtube and play among us drip song then do the jerma sus face and repeat the word "sus" in front to the mirror for 666 times, if the ritual worked then a voice from your parents room will say "shut up", you will then hear a creature walk to the bathroom, at this point destroy the mirror before he enters In the bathroom if the ritual worked then the next day your parents will start discussing about you having mental problems
April 2021

Among Us / Amogus

Your "Twitch Viewer Bot" subscription will soon expire

twitchquotes: nl_Kripp your "Twitch Viewer Bot" subscription will soon expire to continue using our services please renew your account by logging into your account and from the home page go to: My account > Viewbot Status > Renew subscription. This message will repeat until the end of your subscription in 72 hours. Thank you for your dedicated service.
twitch chat
February 2016
Kripp

Viewbots

Classic

I am bullied for loving the Kripparrian

twitchquotes: Eᴠᴇʀʏ ᴅᴀʏ ᴀᴛ sᴄʜᴏᴏʟ ɪ ᴀᴍ ʙᴜʟʟɪᴇᴅ ғᴏʀ ʟᴏᴠɪɴɢ ᴛʜᴇ ᴋʀɪᴘᴘᴀʀɪᴀɴ, ᴛʜᴇ ᴏᴛʜᴇʀ ᴋɪᴅs ʟᴀᴜɢʜ ᴀɴᴅ sᴀʏ "ʜᴇ ɪsɴ'ᴛ ʀᴇᴀʟ" ᴏʀ "ᴡʜᴀᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ғᴜᴄᴋ ɪs ᴀ ᴋʀɪᴘᴘᴀʀɪᴀɴ". ᴛʜᴇʏ ᴊᴜsᴛ ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ᴜɴᴅᴇʀsᴛᴀɴᴅ. ɪ ᴘʟᴀɴ ᴛᴏ sᴏᴏɴ ʙᴜɪʟᴅ ᴀɴ OJ ʙᴏᴍʙ ᴀɴᴅ sʜᴏᴡᴇʀ ᴛʜᴇᴍ ᴡɪᴛʜ ʏᴏᴜʀ ʟᴏᴠᴇ ᴋʀɪᴘᴘ. ᴛʜᴇʏ ᴡᴏɴ'ᴛ ʙᴇ ʟᴀᴜɢʜɪɴɢ ғᴏʀ ʟᴏɴɢ
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing