[Copypasta] mattress/furniture stores exist in a quantum superposition

I'm convinced that mattress/furniture stores exist in a quantum superposition of grand opening and going out of business sale. It is both and neither at once until an observer records the state at which point it becomes one or the other. But because you know exactly where the store is located, you cannot know how fast it is going out of business because of your uncertainty about its business momentum. All around us, all the time pairs of anti-discount mattress stores and discount mattress stores are popping into existence, forming the quantum memory foam that is the basis for the universe. Without the pressure of this quantum memory foam strip malls would collapse. We can see evidence of this when a pair is created such that one half is within the sales radius of a supermassive furniture store like Ikea-- one of them is pulled in and the other escapes as a Hawking mattress store.
December 2020
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

I don’t know what Overwatch is

twitchquotes: I don’t know what Overwatch is. There’s a gorilla and some lesbians and guns but yall never play the gorilla I don’t know. And then sometimes if that wasn’t bad enough sometimes you go and just invent new Overwatches. Like just when I’m getting a handle on what “Junkrat kin discourse” is yall show up with “This is my new OC her name is Grandma Sniper” and then SHE’S part of the Overwatchers. “This is Swedish Beefcake” could yall? not?? I still don’t know what a Hanzo is.
twitch chat
April 2021

Overwatch

Greetings Kripp, I am Dr. Hannibal Lector

twitchquotes: ༼ つ ͡ ͡° ͜ ʖ ͡ ͡° ༽つ Greetings Kripp, I am Dr. Hannibal Lector, renowned Psychiatrist based in Baltimore, Maryland. I have heard you are the saltiest man alive, I am intrigued by a man of your... tastes. I would like to invite you for... dinner. ༼ つ ͡ ͡° ͜ ʖ ͡ ͡° ༽つ
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

Classic

salty

Kermit the frog caused 9/11

Kermit the frog caused 9/11. In the 2002 TV film "It's a Very Merry Muppet Christmas Movie", there's a part where an angel shows Kermit an alternate reality where he was never born. For whatever reason, the editors didn't really think about it, and continued to use footage with the twin towers still standing for this scene, however they aren't there in his original universe. Therefore, something that Kermit did in his life, did in fact cause 9/11 in Muppet lore.
February 2021

Clap

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September 2020

Wow, You’re an introvert?

twitchquotes: Wow, You’re an introvert? Thats so quirky and hilarious. What a funny socially awkward moment. Damn, you really are a comedy genius. Every time you say you’re an introvert, i burst into uncontrollable laughter. I still cant believe it. Thats super funny man. You mean you would rather sit in the dark on your computer instead of Going outdoors with some friends, getting drunk and Drunk Driving? Wow. Surely you must be the only one like that alive.
twitch chat
November 2020
Text-to-Speech Playing