[Copypasta] mattress/furniture stores exist in a quantum superposition

I'm convinced that mattress/furniture stores exist in a quantum superposition of grand opening and going out of business sale. It is both and neither at once until an observer records the state at which point it becomes one or the other. But because you know exactly where the store is located, you cannot know how fast it is going out of business because of your uncertainty about its business momentum. All around us, all the time pairs of anti-discount mattress stores and discount mattress stores are popping into existence, forming the quantum memory foam that is the basis for the universe. Without the pressure of this quantum memory foam strip malls would collapse. We can see evidence of this when a pair is created such that one half is within the sales radius of a supermassive furniture store like Ikea-- one of them is pulled in and the other escapes as a Hawking mattress store.
December 2020
(โ–€ฬฟฤนฬฏโ”œโ”ฌโ”ดโ”ฌโ”ด Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

joe biden said he was the impostor

I ๐Ÿ‘ met joe biden at ๐Ÿ‘ธ๐Ÿ’ฆ 3 ๐ŸŽ†๐Ÿ•‘ am ๐Ÿ‘ he said ๐Ÿ’ฌ๐Ÿ–• he was the ๐Ÿ„๐Ÿค› impostor guys โ™‚ should ๐Ÿ‘Œ๐Ÿ‘ซ i ๐Ÿ‘† believe ๐Ÿป him ๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿ˜ฉ im ๐Ÿผ soo scared โŒ i dont ๐Ÿ˜ก know ๐Ÿค”โ“ what to ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿšถ do ๐Ÿ‘Œ help ๐Ÿ’ me ๐Ÿ’‹ out. ๐Ÿค”
July 2021

Emoji Pasta

Can't focus on sex with the Food Network on

twitchquotes: Iโ€™m married and have a 4 year old so sex needs to be done in window opportunities. Whatever channel the TV is on in the background is what itโ€™s going to be. Food Network is the hardest to have sex to by far. So if for example Guy Fieri Triple D comes on and I hear โ€œweโ€™re going to Seattle for some funky BBQ fish empanadasโ€ while having sex my brain is โ€œyes sex! But those empanadas sound crazy...dude focus on sex....thatโ€™s a shit load of jalapeรฑos, that would give me heartburn for a week....Ok back to focusing on the sex....oh shit heโ€™s going to a bbq pit in Austin next that does burnt tips in white cheddar Mac and Cheese!!! I gotta wrap this upโ€
twitch chat
May 2019

We require you to change your Twitch name to hl_kripp

twitchquotes: Hello Kripparino, this is Noah Liferino, CEO of No Life Incorporatedยฉ. As you may already know, we are requiring you to change your Twitch name to hl_kripp (has life) as you no longer are a "no life". This was stated in the contract you signed under section 6 article 9 paragraph 420. This is to be enforced immediately.
twitch chat
March 2015
Kripp

AYAYA CUTE CHAT

twitchquotes: โœŒ๏ธ AYAYA ๐ŸŒธ CUTE CHAT โœŒ๏ธ AYAYA ๐ŸŒธ โœŒ๏ธ AYAYA ๐ŸŒธ CUTE CHAT โœŒ๏ธ AYAYA ๐ŸŒธ โœŒ๏ธ AYAYA ๐ŸŒธ CUTE CHAT โœŒ๏ธ AYAYA ๐ŸŒธ โœŒ๏ธ AYAYA ๐ŸŒธ CUTE CHAT โœŒ๏ธ AYAYA ๐ŸŒธ โœŒ๏ธ AYAYA ๐ŸŒธ
twitch chat
October 2021

Weebs

Anime

Text-to-Speech Playing