[Copypasta] mattress/furniture stores exist in a quantum superposition

I'm convinced that mattress/furniture stores exist in a quantum superposition of grand opening and going out of business sale. It is both and neither at once until an observer records the state at which point it becomes one or the other. But because you know exactly where the store is located, you cannot know how fast it is going out of business because of your uncertainty about its business momentum. All around us, all the time pairs of anti-discount mattress stores and discount mattress stores are popping into existence, forming the quantum memory foam that is the basis for the universe. Without the pressure of this quantum memory foam strip malls would collapse. We can see evidence of this when a pair is created such that one half is within the sales radius of a supermassive furniture store like Ikea-- one of them is pulled in and the other escapes as a Hawking mattress store.
December 2020
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Wave the flags

twitchquotes: <\_ Kappa _/> wave the flags like a boss <\_ Kappa _/>
twitch chat
November 2014

My brother won’t stop saying “ITS MORBING TIME!”

Someone for the fucking life of me help my brother (22) won’t stop saying “ITS MORBING TIME!” he found these words on fb or something and said its stuck in his mind and everytime he wakes up, shits, sleeps, pisses, EVERYTHING he says “its morbing time!” I’m losing my sanity, fuck you morbius. That was very un-morb
June 2022

Morbius

peepoClap

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠁⠀⠉⠙⠛⠿⠛⠉⠀⠀⠀⠉⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠀⢀⠔⠒⠒⠒⠒⠀⠠⠔⠚⠉⠉⠁⠀⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⢋⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⢔⠤⠀⢤⣤⡀⠠⣢⡭⠋⡙⢿⣭⡨⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠇⢀⠆⠀⠀⠀⣪⣴⣿⠐⢬⠀⣿⡗⣾⣿⡇⠈⠦⢸⣿⠗⢠⠿⠿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡏⠀⠀⠀⢀⡀⠀⠈⠛⠻⠄⠀⠠⠋⠀⠈⠛⠻⠆⠀⠈⢀⡠⣬⣠⢣⣶⢸ ⣿⡿⠀⠀⠀⣶⡌⣇⣿⢰⠷⠦⠄⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣠⣤⠶⠞⡛⠁⣿⣿⣾⣱⢸ ⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⣬⣽⣿⣿⢸⡜⢿⣷⣶⣶⣶⣯⣽⣦⡲⣾⣿⡇⣿⠀⣌⠿⣿⠏⣼ ⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠹⣿⡿⢫⡈⠻⢦⡹⢟⣛⣛⣛⣛⣛⣡⠿⣫⡼⠃⠀⣿⡷⢠⣾⣿ ⣿⡇⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠰⣿⣷⡀⠀⠙⠳⠦⣭⣭⣭⣵⡶⠿⠋⠀⢀⣴⣿⡇⣾⣿⣿ ⣿⢠⣿⣦⣄⣀⠀⠀⢻⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣀⣤⣶⣿⣿⡟⣰⣿⣿⣿ ⡇⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⢹⣿⣇⢠⣤⣤⣤⣤⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⢹⣿⣿⣿ ⡇⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣎⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⣸⣿⣿⣿ ⣧⡘⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⢋⣡⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⣍⣉⣛⣛⡛⠛⠛⢛⣛⣛⣛⣛⣉⣩⣭⣤⣴⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
September 2020

Peepo

Pepe

FeelsBadMan pyramid

twitchquotes: FeelsBadMan Only a true failure can fail to build a pyramid FeelsBadMan FeelsBadMan May as well not even bother FeelsBadMan FeelsBadMan FeelsBadMan And Still my pyramid sucks
twitch chat
November 2018

Classic

Moonmoon subs are the most toxic?

twitchquotes: Is there any particular reason that your subs are the most toxic, useless wastes of life on all of twitch? I get that streaming gaming tends to attract a lot of losers, but what is it about your subs that makes them so uniquely cancerous? What makes them want to venture out of their trailers and basements to spam and shitpost where they aren't wanted? Is it too much to ask that you savages contain yourselves to the bowels of twitch?
twitch chat
July 2017
MOONMOON
Text-to-Speech Playing