[Copypasta] mattress/furniture stores exist in a quantum superposition

I'm convinced that mattress/furniture stores exist in a quantum superposition of grand opening and going out of business sale. It is both and neither at once until an observer records the state at which point it becomes one or the other. But because you know exactly where the store is located, you cannot know how fast it is going out of business because of your uncertainty about its business momentum. All around us, all the time pairs of anti-discount mattress stores and discount mattress stores are popping into existence, forming the quantum memory foam that is the basis for the universe. Without the pressure of this quantum memory foam strip malls would collapse. We can see evidence of this when a pair is created such that one half is within the sales radius of a supermassive furniture store like Ikea-- one of them is pulled in and the other escapes as a Hawking mattress store.
December 2020
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

I watched your stream and went 1-3 just like you!

twitchquotes: Hey Kripp I'm 12 and I'm your biggest fan! I saw you play Artosis last year at BlizzCon, are you gonna win BlizzCon this year Kripp? I heard you were good at Arena. I watched your stream and went 1-3 just like you!
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November 2014
Kripp

After a good game in csgo, i added him

twitchquotes: After a good game in csgo, i added him because he seemed like a cool guy. We got chatting, over the next couple of months we became good friends. Lots of banter, lots of great CS and most importantly true friendship. I invited him to my house for a csgo lan party. He said he was coming so i was looking forward to meeting him in real life. When he arrived at my house, he pushed me against the wall and started nibbling my ear. Turns out he was vegan. Don't trust this guy.
twitch chat
September 2017

CSGO

PepeLaughYou

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣤⣄⡀⠄⢀⣤⣴⣶⣶⣶⣦⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡀⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⢀⣼⣿⣿⠿⣛⣛⣛⣛⣛⠿⣿⣯⣼⣿⡿⠟⣛⣛⣛⣛⣛⠿⢿⣿⣄⠄⠄ ⠄⢠⣿⢿⡫⢞⣫⣥⣴⣶⣶⣦⣭⡲⣝⣟⡥⣚⣭⣥⣶⣶⣬⣭⣟⡳⣼⣻⣧⡀ ⠄⣿⠛⣮⠗⠉⠁⠐⠶⠄⠰⠶⠭⢉⣿⣿⣃⠉⠵⠶⠄⠰⠖⠂⠉⠓⢮⣟⠻⡇ ⢸⣿⣿⣁⣰⣿⡭⠵⠶⠟⣛⣉⠴⠿⣣⣇⡿⠶⣍⣑⠻⠷⠾⢭⣤⣷⣈⣹⣿⡇ ⠄⠻⣿⣟⣻⢯⣍⣛⣛⣿⢭⣐⣭⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣗⣨⢿⣛⣛⣛⣭⡿⣟⣿⡿⠄ ⠄⠄⣀⣍⡛⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣟⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣛⠄⠄ ⠄⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣦⣬⣥⣴⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣬⣛⣛⣛⣛⣭⣭⣶⣿⣦⠄ ⠄⣿⡈⠿⠟⠁⣀⣤⣄⣀⣐⡲⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⣶⠉⣿⢻⣿⣿⠄ ⢀⣈⣤⣾⣏⣿⣿⣿⣿⢛⡭⠭⠤⡘⠸⢸⠃⣿⡇⣿⡇⡿⢇⠜⣠⢧⠞⣽⣿⠄ ⣾⡿⢹⣿⡿⠉⣿⣿⡟⡜⣢⣭⡒⢉⢠⢸⡄⣭⡅⠗⣢⠖⣡⡞⣥⣾⣾⠟⠁⠄ ⣿⡇⣾⣿⡇⣴⣿⣿⣇⢶⣿⡷⠚⣬⣬⣬⣷⣶⡾⢛⣽⣾⣿⣿⡿⠛⠁⠄⠄⠄ ⢟⡇⠿⠿⠇⣛⣭⣭⣍⢰⢆⣺⢨⣭⣭⣭⣥⣶⣿⡿⠿⠟⠋⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠈⠛⠈⠿⠿⣙⣭⣥⣤⣤⣴⣾⡇⣛⣛⣛⣛⣩⣥⣴⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣤⣄⣀⠄⠄
June 2021

Pepe

Red futures :(

Bought a bunch of calls thinking I was going to be able to afford an escort to shit on my chest, now it's these red futures that are shitting on my chest.
February 2021

WallStreetBets

Can't focus on sex with the Food Network on

twitchquotes: I’m married and have a 4 year old so sex needs to be done in window opportunities. Whatever channel the TV is on in the background is what it’s going to be. Food Network is the hardest to have sex to by far. So if for example Guy Fieri Triple D comes on and I hear “we’re going to Seattle for some funky BBQ fish empanadas” while having sex my brain is “yes sex! But those empanadas sound crazy...dude focus on sex....that’s a shit load of jalapeños, that would give me heartburn for a week....Ok back to focusing on the sex....oh shit he’s going to a bbq pit in Austin next that does burnt tips in white cheddar Mac and Cheese!!! I gotta wrap this up”
twitch chat
May 2019
Text-to-Speech Playing