[Copypasta] mattress/furniture stores exist in a quantum superposition

I'm convinced that mattress/furniture stores exist in a quantum superposition of grand opening and going out of business sale. It is both and neither at once until an observer records the state at which point it becomes one or the other. But because you know exactly where the store is located, you cannot know how fast it is going out of business because of your uncertainty about its business momentum. All around us, all the time pairs of anti-discount mattress stores and discount mattress stores are popping into existence, forming the quantum memory foam that is the basis for the universe. Without the pressure of this quantum memory foam strip malls would collapse. We can see evidence of this when a pair is created such that one half is within the sales radius of a supermassive furniture store like Ikea-- one of them is pulled in and the other escapes as a Hawking mattress store.
December 2020
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Big Chungus v2

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January 2022

Become one with the awkward

twitchquotes: ο»ΏοΌ·ο½ˆο½…ο½Ž οΌ²ο½…ο½™ο½Žο½ο½„ ο½„ο½ο½’ο½…οΌŒ my palm ο½ο½•ο½”ο½ο½ο½ο½”ο½‰ο½ƒο½ο½Œο½Œο½™ go to ο½†ο½ο½ƒο½…οΌŽ οΌ© become ο½ο½Žο½… ο½—ο½‰ο½”ο½ˆ ο½”ο½ˆο½… ο½ο½—ο½‹ο½—ο½ο½’ο½„οΌŒ ο½ο½Žο½„ ο½ƒο½’ο½‰ο½Žο½‡ο½…οΌŽ οΌ°ο½Œο½“ no ο½ƒο½ο½ο½™ο½ο½ο½“ο½”ο½…ο½’ο½‰ο½Žο½οΌŽ
twitch chat
March 2014
Reynad

Windmill of Friendship

twitch chat
October 2014
imaqtpie

Please ask your opponent to emote Kripp

twitchquotes: Dear Kripp, whenever I watch you it is hard for me to tell if my video has frozen or not because your face never moves. Please ask your opponent to emote so I know it's live!
twitch chat
June 2019
Kripp

Hearthstone

Just as the founding fathers intended

I own a musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. "What the devil?" As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, "Tally ho lads" the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He Bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding fathers intended.
November 2020
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