[Copypasta] mattress/furniture stores exist in a quantum superposition

I'm convinced that mattress/furniture stores exist in a quantum superposition of grand opening and going out of business sale. It is both and neither at once until an observer records the state at which point it becomes one or the other. But because you know exactly where the store is located, you cannot know how fast it is going out of business because of your uncertainty about its business momentum. All around us, all the time pairs of anti-discount mattress stores and discount mattress stores are popping into existence, forming the quantum memory foam that is the basis for the universe. Without the pressure of this quantum memory foam strip malls would collapse. We can see evidence of this when a pair is created such that one half is within the sales radius of a supermassive furniture store like Ikea-- one of them is pulled in and the other escapes as a Hawking mattress store.
December 2020
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Pressing random numbers as a form of camaraderie

twitchquotes: Do you losers get a joy out of having people press random numbers on their keyboard when you tell them to? Does it validate your pathetic life? This is why I hate twitch chat, bunch of anti-social weaboos pressing random numbers as a form of camaraderie. How about you actually start a conversation with one another instead of being weird, yes I'm srs.
twitch chat
November 2014
Forsen

Jam a man of fortune xQc

π’₯𝒢𝓂 𝒢 𝑀𝒢𝓃 π‘œπ’» πΉπ‘œπ“‡π“‰π“Šπ“ƒπ‘’, 𝒢𝓃𝒹 π’₯ π“‚π“Šπ“ˆπ“‰ π“ˆπ‘’π‘’π“€ π“‚π“Ž πΉπ‘œπ“‡π“‰π“Šπ“ƒπ‘’ οΌπ»π‘’π“ƒπ“‡π“Ž Γ†π“‹π‘’π“‡π’Ύπ‘’π“ˆ, 𝟣𝟫𝟫𝟦
May 2021
xQcOW

Lonely Moby Dick

twitchquotes: So in Moby Dick why does Captain Ahab never consider that the whale is just lonely and looking for love? Clearly it's been through a lot from the scarring and probably wants to settle down in it's golden years. Personnally, if i were captain, i would have been a good human and take 2 and a half feet of whale cock to ease his pain
twitch chat
June 2020

I awoke from my coma and muted the stream

twitchquotes: I owe my life to [insert streamer]. I got in a horrible car crash and i was in 6 month coma. The nurse walked in and changed the Twitch channel to [insert streamer]'s stream. I awoke from my coma and muted [insert streamer].
twitch chat
September 2014

Classic

With this dust of a Dorito chip, I use this chant to summon Kripp!

twitchquotes: (぀‒̀α΄₯‒́)぀*:ο½₯゚✧ With this dust of a Doritoβ„’ chip, I use this chant to summon Kripp! (぀‒̀α΄₯‒́)぀*:ο½₯゚✧
twitch chat
August 2015
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing