[Copypasta] mattress/furniture stores exist in a quantum superposition

I'm convinced that mattress/furniture stores exist in a quantum superposition of grand opening and going out of business sale. It is both and neither at once until an observer records the state at which point it becomes one or the other. But because you know exactly where the store is located, you cannot know how fast it is going out of business because of your uncertainty about its business momentum. All around us, all the time pairs of anti-discount mattress stores and discount mattress stores are popping into existence, forming the quantum memory foam that is the basis for the universe. Without the pressure of this quantum memory foam strip malls would collapse. We can see evidence of this when a pair is created such that one half is within the sales radius of a supermassive furniture store like Ikea-- one of them is pulled in and the other escapes as a Hawking mattress store.
December 2020
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

I saw exactly 1.09441 square inches of a girls shoulder today

I saw exactly 1.09441 square inches of a girls shoulder today, I immediately fell to my knees, as the rush of dopamine signaling my impending, earth shattering orgasm started making me moan loud enough to deafen EVERYONE in the immediate vicinity. What followed was a torrential downpour of every single sperm cell I ever had, or ever will produce shot out SO HARD that my dick was ripped apart by my รœbernut, accelerating to 5% of the speed of light by the time it left my urethra. It vaporized the girl as it punched right through her, it barely slowed before cutting through a structural support beam in the school as if it were a nuclear powered angle grinder. the sheer weight of this historical nut, combined with the total destruction of everything in its path caused the school to collapse, and every female in the state of illinois became pregnant with my children.
July 2021

Classic

Response to Sadge brother letter

twitchquotes: ๐Ÿ“œ โœ ๏ธ Okayge ๐“‘๐“ป๐“ธ๐“ฝ๐“ฑ๐“ฎ๐“ป ๐“˜ ๐“ป๐“ฎ๐“ฌ๐“ฎ๐“ฒ๐“ฟ๐“ฎ๐“ญ ๐”‚๐“ธ๐“พ๐“ป ๐“ถ๐“ฎ๐“ผ๐“ผ๐“ช๐“ฐ๐“ฎ ๐”€๐“ฎ๐“ต๐“ต. ๐“˜๐“ฝ ๐“ฎ๐”๐“ฌ๐“ฒ๐“ฝ๐“ฎ๐“ผ ๐“ถ๐“ฎ ๐“ฝ๐“ธ ๐“ฒ๐“ท๐“ฏ๐“ธ๐“ป๐“ถ ๐”‚๐“ธ๐“พ ๐“ช๐“ซ๐“ธ๐“พ๐“ฝ ๐“ช ๐“ฌ๐“ธ๐“ฌ๐“ด ๐“ป๐“ฎ๐“ผ๐“ฎ๐“ป๐“ฟ๐“ฎ, ๐“ฏ๐“ป๐“ฎ๐“ฝ ๐“ท๐“ธ๐“ฝ, ๐“ฌ๐“ธ๐“ฌ๐“ด ๐”€๐“ฒ๐“ต๐“ต ๐“ซ๐“ฎ ๐“ผ๐“ฎ๐“ท๐“ฝ ๐”‚๐“ธ๐“พ๐“ป ๐”€๐“ช๐”‚ ๐“ผ๐“ธ๐“ธ๐“ท.
twitch chat
August 2020
Forsen

PROCOL FOR LOSING IN ARENA

twitchquotes: PROTOCOL FOR LOSING IN ARENA: 1 - Blame deck. 2 - If deck is good, blame RNG. 3 - If deck is good and RNG goes your way, blame going second. 4 - If deck is good, RNG goes your way, and went first, blame opponent's crazy deck/RNG/opponent topdecking answers. 5 - If all else fails, blame snipers with wild decks.
twitch chat
April 2017
Kripp

Hearthstone

Joe Rogan is obsessed with cooking meat over fire

I have become obsessed with cooking meat over fire. I get prepared for it. I make sure I'm hungry before I cook it. The smell of the smoke and the aroma of the crackling meat ignites some ancient genetic memories. It makes cooking and eating significantly better.
January 2022

Joe Rogan

I like turtles

twitchquotes: I like turtles because theyโ€™re so chill. They donโ€™t hurt anyone. Theyโ€™re just like, โ€œHey man, I want to swim, and maybe eat some lettuce. But Iโ€™m gonna take my time getting there, Iโ€™m not in a rush. Because Iโ€™m a turtle.โ€
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing