[Copypasta] mattress/furniture stores exist in a quantum superposition

I'm convinced that mattress/furniture stores exist in a quantum superposition of grand opening and going out of business sale. It is both and neither at once until an observer records the state at which point it becomes one or the other. But because you know exactly where the store is located, you cannot know how fast it is going out of business because of your uncertainty about its business momentum. All around us, all the time pairs of anti-discount mattress stores and discount mattress stores are popping into existence, forming the quantum memory foam that is the basis for the universe. Without the pressure of this quantum memory foam strip malls would collapse. We can see evidence of this when a pair is created such that one half is within the sales radius of a supermassive furniture store like Ikea-- one of them is pulled in and the other escapes as a Hawking mattress store.
December 2020
(β–€ΜΏΔΉΜ―β”œβ”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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Darth Bearish the Regarded

Did you ever hear the tragedy of "Darth Bearish the Regarded"? I thought not. It’s not a story any bull would tell you. It’s an ancient Bear legend. Darth Bearish was a Dark Lord of the Bears, so well capitalized and so regarded he could use Leverage to influence gamma to create profits… He had such a knowledge of the dark side of Leverage that he could even keep other traders he cared about from being margin called. But the dark side of Leverage is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be... unnatural. He became so bearish… the only thing he was afraid of was losing his positions, which eventually, of course, he did. Unfortunately, he taught his apprentice everything he knew, then his apprentice reversed his positions in his sleep. Ironic. He could save others from bankruptcy, but not himself!
June 2022

Tragedy of Darth Plagueis The Wise

WallStreetBets

Imposter

β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆ β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆ
January 2021

Among Us / Amogus

Now Playing: Despacito

twitchquotes: ɴᴏᴑ α΄˜ΚŸα΄€ΚΙͺΙ΄Ι’: Despacito ───────────────βšͺ─────────────────── ◄◄⠀▐▐ β €β–Ίβ–Ίβ €β € β € 1:17 / 3:48 β € ───○ πŸ”Šβ € α΄΄α΄° βš™ ❐ ⊏⊐
twitch chat
August 2018

Classic

A man has fallen into the river in Lego City! (uwu version)

a man has fawwen into teh riwer in lego city! owo start the rescuwu hewicopter HEY nuzzles u Buiwd teh hewicopter and owoff to the resucuwu prepare the lifeline, lowoer the stwetcher and make teh resucuwu the newu emewgency cowwection fwom lego city!!!
December 2020

Lego City

RIP the Kripparrian

twitchquotes: ( Ν‘Β° ΝœΚ– Ν‘Β°) i remember when seeing The Female Barbarian's Face in my Twitch TV Followers List made me happy inside to see the Kripparrian streaming, and see him farm endless hours of D3 or PoE, but now I just think of that succubus girlfriends he has and all the dogs barking and NAZIS shouting, RIP The Kripparrian ( Ν‘Β° ΝœΚ– Ν‘Β°)
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing