Which one of you fucks got reddit to send me this shit
"Hi there,
A concerned redditor reached out to us about you.
When you're in the middle of something painful, it may feel like you don't have a lot of options."
I used to be a real ad
More WallStreetBets Copypastas
WSB Choose your fighter
Choose your fighter
Alex Magikarp ๐
Elon TechnoCuckLord ๐ค+๐คด
Jeff Divorcedzos ๐
Salmonella ๐ Nutella ๐ซ
Bill "HELL Giga GUH is coming" Clownman ๐คก
Chamath, "I'm abouta fuck shit up" Papaya ๐
Ryan Cocken your butthole ๐ฅ๐ฆ ๐๐๐ณ
๐ฅ Z ๐ฅ U ๐ฅ C ๐ฅ C ๐ฅ
Tim ๐ Bottom ๐
ฑ๏ธENIS
Jack Ma MIA ๐คทโโ๏ธ
Cathie "A prayer a day keeps the ๐ปs' away" or "Jesus, take my buying power" Woods ๐โ๏ธ
WallStreetBets
Apple announces an EV program
Oh boy I can't wait until 2024 when I can wake up to my Apple Homepod Siri alarm and check my Apple Watch for notifications and take a shower in my Apple Big Douche then put my makeup on before work in my Apple Mirror then take my Apple Car to my job at Apple Phone Plant #584 so I can work on my Mac Pro workstation designing the latest Apple Product the iShit smart toilet that syncs with your iAsshole to sense when you have a massive log brewing in my large intestine and sends me a notification to my apple colonoscopy bag. Russian hackers will know what I had for dinner.
WallStreetBets
bears are always fucked
Last week I went to go outside for a smoke and this other guy was there smoking as well. We got to talking and the talk of options trading came up. I accidentally slipped that I had bought a SPY put to hedge my portfolio. He immediately gets excited takes off his pants and bends over. Didn't realize he was a ๐๐ป this whole time. Ofcourse I obliged cause bers r always fukkd
WallStreetBets
Daily WSB trader routine
1. Wake up
2. Check memfolio, buy more PLTR calls
3. Shit while looking at charts, donโt wipe
4. Fomo and buy the top
5. Watch stock Plummet
6. Sell, watch stock go up
7. Go to WSB and downvote everything
8. Jerk off, nut, realize how empty you are
9. Stare at futures for 3 hours
10. Sleep & repeat
WallStreetBets
Stonks only go up. But you don't.
You watch her as she brushes her hair. Sheโs humming a song you canโt quite hear and smiling to herself. Not for the first time, you wonder why this person chose you.
She turns. โWhat do you want for Christmas?โ You want to scream Save your money!, but you only shrug. โNothing, really.โ
โNothing?โ She crawls into bed and touches your leg. โAre you sure?โ Again, you wonder why this person chose you.
As she takes the weight of you in her hand, your mind wanders. To your puts. Theyโll expire worthless, like you. After several minutes of failing to conjure your manhood, she asks, โWhatโs wrong?โ
Stonks only go up.
But you donโt.