[Copypasta] Masculinity is now illegal

As of this morning πŸŒ„, masculinity πŸ’ͺπŸ†πŸ‘€ is NO 🚫❌ LONGER πŸ“ LEGAL πŸŒβš–. If you πŸ‘ˆ are masculine πŸ‘΄, please πŸ™πŸ™‡β€β™‚οΈ report πŸ“„ to your πŸ‘ˆπŸΌ nearest πŸ’ž Femboy πŸ‘—πŸ’β€β™‚οΈ Education πŸŽ“ Center 🏒✈, clean-shaven and wearing πŸ‘•πŸ‘–πŸ‘ž thigh-high socks 🧦. Those who fail 🚫 to follow πŸ‘£ these orders πŸ“‘πŸŽ WILL BE CANCELLED ❌🚷😑.
December 2020
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Top secret highly classified storingo

twitchquotes: My name is Edmond Krune from Australia. I work with the Australian border patrol and we have been receiving multiple immigrants by the name of "imaqtpie". After assembling intelligence from all our data bases we have traced it down to this website. Please make sure to stop immigrating into Australia Mr. imaqtpie. Please do not copy and paste this top secret highly classified storingo dogeringo.
twitch chat
December 2014
imaqtpie

I hate British people

Lame ass British motherfucking broken teeth tea drinking small country weird accent monocle top hat wearer bitchass motherfuckers with their poor hygiene and dental care and a shitty bitchass old ass motherfucking queen that was alive during the fucking Boston tea party just to say β€œOH WHAT BLOODY WANKERS” towards the Americans who made the smart ass decision to throw their dumbass motherfucking tea into the fucking BOSTON HARBOR then say β€œsee you” and get the fuck out and start a new nation and shit cause they couldn’t tolerate people who put the letter β€œu” into the word color and call cookies fucking BISCUTS, the British cant even see straight with their crossed-ass eyes and their messed up teeth and EVERYTIME they take a bite atleast 8 of their teeth on their crooked-ass jaws are shoved into their tongues and the top of their worthless ass bitchass motherfucking mouths and then, with a mouth full of blood, they’ll say β€œOH HOW FUCKING SCRUMPTIOUS” like shut the fuck up bitch no one wants to hear your accent that sounds worse than motherfucking nails on a chalkboard. Just. SHUT. THE FUCK. UP. Lameass wankers.
February 2021

British People

Smoking Frog

β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–„β–€β–„β–„β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–„β–‘β–ˆβ–„ β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–‘β–€β–€β–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–€β–‘β–‘ β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–ˆβ–‘β–„β–€β–„β–‘β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–€β–„β–‘ β–€β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„(_Μ…_Μ…_Μ…_Μ…_Μ…_Μ…_Μ…_Μ…_Μ…_Μ…_Μ…_Μ…_Μ…_Μ… () ΰΈ”ΰΉ‰ΰΉ‡ΰΉ‡ΰΉ‡ΰΉ‡ΰΉ‡ΰΉ‰ΰΉ‡ΰΉ‡ΰΉ‡ΰΉ‡ΰΉ‡ΰΉ‰ΰΉ‡ΰΉ‡ΰΉ‡ΰΉ‡ΰΉ‡ΰΉ‰ΰΉ‡ΰΉ‡ΰΉ‡ΰΉ‡ΰΉ‡ΰΉ‰ΰΉ‡ΰΉ‡ΰΉ‡ΰΉ‡ΰΉ‡ΰΉ‰ΰΉ‡ΰΉ‡ΰΉ‡ΰΉ‡ΰΉ‡ΰΉ‰ΰΉ‡ΰΉ‡ΰΉ‡ΰΉ‡ΰΉ‡ΰΉ‰ΰΉ‡ΰΉ‡ΰΉ‡ΰΉ‡ΰΉ‡ . β–‘β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘
May 2017

I went to see Cars in the theater yesterday

Ok, this is ABSOLUTE fucking bullshit. I went to see Cars in the theater yesterday, and when Lightning McQueen got HOT with Sally in Radiator Springs, my boner engaged. When Lightning McQueen said "Ka-Chow!", I couldn't help it!!! I closed my eyes, and I TORE my dick to shreds, using whip like motions and pulled with great force. That was one of the best nuts I ever had, just thinking about it now gets me riled up. Thing is, I nutted all over the kid sitting right next to me, and his mom got all pissed at me, screaming at me for jacking off on her son. I told that bitch to shut the fuck up, and that jacking off is a natural, artistic, and beautiful process. You should BE HAPPY that my semen is all over your son, maybe he can learn a lesson or two about the culture and art of jacking off. HOWEVER, the movie theater managers didn't agree with me. They KICKED ME OUT of the movie theater, and I didn't even finish watching the Cars movie. Not only THAT, but they made me clean up my semen after it already dried out and solidified on the seats. THATS TORTURE!! Do you know how hard it is to clean semen after its dried out? You CLEAN semen after its FRESH out of your cock, not an hour after you fucking nutted. This is a fucking OUTRAGE. Do you really expect me to not whip out my cock and jack off when i see a HOT sex scene in a movie? Either don't ban sex scenes in movies, or LET ME jack off in your theater, assholes.
December 2020

Hey Reynad, I am from Trump's stream

twitchquotes: Hey Reynad, I am from Trump's stream. To make me feel more comfortable could you please turn off your music, shift around uncomfortably, and have prolonged moments of silence? Thankerino
twitch chat
November 2014
Reynad
Text-to-Speech Playing