[Copypasta] Masculinity is now illegal

As of this morning 🌄, masculinity 💪🍆👀 is NO 🚫❌ LONGER 📏 LEGAL 🌍⚖. If you 👈 are masculine 👴, please 🙏🙇‍♂️ report 📄 to your 👈🏼 nearest 💞 Femboy 👗💁‍♂️ Education 🎓 Center 🏢✈, clean-shaven and wearing 👕👖👞 thigh-high socks 🧦. Those who fail 🚫 to follow 👣 these orders 📑🎁 WILL BE CANCELLED ❌🚷😡.
December 2020
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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Response to "go fuck yourself"

What if I'm already fucking myself? Behind this simple insult hides a universal paradox that may put your sexuality in question. Let's do a simple thought experiment: imagine us two standing in front of each other. I, of course, am wearing a pair of jeans, that are covering my genitals and my butt. You then command me to "go fuck myself". I may be fucking myself already. I may as well not be fucking myself already. Until my dick and its position relative to my ass is observed, it is simultaneously in my ass, but also outside of it - thus, it stays in superposition. The moment you lay eyes on my penis, both states collide with each other and become either one. You may have already guessed what the problem here is. As soon as a single photon reflected by my dick enters either one of your eyes, you become gay. The only way to avoid this is to not observe my penis. But if you don't look at it, then you will never know if your insult had any effect, thus rendering it meaningless. Since you have already made the insult, you are now, too, in superposition - you're either wrong, or gay. It's unfortunate, really - you dug a hole for yourself without even knowing it. All you can do now is accept it, and learn from your mistakes.
April 2020

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Fabulous

⊂_ヽ 　 ＼＼ ＿ 　　 ＼(　•_•) F 　　　 <　⌒ヽ A 　　　/ 　 へ＼ B 　　 /　　/　＼＼ U 　　 ﾚ　ノ　　 ヽ_つ L 　　/　/ O 　 /　/| U 　(　(ヽ S 　|　|、＼ 　| 丿 ＼ ⌒) 　| |　　) / `ノ )　　Lﾉ (_／
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December 2020

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March 2021

HOIST THY DONGERS

twitchquotes: ヽ༼Ὸل͜ຈ༽ﾉ HOIST THY DONGERS ヽ༼Ὸل͜ຈ༽ﾉ
twitch chat
April 2015
Reynad

It seems you've tarried Mrump

twitchquotes: Do you take Rania to be your lawfully wedded wife?" asks the priest. Kripp smiles as he slips the ring on her finger. "Yes I do," he says, squinting in the glare of a foggy day. The priest says, "You may kiss the bride." as the crowd cheers. Kripp lifts Rania's veil and recoils in horror. Trump smirks, "It seems you've tarried Mrump."
twitch chat
February 2015
Kripp
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