[Copypasta] Masculinity is now illegal

As of this morning ๐ŸŒ„, masculinity ๐Ÿ’ช๐Ÿ†๐Ÿ‘€ is NO ๐ŸšซโŒ LONGER ๐Ÿ“ LEGAL ๐ŸŒโš–. If you ๐Ÿ‘ˆ are masculine ๐Ÿ‘ด, please ๐Ÿ™๐Ÿ™‡โ€โ™‚๏ธ report ๐Ÿ“„ to your ๐Ÿ‘ˆ๐Ÿผ nearest ๐Ÿ’ž Femboy ๐Ÿ‘—๐Ÿ’โ€โ™‚๏ธ Education ๐ŸŽ“ Center ๐Ÿขโœˆ, clean-shaven and wearing ๐Ÿ‘•๐Ÿ‘–๐Ÿ‘ž thigh-high socks ๐Ÿงฆ. Those who fail ๐Ÿšซ to follow ๐Ÿ‘ฃ these orders ๐Ÿ“‘๐ŸŽ WILL BE CANCELLED โŒ๐Ÿšท๐Ÿ˜ก.
December 2020
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Am I the asshole for dropping my 6 year old son at an orphanage for his inability to trade options?

This started about 4 years ago when my son was 2 years old. I started to supplement his picture books and cartoons with beginner options books and Martin Shkerli's live videos on how to pick pharmaceutical stocks. Over the course of these years I feel like he has retained absolutely nothing even though I have spent every waking minute trying to make him understand. I have done almost everything that I have thought of including having Jerome Powell's speeches play while he is sleeping and only having Warren Buffet on the TV to try and make him understand the market. I felt as though I got to a breaking point when he couldn't differentiate between a straddle and a strangle even though we we went through different strategies for almost a month straight. I finally convinced my wife that we were doing the right thing when I said that he will soon be a Wendy's worker begging his wife's husband for a weekly allowance because he will never amount to be anything. I couldn't fathom raising a kid who was not able to able to make a profit from trading options by the time he was 10. With all that said if anyone wants a 6 year old child who is shitty at market strategy check out Eternal Sunny Orphanage in Omaha, Nebraska and maybe your luck will be better than mine with him.
September 2021

Am I The Asshole?

WallStreetBets

Epik skill-capped MEMER LORD

twitchquotes: Yo QT, it's me... Scarra... I know what we said before and I hope we can just put it behind us... We need an Epik skill-capped MEMER LORD to come carry us. Peng Yalang just isn't doing it for us anymore.... FailFish
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December 2014
imaqtpie

HOLD THE LINE

twitchquotes: HOLD THE LINE EVERYONE ๐Ÿฅ WutFace _ ๐Ÿ”ช
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March 2016
Kripp

hello my name is Carlos i from Turkmenistan

twitchquotes: hello my name is Carlos i from Turkmenistan. I watch master Q.T.PIE stream everytiem. i have no arm or leg so i playing with my huge !@#$%. I quit my job at the teemo mushroom factori to becom pro player. I go from bronze IV to gold IX in six monts. pls no
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November 2014
imaqtpie

You fool. The statement "It's opposite day" is paradoxical by nature.

You fool. You imbecile. You absolute buffoon. You cannot simply say "I'm gay! It's Opposite Day btw". The statement "It's Opposite Day" is paradoxical by nature. With the logic that everything said during Opposite Day is untrue, saying "It's Opposite Day" on Opposite Day negates that statement. Because the statement "It's Opposite Day" is now untrue, it is no longer Opposite Day and therefore your original remark is now correct. That means it IS opposite day, and a neverending cycle that is known as The Liar's Paradox is created. You were a complete idiot not to invoke the conditional clause. For example, if you were to say, "If it were opposite day, I'd be gay!" your statement would not be holed. You have been snared within a web of your own making. Listen to the sky crack and fall. The universe will implode on itself and it's your own fault.
September 2021
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