[Copypasta] Masculinity is now illegal

As of this morning ๐ŸŒ„, masculinity ๐Ÿ’ช๐Ÿ†๐Ÿ‘€ is NO ๐ŸšซโŒ LONGER ๐Ÿ“ LEGAL ๐ŸŒโš–. If you ๐Ÿ‘ˆ are masculine ๐Ÿ‘ด, please ๐Ÿ™๐Ÿ™‡โ€โ™‚๏ธ report ๐Ÿ“„ to your ๐Ÿ‘ˆ๐Ÿผ nearest ๐Ÿ’ž Femboy ๐Ÿ‘—๐Ÿ’โ€โ™‚๏ธ Education ๐ŸŽ“ Center ๐Ÿขโœˆ, clean-shaven and wearing ๐Ÿ‘•๐Ÿ‘–๐Ÿ‘ž thigh-high socks ๐Ÿงฆ. Those who fail ๐Ÿšซ to follow ๐Ÿ‘ฃ these orders ๐Ÿ“‘๐ŸŽ WILL BE CANCELLED โŒ๐Ÿšท๐Ÿ˜ก.
December 2020
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

My SUSSY POWERS ARE AWAKENING

My SUSSY POWERS ARE AWAKENING ๐Ÿ˜ฑ๐Ÿ˜Ž Part 1. I just did my daily jackoff โ˜บ๏ธ to my impostor body pillow, ๐Ÿ˜ฑ but when I came, ๐Ÿ‘ป I started floating, ๐Ÿ˜ฑ and think I got teleported into the skeld. ๐Ÿ˜ฎ I swear for a second I felt the imposter's strong hands grip my asscheeks.๐Ÿคค ๐Ÿ‘ ๐Ÿ‘ I immediately was transported back to earth, ๐Ÿ˜ญ and I instantly got on all fours on my bed naked, ๐Ÿคช as you would, and started screaming in my best efforts to summon the imposter ๐Ÿ’ช โ€œIM READY FUCK ME FUCK ME FUCK ME FUCK ME PLEASE DADDY IMPOSTERโ€ I was so close to feeling the imposters sweet cock fuck the shit out of me ๐Ÿคค but then my NAZI RACIST mother came in and beat the shit out of me. ๐Ÿ˜”๐Ÿ˜’๐Ÿ™โ˜น๏ธ She then said I was going to a magical place called the โ€œmental asylumโ€ ๐Ÿค” Iโ€™m not too sure where that dimension is located but it sounds EPIC ๐Ÿ˜ฎ
April 2022

Among Us / Amogus

A scholar hates twitch chat

The myriad of idiosyncratic atrocities bestowed on this chat from these juvenile delinquents have caused a monstruous amount of turmoil and I cannot fathom this type of malignancy. These futile behaviors have abruptly penetrated the purity of my dear soul.
June 2021

Hungrybox at a grocery store

I saw Hungrybox at a grocery store in Los Angeles yesterday. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didnโ€™t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for photos or anything. He said, โ€œOh, like youโ€™re doing now?โ€ I was taken aback, and all I could say was โ€œHuh?โ€ but he kept cutting me off and going โ€œhuh? huh? huh?โ€ and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen green bandannas in his hands without paying. The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like โ€œSir, you need to pay for those first.โ€ At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter. When she took one of the bandannas and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to scan them each individually โ€œto prevent any electrical infetterence,โ€ and then turned around and rested me. I donโ€™t even think thatโ€™s a word. After she scanned each bandanna and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by popping off really loudly.
January 2019
Hungrybox

Super Smash Bros

This is why eSports will never...

twitchquotes: This is why eSports will never hit the general public as hard as for instance soccer. the way you kids are spamming this chat is just ruining the whole experience for a grown man. Seriously. Grow up.
twitch chat
August 2018

Classic

Yuletide tunes in your playlist

twitchquotes: (โ•ญเฒฐ_โ€ขฬ)\c[] Dear Mr. Andrey Yanyuk, may I humbly suggest the implementation of Yuletide tunes in your playlist for the day good sir? (โ•ญเฒฐ_โ€ขฬ)\c[]
twitch chat
December 2014
Reynad
Text-to-Speech Playing