[Copypasta] That hunk of a man is an E-sports athlete?

twitchquotes: That hunk of a man, [insert Cyber sportsman here], is an E-sports athlete? Unbelievable. Kreygasm He could be a Calvin Klein model. Kreygasm Or a pro footballer with a ripped physique like that. Kreygasm That is by far the hottest Cyber sportsman to ever grace the esports industry. Kreygasm
twitch chat
October 2020
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MORB

⣿⣿⠿⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⣿⣿⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⡿⠋⠁⠀⣀⣀⣀⣀⠀⠈⠙⢿⣿ ⣿⣿⠀⠀⢠⠀⠀⢿⣿⡟⠀⢠⠀⠀⠀⣿⡿⠀⠀⢠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠀⠀⢻ ⣿⣿⠀⠀⢸⣇⠀⠈⡿⠀⠀⣼⡆⠀⠀⣿⡇⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⢸ ⣿⣿⠀⠀⢸⣿⡀⠀⠀⠀⣸⣿⡇⠀⠀⣿⣿⡄⠀⠈⠻⢿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠁⠀⢀⣾ ⣿⣿⣀⣀⣸⣿⣧⣀⣀⣀⣿⣿⣇⣀⣀⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⣀⡀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣠⣴⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠀⠀⢀⣀⣀⣀⡀⠀⠈⠙⢿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣀⡀⠀⠈⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠀⠀⢨⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠀⠀⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠀⠀⢀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣴⣾⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣀⣀⡀⠀⠘⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣦⡀⠀⠈⠻⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠀⠀⢹⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡀⠀⠘⢻⣿⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠉⠉⠀⠀⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
July 2022

Morbius

To the conservative suburban woman behind me in line at Subway yesterday:

To the conservative suburban woman behind me in line at Subway yesterday: I’m sorry I kept referring to Fred’s liberally mayo’d oven-roasted chicken sub as a “bukkake special”. I’m sorry that you kept demanding that your teenage son explain why he was laughing so hard. I’m extra sorry that this turn of events led you to practically yelling “ETHAN, WHAT IS A BUKKAKE SPECIAL?” in the middle of a crowded restaurant.
August 2021

I have never come across a single person who cared about what you just said

Hi there! My name is Michael Grover, and I am an explorer. Ever since I’ve been little, I’ve loved searching for new things. As a baby, my parents kept finding me in nooks and crannies around the house. “On the search” as they would say. By the age of 5, I had been to every continent on the planet, barring Antarctica. For my 12th birthday, my parents got me diving lessons, and by the time I was 13, I could scuba dive to a depth of 40 meters, as well as go cave diving. I got a pilot’s license by the age of 17, and I learned to sail just before my 18th birthday. Instead of going to university, I decided to travel around South America, exploring its rich jungles and beautiful landscapes. During my trip, I met my now wife who was also an explorer. For our honeymoon, we sailed around the Caribbean and we discovered 3 new islands which we named after the cats that I had growing up. Over the course of my life, I have come across great treasures and wondrous experiences. But in all my life, and in all my travels, I’m afraid I have never come across a single person who cared about what you just said.
April 2021

Reynad wakes up after the final night of Blizzcon

twitchquotes: Reynad wakes up after the final night of Blizzcon. "Never lucky", he says. "I wouldn't say that", says a voice to his side. Reynad rolls over and to his surprise, it's a hot grill. "Wow! How did I manage this?", he asks. "You are very persuasive", purrs the grill. "What's your name?" Reynad asks. "Chat calls me Scamaz", Scamaz laughs as he pulls off his wig.
twitch chat
November 2015
Reynad

Unicorn

⢠⣤⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⢦⡀⠀⢰⢆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠙⣎⠙⠲⢤⣀⠀⠀⠀⡌⠈⣗⣄⡌⠘⣷⣀⣠⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠈⢦⡀⠀⠈⠙⠲⢄⣣⡖⣯⡷⣧⠀⢸⢿⣦⡀⠈⠳⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠳⡄⠀⠀⠀⠈⣿⣼⣯⣄⣿⣦⣸⢸⣏⠻⣤⣀⣈⣷⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠳⢤⠤⠴⠻⣯⠈⠋⠙⠃⠀⠈⣿⠻⣾⡿⠛⠁⠉⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡰⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣴⣄⠀⠀⠀⠈⠷⣤⡛⠛⢿⣿⡟⢹⡄⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡜⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⠿⠿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢻⡙⢹⡏⠿⣆⣹⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢀⡞⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⠾⢷⡞⠁⣀⠙⢿⠂⠀ ⠀⠀⢀⢾⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢷⡀⣿⠀⢸⡄⠀ ⠀⠀⡞⠘⢧⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⡾⣷⣾⠇⠀ ⠀⢸⠈⠿⠀⠙⠲⣄⠀⠀⢀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣠⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⠇⢀⣼⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠳⣄⠀⠀⠀⣘⠷⠊⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢴⣶⠿⠖⠛⣿⡄⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠛⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣄⠀⢀⣠⠖⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
September 2021
Text-to-Speech Playing