[Copypasta] That hunk of a man is an E-sports athlete?

twitchquotes: That hunk of a man, [insert Cyber sportsman here], is an E-sports athlete? Unbelievable. Kreygasm He could be a Calvin Klein model. Kreygasm Or a pro footballer with a ripped physique like that. Kreygasm That is by far the hottest Cyber sportsman to ever grace the esports industry. Kreygasm
twitch chat
October 2020
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Toast the rarity of your reveal card was nerfed

twitchquotes: Toast, this is Blizzard employee. The rarity of your reveal card was just nerfed to common. To get a rare card, please mention the new expansion at least 4 more times.
twitch chat
July 2019
DisguisedToast

Hearthstone

Among Us teaches us to punish minorities

Among Us (coloquially termed "amogus") teaches us to punish the minority and hate those who are different and unique as "impostors." Instead, I like the breath of fresh air this problem provides as a new perspective on deduction that is not "red is sus, red vented, etc." that has been dominating the jokes of my peers and the view of my feed. Yet, by trying to force this problem to conform to "amogus," you yourself are trying to crush originality and uniqueness. Among Us is a game ultimately convincing us to conform to menial labor as "tasks" and accept the deal of being just like the rest of the crewmates.
October 2021

Among Us / Amogus

Yao Ming Face / Bitch Please

β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆ β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆ β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆ β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–ˆ β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–€β–ˆβ–„β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆ β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘ β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–„β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘ β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–„β–„β–„β–„β–‘β–€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–„β–„β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘
July 2015

Beavis

β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ‘Ώβ Ώβ Ÿβ ›β ›β ›β »β Ώβ Ÿβ ›β ›β ›β »β Ώβ’Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώ β£Ώβ£Ώβ‘Ώβ Ÿβ ›β β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β ˆβ ‰β ›β Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώ β£Ώβ£Ώβ ‡β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β ˆβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώ ⣿⣿⣆⑀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄Ⓓ⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⑀⠄⣠⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣄⑀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄Ⓒ⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⑆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣸⣿⣿⣿ β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ‘€β’Έβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ‘Ώβ’Ÿβ£«β£­β£Ώβ£Ώβ ƒβ „β „β „β „β „β „β „β’ β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠄⠩Ⓙ⠯⣓⠛⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣄⣀⠐⠄⠄⠄⠄⒀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿ β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ‘Ώβ ¦β „β£°β‘’β Άβ’Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£­β£€β „β „β’€β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣁⣀⑉⠁⠀⠄⠒⠛⠛⒋⣉⣡⣾⣿⣿⣿⑇⒠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⑀⒲⣢⣢⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⑇⠸⠿Ⓙ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£·β£Άβ£Άβ£Άβ£Ύβ‘Ώβ ‹β ‰β „β „β ‰β ›β ›β ‰β ‰β „β „β „β ˆβ’Ήβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώ β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ ƒβ „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β’ β‘„β’€β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⑇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄Ⓒ⑇Ⓒ⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⒀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣸⑇Ⓒ⣿⣿⣿
July 2022

we don't operate on empty jars of spaghetti sauce

gf is prego we like to get kinky anyways one night things get particularly saucy i'm sticking my noodle in her when I notice weird fucking chunks coming out, so I turn on the lights wtf it's red everywhere and she's obviously not on her period i look up at her, she's got a glassy, jarred look on her face and she's not answering ohshitohshitohshitohshit i rush her into my car and speed all the way to the hospital she's still bleeding everywhere by the time we get there, she's not bleeding much anymore, but all the color has drained and she looks colorless and almost transparent oh shit, she looks like she's in a vegetative state storm into to the emergency room, cary her to the nearest doctor and explain eveything he takes one look at ther and says "sir, i'm sorry, there's nothing we can do" "WHY THE FUCK NOT???" "we don't operate on empty jars of spaghetti sauce"
February 2021

Classic

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