[Copypasta] I can no longer resist the pizza

twitchquotes: I can no longer resist the pizza. I open the box and unzip my pants with my other hand. As I penetrate the gooey cheese, I moan in ecstacy. The mushrooms and Italian sausage are rough, but the sauce is deliciously soothing. I blow my load in seconds. As you leave the bathroom, I exit through the front door....
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp
Waiting for adblock to be disabled
More Kripp Copypastas

The unluckiest human ever

twitchquotes: BREAKING NEWS - Canadian scientists have discovered what they are calling "the unluckiest human ever". The unfortunate individual, a scraggly, foul-smelling, unkempt Canadian man, discovered this condition by badly playing a digital children's card game. "It's literally unbelievable, dude", the man told scientists. "I play every game perfectly, but my opponents just keep topdecking me!" The man continued to whine incessantly until, unfortunately, he dropped dead of a salt overdose.
twitch chat
June 2016
Kripp

Kripp wash your hands after toilet

twitchquotes: Hey @nl_Kripp , disabled former Streamer here. You're reacting pretty aggressive to your chat's worries regarding your hand washing after toilet. It seems you have something to hide. Let me tell you something: I was there too. I went to the toilet and didn't wash my hands. Nobody saw it, nobody would know it. But chat asked. And I lied. Then I got sick. My hands got infected from bacteria and had to be amputated. Now I can't play games any more for a living. Don't make the same mistake, Kripp.
twitch chat
December 2018
Kripp

When RICK talk, my hand automatically go to my ears

twitchquotes: Ｗｈｅｎ Ｒ I C K Ｔaｌｋ， Ｍｙ Ｈａｎｄ Ａｕｔｏｍａｔｉｃａｌｌｙ Ｇｏ Ｔｏ Ｍｙ Ｅａｒｓ． Ｉ Ｈｅａｒ Ｉｇｎｏｒａｎｃｅ Ｉｎ Ｅｖｅｒｙ Ｓｅｎｔｅｎｃｅ Ａｎｄ Ｆｅｅｌ Ｌｉｋｅ Ｉ＇ｍ Ｈａｖｉｎｇ Ａｎ Ａｎｅｕｒｙｓｍ． Ａｌｌ Ｂｅｃｏｍｉｎｇ Ｓｈｕｔ Ｔｈｅ Ｆｕｃｋ Ｕｐ
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp

Reynad's Lawyer

twitchquotes: ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽_•︻̷̿┻̿═━一 Greetings, I am Reynad's new lawyer, Gino Pasterino. It appears you are playing one of my client's decks, which is now under copyright at the US patent offices. Please desist immediately or be subject to monetary fines and penalties. No cappuccino.
twitch chat
June 2014
Kripp

Please top switching the first 2 letters of words

twitchquotes: Dear chat, please top switching the first 2 letters of words; thereby forming a new or complety bogus word. For example in the two word sentence: "MIC MUTED". I and manny others have no idea what this means because you have switched the M with M and the M with the M. This confuses me to infinity. Thanks in advanced.
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp
More Kripp Copypastas
Text-to-Speech Playing