[Copypasta] if you are a single girl and also a gamer

twitchquotes: if you are a single girl and also a gamer please send me a direct message so that I can get to know you :) no, this is not a joke or a "copypasta" I'm genuinely looking to find someone who shares my passions
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July 2020
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BALDING not MALDING

twitchquotes: Look at all of these non-intellectuals in chat. They struggle so hard to spell simple words such as "bald". They always type "mald" in chat instead. The pure stupidity in chat makes me lose hair in a way in which my hairline recedes aka "BALDING" not "MALDING".
twitch chat
July 2019

A chef explaining why air fryers are a scam on r/unpopularopinion

As a chef, itā€™s an insult to hear ā€œair fryers are as good as fryingā€. Air fryers are fucking bullshit scams and are just convection ovens with an extra fan added. Seriously, pan searing or regular baking will always be better. I swear to shit Jared if I hear you compare fried chicken to air fried chicken one more time Iā€™m gonna smack the gob out of you. Edit: Iā€™m in danger, I never realized how deep the air fryer fandom goes. I will die on this hill Edit2: Iā€™ll never stop upvoting and loving you all butā€¦ but Iā€™m just gonna go cry about something totally different.. Edit3: i think id be a lot less upset if it was called an ā€œextra air ovenā€ as its a convection oven with extra fans. Edit4: if I had a dollar for every comment ā€œyou clearly donā€™t own an air fryerā€ Iā€™d be able to put it towards a new toaster oven. Edit5: the chances of getting doxxed over kitchen appliances isnā€™t high.. but never zero. Edit6: apparently air fryers are taking my job? Sorry boys and girls, no more foi gras for the rich.
November 2021

Dex sits in a huge doghouse

twitchquotes: A few feet offscreen, Dex sits in a huge doghouse. Full and content because of his "kibbles and bits" diet, he's too happy to move. He's so happy, and enjoys life. He knows his owner has hope of a 12 win run. He knows he could draw attention to himself, since he's the king of his house. In a single act of pride, Dex barks to give Kripp his praise. "Good boy Dex" is his response.
twitch chat
April 2018
Kripp

My mom took away my Xbox

twitchquotes: My mom took away my Xbox. This is the saddest moment in my life. The most pain and unimaginable suffering I have ever felt before. Have I been a bad boy? Is that why she did what she did? I donā€™t know. I have so many questions. I also have depression because of lack of Xbox. I canā€™t play Minecraft. I love Minecraft so so much, itā€™s my favorite game in the entire world. Why would she take such joy and happiness away from me? Does she think I do bad things on there? If so, she should know that I join good Christian Minecraft servers only. Thatā€™s it.... I give up. I canā€™t fr*cking take another painful second of this anymore. This torture is what has been depressing me for so long. I swear to h**k, Iā€™ll get that Xbox back if it kills me.
twitch chat
December 2018

AITA for ending my marriage over Animal Crossing??

I (65m) and my wife 24(f) have been together for 8 years, married for 4. All my friends are jealous that i was able to score such a hot young woman but itā€™s starting to cause some problems in our relationship believe it or not. When the pandemic hit, I was very nervous since Iā€™m not in great health. We decided to buy the Nintendo Switch and play this game called Animal Crossing. I guess itā€™s popular with the kids? Anywho, we start building this town and everything was fine at first. Then, my wife decides that she wants to remodel the town. No problem. But she starts cutting down all the trees, destroying the cliffs, removing the river, etc... I told her this is out of line. We should respect nature not destroy it. Her answer? It was ugly and she didnā€™t like to walk the long way around. She also takes all of my hard earned money from fishing and gambles it all away on turnip stocks. Last week she spent 400k on turnips and sold them for 260k. Do you know how many red snappers I need to catch to make that back up? Iā€™m trying to retire soon and itā€™s making me think she doesnā€™t know how to manage money. What really drove me to the breaking point, my best friend Boon is on the island and we really get along. He likes to lift weights, so do I. I log into the game one day and build him a gift. When I try to find him, heā€™s nowhere to be found... I ask, where is boon? She doesnā€™t answer. Where is Boon ?? She says ā€œI kicked him off the island, he was annoyingā€. Reddit, she kicked my best friend off the island without even talking to me. The next day I filed for divorce and kicked her out. Iā€™m keeping the switch and rebuilding our town. Hopefully Boon comes back. AITA or did I doge a bullet with my sociopathic (ex)wife? Edit: Thank you all for the support and messages over the last 24hrs. Itā€™s been a wild day but the good news is that after a few hours of island hopping I was able to find Boon and convince him to come back to my island. Seems like things are heading in the right direction.
August 2021

AITA

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