[Copypasta] if you are a single girl and also a gamer

twitchquotes: if you are a single girl and also a gamer please send me a direct message so that I can get to know you :) no, this is not a joke or a "copypasta" I'm genuinely looking to find someone who shares my passions
twitch chat
July 2020
Waiting for adblock to be disabled
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Lying about service dogs

I work in a restaurant. We only allow dogs in if they are service dogs. If anyone comes in with any dog I ask; β€˜Is it a service dog?’ With a big wink to give them the opportunity to lie to me making it obvious I want them to. If at first they say β€˜no’ I reply with β€˜are you sure? This dog here? Sure looks like a service dog to me. Are you sure this is not a service dog?’with another big wink Always works. I love dogs
July 2021

Sorry I've dropped my bag of Religious Symbols

twitchquotes: β˜ͺ ✑ † ☨ ✞ ✝ β˜₯ ☦ β˜“ ♁ ☩ β˜ͺ ✑ † ☨ ✞ ✝ β˜₯ ☦ β˜“ ♁ ☩ β˜ͺ ✑ † ☨ ✞ ✝ β˜₯ ☦ β˜“ ♁ ☩ Sorry I've dropped my bag of Religious Symbols β˜ͺ ✑ † ☨ ✞ ✝ β˜₯ ☦ β˜“ ♁ ☩ .β˜ͺ ✑ † ☨ ✞ ✝ β˜₯ ☦ β˜“ ♁ ☩ β˜ͺ ✑ † ☨ ✞ ✝ β˜₯ ☦ β˜“ ♁ ☩
twitch chat
August 2015
strifecro

bbz will u luv me 4evr

gurl was walkin2 skewl wit her bf n they were crossin da rode. she sed "bbz will u luv me 4evr" he said "NO.." ... da gurl cryed N ran across da rode b4 da green man came on the sine. boy was cryin and went to pic up her body. she was ded. he whispered 2 her corpse "I ment 2 sey i will luv u FIVE-ever..." (dat mean he luv her moar den 4evr) xxx~*...LIKE DIS IF U CRY EVRY TIME...~*xxx
March 2021

Classic

I couldn’t tell you what half of the companies in my portfolio do

I couldn’t tell you what half of the companies in my portfolio do or even what the ticker stands for...but you better believe I’m jacked to the mf’ing tits in every single meme stonk that you crayon eaters have been pumping. CHOO CHOO MF’ER.
December 2020

WallStreetBets

Asmongold’s Defence for Brony Accusation

"Listen. Just because I know who Rainbow Dash is, and I know what Equestria is, and Princess Celestia is, and I- I know uh, other things about the thing too probably I- probably I think about it, I don't know - Just because I know that stuff - Pinkie Pie, yeah, the- I don't- Look, it- I- I'm not- no, sounds like you know the story- of course, LISTEN, what do they say, keep your friends close and your enemies closer guys, t- remember- remember how they say that? Wh-what do you- wait, there's nothing wrong with this, it's- it's- that's, SEE? Look guys, yeah, TRUE, TRUE, yep, and absolutely not, nope we're downvoting this one, no, nope nope nope, that's not true, sus-"
April 2022
Asmongold
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