[Copypasta] JPOW was casually eating dinner

twitchquotes: JPOW was casually eating dinner with his wife and kids for Mother’s Day.. opened his investing.com app.. saw futures were red.. stopped mid dinner and folded his napkin.. headed to the basement.. fired up his money printers.. all why murming I’ll get these bears.. his wife yelled down and asked if he wanted dessert.. he didn’t even answer (and he loves dessert)
twitch chat
May 2020
I used to be a real ad
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Dude I own this NFT

Dude I own this NFT. Do you really think you can get away with theft when you're showing what you stole directly to my face. My lawyers will make an easy job of this case. Prepare to say goodbye to your luscious life and start preparing for the streets. I will ruin you.
November 2021

NFTs

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March 2021

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Apparently I "ruined" Thanksgiving dinner

twitchquotes: Apparently I "ruined" Thanksgiving dinner by bringing my girlfriend Asuka. My mum didn't care that she was a giat robot pilot, tasked with protecting the world after the Second Impact. She insisted that Asuka isn't real and now we're banned from the local country club. Anyways, my mum says if I don't bring a "real" girl to our Christmas dinner I'm going to get kicked out of the house!!! Asuka sets the bar pretty high but if you think you can compete with her please message me :)
twitch chat
May 2019

Weebs

Emoji move emoji review

twitchquotes: A 👌 whole 💦 town 🏪 of 💦 beings, 👀 confined to 💦 feeling 😜 one 😤 emotion their 🍆 entire 👏 life. 👤 That 😐 could 🔒 honestly 👏 be 🐝 the 👏 focus of 💦 an 👹 entire 👏 movie, 🎥 but 🍑 in 👏 the 👏 emoji 😂 movie 🎥 that's 😦 just 👏 the 👏 world 🌎 they 👥 live 🙅 in, 👏 and 👏 yet 😇 these 👈 beings 👀 don't 🚫 question 😩 it 💯 and 👏 carry 🔛 on 🔛 their 🍆 lives 📴 as 🍑 normal... 😐 the 👏 emoji 😂 movie 🎥 takes 😉 a 👌 far 🌌 more 🍗 subtle 🙈 approach 😜 meaning critics probably 😻 didn't 🚫 notice the 👏 strong 💪 existential themes present 💲 in 👏 the 👏 film upon 👦 first 👆 viewing.
twitch chat
July 2017

Emoji Pasta

You. Me. Gas station

You. Me. Gas station. What are we getting for dinner? Sushi of course. Uh oh! There was a roofie in our gas station sushi. We black out and wake up in a sewer surrounded by fish. Horny fish. You know what that means. Fish orgy. The stench draws in a bear. What do we do? We're gonna fight it. Bear fight. Bare handed. Bare, naked? Oh, yes please. We befriend the bear after we beat it in a brawl and ride it into a Chuck E. Cheese. Dance Dance Revolution. Revolution? Overthrow the government? Uh, I think so. Next thing you know, I'm reincarnated as Jesus Christ. Then I turn into a jet, fly into the sun, black out again, wake up, do a bump, white out, which I didn't even know you could do. Then I smoked a joint, greened out. Then I turn into the sun. Uh oh! Looks like the meth is kicking in. aklfhaofhasfahfakh AAAAAAAAA afahfioahflkf AAAAA
June 2021
Text-to-Speech Playing