[Copypasta] JPOW was casually eating dinner

twitchquotes: JPOW was casually eating dinner with his wife and kids for Motherโ€™s Day.. opened his investing.com app.. saw futures were red.. stopped mid dinner and folded his napkin.. headed to the basement.. fired up his money printers.. all why murming Iโ€™ll get these bears.. his wife yelled down and asked if he wanted dessert.. he didnโ€™t even answer (and he loves dessert)
twitch chat
May 2020
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Peruvians and Dota 2

twitchquotes: Let's look at this statistically. Assuming you are not Peruvian, your team has four chances to spawn a Peruvian. The other team has five chances to spawn a Peruvian. Overall, you will have less Peruvians then your opponents, and will automatically rise on the ladder. If you aren't rising, you are probably secretly a Peruvian, ruining the statistical balance of sweet victory.
twitch chat
February 2015
SingSing

Dota 2

If you watch good anime, you're a real anime fan

twitchquotes: Imagine thinking as long as you watch anime, you're a anime fan, lol what a joke. There are levels to this, if you watch bad anime and have bad taste, you're not a real anime fan. If you watch good anime and have good taste like me, you're a real anime fan. Truth hurts. #anime
twitch chat
October 2020

Weebs

PETA must be alerted

twitchquotes: Last night at Greece's most prominent Red Light District, Kripp was seen pimping out Catarrian for very cheap. PETA must be alerted of this horrid cat prostitution ring hidden under this "Twitch streaming"
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Hungrybox at a grocery store

I saw Hungrybox at a grocery store in Los Angeles yesterday. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didnโ€™t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for photos or anything. He said, โ€œOh, like youโ€™re doing now?โ€ I was taken aback, and all I could say was โ€œHuh?โ€ but he kept cutting me off and going โ€œhuh? huh? huh?โ€ and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen green bandannas in his hands without paying. The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like โ€œSir, you need to pay for those first.โ€ At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter. When she took one of the bandannas and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to scan them each individually โ€œto prevent any electrical infetterence,โ€ and then turned around and rested me. I donโ€™t even think thatโ€™s a word. After she scanned each bandanna and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by popping off really loudly.
January 2019
Hungrybox

Super Smash Bros

Ocean Man

twitchquotes: OCEAN MAN ๐ŸŒŠ ๐Ÿ˜ Take me by the hand โœ‹ lead me to the land that you understand ๐Ÿ™Œ ๐ŸŒŠ OCEAN MAN ๐ŸŒŠ ๐Ÿ˜ The voyage ๐Ÿšฒ to the corner of the ๐ŸŒŽ globe is a real trip ๐Ÿ‘Œ ๐ŸŒŠ OCEAN MAN ๐ŸŒŠ ๐Ÿ˜ The crust of a tan man ๐Ÿ‘ณ imbibed by the sand ๐Ÿ‘ Soaking up the ๐Ÿ’ฆ thirst of the land ๐Ÿ’ฏ
twitch chat
September 2016

Emoji Pasta

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