[Copypasta] JPOW was casually eating dinner

twitchquotes: JPOW was casually eating dinner with his wife and kids for Mother’s Day.. opened his investing.com app.. saw futures were red.. stopped mid dinner and folded his napkin.. headed to the basement.. fired up his money printers.. all why murming I’ll get these bears.. his wife yelled down and asked if he wanted dessert.. he didn’t even answer (and he loves dessert)
twitch chat
May 2020
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my face when americans call chips "french fries"

>my face when americans call chips "french fries" >my face when americans call crisps "chips" >my face when americans call chocolate globbernaughts "candy bars" >my face when americans call motorized rollinghams "cars" >my face when americans call merry fizzlebombs "fireworks" >my face when americans call wunderbahboxes a "PC" >my face when americans call meat water "gravy" >my face when americans call electro-rope "power cables" >my face when americans call beef wellington ensemble with lettuce a "burger" >my face when americans call whimsy flimsy mark and scribblers "pens" >my face when americans call twisting plankhandles "doorknobs" >my face when americans call breaddystack a "sandwich" >my face when americans call their hoighty toighty tippy typers "keyboards" >my face when americans call nutty-gum and fruit spleggings "peanut butter and jelly" >my face when americans call an upsy stairsy the "escalator" >my face when americans call a knittedy wittedy sheepity sleepity a "sweater" >my face when americans call a rickedy-pop a "gear shift" >my face when americans call a choco chip bucky wicky as a "cookie" >my face when americans call a pip pip gollywock a "screwdriver" >my face when americans call a rooty tooty point-n-shooty a "gun" >my face when americans call ceiling-bright a "Lightbulb" >my face when americans call blimpy bounce bounce a "ball" >my face when americans call a slippery dippery long mover a "snake" >my face when americans call cobble-stone-clippity-clops "roads"
April 2021

British People

Response to "go fuck yourself"

What if I'm already fucking myself? Behind this simple insult hides a universal paradox that may put your sexuality in question. Let's do a simple thought experiment: imagine us two standing in front of each other. I, of course, am wearing a pair of jeans, that are covering my genitals and my butt. You then command me to "go fuck myself". I may be fucking myself already. I may as well not be fucking myself already. Until my dick and its position relative to my ass is observed, it is simultaneously in my ass, but also outside of it - thus, it stays in superposition. The moment you lay eyes on my penis, both states collide with each other and become either one. You may have already guessed what the problem here is. As soon as a single photon reflected by my dick enters either one of your eyes, you become gay. The only way to avoid this is to not observe my penis. But if you don't look at it, then you will never know if your insult had any effect, thus rendering it meaningless. Since you have already made the insult, you are now, too, in superposition - you're either wrong, or gay. It's unfortunate, really - you dug a hole for yourself without even knowing it. All you can do now is accept it, and learn from your mistakes.
April 2020

Classic

i'm a gourmet god

twitchquotes: if you can affirm something you've eaten that I haven't then I'll sub. I'll give you 3 chances to make it fair since i'm gourmet god PS: Don't waste a guess on "dick". ;)
twitch chat
July 2019

Did you just really use a copypasta to respond to me?

Wow, WOW. Did you just really use a copypasta to respond to me? Instead of giving a proper response or ending the conversation like a sane person, you just use a copypasta and think you're a smartass? Guess what, i'm the one who is smart and you are the one who is an ass; because you just think copy and pasting something will get you to be in 1st place. Fucking speak to people properly instead of using one of those shitty lines of text.
October 2021

Hi, my name is Artour Babaev

twitchquotes: Hi, my name is Artour Babaev, I was born on south russia, in a small farm of Salt, my entire life was all about salt, I would farm salt with my father rino, in fact, my life was so full of salt, my friends named me "PPD", until some gang of Spooky Scary Skeletons killed him. To this day, I vowed to kill all skeltons to avenge my father, dont cpy pastarino my storyno
twitch chat
November 2014
SingSing
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