[Copypasta] JPOW was casually eating dinner

twitchquotes: JPOW was casually eating dinner with his wife and kids for Mother’s Day.. opened his investing.com app.. saw futures were red.. stopped mid dinner and folded his napkin.. headed to the basement.. fired up his money printers.. all why murming I’ll get these bears.. his wife yelled down and asked if he wanted dessert.. he didn’t even answer (and he loves dessert)
twitch chat
May 2020
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Darth Bearish the Regarded

Did you ever hear the tragedy of "Darth Bearish the Regarded"? I thought not. It’s not a story any bull would tell you. It’s an ancient Bear legend. Darth Bearish was a Dark Lord of the Bears, so well capitalized and so regarded he could use Leverage to influence gamma to create profits… He had such a knowledge of the dark side of Leverage that he could even keep other traders he cared about from being margin called. But the dark side of Leverage is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be... unnatural. He became so bearish… the only thing he was afraid of was losing his positions, which eventually, of course, he did. Unfortunately, he taught his apprentice everything he knew, then his apprentice reversed his positions in his sleep. Ironic. He could save others from bankruptcy, but not himself!
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Don't put grills in your bedroom

twitchquotes: don't put grills in your bedroom, you can die from carbon monoxide poisoning when they are still hot FailFish
twitch chat
November 2014
imaqtpie

This is the police!

twitchquotes: This is the police! Get your dongers in the air f***ers - you have been caught red handed. Stop with the copy paste right now or we will be forced to use Police Brutality. Don't try to get away with it by copying this and impersonating us!
twitch chat
November 2014
imaqtpie

bro i’m more japan than you

twitchquotes: bro are you disrespecting my japanese culture bro i’m more japan than all of you because i watch anime and you don’t, i bet you don’t even know what Naruto is you degenerate. So before you message me acting like you know my culture maybe check yourself first
twitch chat
June 2019

Weebs

Hello Mr. Squirrel it's nice to meet you!

twitchquotes: You're acting similar to a squirrel eating his peanuts! XD Guess who's an adorable squirrel? It's you Reynad!! Wooo. Let's see how many peanuts you can hide in your cheeks! Hello Mr. Squirrel it's nice to meet you!
twitch chat
May 2015
Reynad
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