[Copypasta] JPOW was casually eating dinner

twitchquotes: JPOW was casually eating dinner with his wife and kids for Mother’s Day.. opened his investing.com app.. saw futures were red.. stopped mid dinner and folded his napkin.. headed to the basement.. fired up his money printers.. all why murming I’ll get these bears.. his wife yelled down and asked if he wanted dessert.. he didn’t even answer (and he loves dessert)
twitch chat
May 2020
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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voting booth inspection is not required

twitchquotes: So I was waiting in line to vote when all of a sudden this voting "official" came up to me and said that there was something wrong with my voter registration and asked me to follow him to the back. When we went around back he said that I had to take off my pants and show my cock because penis size is the most accurate way to confirm voter identity. Because I thought he was a voting official I swiftly removed my pants and underwear to show him my member. After he fondled it for a bit he said it was good and I could go back into the line. It was only after I voted I realized that he forgot to check my balls too!!! He was obviously not certified to check such an area and I immediately contacted the security guards about his presence. Please do not fall for any tricks like I did! stay safe and happy voting!
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November 2020

2020 US Election

All MOBAs copied Pong

twitchquotes: DotA, LoL, HoN and HoTS are just a copy of Pong, and Pong is a copy of tennis
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March 2014
Reynad

Don't feel bad, I'm just better that you

twitchquotes: Don't feel bad, I'm just better that you. Every morning I wake up and wash my adderall down with GFUEL™️, I have a python script that uploads my gameplay directly to reddit and I have amassed over 3 million karma. I only have TTV in my name ironically but also I have a stream PogChamp. If my ping were lower I would literally never lose, my 80% headshot percentage (op included) always carries my team. Let's be honest LUL you will probably never be on my level because of my insane natural talent.
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August 2020

VisLaud

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣠⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣤⣀⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣀⡤⢶⣿⣻⣶⣏⡟⣿⣿⣽⣿⣿⣿⢿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⣠⣾⣧⣾⣵⠾⠟⠋⢉⣉⣉⣉⣀⡀⠄⠈⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠛⠻⠿⣷⣤⠄ ⠄⣸⡿⠿⠋⢹⠉⠄⠄⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠋⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡀⠘⠗ ⡄⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠛⠛⠃⠄⢠⣄⣤⣤⣶⡾⠉⣉⠄⠄ ⣥⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣏⣠⣴⡄⠄⠄⣀⣤⣾⣿⣿⣯⡁⠈⠙⡟⠄ ⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣤⠄⠄ ⠸⣷⡆⢀⣤⠄⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣷⠄ ⠄⠘⣿⣿⣿⣧⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⣤⣤⣤⣤⣿⣿⡿⠄ ⠄⠄⠈⠛⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠛⠻⠿⡿⠁⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⡿⠃⠙⢣⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠋⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠁⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠉⠄⠄⠄⠺⢽⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠁⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⡐⠁⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⠛⠛⠛⠛⠋⠉⠉⠄⠄⣀⣀⠈⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
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June 2019

Robinhood halts trading on President's Day

This is bullshit. I’m disgusted and I’m honestly on the verge of having a mental fucking breakdown. Robinhood has once again halted trading. But this time it’s halted on all stocks. This fine Monday morning I wake up to find that all orders aren’t going to be filled till tomorrow morning. My dad’s wife’s girlfriend is a powerful lawyer in Boca Raton and I’m seriously considering retaining her services and filing a class action lawsuit against these citadel dick munchers. This has happened to me too many times. I’m low key spiraling into madness. Donate to me on onlyfans if you want to contribute towards the legal fees. She’s giving me a pretty kickass discount, but she estimates it’s still going to cost $150k. This happens to be the amount I lost on gme, but this is not relevant to the conversation here. It’s time to rise up and take down robinhood once and for all. Also, yeah my stepmom has a girlfriend. It’s 2021 you bigots.
February 2021

WallStreetBets

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