[Copypasta] JPOW was casually eating dinner

twitchquotes: JPOW was casually eating dinner with his wife and kids for Motherโ€™s Day.. opened his investing.com app.. saw futures were red.. stopped mid dinner and folded his napkin.. headed to the basement.. fired up his money printers.. all why murming Iโ€™ll get these bears.. his wife yelled down and asked if he wanted dessert.. he didnโ€™t even answer (and he loves dessert)
twitch chat
May 2020
(โ–€ฬฟฤนฬฏโ”œโ”ฌโ”ดโ”ฌโ”ด Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

My donger is half my age

twitchquotes: โ—• อœ ส– อก อกโ—• ษช แด**แด›แดœส€ส™แด€แด›แด‡ แดกษชแด›สœ ษดษชแด แด‡แด€ แด„ส€แด‡แด€แด ษดแดแดก แดส แด…แดษดษขแด‡ส€ ษชs สœแด€สŸา“ แดส แด€ษขแด‡ อกโ—• อœ ส– อก อกโ—•
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Response to the Vaporeon copypasta (Vaporeons are dangerous)

Hey guys did you know that in terms of water Pokemon inland, Vaporeon would be very capable of hunting grown humans? Their bodies being the size of a medium dog and weight are just enough to pounce on a man and throw him to the ground. Their bulky stats would allow them to shrug off and outlast any attempts by the human to fight them off, and that's not getting even into moves like Hydro Pump and Scald. But that's not all these water dogs have up their sleeves. Their bodies being so similar to water not only lets them hide in bodies of water and become nearly invisible to catch prey off guard, but allows them to enter the body through almost any orifice. Things do not get any better once a Vaporeon is inside of you. If asphyxiation doesn't kill you, the internal bleeding and displacement of internal organs certainly will. In addition, they are able to learn Charm, allowing them to take advantage of certain... desires humans may have and create even more opportunities to go in for the kill. But wait, there's more. Since Vaporeon is an omnivore, its cells would need to be able to digest proteins, such as those in meat. This only opens even more possibilities as to what these creatures are capable of.
March 2022

Pokemon

Keepo

โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–ˆโ–€โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–‘โ–’โ–“โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–“โ–’โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–’โ–“โ–“โ–€โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘ โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–’โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–“โ–’โ–“โ–’โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–‘ โ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–“โ–’โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–„โ–‘ โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–“โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–ˆโ–‘ โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘ โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–€โ–‘ โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–“โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–€โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–“โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘ โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–‘ โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–’โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–„โ–„โ–’โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–’โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–„ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–€ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘
ascii art
November 2014

Yearly dongers supply

twitchquotes: ใƒฝ เผผเบˆู„อœเบˆเผฝ๏พ‰ Did you know: Most dongersโ€”78 percent of the yearly dongers supplyโ€”is made into fedoras. Other industries, mostly electronics, medical, and dental, require about 12 percent. The remaining 10 percent of the yearly dongers supply is used in financial transactions. ใƒฝเผผเบˆู„อœเบˆเผฝ๏พ‰
twitch chat
December 2014
imaqtpie

In japan we we say ไน‡ไน‚ใ„’ๅฐบๅ‚ ใ„’ๅ„ไธจๅŒšๅŒš

twitchquotes: In japan we don't say 'I love you' we say ไน‡ไน‚ใ„’ๅฐบๅ‚ ใ„’ๅ„ไธจๅŒšๅŒš which doesn't mean anything it just spells out 'Extra Thicc' in japanese symbols.
twitch chat
July 2017
More Copypastas
Text-to-Speech Playing