twitchquotes:
NA THIS EU THAT IM JUST WIDIN IN TWITCH CHAT
NA THIS EU THAT IM JUST WIDIN IN TWITCH CHAT
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I sexually Identify as an the sun
twitchquotes:
I sexually Identify as an the sun. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of slamming hydrogen isotopes into each other to make helium & light and send it throught the galaxy. People say to me that a person being a star is Impossible and I’m fucking retarded but I don’t care, I’m beautiful. I’m having a plastic surgeon inflate me with hydrogen and raise my temperature to over 6000 °C. From now on I want you guys to call me “Sol” and respect my right to give you vitamin D and probably sunburns. If you can’t accept me you’re a fusionphobe and need to check your astral privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.
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I sexually Identify as
Unimpressed Squidward
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⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⢤⡒⠉⠁⠀⠒⢂⡀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⣒⠤⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⣠⠾⠅⠈⠀⠙⠀⠀⠀⠈⠀⠀⢀⣀⣓⡀⠉⠀⠬⠕⢄⠀⠀
⠀⣰⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡤⠶⢦⡀⠑⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢧⠀
⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢤⣀⣀⣀⣀⡀⢀⣀⣀⠙⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡄
⠀⢹⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡜⠁⠀⠀⠙⡴⠁⠀⠀⠱⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⠀
⠀⠀⠱⢄⡀⠀⢰⣁⣒⣒⣂⣰⣃⣀⣒⣒⣂⢣⠀⠀⠀⢀⡴⠁⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠲⢼⡀⠀⠙⠀⢠⡇⠀⠛⠀⠀⣌⣀⡤⠖⠉⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡗⢄⣀⡠⠊⠈⢦⣀⣀⠔⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⠔⠊⠉⠁⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⡆⠤⠿⣄⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⣧⠸⠒⣚⡩⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣏⣙⠒⢴⠈⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀
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My husband of 5 years bought me Reddit Gold for my anniversary
My 5-Year anniversary with my husband was last week. The traditional gift for 5 years is silverware. I wanted a new set and told my husband which he could get me as a gift. I knew he wanted an Apple Watch and bought that as my gift to him.
On the day of our anniversary, I logged onto Reddit to find dozens of my posts and comments guilded. I found it odd as I don’t post terribly often and the guilded comments were old. It’s also the first time I’ve received Reddit gold.
When the time came to exchange gifts, he gleefully opened his Apple Watch and begin setting it up. I figured I’m all the excitement he forgot to give me my gift so I gently prodded him. He told me to check Reddit.
Ladies and Gentlemen, my husband GUILDED me 24 times as an anniversary gift. He’s a bit of a jokester, so I figured my real gift was coming.
But Reddit, it’s been a week. Do I say something? Buy the silverware myself? Some combination of the two? I feel if I don’t say something then the cycle will repeat itself.
If you're a grown-ass man and you still wipe your ass, you're not a real man.
This should be self-explanatory but apparently, I have to justify myself.
There's nothing more feminine than using a product on your body. Makeup is 100% feminine and by the same logic, so is wiping your ass. I haven't wiped my ass in about 4 years, and I've NEVER had any issues. My digestive system is in the top 1% in terms of regularity, functionality, and performance, and I've never once felt the need to "clean up" after myself.
If you shit, and you need to wipe, you've got an emasculated GI tract and that's your own issue. Man up and get your shit (literally) together.
Aura relentlessly stabbed the shell out of the turtle
twitchquotes:
As Aura relentlessly stabbed the shell out of the turtle with his long hard white sword, he fondly remembered the time that Doug Bowser pounded him until he became bald. Aura was so entranced that he was distracted from the fact that in 1998, The Undertaker threw Mankind off Hell In A Cell, and plummeted 16 ft through an announcer's table.
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Aurateur