[Copypasta] It's fucking astonishing Resident Evil was a successful franchise

twitchquotes: It's fucking astonishing Resident Evil was a successful franchise. Most of the series is mediocre or terrible. Out of the entire series 1/2/3/4/REmake/RER2 are classics. 5/7/Revelations 2 are really good. Revelations and the Outbreaks are cool. The rest are middling to trash. That includes all 3 Gun Survivor Games, Operation Raccoon City and Umbrella Corps, RE6, Resident Evil Gaiden, Code Veronica, Zero, and both Chronicles games. Plus all the phone garbage and the terrible films. Something having Resident Evil on it is like a 50/50 shot for quality.
twitch chat
February 2020
From this tweet: https://twitter.com/PatStaresAt/status/1221800799526883328
I used to be a real ad
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You toss and turn as Elon gently rubs your shoulders

You toss and turn as Elon gently rubs your shoulders. "You seem a little tense" says Elon, as you look at your bank account. Your phone shows $107 left to your name. You think to yourself while Elon rubs you down, you pull open Robin Hood, type in TSLA. Leaps $900 JAN 2023' are only $1 you can afford 1 leap. This is finally your chance to get rich, you'll be able to actually buy a Tesla. You ask Elon what the next Tesla will be. He says "U, for 'you'" as he smiles sweetly. You picture him dancing on stage explaining U S3XY to everyone multiple times as you smile back at him. All of a sudden Elon flips on the TV to CNBC to catch the tail end of Jim Cramer, you see a new law has been passed, "we believe options have inflated the markets into a bubble, we will be imposing a new rule next week only allowing accounts that qualify for day trades to also purchase options with a $25,000 barrier to entry." You start weeping aloud, you feel a caring hand wipe your tear away, it's Elon again, "what's wrong my little X'√π3?" Suddenly you wake, you're in a pool of sweat, at first you panic about the new options policy, then you're filled with relief realizing that options aren't restricted it was all a dream. You realize this was actually a vision to earn 200,000% gains to buy a TSLA leap. You log into RH, it welcomes you with your $107 balance, you plug in TSLA yolo 2023 @ $900 and realize the options are actually $20 each. The best you can do is $900 TSLA weekly expiring around Christmas. In a slight fit of despair you try to remember the feeling of Elon rubbing your cheek, and rub one out onto your stomach, then roll over back to sleep. A single tear rolls from your eye into your waifu pillow. YOLO you whisper.
December 2020

WallStreetBets

Kripp's lettuce points

twitchquotes: The year is 2035. Kripp's lettuce points have quickly developed into one of the most valuable crypto currencies in the world. Elsewhere, Tanner sits alone in his dark, dingy apartment, watching Kripp's stream, desperately trying to gamble for some lettuce points. He types "!bet 2 all" in chat, and anxiously awaits the results. Upon seeing Kripp go 0-3, Tanner puts a gun to his head and lets out one final "never lucky" before pulling the trigger.
twitch chat
February 2019
Kripp

Hearthstone

Tanner from High School

Amogus

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣤⣤⣤⣀⣀⣀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣼⠟⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠙⠻⢶⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⣷⡀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⡟⠀⣠⣶⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠳⣦⡀⠀⠘⣿⡄⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⠁⠀⢹⣿⣦⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣠⣼⡇⠀⠀⠸⣷⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⡏⠀⠀⠀⠉⠛⠿⠿⠿⠿⠛⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⡄⣠ ⠀⠀⢀⣀⣀⣀⠀⠀⢠⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⡇⠀ ⠿⠿⠟⠛⠛⠉⠀⠀⣸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡇⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣧⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣿⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⡶⠶⠿⠿⠿⠿⢷⣦⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀ ⠀⠀⣀⣀⣀⠀⣸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀ ⣠⡿⠛⠛⠛⠛⠻⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀ ⢻⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣼⡟⠀⠀⢀⣤⣤⣴⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀ ⠈⠙⢷⣶⣦⣤⣤⣤⣴⣶⣾⠿⠛⠁⢀⣶⡟⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡟⠀ ⢷⣶⣤⣀⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣿⣆⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣴⡾⠃⠀ ⠀⠈⠉⠛⠿⣶⣦⣄⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠛⠻⢿⣿⣾⣿⡿⠿⠟⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀
ascii art
February 2021

Among Us / Amogus

That's some good shit right there

twitchquotes: 👌👀👌👀👌👀👌👀👌👀 good shit go౦ԁ sHit👌 thats ✔ some good👌👌shit right👌👌th 👌 ere👌👌👌 right✔there ✔✔if i do ƽaү so my selｆ 💯 i say so 💯 thats what im talking about right there right there (chorus: ʳᶦᵍʰᵗ ᵗʰᵉʳᵉ) mMMMMᎷМ💯 👌👌 👌НO0ОଠＯOOＯOОଠଠOoooᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒ👌 👌👌 👌 💯 👌 👀 👀 👀 👌👌Good shit
twitch chat
September 2015

Emoji Pasta

Classic

Grand Widow Faerlina needs a new succubus

twitchquotes: Ｈｉ Ｋｒｉｐｐ ｉｔ＇ｓ Ｇｒａｎｄ Ｗｉｄｏｗ Ｆａｅｒｌｉｎａ． Ｉ ｎｅｅｄ ａ ｎｅｗ ｓｕｃｃｕｂｕｓ ｔｏ ｌｅａｄ ｍｙ ａｃｏｌｙｔｅｓ ａｎｄ Ｉ ｗａｓ ｗｏｎｄｅｒｉｎｇ ｉｆ Ｒａｎｉａ ｗｏｕｌｄ ｂｅ ｉｎｔｅｒｅｓｔｅｄ？ Ｉ ｈｅａｒｄ ｓｈｅ ｉｓ ａｎ ａｍａｚｉｎｇ ｓｕｃｃｕｂｕｓ． Ｔｈａｎｋｓ ｆｏｒ ａｓｋｉｎｇ！ Ｋｎｅｅｌｅｒｉｎｏ ｂｅｆｏｒｅ ｍｅ ｗｏｒｍｅｒｉｎｏ！
twitch chat
July 2014
Kripp
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