[Copypasta] It's fucking astonishing Resident Evil was a successful franchise

twitchquotes: It's fucking astonishing Resident Evil was a successful franchise. Most of the series is mediocre or terrible. Out of the entire series 1/2/3/4/REmake/RER2 are classics. 5/7/Revelations 2 are really good. Revelations and the Outbreaks are cool. The rest are middling to trash. That includes all 3 Gun Survivor Games, Operation Raccoon City and Umbrella Corps, RE6, Resident Evil Gaiden, Code Veronica, Zero, and both Chronicles games. Plus all the phone garbage and the terrible films. Something having Resident Evil on it is like a 50/50 shot for quality.
twitch chat
February 2020
From this tweet: https://twitter.com/PatStaresAt/status/1221800799526883328
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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There's no reason to have a Dad Bod when push ups exist

There's no reason to have a Dad Bod when push ups exist. I'm always finding time to crank out a few p-ups. Ahh yep, I do maybe a thousand p-ups a day and I'm a father of two. Those nerds coloring with crayons? Time to squeeze in a few p-ups. Little dorks eating mac and cheese? It's p-up time. I'm like a leathered marble statue of a really muscular guy, my muscles are so tight and rugged. Hell, I took a p-up break while typing this comment. The ladies at work, these little work ladies, love when I crank out p-ups right there in front of them and come up off the floor red faced and with a sizeable bulge in my slacks. That bulge is unrelated to the p-ups, by the way, I'm just a guy who's always one hard nipple poking through a shirt away from a full meat platter. Hell, I'd cheat on my wife with one of these little work ladies if she wasn't one of the little work ladies I work with. We bone in the bathroom. I get jacked on p-ups and then we bone in the bathroom and there's nothing my boss can do about it because my vascularity is way too intimidating. I tell him he should do some p-ups if he wants to fuck my wife. It's the only way she gets that slizz juiced and loosed. She wants to see multitudinous p-ups and she wants to see those p-ups now! Whoops! Haha, okay, looks like she's watching me type this over my shoulder. Uh oh. See ya later, nerdbags. I'm gonna p-ups myself up to a full plumper and pump that honey ham rump of my little work lady wife.
April 2021

Hydra smile

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠿⠛⠻⠿⠿⠋⣴⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⠙⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠟⣉⣤⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣷⠒⠄⡟⠍⢻⣿⣿⠍⠛⠄⠙⣿⣿ ⣿⡿⢡⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠛⠛⠢⠄⣷⣶⣾⣿⣿⣶⣾⠄⣤⣿⣿ ⣿⠁⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⣁⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣀⠻⣷⣌⣉⣉⣴⠿⣀⣿⣿⣿ ⡇⢰⣿⣿⣿⡏⢰⡟⣡⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⡀⣭⣭⣭⣥⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣧⠘⣿⣿⣿⣷⠘⠁⡟⠏⢻⣿⡟⠍⢹⡇⠙⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣆⢻⠿⢋⣉⣤⡀⣷⣶⣾⣿⣿⣶⣾⡇⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠄⣠⣿⣿⣿⣇⠻⣧⣝⣛⣛⣭⡿⠃⣩⣭⣭⣭⣭⣭⣍⢻⣿ ⣿⣿⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⣶⣌⢉⣉⣉⣥⠞⢸⡿⠻⣿⣿⡿⠛⢿⠄⠿ ⣿⣿⠇⣸⣿⣿⣿⡄⢹⣿⠆⠙⣉⣡⣀⢸⣧⣠⣾⣿⣷⣤⣼⠄⣀ ⡿⠋⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⢈⣤⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⠸⣿⣟⠻⠿⠟⣻⣿⢸⣿ ⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⢁⣬⡙⠿⠿⠿⣋⣵⣾⣿
ascii art
May 2019

Please stop spaming gachiGASM and gachiBASS

twitchquotes: Chat. My son is watching kripp. Please stop spaming gachiGASM and gachiBASS . It's not good for a kid to see that. He might be curious about tasting a glorious *** in the future. I dont want that.
twitch chat
May 2017
Kripp

Not Rekt, Rekt

twitchquotes: Status: ☐ not rekt ☑ rekt
twitch chat
May 2014
Reynad

One ring to rule them all

twitchquotes: It began with the forging of the great rings. 3 for the ARPG gamers, immortals, for they cannot afford to die. 7 for the Strategy gamers, builders, who command entire armies. 9 for the MMO players, who spent days logged in without breaks, and who above all else desire loot. For within these rings was the strength and power to remain nolife. But they were all deceived. For another ring was made. In the land of Romania, in gypsy flames, the dark lord Kripp forged a secret ring, and into this ring he poured his trips, his want for a female, his family, but above all else, his desire to be casual. One ring to rule them all.
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp
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