twitchquotes:
Where were u when USSR fell?
I was in gulag tourturing prisoner when t-34 tank came
"Stalin is kil"
"Nyet"
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More Copypastas
Kirby with gun
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Bear King Burry vs TSLA
Bear King Michael Burry in the ring, slappin TSLA with a metal chair. His glass eye open wide with rage as he batters TSLA relentlessly.
"The valuation..." crunch "makes...." crunch "NO.... " crunch "SENSE!" he roars with maniacal autistic glee.
TSLA struggles for the edge of the ring, but coughs blood as each hit lands, and eventually stops moving. Bear King Burry drops the chair.
Bear King Burry turns to the crowd
"Was this your champion!? Was TSLA supposed to be your chosen one!?"
A child in the crowd turns his face into his mother's side and cries.
On the side of the ring WSB can barely move. TSLA was supposed to tag them in, but couldn't make it to the side in time.
"Get up TSLA" WSB whimpers hopelessly, a single tear rolling down their cheek. "Get up..."
Bear King Burry turns to WSB
"Now it is your portfolio's turn. Get in here you little bitch."
"Excuse me." Someone replies from behind BKB. "I believe I can give you the fight you want."
A robed figure is administering smelling salts to TSLA. The figure puts TSLA on its shoulder and carries TSLA gently out of the ring.
"And just who the fuck do you think you are?" BKB rumbles ominously.
BKB's fingers squeeze so tightly on the chair that metal bends.
"Who am I?" the robed figure inquires.
The robed figure stands straight and stretches to their full height. They must be at least 7' tall.
The crowd stops crying and watches in stunned silence.
"Who am I?" The figure repeats menacingly.
The figure turns around to face BKB, ripping off his robe. A gleaming light fills the stadium. Before us stands a Golden deity, rippling with muscle. If there is an ounce of body fat it is currently in hiding, only to make way for seemingly endless coiled golden musculature.
The figure looks directly into Bear King Burry's eyes.
"I'm Goldman Sachs, and i'm here to kill you."
WallStreetBets
Trolling My Dad's Office with Among Us (Office Series Part 6, Finale Part 3)
The other day, it was βtake your kid to work dayβ at my dadβs job. It was really epic and poggers because I got to skip school for it. As we were walking in, I couldnβt help but notice that the company logo roughly resembled a crewmate from the popular game, Among Us. I asked my father, βIs this the Among Us but real??β My dad replied βNo, son, this is the Pepsico corporate office.β
As we entered the building, my dad said βSon, I have a lot of work to do today. You can hang out with the other kids or play on your phone, just please stay on this floor.β He then entered the elevator and left. I turned to the other kids (who were all playing on their phones) and said βDoes anyone wanna play some Among Us?β However, no one else wanted to play. I was getting bored, so I decided to explore around a little bit. I walked into the elevator and pressed the button for the top floor.As the elevator door opened, I saw what appeared to be a long hallway. As I was walking down it, I found a door that was labeled βExecutive Meeting Roomβ. The door was unlocked, so I walked in and there were about 15 people in suits and ties around a table. They all looked up at me in confusion. One of them asked me βHey buddy, are you lost?β I noticed that his nametag read βHugh Johnson, CFOβ. βDoes CFO stand for Chungus Fortnite Officer?β, I asked. βNo, it does not. And where is your parent? Go back to the bottom floor young man!β He was yelling at me. So I said βYouβre sus. I should eject you, Hugh Johnson. Do you have aβ¦ HUGE JOHNSON?! Thatβs funny like Big Chungus, which is the Bugs Bunny from Looney Tunes but a big rabbit!β I laughed. Everyone was looking up at me in shock when I said βWanna play some Among Us guys?β
The CEO, a very sexy woman, ooga booga awooga, said βYoung man, go back to the first floor now!β But the sexy woman I just couldnβt listen to as I admired her. βNo, because you have big tits.β Her jaw dropped, and she said, βYoung man, this is an important meeting. Get the fuck out!β She then used the intercom to call security. Coming to the realization that I was running out of time, I pulled down my pants to show everyone my Among Us underwear. I jumped up onto the meeting table and started twerking (to make sure everyone saw my among us underwear I got for Christmas) and said βDo you like what you see?β Everyone was yelling at me to get out as I was twerking. βIβm so hot~~~~β I said. The yelling got louder. I ran out of the door and closed it, hoping that security wouldnβt find me. I quickly ran into the elevator and went down.
Trolling with Among Us
Among Us / Amogus
Buzz Lightyear action figure stuck in my ass
I currently have a Buzz Lightyear action figure stuck in my ass.
I am male if it matters. I've always been into putting things in my ass I don't know why, I'm not gay or anything I just like how it feels. Well I got drunk last night and decided to play with my ass and I hadn't gone shopping so I was out of carrots and cucumbers so I looked around and I saw my Buzz Lightyear action figure and thought "why not?" I've put action figures up there before because they feel different and it's funny. I grabbed Buzz, lubed him up and put him up against my asshole and started sliding him in. "To infinity and beyond!" I moaned as Buzz entered me.
The only problem is that he has those wings that expand and so they popped open nearly splitting me in half and now he's stuck in there and I can't get him out. I know I need to go to the emergency room but honestly I'm scared and ashamed. I've managed to hide it from my wife so far but I think she's getting suspicious and can tell something is wrong. I'm going to try to sneak to the ER later and hopefully get it taken care of without her finding out.
Confessions
Kripp's bike accident
twitchquotes:
Toronto authorities reported that Octavian "kripp" Morosan passed away last night in the Toronto east general Hospital after a bike accident near his home
twitch chat
Kripp