[Copypasta] Penis Inspection Day

twitchquotes: I was talking to some people I know, and apparently I'm the only person who remembers "Penis Inspection Day" in Elementary School. The gym teacher took us into the washroom one at a time while everyone else kept playing, and tugged our foreskin back and inspected our penis to make sure we were developing properly and keeping clean. Surely I can't be the only one who remembers this, other people must have had Penis Inspection Day at their school too.
twitch chat
December 2019
(โ–€ฬฟฤนฬฏโ”œโ”ฌโ”ดโ”ฌโ”ด Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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Rudy Giuliani brings a plate of evidence

Holy shit. Rudy Giuliani came into the presser to bring me a plate of election fraud evidence and I literally screamed at him and hit the plate of evidence out of his hand. He started yelling "HEEEREEE'S KRAKEN!" at me and I cut the live feed on him. Iโ€™m so distressed right now I donโ€™t know what to do. I didnโ€™t mean to do that to Rudy but Iโ€™m literally in shock from the evidence tonight. I feel like Iโ€™m going to explode. Why the fucking fuck is he losing? This canโ€™t be happening. Iโ€™m having a fucking breakdown. I donโ€™t want to believe the world is so corrupt. I want to Build Back Betterโ„ข. I want Biden to be president and fix this broken country. I cannot fucking deal with this right now. It wasnโ€™t supposed to be like this, I thought he was polling well in Michigan???? This is so fucked.
November 2020

2020 US Election

Kripp reluctantly crawls into bed

twitchquotes: Kripp reluctantly crawls into bed where a breathless Hafu is waiting. She takes hold of his hand and whispers, "It's ok, I broke up with Jake." He squeezes her hand, let's go, squeezes again, "You're the best female arena player...," Kripp says dejectedly, "But I made a vow to Rania to never love another woman." Hafu runs her hands lovingly down his cheek, "You're not cheating," she whispers, "I'm really Amaz."
twitch chat
September 2017
Kripp

Hearthstone

Stabbed with Kniferino made out of an OJ Carton

twitchquotes: Oแด„แด›แด€แด ษชแด€ษด Mแดส€แดsแด€ษด, แดแด›สœแด‡ส€แดกษชsแด‡ แด‹ษดแดแดกษด แด€s Kส€ษชแด˜แด˜, สœแด€s แด˜แด€ssแด‡แด… แด€แดกแด€ส แด›สœษชs แด›แดœแด‡sแด…แด€ส's แด€า“แด›แด‡ส€ษดแดแดษด. Hแด‡ แดกแด€s แด€แดส™แดœsสœแด‡แด… ส™ส แด€ ษขส€แดแดœแด˜ แดา“ แด…แดษดษขแด‡ส€s ษชษด แด€ษด แด€สŸสŸแด‡ส, แด€ษดแด… sแด›แด€ส™ส™แด‡แด… แดกษชแด›สœ แด€ แด‹ษดษชา“แด‡ส€ษชษดแด แดแด€แด…แด‡ แดแดœแด› แดา“ แด€ษด OJ แด„แด€ส€แด›แดษด. RIP ษชษด แด˜แด‡แด˜แด˜แด‡ส€แดษดษช แด„แด€แด˜แด˜แดœแด„แด„ษชษดแด แด˜ษชsแด›แด€แด„สœษชแด, สแดแดœ sสœแด€สŸสŸ ส™แด‡ แดษชssแด‡แด….
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

Nerf MEGA Mastodon blaster ad

twitchquotes: NerfRedBlaster Dominate Nerf blaster battles with the first-ever motorized Nerf MEGA blaster! NerfBlueBlaster The Nerf MEGA Mastodon blaster boasts incredible rapid-fire speeds to send MEGA Whistler darts screaming through the air from its integrated 24-dart drum. NerfRedBlaster Bring the MEGA Mastodon blaster into action to overwhelm opponents with its imposing size. NerfBlueBlaster Use the shoulder strap for easy maneuvering to be ready for Nerf battles anytime, anywhere. NerfRedBlaster
twitch chat
February 2017

Yuno Gasai

โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–„ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–„ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–„ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ– โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œ โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–Œโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–‘โ–Œโ–โ–‘โ– โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–Œโ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–„โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–Œโ–Œโ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–’โ–‘โ–โ–€โ–Œโ–€โ–Œโ–„โ–’โ–‘โ–โ–’โ–Œโ–‘โ–Œ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–Œโ–‘โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–€โ–„โ–Œโ–Œโ–โ–โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–โ–โ–โ–’โ–โ–’โ–Œโ–Œโ–‘โ–โ–’โ–Œโ–„โ– โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–Œโ–Œโ–„โ–€โ–„โ–โ–‘โ–Œโ–Œโ–’โ–โ–‘โ–Œโ–„โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–โ–’โ–‘โ–โ–’โ–Œโ–‘โ–€โ–„ โ–€โ–„โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–Œโ–’โ–’โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–Œโ–ˆโ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–ˆโ–โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–โ–’โ–Œโ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€ โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–โ–’โ–€โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–€โ–’โ–Œโ–‘โ– โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–โ–€โ–„โ–’โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–Œโ– โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–’โ–Œโ–โ–’โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–’โ– โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–โ–’โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–’โ– โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–โ–’โ–โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–’โ–‘โ– โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–โ–โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ– โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–Œโ–‘โ–Œโ–โ–‘โ–Œโ–’โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–Œโ–โ–‘โ–Œโ–’โ–‘โ– โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–’โ–โ–‘โ–โ–โ–‘โ–Œโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–€โ–Œโ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–’โ–‘โ–Œ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–’โ–’โ–Œโ–โ–’โ–Œโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–โ–€โ–„โ–Œโ–‘โ–โ–’โ–’
September 2018

Weebs

Text-to-Speech Playing