[Copypasta] Penis Inspection Day

twitchquotes: I was talking to some people I know, and apparently I'm the only person who remembers "Penis Inspection Day" in Elementary School. The gym teacher took us into the washroom one at a time while everyone else kept playing, and tugged our foreskin back and inspected our penis to make sure we were developing properly and keeping clean. Surely I can't be the only one who remembers this, other people must have had Penis Inspection Day at their school too.
twitch chat
December 2019
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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xqcRage

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢲⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⡀⢀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⢀⠊⣤⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠂⠸⣿⠿⠛⠻⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⢡⣤⣤⠀⠀⢀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠛⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠛⠋⠉⠁⠀⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⡿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠉⠛⠒⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⣿⣿⣿⠇⠀⠀⠐⠒⠚⠛⠛⠻⠇⠀⠀ ⣉⣁⣀⣀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⡏⠀⠀⠇⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣤⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣷⣶⡀⠀⢀⣤⢤⣾⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⣴⣶⣾⣿⣿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠀⢤⠀⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠟⠂⠀⠒⠻⠿⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠙⡉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠤⠤⠤⣤⣀⣀⣀⠀⠉⠙⠛⢿⡇⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⢉⣿⢶⣤⣀⣠⣤⣤⣤⣶⣶⣿⣿⣶⣶⠿⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣶⣶⠆⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⢀⠀⠸⠧⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠀⠀⢀⠀⠊⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣈⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠉⠉⠀⠀⠘⠛⠋⣩⣭⣬⣠⣬⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⡀⢠⣦⣤⣄⣀⢀⣠⣤⡀⡴⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
ascii art
December 2020
xQcOW

God I wish Winston was real

twitchquotes: God I wish Winston was real. I want him to sit on my face with his furry ass. I want him to yell "THE POWER OF SCIENCE" as he thrusts into me. I want him to spam "OH YEAH" when we're finished. God if Blizzard made life-sized cutouts of Winston I would buy them all for myself and keep them in my basement for my pleasure. God I wish Winston was real.
twitch chat
March 2018

Overwatch

AITA for saving a child from a dangerous situation?

I know this sounds bad, but hear me out. Earlier this month, I was walking home from the store as usual. I began smelling a feint burning smell and I heard muffled shouting ahead. I picked up the pace to discover the commotion. A building was on fire and a small child was standing by the second story window shrieking for help as flames rose behind him. Luckily, I had been doing parkour ever since I was a teen so I climbed up to his window and reached out to grab the child. He reached out for me as well and I hoisted him down on my back. When we reached the ground the child ran to his parents and they thanked me while hugging him. Later today I was visiting a friend in prison who happens to be serving a sentence for attempted murder of many children. He said I was an asshole and I shouldn’t have saved the kid from the burning building. Ever since, I can’t help but feel like kind of an asshole so I would appreciate to hear a third persons perspective on this. So reddit, AITA?
January 2022

Am I The Asshole?

Holy Champion: how many fingers do you see?

twitchquotes: ╭∩╮( ° ͜ʖ͡°)╭∩╮ How many fingers do you see? ╭∩╮ ( ° ͜ʖ͡°)╭∩╮
twitch chat
October 2015
Kibler

Trolling My Office With Among Us (Part 5, Finale 2)

That's right. I am the IMPOSTER. I just killed my boss. I now had to convince everyone that I wasn't the imposter. "Chad is the imposter!" I randomly yelled out. Another coworker said "Well, I did see him running towards the stairs/elevator. "Wait, think about this!" Chad stated. "How do you know I'm the murderer? It could be him!" "Hmm.." My coworker, John, said. "Why do you think it's him, Darrius?" "Well," I started, "The same reason as you. I saw him running towards the elevator when the killing happened. "Wait, wait, wait!" Angelica proclaimed. "How do we know it happened on the top floor?" Another coworker, Adam, pointed out the window towards the paramedics wrapping up my boss' mangled corpse in a body bag." Oh!" Angelica said." That's a bit sussy," I said. "I think it must have been Angelica, she's pretending she doesn't know anything?" "Hmm, you might be right." My coworker Dave spoke up. "But I think that it might be you, Darrius." "Wait woah woah, why is it me?" I defended myself. He said "I saw you enter the elevator right before the murderer hit!" He said. Shit. he's onto me." Woah, you could be lying! I was in my cubicle doing my office work!" I yelled back." Oh really, what were you doing?" Dave said." I was uh.. scanning for viruses on my computer!" "Hmm.. okay." "I think that we should get rid of Liam." Angelica proclaimed. "Woah woah woah, pretty lady! Why do you think that?" He quickly hopped to his defense. "I haven't been a part of this discussion at all!" "Well, you're pale, and you work on the closest floor to the boss." Angelica replies. "Yeah, that's sus, Liam." I said. "We should get rid of him." "I agree." Chad said." Me too!" Adam said." Me three!" John said. And so we decided to throw him out the window.
March 2021
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