[Copypasta] Penis Inspection Day

twitchquotes: I was talking to some people I know, and apparently I'm the only person who remembers "Penis Inspection Day" in Elementary School. The gym teacher took us into the washroom one at a time while everyone else kept playing, and tugged our foreskin back and inspected our penis to make sure we were developing properly and keeping clean. Surely I can't be the only one who remembers this, other people must have had Penis Inspection Day at their school too.
twitch chat
December 2019
What happened to this ad? :(
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Fairy tale of Reynard and Lea

twitchquotes: Let me tell you the fairy tale of Reynard and Lea. Once there was a magical salt-shaker named Reynard. He lived in a magical kitchen where the princess Lea would make sandwiches. One day Lea shook Reynard too hard and he broke, spilling salt everywhere. BibleThump
twitch chat
November 2014
Reynad

All hail Wildturtle!

twitchquotes: OMG Its The Real Wildturtle! The best player in the whole NA Server! We are so blessed to be graced with this stream. All Hail Wildturtle!!! Please copy and paste this to show the great Wildturtle our love!
twitch chat
November 2014
WildTurtle

Why can't I mill this zoo?

twitchquotes: 乁། ˵ ◕ – ◕ ˵ །ㄏ ＷＨＹ ＣＡＮＴ Ｉ ＭＩＬＬ ＴＨＩＳ ＺＯＯ？ 乁། ˵ ◕ – ◕ ˵ །ㄏ
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

Today I attempted to insert a whole cantaloupe melon

twitchquotes: Today I attempted to insert a whole cantaloupe melon into my anus because the local shops had run out of apricots (I buy a lot). Using about a gallon of butter, breathing techniques and a few hours I managed to finally get it inside. However it was too uncomfortable so I tried to shit it back out.This is where things got confusing because rather than a melon sliding out half a dozen apricots did. Now there is a chance that I just blacked out upon excreting the cantaloupe and it rolled away somewhere and that I happened to have a dozen or so left over apricots lying around my rectum from earlier but I cannot for the life of me find the melon anywhere.I think I may have the power to anally turn melons into apricots. Further experimentation will be required of course (once my rectum has recovered) but if this turns out to be true then I may be able to solve world hunger.
twitch chat
April 2019

Kripp and G2A

twitchquotes: "I won't do it." says Kripp."You guys are rotten scammers selling stolen keys." The G2A dealer stands in the corner, face obscured by the shadows. "Are you sure?" he says with a toothy grin. Kripp nods. The G2A dealer steps out of the shadow, and Kripp is shocked to see it is none other than Scamaz. "I give the order, and Rania and Pupparian die. I've already taken Cattarian as punishment. Now sign the deal." Kripp sobs as he signs, and hopes his viewers will one day understand his plight.
twitch chat
July 2016
Kripp
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