[Copypasta] This guy's pasta is CRAZY!

twitchquotes: ☑ This guy's pasta is CRAZY!” ☑ “My rigatoni can't win against a linguini like that” ☑ "He NEEDED that alfredo to win" ☑ “He meatballed the only marinara that could beat me” ☑ "He had the perfect fettucini ☑ “There was nothing I could cook” ☑ “I cooked that al dente”
twitch chat
August 2014
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

I love the McChicken

For me, it's the McChicken. The best fast food sandwich. I even ask for extra McChicken sauce packets and the staff is so friendly and more than willing to oblige. One time I asked for McChicken sauce packets and they gave me three. I said, "Wow, three for free!" and the nice friendly McDonald's worker laughed and said, "I'm going to call you 3-for-free!". Now the staff greets me with "hey it's 3-for-free!" and ALWAYS give me three packets. It's such a fun and cool atmosphere at my local McDonald's restaurant, I go there at least 3 times a week for lunch and a large iced coffee with milk instead of cream, 1-2 times for breakfast on the weekend, and maybe once for dinner when I'm in a rush but want a great meal that is affordable, fast, and can match my daily nutritional needs. I even dip my fries in McChicken sauce, it's delicious! What a great restaurant.
April 2022

Smash bros in the year 20XX

twitchquotes: The year is 20XX. Every official stream online has zero views because grassroots organizations have usurped all Esports streams. Nintendo is destitute and broke, their only source of income is through taxing sold copies of Melee, CRTs, and gamecubes. Society has evolved to the point that with a cybernetic implant, you can connect directly to netplay and shine on your opponent while broadcasting free of a DMCA complaint and a C&D letter from Nintendo. Doug Bowser is the last living human without an implant, and is found cold and naked, wondering why everyone is constantly talking about wavedashes.
twitch chat
December 2020

Super Smash Bros

haHAA emote

⡿⢋⡿⠛⣡⣿⣿⡟⢉⣽⣟⢡⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠰⠏⠽⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣶⠛⣀⣈⠩⠭⠤⠤⠴⢶⣶⣤⡐⢶⣶⣶⣶⣶⠆⣠⣶⠖⠒⠒⠒⠲⠦⣤⣤ ⣤⣾⡟⣋⣠⡄⡀⣀⢀⡢⢌⣙⣿⡄⢻⣿⣿⠏⡸⠟⣩⢠⡀⠤⢠⡄⣲⣶⣿ ⣿⡿⢷⣌⡛⠧⠤⠄⠘⣛⣂⣼⣿⡇⢠⣶⡆⠄⣿⡶⣦⣤⣤⣤⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠦⠬⠉⠉⠙⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠄⢹⣿⣿⡄⠸⣷⣦⣬⣭⣭⣤⣶⣶⣾⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣶⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⠏⠄⠃⢸⣿⣿⣷⡄⠘⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣤⣉⡛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⣋⠠⠂⣰⠁⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣄⠄⠙⠻⠿⠿⠿⠟⠛⣉ ⣿⣿⠛⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⢋⣤⡆⢸⣿⡀⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⣶⣦⣄⡐⠲⣿⡋⣿ ⣿⣿⡄⣿⣿⣿⠋⣴⣿⣿⣷⣤⣉⡑⠈⢻⣿⣿⠟⢉⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⠘⣷⣿ ⣿⣿⠄⣿⣿⠇⣼⢿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠿⠷⢤⣤⣤⠾⠿⠛⢛⣉⠉⡉⢻⡇⢸⣿ ⣿⣿⡆⢻⣿⠐⠄⡂⢀⣀⢐⡒⢒⠒⢒⠒⡒⠒⡒⢚⡉⣁⠰⠠⢀⣾⠇⣼⣿ ⣇⢻⣷⡈⢿⡇⢰⣌⡐⠨⢐⠛⠸⠇⠿⠇⠿⠸⠿⠘⣃⣩⡴⢁⣾⣿⣄⡟⢠ ⣿⡄⣿⣿⡄⢻⣿⡟⢿⣷⣦⣌⡙⠻⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠟⠛⣋⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⠃⡼ ⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿⠈⣿⣿⣦⣌⢻⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣶⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣁⠊⣴
April 2021

Please help, when I sneeze, it sounds like I'm saying the n-word

I'm not sure what to do. For my early life, it wasn't a huge deal. I lived in a mostly white family who didn't really care, and I stayed home from school when I was sick. But now that I'm in college, I'm terrified of what it could mean. Doctors won't help me. Every time I've asked, they think I'm making it up and doing it on purpose, and now that I've moved, my doctor is this 6ft tall african-american man. I haven't been to a check-up in over a year. It's causing trouble with school too. The first instance was in chemistry. The professor told me to pass out some bunsen burners from the cabinet to the rest of the students. I got up and opened the cabinet, but it was super dusty inside, and before I could help myself, a huge sneeze forced itself out of my body. "N*GGA!" sounded across the classroom, and I just froze. My cheeks heated up as everyone just stared at me. I quickly said that I needed to go get a tissue and ran from the classroom. I was forced to have a meeting with my professor later, where she was adamant that she wouldn't have that kind of language in her classroom. I tried to explain that it was an accident and I didn't even have a reason to say the n-word while sneezing and gathering bunsen burners, but she was already mad so I think she zeroed in on my word choice and thought that I was inferring that other times I DID have a reason to say it. I didn't get kicked out but nobody wanted to partner with me for the rest of the semester, and I feel like the professor was a bit harsher on test questions. The most recent event happened only yesterday, and I'm terrified of what it could mean. I was in line at the Chick-fil-A in the cafeteria, feeling like shit. I'd been sick for a day or two, and normally I don't go out because of my unique problem, but I was starving and just needed to grab a quick bite. Right as I got up to the counter, I felt a sneeze coming on, and knew I was screwed. Here's the thing. When I'm sick, the issue is 10x worse. The phlegm or something in my throat makes the n-word sound come out with a lower, R-sound at the end instead of the gasp that normally makes the A. So I'm standing there, about to order my 8pc nugget, when I spasm and unleash a full forced "N****R!" across the entire cafeteria. Everybody heard it. Literally everybody. The girl at the counter, who unfortunately was black, just looked so hurt and angry at the same time, not to mention I think I may have sneezed a little on her. I turned and bolted from the cafeteria. I ran straight back to my dorm; I saw a group of guys trying to follow me, but they couldn't get in to my specific dorm building. I recognized a few of them from my chemistry class. I've been in my dorm ever since. I'm terrified of leaving. I'm positive that if they see me again, they'll kick the shit out of me. So that's my problem. I'm not sure how to prove my innocence and I don't think I'll survive another semester at this rate.
January 2021

Gachi pose

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣀⣤⣴⣶⣾⣆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠠⣤⣤⣤⠄⢤⣴⣶⣿⣿⣿⢟⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣠⣤⡾⢏⢠⣶⣶⣾⡑⡀⢸⠋⠁⠄⢠⣾⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⢀⣠⣶⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⠁⠰⣋⢫⢲⡇⠛⠄⠄⢀⣠⣤⣉⠻⠿⠿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⢰⣿⣿⣟⣋⣉⣁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠻⣆⣂⡕⠼⠂⠉⣿⣿⡇⢏⠉⠉⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⢸⢋⡁⢊⠒⣲⡶⠊⢁⣴⣿⣿⣿⣦⣦⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠙⠻⣿⡟⠄⡆⢸⣧⣾⣶⣤⣤⣾⡿⣿⣿⠿⡻⣻⣿⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⠠⣾⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⣥⣾⣿⠿⣛⠅⢰⣗⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠸⣶⣶⣿⣟⣛⣛⣛⠲⠿⣵⣿⣟⢅⠂⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢹⡟⠋⣠⣤⣤⣤⣍⡑⠂⠬⢉⣾⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⠁⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠷⢶⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⠄⢉⣁⣀⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⠈⠙⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡍⠟⢁⣠⣤⣶⣶⣤⣄⡀⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣾⣿⣿⣷⣦⣀⠉⠿⣿⡇⠄⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⡀⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡄⠹⠇⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠄⠄⠈⠙⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇
November 2018
Forsen

Classic

KappaPride

Text-to-Speech Playing