[Copypasta] This guy's pasta is CRAZY!

twitchquotes: ☑ This guy's pasta is CRAZY!” ☑ “My rigatoni can't win against a linguini like that” ☑ "He NEEDED that alfredo to win" ☑ “He meatballed the only marinara that could beat me” ☑ "He had the perfect fettucini ☑ “There was nothing I could cook” ☑ “I cooked that al dente”
twitch chat
August 2014
I used to be a real ad
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Kripp uploads a video that breaks Pornhub's terms of use

twitch chat
August 2014
Kripp

UwU what's this? Nuzzles how are you

twitchquotes: Rawr🐲🐊 x3😋 nuzzles how are you😉🙂 pounces on you😛 you’re😃 so😄 warm🤒😈 o3o😏 notices😯 you have a bulge🍆 o:😯😮 someone’s happy😃 ;)😉😜 nuzzles your necky wecky😈😗~ murr~ hehehe😊 rubbies👋🤚 your bulgy🍆 wolgy you’re😌 so big😯😮 :oooo rubbies👋🤚 more on your bulgy🍆 wolgy it🚫 doesn’t stop🛑 growing ·///· 😐kisses😚😘 you🙂 and lickies😝👅💦💦
twitch chat
April 2019

Emoji Pasta

Weebs

I sexually Identify as an LGM-30 Minuteman III

twitchquotes: I sexually Identify as an LGM-30 Minuteman III intercontinental ballistic missile. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of delivering a W78 nuclear warhead with an explosive yield of 3x500 kilotons of TNT anywhere on the planet at Mach 23. People say to me that a person being a Minuteman III is impossible and I’m incredibly destructive but I don’t care. I’m having Air Force Global Strike Command install new three-stage solid-fuel rocket engines and give me an $86 billion upgrade on my 59 foot body. From now on I want you guys to call me "ICBM" and respect my right to be in service until at least the 2030s. If you can’t accept me you’re missileophobe and need to check your local AFB for missile silos. Thank you, and I'll see you in WW3.
twitch chat
May 2017

I sexually Identify as

My name is Gabe Newell from the Microsoft team

twitchquotes: Good Evening, my name is Gabe Newell from the Microsoft team, and from analyzing your browser history we are here to inform you that your Windows XP Operating system is not valid. Your OS will be locked in 15 minutes until you have paid for the Microsoft product. If you have any questions or concerns please don't hesitate to call us!
twitch chat
December 2014
Forsen

Horny during Space Jam 2

OK so I was watching space jam 2 and I got RANDOMLY horny. I didn’t wanna exit the movie so I just waited till the Lola scene came up. It came. I started JACKING the SHIT out my pecker. And then.. I ACCIDENTLY NUTTED TO LEBRON😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
July 2021
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