[Copypasta] This guy's pasta is CRAZY!

twitchquotes: ☑ This guy's pasta is CRAZY!” ☑ “My rigatoni can't win against a linguini like that” ☑ "He NEEDED that alfredo to win" ☑ “He meatballed the only marinara that could beat me” ☑ "He had the perfect fettucini ☑ “There was nothing I could cook” ☑ “I cooked that al dente”
twitch chat
August 2014
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More Copypastas

My daughter was born with a hearing impairment

twitchquotes: My daughter was born with a hearing impairment than ultimately left her deaf shortly after birth. I have been working for years to pay for a new surgery that would allow her to hear again. Today was her 8th birthday and I managed to get her what she's always wanted for her birthday, the sense of hearing. I decided to let her listen in on what Daddy has been watching late at night and I turn on your stream and what do I hear? Silence. Now she's crying thinking she's deaf again, Nice job Kripp.
twitch chat
June 2017
Kripp

Classic

"lmao" should be banned. "lol" is better.

An Unpopular Opinion: "lmao" is used too much on the internet. First, I'd like to start with an analysis, if you will. L - Laughing - describing a sense of funniness M My - referring to the self as the consumer of the humour A Arse - referring to a part of the human anatomy to form a slightly offensive reference reinforcing the laugh reaction O Off - ^^^ "lmao" is commonly used on the internet and especially forums or chat services to express enjoyment of a joke. In some ways, it is parallel of "lol", meaning "laughing out loud". This is one of the most seen acronyms used across the internet. "lmao" is spelled with an L at the front, which in lowercase appears like a capital I. Therefore, newcomers to the internet may try to pronounce it as "eye-may-oh", where in fact the general consensus is "ell-em-ay-oh" (to pronounce as an acronym) or "yl-may-oh" (to pronounce phonetically). The fundamental concept that the pronouncing is not clear cut obviously shows that "lol" is the superior (and far more commonly used historically, as "lol" has been searched for consistently since 2004 while "lmao" only became mainstream around 2015, at a significantly lesser volume to "lol") acronym. "lol" is simple, clear-cut and phonetically easy to pronounce. In fact, if I was to write the pronunciation into text, it would be the same thing as the acronym essentially. Second, the use of "arse". This may not offend a lot of people, but the inclusion of a word that may be rude or inappropriate to say for children in an acronym that may be used in places in the internet where children are. In "lol", no potentially rude words are included and the term is harmless. According to Ofcom, the British broadcasting regulator, "arse" is just as rude as "bloody" or "goddamn" and is considered mild. In conclusion, "lmao"'s use as a drop-in for "lol" is unacceptable. It should be only used to reflect and react to extremely funny jokes or messages, and should not replace "lol". "lol" is clearly easier to pronounce, more acceptable to children, and and is generally an easier to look at acronym.
July 2021

I smoke the weed everyday

twitchquotes: I smoke the weed everyday, I too am a Marijuana consumer. 420 is my favourite number. By the way, did I mention that I hit that kush good. I'm so high right now, becuase of all the weed I smoke. 420 Blaze it fam, life is good.
twitch chat
August 2019

Handsome Squidward

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣀⣠⣤⣤⣄⣀⣀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠤⠖⠊⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠙⠲⢤⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡤⠊⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡜⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢢⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢳⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠱⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⠈⠀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠈⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡰⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⡆⡜⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⢧⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣤⡂⠀⠇⠱⠀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢄⡀⢠⣟⢭⣥⣤⠽⡆⠀⡶⣊⣉⣲⣤⢀⡞⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⠀⠐⠂⠘⠄⣈⣙⡡⡴⠀⠀⠙⣄⠙⣛⠜⠘⣆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢦⡀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠄⠊⠀⠀⠀⠀⡸⠛⠀⠀⠀⢸⠆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠓⠦⢄⣘⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡠⠀⠀⠀⠀⣇⡀⠀⠀⣠⠎⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⠁⠈⡟⠒⠲⣄⠀⠀⡰⠇⠖⢄⠀⠀⡹⡇⢀⠎⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡇⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠹⠀⡞⠀⠀⢀⠤⣍⠭⡀⢱⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣀⣠⠞⠀⠀⢠⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⠀⢴⠥⠤⠦⠦⡼⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣀⣤⣴⣶⣿⣿⡟⠁⠀⠋⠀⠀⠀⢸⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠑⣠⢤⠐⠁⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠬⠥⣄⠀⠀⠈⠲⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠦⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢳⠀⠀⢀⣿⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙⠒⠦⠤⢤⣄⣀⣠⠤⢿⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡼⠁⠀⠀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣦⣤⣤⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣤⣤⣤⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀
February 2021

Classic

This is Catarrian's mother

twitchquotes: Hello Octavian, this is the Catarrian's mother. I am writing to in human words because the Catarrian feels he has been mistreated. He tells me "meow" which means that he feels you are not giving him enough stream time. And he also said "Nyaa," which means you better pet the Catarrian
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing