[Copypasta] Gay chicken

twitchquotes: In high school, I was dared to play "gay chicken", which is where two straight guys pretend to be gay, and the first one to chicken out loses. The other guy and I are both really stubborn, and neither one of us wanted to lose. We've been married 14 years and we run a bed and breakfast in Vermont with out adopted daughter. If that dude doesn't chicken out soon, I'm going to start to suspect that he's actually gay
twitch chat
September 2019

Classic

KappaPride

I used to be a real ad
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How do I get my husband to stop going ā€˜Goblin Modeā€™ during sex?

How do I get my husband to stop going ā€˜Goblin Modeā€™ during sex? TLDR; My husband says ā€˜Goblin Mode activatedā€™ when we start to have sex, growls and acts like a caveman, and then says ā€˜Goblin Mode offā€™ when we stop, and then pretends not to remember afterward. I really love my husband and heā€™s always been great in bed. But recently heā€™s been acting really weird. So, a couple of days ago, my son went on a rampage through our house and said he was in ā€˜Goblin Modeā€™. We didnā€™t really know what to do with him, so we sent him to live with my parents so he can go to a special needs school. My husband a really great relationship with our son and loved him more than anything. Naturally, he was upset when he had to leave. Heā€™s an incredibly tough man, but this was the first time Iā€™ve ever seen him cry. I think since then, heā€™s been a little emotionally unwell. Iā€™ve heard him muttering, ā€˜Goblinā€™ repeatedly when he didnā€™t notice me, staring blankly into his food, and just going alone by himself to do who knows what. I feel awful for him, but we both agreed that this was for the best. Last night, the day after our son went away, we decided to have sex to relieve our stress. However, my husband said ā€˜Goblin Mode activatedā€™, starting growling, and went wild having sex with me. Admittedly, it was some of the best and most experimental sex Iā€™ve ever had, but Iā€™m worried that something might be going on with my husband. Any advice? Edit: The problem isnā€™t the ā€˜Goblin Modeā€™, itā€™s that he could be ill
July 2022

Confessions

Classic

Copy whatever that brain dead moron types

twitchquotes: I swear all this chat ever does is pick the one idiot with the lowest IQ and copy whatever that brain dead moron types.
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November 2017

Classic

I hate Twitch Chat

Oh my gourd, I am financially ruined (agricultural futures)

I have lost everything, and I'm not sure how to continue. This summer I invested $17,500 (six months salary and my entire life savings) into ornamental gourd futures, hoping to capitalize on this lucrative emerging industry. After watching a video about Vincent Kosuga and his monopoly on onions, I decided I'd try to do something similar with another vegetable. I did some research and found out many agricultural forecasters expected this year's gourd yield would be far smaller than the past, due to deteriorating soil conditions in central Mexico and a warmer-than-average spring. At first, demand soared around Halloween and prices skyrocketed, but the gourd bubble burst on November 12th. Unfortunately, the coronavirus caused a massive drop-off in demand due to fewer families decorating their tables for thanksgiving, and prices plummeted. I had invested early enough that I thought I would still be fine, but then on the morning of December 2nd, a new email in my inbox caused my stomach to turn into a pretzel. The massive gourd shipment from Argentina, scheduled for early March, had arrived. I was planning on selling off my futures right before this, in February, but this ruined everything. To top it off, the gourds in this shipment were absolutely gargantuan, some topping 4 pounds each, causing the price-per-pound to drop like an anchor into the range of 6 cents per pound. I am ruined.
January 2021

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WallStreetBets

Tired of Weebs? No problem!

twitchquotes: Tired of Weebs? No problem! Here at Weeb Deflectorsā„¢ we can shield your Twitch chat Queue from incoming Weebs with our new patent-pending WeebShieldā„¢ Technology! Our shield will bounce incoming Weebs right back to the dark place they came from (definitely not HEARTHSTONE), causing them to effectively Spread their disease called anime to themselves! Buy 24/7 protection now for only $24.99/month!
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August 2017

Weebs

Classic

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