[Copypasta] My average IQ after taking IQ tests...

twitchquotes: My average IQ after taking IQ tests from accredited psychologist is 134.5 ←Only 2% of the human population score that high. I'm very close to genius level IQ. You calling me stupid is like some one calling Albert Einstein stupid. Which makes one of us look stupid. Hint: Not me.
twitch chat
August 2019
What happened to this ad? :(
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Floating in a pool of casualness

twitchquotes: Fᴏʀᴇᴠᴇʀ ᴡɪʟʟ Kʀɪᴘᴘ ʀᴏᴀᴍ ᴛʜᴇ ᴍɪᴅᴅʟᴇ ʀᴀɴᴋs.. Fʟᴏᴀᴛɪɴɢ ɪɴ ᴀ ᴘᴏᴏʟ ᴏғ ᴄᴀsᴜᴀʟɴᴇss.. Fᴀᴄɪɴɢ ᴇɴᴅʟᴇss sᴛʀᴇᴀᴍs ᴏғ ɴᴏᴏʙs.. Wʜᴏ ɴᴇᴇᴅᴇᴅ ᴇxᴀᴄᴛʟʏ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴄᴀʀᴅ ᴛᴏ ᴡɪɴ.
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp

AITA for not going to my friend’s funeral home if he isn’t coming to mine?

So me (69m) and my friend (69m) were at waffle house (7300 Innerplan Dr, North Little Rock, Arkansas 72113-7645, US) and were discussing funerals (6-9k). I mentioned that since I will be attending his funeral (approx. 2032) that it would be impudent for him not to turn up to mine (approx. 2036). Long story short, this lead for him to swing a naughty haymaker (right) directly aiming for my jaw when I rapidly dodged and gave the cheeky cunt a swift uppercut (broken nose). He is now hospitalized (critical condition) and I am now currently evading law enforcement (on foot). My family (69f wife, 54m son, 69f wife) have been trying to contact me but I keep telling them if I ever see that punk again, I will give him a little combo (right hook, left hook, headbutt then roundhouse kick). If he is still moving I will stomp on his head until he is a little red smear on the bottom of my boot (black timberlands). I know I’m right but I feel as if I may have overreacted a tiny bit (not too much) AITA?
November 2019

Am I The Asshole?

I want to play control warrior but I'm missing...

twitchquotes: Hey Forsen, I want to play control warrior but I'm missing: Grommash, Alexstrasza, Harrison, Sylvanas, Baron Geddon, Shield Slam, Brawl, Naxx, and the Hearthstone game. Can you suggest replacements?
twitch chat
January 2015
Forsen

Hearthstone

If only QT was here

twitchquotes: DIG is 0-2 down to TIP, in champ select for their next game -"If only QT was here" says Kiwi -Smoke appears and out steps Imaqtpie -He knocks out CoreJJ and instalocks Quinn, screaming 'SQUAAK!' - QT feeds his ass off and DIG lose 0-3
twitch chat
August 2015
imaqtpie

League of Legends

Saving up salt for a trip to Greece to touch the Kripp

twitchquotes: I want to touch the kripp, I tell myself. I save up my salt for years to get a trip to greece. I ring the dong bell and out the comes the border kripp face, I smell the aroma of salt and prosterinos. In his hand is a ornate salt shaker and one of reynads 15 guitars. He shoots me in the face with a fireball saying "Assume they have fireball, cause they do have fireball" from that day foward Ive never washed my face again.
twitch chat
September 2014
Kripp
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