[Copypasta] His name is NINJA, a super small time streamer

twitchquotes: can I promote my friends Mixer stream in here? His name is NINJA and he is a super small time streamer, he just left twitch and could really use all the help he can get. I just want to like his stream a couple times bro, nothing serious bro I just don't want him to go hungry bro. He's going back to his roots and I really want to help him out bro
twitch chat
August 2019
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Natalie Portman is the reason I work out

Natalie Portman is the reason I work out. I have this fantasy where we start talking at the Vanity Fair Oscars party bar. We exchange a few pleasantries. She asks what I do. I say I loved her in New Girl. She laughs. I get my drink. "Well, see ya," I say and walk away. I've got her attention now. How many guys voluntarily leave a conversation with Natalie Portman? She touches her neck as she watches me leave. Later, as the night's dragged on and the coterie of gorgeous narcissists grows increasingly loose, she finds me on the balcony, my bowtie undone, smoking a cigarette. "Got a spare?" she asks. "What's in it for me?" I say as I hand her one of my little white ladies. She smiles. "Conversation with me, duh." I laugh. "What's so funny?" she protests. "Nothing, nothing... It's just... don't you grow tired of the egos?" "You get used to it," she says, lighting her cigarette and handing me back the lighter. "What would you do if you weren't an actress?" I ask. "Teaching, I think." "And if I was your student, what would I be learning?" "Discipline," she says quickly, looking up into my eyes, before changing the subject. "Where are you from?" "Bermuda," I say. "Oh wow. That's lovely." "It's ok," I admit. "Not everything is to my liking." "What could possibly be not to your liking in Bermuda?" she inquires. "I don't like sand," I tell her. "It's coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere."
January 2021

Classic

Why is Jake even a meme?

twitchquotes: Why is Jake even a meme? Are really so inconsiderate and stupid so as to think that its funny? You just post it like its some kind of joke, when in reality, Jake is a serious player at the top of his game, and deserves your respect. For this reason, I refuse to spam J LUL KE
twitch chat
March 2018

Solo is one of my favorite Star Wars movies

twitchquotes: Action-packed, fast-paced while exploring deeper themes of oppression, power, and values... what's not to love?! Solo is personally one of my favorite Star Wars movies. Plenty of throwbacks to the old films while offering some foreshadowing. [$0.25 deposited in your PayPal™. Remember to delete this part before posting]
twitch chat
September 2018

sellout

PepeHands

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠿⠛⠉⠁⠀⠙⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡿⠁⠀⢠⠤⠖⠒⠒⠲⢬⣇⣀⠤⠠⢄⣀⡹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡯⠁⠀⠀⠀⣠⣴⡶⠖⠲⠾⣢⡠⣴⡲⠶⠶⣶⣝⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⡿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⢞⣛⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⡿⢶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣾⠿⠷⢶⡶⠶⠶⠟⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡇⠀⢠⠴⠞⠋⠀⠐⠲⠼⣷⠖⠲⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⠾⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⢦⡀⢻⣿⣿⡿⢃⢰⡍⠝⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⣵⣖⣓⡲⠦⣤⣤⣄⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣨⡥⢆⣏⢨⠻⡘⣆⣷⡸⣸ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⢄⡈⠉⠉⠉⠙⠒⢂⡄⡀⠀⡄⠶⠶⠶⣂⡿⢻⢸⣷⣾⣿⢟⣵⣿ ⣤⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⢦⡀⢸⣤⣇⢠⡇⢰⠐⣿⡟⢰⣿⣿⠟⣫⣾⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣤⣤⣄⣀⣀⣀⣙⠻⢿⢿⣿⠖⢫⣾⣿⣷⢸⣿⣿⡇⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿⣿⡆⣿⣦⡙⢿⣿⣏⣿⣿⣷⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣎⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⣿⣿⣿⢁⣿⣿⣿⣦⡙⣿⢻⣿⣿⡇⢿⣿⣿⣿ ⡝⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣜⢿⣿⣿⡿⢰⣿⣿⣿⢘⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢀⣿⣿⣿⡇⣾⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⡌⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⡙⢿⢣⣿⣿⣿⡏⣼⣧⣌⠻⢿⢣⣿⣿⣿⣿⢇⣿⣿⣿⣿
ascii art
September 2020

Pepe

Today I finally came out as dreamgender to my family and friends, this is how it went.

I woke up in the morning at 7am and immediately went to wake up my parents. I explained to them how I'm dreamgender and dreamsexual but they didnt even know who dream is, boomers. I had to explain to them its a sexy minecraft youtuber and how Im connected to him emotionally and sexually. They didnt get mad at all (yay!) they just stared at me with a blank expression. I think theyre proud of me but just dont know what to think of it yet since it came as such as shock to them. I tried to show them a video of dream but they werent really interested and told me to go to school. in school the first class was english so I told the teacher that I had an important announcement that I would like to tell to the entire class. Yesterday I prepared a short powerpoint presentation on dreamgenders and dreamsexuals to make them better understand. I explained how dream is really hot and how I feel a deep connection to dream and how he is my soulmate and my identity. The teacher was so amazed I guess she didnt know what to say haha she looked like she was smiling. When I finished explaining why dream is hot and awesome, I started clapping expecting everyone else to do the same, but they didnt. My best friend didnt clap either which was really weird but maybe he was also surprised since I hadnt told him either. my teacher ended up being the only one clapping, so Im really thankful to her. I thought they didnt get it so I tried to explain in simpler terms that I love dream and how I am dream. Some girls were giggling the entire time so I called them out on it saying they shouldnt be laughing when I have prepared for this moment for so long. Then they started saying really dreamphobic things like saying its stupid and makes no sense. I explained to them why its homophobic and close minded but they didnt listen. Then some guy called me a stupid fucking nerd which made my blood boil. I challenged him to a duel in minecraft which he didnt even respond to and his friends were just laughing. Everyone else was silent I thought that they secretly supported me but just didnt want to face the same oppression dreamgenders and dreamsexuals have to face every day. Then the teacher told me to get back to my seat and started the lesson like nothing happened. I told her I wanted to show the class a compilation of minecraft manhunt best moments but she didnt let me do it. After the class a bunch of my classmates came to me and asked if I was joking or what and I tried to explain it to them but they were just making fun of me and saying Im weird and a creep. it was awful. I was bullied a bit before but now nobody wanted to talk to me the entire day even when I tried to show my ''friends'' (not friends anymore, theyre nazis apparently) some dream videos and discussed minecraft speedrunning they didnt respond at all. I've been crying the entire day because I cant believe the people I thought were cool were dreamphobes/racists/nazis as well. 😭😭😭😭😭 its honestly really crushing how people are still like this in 2021. now Im starting to realize I dont need those kinds of toxic people in my life and the only person I truly need is Dream. Dream is my boyfriend, my gender, my sexuality, my identity and my best friend all at once, why would I need anyone else?
June 2021

Dreamgender

More Copypastas
Text-to-Speech Playing