twitchquotes:
if you can affirm something you've eaten that I haven't then I'll sub. I'll give you 3 chances to make it fair since i'm gourmet god PS: Don't waste a guess on "dick". 
twitch chat
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas
Watching Thijs in the bathroom
twitchquotes:
Ahhh, my favorite part of the day. After lunch, a take a break from work, lock myself in the office bathroom pretending to take a dump while I watch my favorite streamer, Thijs. Just hope my boss doesn't come knocking, otherwise I'm fired...
twitch chat
Thijs
Cinco de Mayo Emoji Pasta v2
It's Cinco de mayo... ๐๐ฎ๐ but all I want ๐๐ป is cinco DICKS ๐ฏ in my May-OUTH ๐ฉ๐
๐ฆ Today the SEXicans ๐๐ฒ๐ฝ beat the French ๐๐ซ๐ท at the Battle of Puebla ๐ซโ and now you're gonna get your piรฑata beat ๐๐ฉ with a huge stick ๐ณ๐ but โ๏ธONLYโ๏ธ if you send ๐ฒ this to 5๏ธโฃ amigos ๐ฌ you'd cross borders โก๏ธ for ๐๐ป๐ฏ Get 5๏ธโฃ back ๐ and you'll find the Juan for you tonight โค๏ธโบ๏ธ๐
Cinco de Mayo
Emoji Pasta
Holiday Emoji
Holiday
Dear Kripp, I am a salt manufacturer from Chile
twitchquotes:
Dear Kripp, I am a salt manufacturer from Chile and I would like to sponsor you and your channel. If this deal goes through you can make a lot of salt from our overflowing salt mines. From what I hear, salt is a hot commodity nowadays. Forever yours, Felipe Gomez
twitch chat
Kripp
Leave the competition to the the competitors
twitchquotes:
WHY in the FUCK do you PLEBS roll in here and think you can backseat game the GREAT [insert streamer name]. He is a god who floats in your sea of wrong on his ship of right. His plays are FLAWLESS and every loss he takes is pure, unadultared, rng, bullshit. Get your tiny minds out of here and go watch something more casual!! Leave the competition to the the competitors. [insert streamer name] god has essential work to do.
twitch chat
You abhorrent scum. You ignorant fool. I will sue you
You abhorrent scum. You ignorant fool. I will sue you. You are going to be the target of the greatest lawsuit the world has ever seen. You don't know why? It's completely obvious. It's so obvious, the most deplorable peasant could grasp the full magnitude of your wickedness and treachery with the greatest of ease. Your actions cry out for mercy, and I will be happy to deliver it. And if you're thinking this is a mistake, or merely a deception of mine, you're sadly mistaken, my friend. I have indisputable proof of your continued harassment and other offenses. Even without it, the jury would take one look at you and decide. The incomprehensible magnitude of your crimes brings with it unavoidable, infinite guilt, and whether you notice it or not, everyone else does. Are you interested in who will be serving as the offense attorney? I'll tell you. It's my father. Your defense? It doesn't matter, in fact, they might just not give you one even to spare just one individual from the trauma. My father is the greatest lawyer in the US, the world, and human history, including the future, which he knows due to the fact that he sued the future and they travelled back in time to tell him. He's served for hundreds of Supreme Court cases, and he's won every single one. You may have never thought about being court-marshaled, but now, that's a real threat. That is the power of my father, a culmination of flawless, supreme logic and a perfect knowledge of the law. You will lose this case, your money, and your life. Does that scare you, insignificant bug? Because it should. The entire history of the U.S. Judicial System has been leading up to this moment, where all of its fury is concentrated on ruining your life. My father won't even need to help. Your heinous crimes will be evident to all, so just give up, you crook. Give up before you're forced to.