[Copypasta] i'm a gourmet god

twitchquotes: if you can affirm something you've eaten that I haven't then I'll sub. I'll give you 3 chances to make it fair since i'm gourmet god PS: Don't waste a guess on "dick". ;)
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July 2019
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AITA for drop kicking my 2 month old sister down the stairs?

Some backstory required: Earlier today I was trying to relax but she wouldn't stop fucking making annoying ass googoo gaga noises. So today, I see her, and she is actually standing up! First I think to take a picture and tell my parents, but than I remember what an entitled bitch she is. I run forward, and leap forward and plant both my feet in her face as we both tumble down the stairs. I told my parents that she crawked in front of me whilst I was about to use the stairs so I'm out of trouble, and the surgery went fine and she is basically fine although she seems to have fucking learned her lesson as she 'talks' a lot less now. Next time she does this I'm uppercutting her entitled little baby skull
August 2021

Am I The Asshole?

ZOOMIN , IN THE FOreign. GOt thE enGINE ROARIN

twitchquotes: Z OO MIN , IN THE FOreign ⛽️🚓GOt thE enGINE ROARIN 🚗 ⛽️Z OO MIN , IN THE FOreign ⛽️🚓Z OO MIN , IN THE FOreign ⛽️🚓GOt thE enGINE ROARIN 🚗 ⛽️Z OO MIN , IN THE FOreign ⛽️🚓Z OO MIN , IN THE FOreign ⛽️🚓GOt thE enGINE ROARIN 🚗 ⛽️Z OO MIN , IN THE FOreign ⛽️🚓Z OO MIN , IN THE FOreign ⛽️🚓GOt thE enGINE ROARIN 🚗 ⛽️Z OO MIN , IN THE FOreign ⛽️🚓Z OO MIN , IN THE FOreign ⛽️🚓GOt thE enGINE ROARIN 🚗 ⛽️Z OO MIN , IN THE FOreign ⛽️🚓
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March 2018
Tyler1

Masturbation on a plane should be socially acceptable

March 2021

🎄🎄MERRY CHRISTMAS BITCHES🎄🎄!!

🎄🎄MERRY CHRISTMAS BITCHES🎄🎄!! Now that it’s finally DICKmas 👅💦Santa’s about to slide 🎅🏾😉 down your hot 🔥 hot 🔥chimney tonight. So lick 💦💋those juicy candy canes and drink up that creamy eggnog🍼, it’s about to get wet down at Santa’s workshop🍆🍆! Don’t forgot to slide down that XXXtra 🎅🏾🎅🏾 big North Pole, and make sure your 🍪 cookie 🍪is yummy enough for Santa to eat👄! 👀 But are you bad enough to handle Santa’s giant juicy 8=candy👊🏼COCK=D💦?? Send this to 🔟 of your baddest bitch elves💁🏼💁🏾 If you get 5️⃣ back, youre on the naughty list this year🍆💦! If you get 🔟 back you better be ready for Santa’s hot ♨️CUMlate☕️💦😭 If you get 2️⃣0️⃣ back you’ve got the most bitchin 🍬peppermint 🍬pussy in the North Pole! ❄️⛄ Hope you get to blow 🌬 lots of XXXmas 🎄dick, and that you get lots of XXXmas 🎄CUMMIES 💝💝 HAVE A SLUTTY 💦🍆👅DICKMAS YOU HOE HOE HOE!!! 🎅🏾🎅🏿🎅🏽🎅🏼
April 2022

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