[Copypasta] i'm a gourmet god

twitchquotes: if you can affirm something you've eaten that I haven't then I'll sub. I'll give you 3 chances to make it fair since i'm gourmet god PS: Don't waste a guess on "dick". ;)
twitch chat
July 2019
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

Bro, you MASHING right now!

twitchquotes: Last night, I dreamt I was the head chef at an Italian restaurant, and a notoriously-picky food critic was waiting for his meal. I was terrified. His review would make or break my career as a chef. I spent an hour cooking up the best pasta I had ever made, and brought it out to his table. But the moment I came up to him, he turned to me and shouted "Bro, you MASHING right now!" I was stunned. It was NairoMK. I woke up in a cold sweat.
twitch chat
November 2019
NairoMK

Super Smash Bros

The Battle of Gamestop rages on.

The Battle of Gamestop rages on. Pre-market we could hear the bears in no-man’s land, baiting us towards higher prices so the shorts could do their dirty work. I was stationed at the 13.80 line, and knew the morning was going to be hot. I shoveled a breakfast of tendies and said a quick prayer to Father Cohen. When the bell rang, the bears surged into our trenches. Blood and rainbow fur filled the air and littered the ground. The Diamond Division has seen worse days, and we held firm. As the bears retreated we gave chase to retake ground we’d lost in the past week. As I caught my breath near the 14.50, I could see bodies everywhere; paper hands who had fallen in earlier battles. One of them groaned and reached a hand towards me. I spat on him and kept moving. No honor in retreat, and no sympathy for self-inflicted wounds. This war won’t be won in a day, but it will be won. Tell my wife’s boyfriend to tell her I love her.
December 2020

WallStreetBets

Raise ur Blue Cards

twitchquotes: ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ノ ʀᴀɪsᴇ ᴜʀ BLUE CARDS ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ノ
twitch chat
May 2014
Trick2g

I, an atheist, accidentally said “oh my g*d” instead of “oh my science”

I, an atheist, accidentally said “oh my g*d” instead of “oh my science” You read the title, I just cannot believe I said the “g” word on accident. Am I even an atheist anymore? I don’t like religion or anything but like maybe it infiltrated me and is manipulating me to say “oh my g*d” instead of “oh my science”. Please guys it wasn’t me, I didn’t mean it. I’m very disappointed in myself, I think I need to go to science camp or go to therapy. What if I’m secretly religious? what should I do? Is my foreskin going to fall off?? Please can someone give me advice, any advice is appreciated. Best regards, -an atheist(?)
November 2020

DAILY QUEST SPAM THIS 50 TIMES

twitchquotes: ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬DAILY▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ KEKW SPAM THIS 50 TIMES KEKW ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬QUEST▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬
twitch chat
November 2020
Text-to-Speech Playing