twitchquotes:
if you can affirm something you've eaten that I haven't then I'll sub. I'll give you 3 chances to make it fair since i'm gourmet god PS: Don't waste a guess on "dick". 
twitch chat
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
I have done it, 80 years and not a single nut bust
twitchquotes:
I have done it, 80 years and not a single nut bust. Thanks to my incredible goal i have obtained an iq of 156 which i have used to build a pc that deletes system 32 when it loads any type of NSFW. I’m currently in a hospital bed dying of terminal disease, however, this is a victory as in 72 hours i’m expected to die. Wish me luck in this final run.
twitch chat
Kripp's kidney stone surgery
twitchquotes:
There was a heated discussion among the medical experts gathered around an operating table, on which laid an unconscious Romanian man in his 30s. "The salt levels are off the charts!" exclaimed a cardiologist. The head surgeon sighs, "I guess this is what you get when you combine a vegan diet and a sedentary lifestyle playing a children's card game." Upon those words the body suddenly stirs, from which a muted voice barely croaks, "Tell...Rania...not to press...the button".
twitch chat
Kripp
Szechuan sauce at McDonald's
"Hey, do you guys have szechuan sauce?", I ask the low IQ minimum wage slave. "N-no, sir. We just ran out", he muttered. I was overcome with a primal rage. I jump on the counter, screaming "I'm Pickle Rick!”. The 200 IQ crowd chanted in unison, “WUBBALUBBA DUB DUB” whilst beating their chests towards the cowering worker. I put my shirt over my head and let out the purest REEE to show my devotion to Rick. Everyone else REEEs as well. Yes, my brothers, let it all out. The manger comes in and calls the police, he doesn’t understand the mature and intellectual nature of our cries. We Naruto run to the next McDonalds store as we search endlessly for that sauce.
Rick and Morty
100% reason to go for the face
twitchquotes:
10% luck, 20% skill, 15% slowly ranking uphill, 5% topdeck, 50% race or just 100% reason to go for the face 
twitch chat
Kripp
Hearthstone
Our Salt, who art in hearthstone
twitchquotes:
Our Salt, who art in hearthstone, hallowed be thy game, your kripparian comes, your aggro decks be done, on constructed as it is in arena. Give us today our daily meme deck. And forgive us our rng bullshit, as we also have forgiven others rng bullshit. And lead us not into Smorc, but deliver us from the evil aggro decks. Amen
Our Salt, who art in hearthstone, hallowed be thy game, your kripparian comes, your aggro decks be done, on constructed as it is in arena. Give us today our daily meme deck. And forgive us our rng bullshit, as we also have forgiven others rng bullshit. And lead us not into Smorc, but deliver us from the evil aggro decks. Amen
twitch chat
Kripp