twitchquotes:
My poop story.
I lived in a dookie (pun on purpose) apartment complex in a college town, literally $300 a month, on a river in the south. So a small and always very high maintenance team worked for them. They showed up (stoned) and were changing everyone’s filters. Heard. Ok come in. I had a particularly funky little caesars pizza not an hour before the incident. We were making small talk and such as these things tend to linger, I suddenly felt a disturbance in my lower gut (bubbleguts). I felt confident in my distance from the maintenance guy that I got squeeze out a fart and then distract him into another room. This was no fart. At slightest bit of effort I put towards this fart a flood of terrible pizza diarrhea shot out of my ass like a goddamn rocket. As I was staring this man in the eye. I was staring another human being in the eyes...while I pooed my pants. To this day not only do I have no clue if he knew or not but I would still pay thousands of dollars to just see my face when that happened.
That is my poop story.
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OpieOP Ｈｅｌｌｏ Ｃｙｂｒｉｘ， ｔｈｉｓ ｉｓ ｔｈｅ Ｈｅａｄ Ｃｈｅｆ ｏｆ Ｄｏｍｉｎｏｓ™ ｗｅ ｈａｖｅ ｎｏｔｉｃｅｄ ｙｏｕ ｈａｖｅｎ’ｔ ｏｒｄｅｒｅｄ ｆｏｒ ２ ｄａｙｓ， ｗｅ’ｒｅ ｊｕｓｔ ｃｈｅｃｋｉｎｇ ｔｏ ｓｅｅ ｉｆ ｅｖｅｒｙｔｈｉｎｇ ｉｓ ｏｋａｙ ａｎｄ ｗｅ’ｖｅ ｐｒｅｐａｒｅｄ ｙｏｕ ａ ｃｏｍｐｌｅｍｅｎｔａｒｙ ｐｉｚｚａ ｏｆ ｙｏｕｒ ｆａｖｏｕｒｉｔｅ ｔｙｐｅ （ＸＸＬ ａｌｌ－ｔｏｐｐｉｎｇｓ ｐｉｚｚａ－ｔｏｐｐｅｄ ｐｉｚｚａ ｐｉｚｚａ－ｓｔｕｆｆｅｄ ｐｉｚｚａ ｃｒｕｓｔ）． Ｓｅｅ ｙｏｕ ｓｏｏｎ！ OpieOP