[Copypasta] My poop story

twitchquotes: My poop story. I lived in a dookie (pun on purpose) apartment complex in a college town, literally $300 a month, on a river in the south. So a small and always very high maintenance team worked for them. They showed up (stoned) and were changing everyone’s filters. Heard. Ok come in. I had a particularly funky little caesars pizza not an hour before the incident. We were making small talk and such as these things tend to linger, I suddenly felt a disturbance in my lower gut (bubbleguts). I felt confident in my distance from the maintenance guy that I got squeeze out a fart and then distract him into another room. This was no fart. At slightest bit of effort I put towards this fart a flood of terrible pizza diarrhea shot out of my ass like a goddamn rocket. As I was staring this man in the eye. I was staring another human being in the eyes...while I pooed my pants. To this day not only do I have no clue if he knew or not but I would still pay thousands of dollars to just see my face when that happened. That is my poop story.
twitch chat
June 2019
I used to be a real ad
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God of War Kratos

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September 2021

I'm gonna play this perfectly. Kripp misses lethal.

twitchquotes: Kripparrian grabs Rania by the scruff of her delicate neck, thrusting her to the Hyper-X Ultra-White High-Def gaming chair. The Krippster's rightfully claimed woman presents her rose-hued folds to her master in submission. "Top deck me and #Shrek me, you Romanian stallion" Rania wails in passion. Kripparadino kicks Cattarrian aside, and towers over the chair, "I'm gonna play this perfectly." Kripp misses lethal.
twitch chat
February 2019
Kripp

Hearthstone

Muffet from Undertale

β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–‘ β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–€β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–€β–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘ β–€β–€β–‘β–€β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–€β–‘β–€β–€β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–„β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–„β–€β–€β–‘β–€β–€β–‘β–€β–€β–„β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–„β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–„β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–‘β–€β–„β–€β–€β–„β–€β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–€β–„β–€β–€β–„β–€β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–€β–€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–„β–„β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–€β–€β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–‘ β–€β–„β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–€β–€β–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–„β–€ β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–„β–„β–€β–„β–ˆβ–€β–‘β–„β–‘β–‘β–„β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–„β–€β–„β–„β–„β–„β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–€β–„β–„β–€β–‘β–„β–€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–„β–‘β–€β–„β–„β–€β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–„β–‘β–€β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–€β–‘β–„β–€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–„β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘
March 2016

Identify as an FIM-92 Stinger anti-aircraft missile

twitchquotes: I sexually identify as an FIM-92 Stinger anti-aircraft missile. My sole erotic fantasy is to explode inside an attack helicopter with such force that their physical vessel is utterly consumed by the intensity of my fiery passion.
twitch chat
March 2015

I sexually Identify as

i think they should make golden cards have a small bonus

twitchquotes: i think they should make golden cards have a small bonus or something so it's worth getting. I think +1 attack or -1 less mana to cast or something
twitch chat
April 2017

Hearthstone

Text-to-Speech Playing