[Copypasta] My poop story

twitchquotes: My poop story. I lived in a dookie (pun on purpose) apartment complex in a college town, literally $300 a month, on a river in the south. So a small and always very high maintenance team worked for them. They showed up (stoned) and were changing everyoneโ€™s filters. Heard. Ok come in. I had a particularly funky little caesars pizza not an hour before the incident. We were making small talk and such as these things tend to linger, I suddenly felt a disturbance in my lower gut (bubbleguts). I felt confident in my distance from the maintenance guy that I got squeeze out a fart and then distract him into another room. This was no fart. At slightest bit of effort I put towards this fart a flood of terrible pizza diarrhea shot out of my ass like a goddamn rocket. As I was staring this man in the eye. I was staring another human being in the eyes...while I pooed my pants. To this day not only do I have no clue if he knew or not but I would still pay thousands of dollars to just see my face when that happened. That is my poop story.
twitch chat
June 2019
I used to be a real ad
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When well met, my eye automatically go to the paladin

twitchquotes: ๏ฝ—๏ฝˆ๏ฝ…๏ฝŽใ€€๏ฝ—๏ฝ…๏ฝŒ๏ฝŒใ€€๏ฝ๏ฝ…๏ฝ”๏ผŒใ€€๏ฝ๏ฝ™ใ€€๏ฝ…๏ฝ™๏ฝ…ใ€€๏ฝ๏ฝ•๏ฝ”๏ฝ๏ฝ๏ฝ๏ฝ”๏ฝ‰๏ฝƒ๏ฝ๏ฝŒ๏ฝŒ๏ฝ™ใ€€๏ฝ‡๏ฝใ€€๏ฝ”๏ฝใ€€๏ฝ”๏ฝˆ๏ฝ…ใ€€๏ฝ๏ฝ๏ฝŒ๏ฝ๏ฝ„๏ฝ‰๏ฝŽ๏ผŽใ€€๏ฝ‰ใ€€๏ฝ„๏ฝ‰๏ฝ–๏ฝ‰๏ฝŽ๏ฝ…ใ€€๏ฝ“๏ฝˆ๏ฝ‰๏ฝ…๏ฝŒ๏ฝ„ใ€€๏ฝ๏ฝ™ใ€€๏ฝ„๏ฝ‰๏ฝƒ๏ฝ‹ใ€€๏ฝ๏ฝŽ๏ฝ„ใ€€๏ฝ†๏ฝ…๏ฝ…๏ฝŒใ€€๏ฝ‰ใ€€๏ฝˆ๏ฝ๏ฝ–๏ฝ…ใ€€๏ฝ“๏ฝ…๏ฝ˜ใ€€๏ฝ—๏ฝ‰๏ฝ”๏ฝˆใ€€ใ€€๏ฝ”๏ฝˆ๏ฝ…ใ€€๏ฝ’๏ฝ…๏ฝƒ๏ฝ’๏ฝ•๏ฝ‰ ๏ฝ”๏ผŽใ€€๏ฝ๏ฝŒ๏ฝŒใ€€๏ฝ‚๏ฝ…๏ฝƒ๏ฝ๏ฝ๏ฝ‰๏ฝŽ๏ฝ‡ใ€€๏ฝ‡๏ฝ…๏ฝ”ใ€€๏ฝ„๏ฝ๏ฝ—๏ฝŽ๏ผŽ
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

Iโ€™m struggling to accept religious people as human (/r/atheism parody)

This has been growing in me for a while, but the more I see whatโ€™s going on in africa and the middle east, and all the bullshit around the world in the name of religion, Iโ€™ve gotten to a point where Iโ€™m looking at all religious people as not even human. I donโ€™t know if I quite see them as livestock or wild animals or whatever, but itโ€™s pretty close to it. I still donโ€™t understand why people say to respect other peopleโ€™s religious beliefs. I certainly donโ€™t. I actually think religious beliefs should be mocked, ripped apart, criticized relentlessly, and actually probably be made illegal. I hope to see a future where believers are looked at as mentally ill and mentally retarded, who need to be locked up and treated, or sent to jail. Iโ€™m just so disgusted by all of them.
June 2021

Hello Kripp, it's me Timothy

twitchquotes: สœแด‡สŸสŸแด แด‹ส€ษชแด˜แด˜, ษชแด›'s แดแด‡, แด›ษชแดแดแด›สœส. ส€แด‡แดแด‡แดส™แด‡ส€ แดแด‡? สแดแดœ แดœsแด‡แด… แด›แด ส™แดœสŸสŸส แดแด‡ แด€ษดแด… แด„แด€สŸสŸ แดแด‡ แด›สœแด‡ ส™ แดกแดส€แด… แดกสœแด‡ษด ษช แดกแด€s แด€ แด‹ษชแด…, ส™แดœแด› ษช ษขส€แด‡แดก แดœแด˜ แด€ษดแด… ษขแดแด› แด›แดแดœษขสœ แ•ฆ( อกยฐ อœส– อกยฐ)แ•ค . ษช แด€แด ษดแดแดก สœแด‡ส€แด‡ แด›แด แด…แด‡า“แด‡ษดแด… แดส สœแดษดแดส€ แด€ษดแด… แด‹ษชแด„แด‹ สแดแดœส€ แด€** (เธ‡'ฬ€-'ฬ)เธ‡
twitch chat
April 2014
Kripp

Amazed Face

โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–„ โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–„ โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–„ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–„ โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–„โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€
ascii art
August 2018

Toast the rarity of your reveal card was nerfed

twitchquotes: Toast, this is Blizzard employee. The rarity of your reveal card was just nerfed to common. To get a rare card, please mention the new expansion at least 4 more times.
twitch chat
July 2019
DisguisedToast

Hearthstone

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