[Copypasta] My poop story

twitchquotes: My poop story. I lived in a dookie (pun on purpose) apartment complex in a college town, literally $300 a month, on a river in the south. So a small and always very high maintenance team worked for them. They showed up (stoned) and were changing everyone’s filters. Heard. Ok come in. I had a particularly funky little caesars pizza not an hour before the incident. We were making small talk and such as these things tend to linger, I suddenly felt a disturbance in my lower gut (bubbleguts). I felt confident in my distance from the maintenance guy that I got squeeze out a fart and then distract him into another room. This was no fart. At slightest bit of effort I put towards this fart a flood of terrible pizza diarrhea shot out of my ass like a goddamn rocket. As I was staring this man in the eye. I was staring another human being in the eyes...while I pooed my pants. To this day not only do I have no clue if he knew or not but I would still pay thousands of dollars to just see my face when that happened. That is my poop story.
twitch chat
June 2019
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

MoonMoon can you please stop feeding?

twitchquotes: Hey Moon, I'm currently watching the stream with my 5 year old son, now I don't mind all the cursing but can you please stop feeding? I don't want my son to learn how to suck at video games
twitch chat
February 2017
MOONMOON

Classic

Overwatch

I sexually Identify as an the sun

twitchquotes: I sexually Identify as an the sun. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of slamming hydrogen isotopes into each other to make helium & light and send it throught the galaxy. People say to me that a person being a star is Impossible and I’m fucking retarded but I don’t care, I’m beautiful. I’m having a plastic surgeon inflate me with hydrogen and raise my temperature to over 6000 Β°C. From now on I want you guys to call me β€œSol” and respect my right to give you vitamin D and probably sunburns. If you can’t accept me you’re a fusionphobe and need to check your astral privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.
twitch chat
August 2015

I sexually Identify as

Spam is a brand of several canned precooked meat products

twitchquotes: Spam is a brand of several canned precooked meat products made by the Hormel Foods Corporation. It was first introduced in 1937 and gained popularity worldwide after its use during World War 2
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Top Lel

β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–€β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–€β–β–Œβ–‘β–β–Œβ–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–€β–€β–Œβ–‘β–‘ β–‘β–€β–€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–„β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–€β–€β–Œβ–„β–ˆβ–Œβ–Œβ–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–€β–„β–„β–β–’β–Œβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–€β–„β–ˆβ–€β–€β–’β–’β–’β–Œβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–€β–Œβ–‘β–β–β–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œβ–’β–„β–β–’β–Œβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–β–€β– β–β–€β–„β–ˆβ–Œβ–Œβ–‘β–β–β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–β–’β–Œβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ– β–β–β–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œβ–Œβ–‘β–β–β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–’β–’β–’β–Œβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β– β–β–β–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œβ–Œβ–‘β–β–β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–„β–β–’β–Œβ–ˆβ–€β–„β–„β–€β–€ β–β–β–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œβ–Œβ–€β–β–β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–β–’β–„β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–β–β–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œβ–„β–ˆβ–β–β–ˆβ–€β–€β–„β–„β–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–β–β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–β–„β–„β–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–β–β–ˆβ–€β–€β–„β–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ ▐▄▄▀░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░
November 2014

This is the shittiest reply ever Overwatch version

twitchquotes: This is the shittiest reply ever. Overwatch requires camping, booping, stunning, sleeping, hacking, slamming, aimbotting and hitting shots. There are not β€œpositions” in Overwatch. A kickers job is LITERALLY to kick. Horrible analogy, kind of embarrassing.
twitch chat
December 2019
Text-to-Speech Playing