[Copypasta] Sir you have been found with Rocket League hacks

twitchquotes: Sir you have been found with Rocket League hacks. A SWAT team is on the way to your location. Make sure the door is open, otherwise they are ready to break it down. Don't destroy any evidence and don't contact your accomplices! Prepare disks, flash drives and any other multimedia devices containing illegal materials, proving your criminality. Be prepared to answer the questions during your interrogation! Cooperate and don't deny the charges against you.
twitch chat
June 2019
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

Sorry I've dropped my bag of Religious Symbols

twitchquotes: ☪ ✡ † ☨ ✞ ✝ ☥ ☦ ☓ ♁ ☩ ☪ ✡ † ☨ ✞ ✝ ☥ ☦ ☓ ♁ ☩ ☪ ✡ † ☨ ✞ ✝ ☥ ☦ ☓ ♁ ☩ Sorry I've dropped my bag of Religious Symbols ☪ ✡ † ☨ ✞ ✝ ☥ ☦ ☓ ♁ ☩ .☪ ✡ † ☨ ✞ ✝ ☥ ☦ ☓ ♁ ☩ ☪ ✡ † ☨ ✞ ✝ ☥ ☦ ☓ ♁ ☩
twitch chat
August 2015
strifecro

Grammar rules for -ussy

-ussy as a fuffix is not gender-specific. on top of that, bussy is already a form of -ussy, for the word boy. Boyussy does not work, due to y acting more like a vowel in context of the word as a whole. using bussy in place of -ussy is never applicable. To use bussy means you are using Bussy as a descriptor, not as a noun (ex: dolphin bussy instead of dolphussy.) This is true for all words, even when spelling and/or pronunciation is not immediately obvious. (Ex: Ohio, while one thing might need to use Ohiobussy or Ohbussy, is spelled Ohussy, pronounced Oh-hussy. Some could argue for Ohiussy, pronounced Ohi-ussy, but that results in -ussy still being seperate from the word, not integrated.) I hope this clarification helps!
April 2022

How do I get my husband to stop going ‘Goblin Mode’ during sex?

How do I get my husband to stop going ‘Goblin Mode’ during sex? TLDR; My husband says ‘Goblin Mode activated’ when we start to have sex, growls and acts like a caveman, and then says ‘Goblin Mode off’ when we stop, and then pretends not to remember afterward. I really love my husband and he’s always been great in bed. But recently he’s been acting really weird. So, a couple of days ago, my son went on a rampage through our house and said he was in ‘Goblin Mode’. We didn’t really know what to do with him, so we sent him to live with my parents so he can go to a special needs school. My husband a really great relationship with our son and loved him more than anything. Naturally, he was upset when he had to leave. He’s an incredibly tough man, but this was the first time I’ve ever seen him cry. I think since then, he’s been a little emotionally unwell. I’ve heard him muttering, ‘Goblin’ repeatedly when he didn’t notice me, staring blankly into his food, and just going alone by himself to do who knows what. I feel awful for him, but we both agreed that this was for the best. Last night, the day after our son went away, we decided to have sex to relieve our stress. However, my husband said ‘Goblin Mode activated’, starting growling, and went wild having sex with me. Admittedly, it was some of the best and most experimental sex I’ve ever had, but I’m worried that something might be going on with my husband. Any advice? Edit: The problem isn’t the ‘Goblin Mode’, it’s that he could be ill
July 2022

Confessions

Classic

AITA for drop kicking my 2 month old sister down the stairs?

Some backstory required: Earlier today I was trying to relax but she wouldn't stop fucking making annoying ass googoo gaga noises. So today, I see her, and she is actually standing up! First I think to take a picture and tell my parents, but than I remember what an entitled bitch she is. I run forward, and leap forward and plant both my feet in her face as we both tumble down the stairs. I told my parents that she crawked in front of me whilst I was about to use the stairs so I'm out of trouble, and the surgery went fine and she is basically fine although she seems to have fucking learned her lesson as she 'talks' a lot less now. Next time she does this I'm uppercutting her entitled little baby skull
August 2021

Am I The Asshole?

Kripp defending Blizzard on Diablo Immortal

twitchquotes: Hi Kripp, video game journalist and decent human being here. Looking to get your thoughts on the disgusting response of entitled gamers to the Diablo Immortal reveal. On a scale from Hitler (least evil) to Straight White Male PC Gamer (most evil), how would you characterize those who criticize Blizzard? Hope to hear you are as unbiased as I am, thanks!
twitch chat
November 2018
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing