[Copypasta] Sir you have been found with Rocket League hacks

twitchquotes: Sir you have been found with Rocket League hacks. A SWAT team is on the way to your location. Make sure the door is open, otherwise they are ready to break it down. Don't destroy any evidence and don't contact your accomplices! Prepare disks, flash drives and any other multimedia devices containing illegal materials, proving your criminality. Be prepared to answer the questions during your interrogation! Cooperate and don't deny the charges against you.
twitch chat
June 2019
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Your deck is insane, Trump said

twitchquotes: "Your deck is insane." Trump said, as he slipped his feminine hand into Kripp's pants and smirked. "Are you trying to top-deck me?" protests Kripp, as Trump blushes, the boyish figure undressed before Kripp. "Weak tempo play, Trump." The two kissed, deeply and passionately, and afterwards Trump places his Leper Gnome into Kripp's Twisting Nether.
twitch chat
April 2016
Kripp

Classic

Hearthstone

KappaPride

Toast the rarity of your reveal card was nerfed

twitchquotes: Toast, this is Blizzard employee. The rarity of your reveal card was just nerfed to common. To get a rare card, please mention the new expansion at least 4 more times.
twitch chat
July 2019
DisguisedToast

Hearthstone

Just as the founding fathers intended

I own a musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. "What the devil?" As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, "Tally ho lads" the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He Bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding fathers intended.
November 2020

Game Theory: Who asked?

This leads to the very mysterious question: "Who asked?" Well, to understand the question, we have to understand the answer: So this very particular question is asking about who asked, the question is divided into two parts: Who & asked "Who" is what is called an "Interrogative word" which specifies the answer to make it suitable for the question, the "Who" here is specifying a person/human/homo sapiens/guy which has a brain to think about the surrounding stuff which surrounds him, which distinguishes the person/human/homo sapiens/guy from animals, plants, extraterrestrial creatures, or objects, so the answer should be as I said in the abstract: A human. Second: "asked" is a verb in the second condition of the forms of the verb, which are divided into three types: Regular, Past, or Past participle. and the verb "asked" is in the "Past" condition, which talks about the time that is gone and no longer exists. The original form of this particular verb is "ask", which is to say something in order to obtain an answer or some information. So, to summon what the answer wants from the previous two points, it's that: The answer wants to understand and know about the person/human/homo sapiens/guy who wanted to say something in order to obtain an answer or some information. So, in order to answer this question, we will have to identify two points: First: What was the question that the subject of the answer to the question "Who asked?" asked? Well, to understand this question, we will NOT have to understand what is the answer. We will just have to understand the definition of "Question" The "Question" is A sentence worded or expressed so as to elicit information. Questions could be identified using the "Interrogative Words", which we talked about earlier. these "Interrogative Words" are nine, which are: Who, What, Where, Why, Which, When, Whose, Whom, and How. We are going to explain each individually: As we said earlier: "Who" is specifying a person/human/homo sapiens/guy who has a brain to think about the surrounding stuff which surrounds him, which distinguishes the person/human/homo sapiens/guy from animals, plants, extraterrestrial creatures, or objects, so the answer should be as I said in the abstract: A human. "What" is specifying a non-person/non-human/non-homo sapiens/non-guy who either does not have a brain that he can understand and think properly with, like plants, or objects, or they have a brain, either that their brains cannot understand and think properly, like animals, or their brain can understand and think properly, but their species/type is rather different from the society, like extraterrestrial creatures, so the answer should be as I said in the abstract: A(n) animal, plant, extraterrestrial creature, or object. "Where" is specifying a place, city, country, continent, etc. where something happens, or some(one/person/human/homo sapiens/guy), plant, animal, extraterrestrial creature or object which exists in a place, city, country, continent, etc. "Why" is specifying a reason for doing something. "Which" is specifying a choice of either two or more choices that the receiver of the question usually chooses. "When" is specifying a time in which either something already happened, or something will happen in either near, or far future, for example: "When will anyone save me as I was captured by MatPat for trying to comment a joke about his video?" "Whose" is specifying a person/human/homo sapiens/guy who has a brain to think about the surrounding stuff which surrounds him, which distinguishes the person/human/homo sapiens/guy from animals, plants, extraterrestrial creatures, or objects, and that person/human/homo sapiens/guy owns something, or someone ( if he is a human trafficker ), and the sender of the question is trying to find who owns that something, or someone. "Whom" is an old-fashioned term, not often used today. Many native English speakers are less than clear about its accurate use. In fact, the word serves the same purpose as "Who" questions, which as we said: specifies a person/human/homo sapiens/guy who has a brain to think about the surrounding stuff which surrounds him, which distinguishes the person/human/homo sapiens/guy from animals, plants, extraterrestrial creatures, or objects, so the answer should be as I said in the abstract: A human, but tends to be used when it is the object of the verb. With modern English, there is no real need to use the term. "How" could be referring to the way something is done or refers to the status of the receiver of the question. Now, let's get back to where we were talking: Questions can be different, and many, and the possibility of guessing the question could be high or low according to the frequency of using it, but guessing a question which was asked for the first time is very difficult, so, it is not specific what was the question that the subject of the answer to the question "Who asked?" asked. Second: What is the purpose of the question "Who asked?"? Well, it could be referring to roasting someone as the humor of "No one asked.", and it could be referring to actually asking a question about who asked the question. So, here's the answer to the question "Who asked?": It could be anyone who made something unlikely for the others or someone who asked a question which could be a hint to treasure, or a last "sentence" from somebody, or something else. (s)He could be you. (s)He could be me. (s)He could be Elon Musk. (s)He could be even your mom. as long as they have made something unlikely for the others or they have asked a question which could be a hint to treasure, or a last "sentence" from somebody, or something else.
February 2022

Who Asked?

Ben Shapiro Kung Fu Fighting

Let's say for a minute, that hypothetically, everyone was in fact kung fu fighting. Now statistically speaking of course, this is impossible. Now hypothetically if they were, hypothetically of course. Now, would they all be performing the same so called Kung Fu move? Statistically speaking that is highly unlikely. This would also, hypothetically, be quite dangerous if it were to actually occur. Coming from a medical official, my wife, who is a doctor, she says that hypothetically, this would be dangerous. So, logically, this would not happen. So in fact, there is no way, impossible even, that everybody was Kung Fu Fighting.
December 2020

Ben Shapiro

Text-to-Speech Playing