[Copypasta] Sir you have been found with Rocket League hacks

twitchquotes: Sir you have been found with Rocket League hacks. A SWAT team is on the way to your location. Make sure the door is open, otherwise they are ready to break it down. Don't destroy any evidence and don't contact your accomplices! Prepare disks, flash drives and any other multimedia devices containing illegal materials, proving your criminality. Be prepared to answer the questions during your interrogation! Cooperate and don't deny the charges against you.
twitch chat
June 2019
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Today I attempted to insert a whole cantaloupe melon

twitchquotes: Today I attempted to insert a whole cantaloupe melon into my anus because the local shops had run out of apricots (I buy a lot). Using about a gallon of butter, breathing techniques and a few hours I managed to finally get it inside. However it was too uncomfortable so I tried to shit it back out.This is where things got confusing because rather than a melon sliding out half a dozen apricots did. Now there is a chance that I just blacked out upon excreting the cantaloupe and it rolled away somewhere and that I happened to have a dozen or so left over apricots lying around my rectum from earlier but I cannot for the life of me find the melon anywhere.I think I may have the power to anally turn melons into apricots. Further experimentation will be required of course (once my rectum has recovered) but if this turns out to be true then I may be able to solve world hunger.
twitch chat
April 2019

Ape rocket

💎💎💎💎💎💎💎💎💎💎💎💎💎💎💎 💎💎💎💎💎💎💎🚀💎💎💎💎💎💎💎 💎💎💎💎💎💎🚀🚀🚀💎💎💎💎💎💎 💎💎💎💎💎🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀💎💎💎💎💎 💎💎💎💎💎🚀🚀🐵🚀🚀💎💎💎💎💎 💎💎💎💎💎🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀💎💎💎💎💎 💎💎💎💎💎🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀💎💎💎💎💎 💎💎💎💎🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀💎💎💎💎 💎💎💎🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀💎💎💎 💎💎💎💎💎💎🚀🚀🚀💎 💎💎💎💎💎 💎💎💎💎💎🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌💎💎💎💎💎 💎💎💎💎💎💎🍌🍌🍌💎💎💎💎💎💎 💎💎💎💎💎💎💎🍌💎💎💎💎💎💎💎 💎💎💎💎💎💎💎💎💎💎💎💎💎💎💎
ascii art
April 2021

WallStreetBets

FailFish

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠉⡉⠈⠙⠛⠋⢉⣙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⢋⣭⣴⣶⣾⡛⡶⡶⢤⣾⣇⣈⣧⡤⠈⢙⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⣤⣶⣷⣿⣯⣉⣤⣴⢶⣴⣯⣽⣿⣿⣛⣿⣿⣧⠻⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⣃⢌⣺⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⡋⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⢻⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠟⢁⣴⣯⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⢻⣿ ⣿⣿⣡⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡎⣿ ⡿⢡⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⢻⡟⣿⣿⠟⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⣿ ⠇⣧⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠀⠈⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⢹ ⣦⢿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡼ ⣿⣷⣌⢻⣿⠃⠀⣧⠀⠀⠀⡠⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄ ⣿⣿⣿⣷⠙⠀⠀⡏⠀⠀⡐⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢏⣾ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⡿⠃⠀⢀⣠⠔⠀⠀⣴⣶⣶⣦⣤⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⣼⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠁⠀⣠⠟⠁⠀⣠⣾⣇⣠⣽⡏⠉⣿⣿⡿⢋⣾⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠞⠁⠀⠀⣼⠛⠛⠛⠛⠉⠀⢠⣿⠯⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⠀⣉⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡾⣡⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡯⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡀⢀⣀⠁⠀⠀⠀⣴⡾⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡄⣼⡿⣱⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⣥⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣱⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡿⢀⣠⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢟⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣥⣐⡲⡹⣒⣾⣴⠠⣬⣝⣛⣛⣿⣯⣿⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣭⣝⣘⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
ascii art
September 2020

Hey, kripp! ¿Qué pasa, hombre?

twitchquotes: Hey, kripp! ¿Qué pasa, hombre? Es Jeff de la clase de Historia del último semestre. No sabía que eras una especie de celebridad famosa hahahaha. Batirme, hombre. Por cierto, ¿alguna vez te uniste a Brian? Él era un niño de T H I C C. XD Eres un perro así. Es genial verte de nuevo. ¡Golpéame en algún momento!
twitch chat
June 2017
Kripp
More Copypastas
Text-to-Speech Playing