[Copypasta] Sir you have been found with Rocket League hacks

twitchquotes: Sir you have been found with Rocket League hacks. A SWAT team is on the way to your location. Make sure the door is open, otherwise they are ready to break it down. Don't destroy any evidence and don't contact your accomplices! Prepare disks, flash drives and any other multimedia devices containing illegal materials, proving your criminality. Be prepared to answer the questions during your interrogation! Cooperate and don't deny the charges against you.
twitch chat
June 2019
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I sexually identify as Harambe

twitchquotes: I sexually Identify as Harambe. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of living in a gorilla enclosure at Cincinnati zoo and dragging children. People say to me that a person being Harambe is impossible and I'm retarded but I don't care, I'm beautiful. I'm having a plastic surgeon install the name Harambe, harmless intentions and a gorillas body on me. From now on I want you guys to call me "Harambe" and respect my right to roam around the gorilla enclosure and drag around small children. If you can't accept me you're an agrizoophobe and need to check your zoo official privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.
twitch chat
August 2016

Harambe

I sexually Identify as

I took Kaceytron on a date

twitchquotes: Once lived a maiden with unmatched beauty, flowing black hair, her name was Kaceytron. She took care of an orphan, just a young CatCam, i decided i would still go for it. Took her out on a date and we ended in bed, now this is the point where the story turns sad. I expected nice boobies but couldn't be wronger, the girl was a boy with a 20inch DONGER
twitch chat
June 2014
Kaceytron

Kripp meets Gordon Ramsay

twitchquotes: Kripp meets Gordan Ramsay behind the kitchen, gently caressing his body, he mutters "hey say that word again, and say it like you mean it" "ORE-GAHHHNO" Ramsey softly whispers into kripps ear, as he gets chills throughout his body "oh you know i love it when you say that, now give me my daily dose of OMEEGA 3" as Ramsey inserts his sausage into kripps prepared packag
twitch chat
December 2016
Kripp

Sparkle the spam away

twitchquotes: (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ SPARKLE THE ✿*∗˵╰༼✪ᗜ✪༽╯˵∗*✿ SPAM AWAY (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧
twitch chat
March 2016
Kripp

we don't operate on empty jars of spaghetti sauce

gf is prego we like to get kinky anyways one night things get particularly saucy i'm sticking my noodle in her when I notice weird fucking chunks coming out, so I turn on the lights wtf it's red everywhere and she's obviously not on her period i look up at her, she's got a glassy, jarred look on her face and she's not answering ohshitohshitohshitohshit i rush her into my car and speed all the way to the hospital she's still bleeding everywhere by the time we get there, she's not bleeding much anymore, but all the color has drained and she looks colorless and almost transparent oh shit, she looks like she's in a vegetative state storm into to the emergency room, cary her to the nearest doctor and explain eveything he takes one look at ther and says "sir, i'm sorry, there's nothing we can do" "WHY THE FUCK NOT???" "we don't operate on empty jars of spaghetti sauce"
February 2021

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