[Copypasta] Sir you have been found with Rocket League hacks

twitchquotes: Sir you have been found with Rocket League hacks. A SWAT team is on the way to your location. Make sure the door is open, otherwise they are ready to break it down. Don't destroy any evidence and don't contact your accomplices! Prepare disks, flash drives and any other multimedia devices containing illegal materials, proving your criminality. Be prepared to answer the questions during your interrogation! Cooperate and don't deny the charges against you.
twitch chat
June 2019
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Head automatically goes to pillow

twitchquotes: When Heroes of Storm, my head automatically goes to the pillow. I watch him spam 2 skills with no graphics and I feel I have sex with the pillow. All becoming SLEEP
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

This is Noah Legerino, CEO of Never Legend Incorporated

twitchquotes: Hello Kripparino, this is Noah Legerino, CEO of Never Legend Incorporated©. As you may already know, we are requiring you to change your Twitch name to hl_kripp (has legend) as you no longer are a "never legend". This was stated in the contract you signed under section 6 article 9 paragraph 420. This is to be enforced immediately.
twitch chat
August 2015
Kripp

UwU

⡆⣐⢕⢕⢕⢕⢕⢕⢕⢕⠅⢗⢕⢕⢕⢕⢕⢕⢕⠕⠕⢕⢕⢕⢕⢕⢕⢕⢕⢕ ⢐⢕⢕⢕⢕⢕⣕⢕⢕⠕⠁⢕⢕⢕⢕⢕⢕⢕⢕⠅⡄⢕⢕⢕⢕⢕⢕⢕⢕⢕ ⢕⢕⢕⢕⢕⠅⢗⢕⠕⣠⠄⣗⢕⢕⠕⢕⢕⢕⠕⢠⣿⠐⢕⢕⢕⠑⢕⢕⠵⢕ ⢕⢕⢕⢕⠁⢜⠕⢁⣴⣿⡇⢓⢕⢵⢐⢕⢕⠕⢁⣾⢿⣧⠑⢕⢕⠄⢑⢕⠅⢕ ⢕⢕⠵⢁⠔⢁⣤⣤⣶⣶⣶⡐⣕⢽⠐⢕⠕⣡⣾⣶⣶⣶⣤⡁⢓⢕⠄⢑⢅⢑ ⠍⣧⠄⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣔⢕⢄⢡⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡑⢕⢤⠱⢐ ⢠⢕⠅⣾⣿⠋⢿⣿⣿⣿⠉⣿⣿⣷⣦⣶⣽⣿⣿⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⢹⣷⣷⡅⢐ ⣔⢕⢥⢻⣿⡀⠈⠛⠛⠁⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠈⠛⠛⠁⠄⣼⣿⣿⡇⢔ ⢕⢕⢽⢸⢟⢟⢖⢖⢤⣶⡟⢻⣿⡿⠻⣿⣿⡟⢀⣿⣦⢤⢤⢔⢞⢿⢿⣿⠁⢕ ⢕⢕⠅⣐⢕⢕⢕⢕⢕⣿⣿⡄⠛⢀⣦⠈⠛⢁⣼⣿⢗⢕⢕⢕⢕⢕⢕⡏⣘⢕ ⢕⢕⠅⢓⣕⣕⣕⣕⣵⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣕⢕⢕⢕⢕⡵⢀⢕⢕ ⢑⢕⠃⡈⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢃⢕⢕⢕ ⣆⢕⠄⢱⣄⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⢁⢕⢕⠕⢁ ⣿⣦⡀⣿⣿⣷⣶⣬⣍⣛⣛⣛⡛⠿⠿⠿⠛⠛⢛⣛⣉⣭⣤⣂⢜⠕⢑⣡⣴⣿
December 2019

Weebs

Classic

yang gang for life

twitchquotes: If my girl 👩 and yang 🤓 both drowning 😱 and I can only save one 😢 catch me with my 1000 extra a month 🤑🤑 because it's yang gang for life 😤😉😌😌
twitch chat
August 2019

Emoji Pasta

When I was 13, I came out to my parents as a Morbius male.

When i was 13, i came out to my parents as a morbius male. They couldnt accept my morbality, so they sent me off to camp. They just didnt understand— i was morbed that way. At the camp, they gave us electromorb therapy to morb us into beta males. I resisted the treatment, being a morbius male, you cant morb me out of being morbed. I fooled the counselors into thinking they had successfully morbed be into a beta male, and i returned home. To this day, i live a double life— one for my parents, who still cannot accept morbality, and one where its always morbin time.
June 2022

Morbius

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