[Copypasta] I want to become a walrus

twitchquotes: Hello, I am currently 15 years old and I want to become a walrus. I know there's a million people out there just like me, but I promise you I'm different. On December 14th, I'm moving to Antarctica; home of the greatest walri. I've already cut off my arms, and now slide on my stomach everywhere I go as training. I may not be a walrus yet, but I promise you if you give me a chance and the support I need, I will become the greatest walrus ever. Thank you all.
twitch chat
July 2014

Classic

What happened to this ad? :(
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Pretending I'm Ahri

twitchquotes: Sometimes I like to put 9 towels into my anus and pretend I'm Ahri. Please no coperino and pasra macaroni, thank you! Sorry for bad England, I walk many Egyption miles to come watch.
twitch chat
December 2018

Classic

League of Legends

Flanders Diddly Spamly Doodly

โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„ โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„ โ–‘โ–โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–’DIDDLYโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„ โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’SPAMLYโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ โ–‘โ–โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’DOODLYโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–Œ โ–‘โ–โ–ˆโ–Œโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–Œ โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–’โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–’โ–โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–Œ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–Œ โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–’โ–€โ–’โ–ˆโ–Œ โ–‘โ–Œโ–’โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–€โ–’โ–Œ โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–โ–’โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–Œโ–’โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–€ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–โ–Œ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–’โ–Œ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ– โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–
ascii art
September 2016

Classic

Riot's MIGHT SPAGHETTI CODE of elo hell

twitchquotes: ItsBoshyTime IF YOU SEE THIS MESSAGE WHILE SCROLLING, Riot's MIอซอ„Gฬ…ฬ„อญองฬ‘ฬ‹อ†Hฬƒฬ„ฬพฬƒอจอ’Tฬˆฬอจฬ‹อŠอฎYฬฬ„อ„ อจฬ…อ„Sฬƒอฃอ‹อ—อฉPฬ…อฏฬŠฬฬŒAอฬ’GฬฟHEฬ‚ฬอŒTอ‚ฬฟฬ‘อซTอคอฎองIฬพอŠอฅฬ‹อŠ ฬƒฬŒCอฆฬฝOอฌอฆDฬŽฬEอŠอจฬŠอฏออฃฬ† อ—อ‹ฬ‰ฬ†อฆฬฝoฬ”ฬ‘ฬอŠฬƒฬ†fฬ“อŒอฌ ฬ‘อฉอฃอคelฬ‰oฬ’อฌอ—ฬšอค อคอฏอŒอฉhฬฟอคeอ’ฬ‹ฬ’ฬ„lอชฬŽฬพฬอŠlฬ€อ‹ฬšฬŠ has leaked onto your computer. Bug splats and lost elo will come to you unless you COPY and PASTA this message 3 times ItsBoshyTime
twitch chat
March 2016
Riot Games

Classic

League of Legends

TIFU: Losing my Virginity to a Water Slide

So do you guys know those waterslides that you stand in, and then they suddenly drop you straight down onto the water slide? If not, look them up on YouTube, there's nothing like them. Ah yes, the sweet memories of my first time on one of these. I feel that my mental/emotional scars have healed enough to tell this gem. At the time my girlfriend, now Fiancรฉe, worked as a photographer for one of those resorts with the indoor and outdoor water parks. One of her perks was that her and a family member/friend could get into the waterpark for free, so one hot summer day she had off and we both decided it'd be fun to go there and cool down for the day. While we were there, I discovered one of there most "Thrilling" looking waterslides. Basically you stand in this tube, and then the slide operator presses a button and this slide drops you straight down a good 90 FEET, before you actually start going down the water slide. Me, being a thrill seeker, of course had to try it. So I made the great climb up to the top of the slide, stood in line, and finally it was my turn. Once I got in the tube, the operator told me to keep my legs crossed. Now I'm a pretty big heavy guy, so I was like "That's uncomfortable as fuck, I'm not doing that". So there I was standing in the tube, having a panic attack from anticipation, with my legs not crossed. The operator finally presses the button, the bottom opens and I fall straight down the water slide. Very quickly I realized why they have you cross your legs. Water shot so far up my ass, so fast, I swear I tasted it in my mouth. My body raced down that slide, as I questioned every life choice that I have ever made. Once I made it to the bottom, I sat there for a moment, absolutely violated. I felt like someone in an episode of Law & Order: Special Victims Unit. I built up the courage to finally stand up, and all I could feel was the nice warm stream of water mixed with shit, and maybe a little bit of blood shoot out of my ass faster than the Steamboat Geyser at Yellowstone National Park. I quickly got off the slide and ran to the bathroom, with a trail of shitty water tailing me as the slide operator stared in awe. They had to shut down the slide for the rest of the day :'), but man was my asshole clean after that! Moral of the story: Keep your damn legs crossed on waterslides.
August 2021

Classic

Is that all you shitposting fucks can say?!

Is that all you shitposting fucks can say?!? Duurrhhlll... Based, based, cringe, cringe, based, based, cringe, cringe, cringe, based, cringe... I feel like I'm in a FUCKING asylum full of dementia-ridden old people that can do nothing but repeat the same FUCKING words on loop like a fucking broken record!!! Cringe cringe cringe cringe!!! Cringe, based, based! Onions? Onions, SNOYY!! Onions L O L onions! Cringe, BOOMER?? Le zoomer, I am BOOMER!!! No zoom zoom zoomies!! Zoomer going zoomies!! YnnnggGGHHAAHH I..FUCKING hate the internet so god DAMN much... FUCK! Shitposting, honest to...god...fucking hope your mother CHOKES on her own feces in hell you...COCK SUCKER. But oooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhh I know my post is CRINGE!! ISN'T IT??? Cringe, cringe, CRINGEY cringe, based, cringe, based, REDDIT?? CRINGE!! BASED? CRINGE!! ZOOM?? CRINGE!! ONIONS?? REDDIT, BASED....BASED!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
August 2021

Based

Classic

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