[Copypasta] I want to become a walrus

Do you guys mind not spamming the chat so much?

twitchquotes: Do you guys mind not spamming the chat so much? I'm really trying to pay attention to the stream and you guys are distracting me. If you guys really cared about the quality of the stream or [insert streamer name] you would stop the spamming and copying and pasting. God, I swear you guys are the worst part of twitch. Couldn't you just try to be mature for once in your life? Everyday I come here and it's the same thing, a bunch of no life neckbeards ruining this quality content for everyone else..

twitch chat

December 2017

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I hate Twitch Chat

Hello my friend, this is a moderator of PornHub

twitchquotes: Hello my friend, this is a moderator of PornHub™. We have noticed you haven't logged in for 4 weeks, we're just checking to see that everything is okay with our biggest fan. Since you visited us last time we've updated the Gay section with many videos we know you will enjoy. See you soon

twitch chat

January 2019

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KappaPride

Everything points to Amogus

👉🏿👇🏿👇🏿👇🏿👇🏿👇🏿👇🏿👇🏿👇🏿👇🏿👈🏿 👉🏿👇🏾👇🏾👇🏾👇🏾👇🏾👇🏾👇🏾👇🏾👇🏾👈🏿 👉🏿👉🏾👇🏽👇🏽👇🏽👇🏽👇🏽👇🏽👇🏽👈🏾👈🏿 👉🏿👉🏾👉🏽👇🏼👇🏼👇🏼👇🏼👇🏼👈🏽👈🏾👈🏿 👉🏿👉🏾👉🏽👉🏼👇🏻👇🏻👇🏻👈🏼👈🏽👈🏾👈🏿 👉🏿👉🏾👉🏽👉🏼👉🏻 ඞ 👈🏻👈🏼👈🏽👈🏾👈🏿 👉🏿👉🏾👉🏽👉🏼👆🏻👆🏻👆🏻👈🏼👈🏽👈🏾👈🏿 👉🏿👉🏾👉🏽👆🏼👆🏼👆🏼👆🏼👆🏼👈🏽👈🏾👈🏿 👉🏿👉🏾👆🏽👆🏽👆🏽👆🏽👆🏽👆🏽👆🏽👈🏾👈🏿 👉🏿👆🏾👆🏾👆🏾👆🏾👆🏾👆🏾👆🏾👆🏾👆🏾👈🏿 👉🏿👆🏿👆🏿👆🏿👆🏿👆🏿👆🏿👆🏿👆🏿👆🏿👈🏿

ascii art

March 2022

Among Us / Amogus

Classic

Response to "go fuck yourself"

What if I'm already fucking myself? Behind this simple insult hides a universal paradox that may put your sexuality in question. Let's do a simple thought experiment: imagine us two standing in front of each other. I, of course, am wearing a pair of jeans, that are covering my genitals and my butt. You then command me to "go fuck myself". I may be fucking myself already. I may as well not be fucking myself already. Until my dick and its position relative to my ass is observed, it is simultaneously in my ass, but also outside of it - thus, it stays in superposition. The moment you lay eyes on my penis, both states collide with each other and become either one. You may have already guessed what the problem here is. As soon as a single photon reflected by my dick enters either one of your eyes, you become gay. The only way to avoid this is to not observe my penis. But if you don't look at it, then you will never know if your insult had any effect, thus rendering it meaningless. Since you have already made the insult, you are now, too, in superposition - you're either wrong, or gay. It's unfortunate, really - you dug a hole for yourself without even knowing it. All you can do now is accept it, and learn from your mistakes.

April 2020

Classic

My Grandfather smoked his whole life

My Grandfather smoked his whole life. I was about 10 years old when my mother said to him, 'If you ever want to see your grandchildren graduate, you have to stop immediately.'. Tears welled up in his eyes when he realized what exactly was at stake. He gave it up immediately. Three years later he died of lung cancer. It was really sad and destroyed me. My mother said to me- 'Don't ever smoke. Please don't put your family through what your Grandfather put us through." I agreed. At 28, I have never touched a cigarette. I must say, I feel a very slight sense of regret for never having done it, because your post gave me cancer anyway.

March 2021

[Copypasta] I want to become a walrus

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Do you guys mind not spamming the chat so much?

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I hate Twitch Chat

Hello my friend, this is a moderator of PornHub

Classic

KappaPride

Everything points to Amogus

Among Us / Amogus

Classic

Response to "go fuck yourself"

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My Grandfather smoked his whole life

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