[Copypasta] I want to become a walrus

twitchquotes: Hello, I am currently 15 years old and I want to become a walrus. I know there's a million people out there just like me, but I promise you I'm different. On December 14th, I'm moving to Antarctica; home of the greatest walri. I've already cut off my arms, and now slide on my stomach everywhere I go as training. I may not be a walrus yet, but I promise you if you give me a chance and the support I need, I will become the greatest walrus ever. Thank you all.
twitch chat
July 2014

Classic

(β–€ΜΏΔΉΜ―β”œβ”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Classic Copypastas

Le Toucan has arrived

β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–„β–€β–€β–€β–„β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–Œβ–€β–€β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–€β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–„β–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–β–ˆβ–€β–„β–€β–„β–„β–„β–„β–€β–€β–€β–€β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–ˆβ–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–Œβ–„β–„β–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘leβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘toucanβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘hasβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘arrivedβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘
ascii art
January 2015

Classic

In Japan, heart surgeon

Number one. Steady hand. One day, yakuza boss need new heart. I do operation. But mistake! Yakuza boss die! Yakuza very mad! I hide fishing boat, come to America. No English, no food, no money. Darryl give me job. Now I have house, American car and new woman. Darryl save life. My big secret. I kill yakuza boss on purpose. I good surgeon. The best!
April 2021

Classic

What if I put my Minecraft bed next to yours?

twitchquotes: What if I... put my Minecraft bed... 😳 next to yours... 😳 aha ha, just kidding.. πŸ˜‚ unless.. ? 😳
twitch chat
August 2019

Classic

Poop

β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–€β–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–‘β–‘β–‘ ░░░░░░▐▐░░░░░░░░░▄░▐░░░ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–€β–‘β–β–‘β–‘β–‘ ░░░░▄▀░░░░░░░░▐░▄▄▀░░░░ β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–„β–€β–‘β–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–„β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–β–€β–€β–€β–‘β–€β–€β–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–β–ˆβ–β–„β–‘β–‘β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–‘β–ˆβ–„β–„β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–‘β–„TSM▄░░░▐▄▄▄▀░░░
ascii art
June 2016
Riot Games

Classic

League of Legends

NaM octopus

β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ‘Ÿβ£΅β Ÿβ β „β „β „β „β’€β‘€β „β „β ™β’Ύβ’½β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⑿Ⓒ⑏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣢⣿⣿⣇⑀⠄⠄⠩⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⑇⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠠⠭⣿⣿⣿⣯⠭⣄⠄⠄⠄Ⓙ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ‘…β „β „β „β „β „β£β£€β‘˜β Ήβ£Ώβ£β£€β£Όβ‘„β ˆβ „β£Όβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⑀⠄⠄⠄⠰⣿⣿⠃⒨⣏⣻⣿⣿⑇⠄⠄Ⓓ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣢⣦⠄⑄⣿⠛⠄⠠β’₯⠛Ⓙ⣿⑇Ⓖ⣣⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ‘Ώβ££β‘Άβ ¬β‘›β ›β ƒβ ™β ‰β „β‘€β£€β£³β£Άβ’˜β‘‘β ΄β£Ύβ£Άβ‘¦β ¬β‘»β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώ ⠄⠄⣠⑄⠄⠄⣀⣀③⠢⣢⣦⒀⣿⣿Ⓑ⠃⑀⠄⠄⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣄⣀⠄⠄ β „β „β ˆβ ™β »β’Ύβ’Ώβ£¬β£€β£€β£Άβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ’Ώβ£―β£·β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ Ÿβ ›β ‰β ‰β β „β ˆβ ™β’·β‘„ β „β „β „β „β ˆβ „β „β β ˆβ’‰β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£«β£Ώβ£Ώβ‘Ώβ Ώβ Ώβ Ώβ£·β£Άβ£„β’‚β „β „β „β£Όβ ‡ β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β£€β£΄β‘Ώβ Ÿβ’«β£Ώβ‘Ÿβ žβ£Ώβ£Ώβ‘‡β „β „β „β „β ‰β »β£·β£β ›β ›β ‰β „ β „β „β£€β£€β£ β£ β£Ύβ£Ÿβ£‰β£€β£Άβ‘Ώβ ‹β „β „β ˜β’Ώβ£·β£„β£€β£€β£€β‘€β „β ˜β’Ώβ£†β „β „β „ ⒀⣾⠛⒛⑋⠉⠉⠉⠋⠉⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠻Ⓑ⣾⑉⠄⠄⠄ β ˜β’Ώβ£€β‘Ÿβ β „β β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β‘΄β „β β’»β£·β „β „β „ β’β’€β Ÿβ ’β ˜β β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β’³β£„β£ β‘Ύβ ƒβ „β „β „ β ˆβ β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β ˆβ ‰β „β „β „β „β „
ascii art
July 2019

Classic

More Classic Copypastas
Text-to-Speech Playing