[Copypasta] I hate Stuart Little

twitchquotes: I fucking hate Stuart Little. I know what you're thinking, this is some kind of funny joke, but no, Stuart Little is a piece of shit. A god damn rat got picked over actual children at an orphanage and he's supposed to be a hero? And I can't even tell you how many damn times I've seen a great parking space only to turn the corner and realise Stuart Little is already parked there in his stupid little fucking convertible.
twitch chat
May 2019
I used to be a real ad
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Quibi is shutting down

twitchquotes: Quibi is shutting down. Whatā€™s the fuckin point anymore? Now what am I supposed to do when I go to a restaurant and they tell me my table wonā€™t be ready for another eight minutes? How am I supposed to pass those eight minutes using a cell phone and internet connection without quibi exclusive content only available on quibi? Where else can i get ā€œquick bitesā€ of content streaming directly to my mobile phone for viewing on the go? As if 2020 wasnā€™t bad enough now I canā€™t watch any more murder house flip, the show where they renovate houses where human beings have lost their lives at the hands of their loved ones and sell those houses to rich cosmopolitan couples looking to move out of the city? Whatā€™s the point? I for one am not ā€œcontentā€ with the current state of the ā€œcontentā€
twitch chat
October 2020

Todd Howard Fallout 76 announcement

twitchquotes: Hey, gamers. It's me, Todd Howard with an important announcement. Fallout 76 was all an early April Fools' joke. To help us release the REAL game, Fallout: New Vegas 2, all I need is your credit card number, the expiration month and year, and the three digits on the back.
twitch chat
November 2018

As Jeff Kaplan stares at me through my computer screen

twitchquotes: As Jeff Kaplan stares at me through my computer screen, I begin to contemplate reality. What truly has substance in this realm of technology, avarice and sin? What is our future, if not a blank, hollow nothing, rife with silence and strife? PogChamp
twitch chat
January 2018

Overwatch

No, you are not a ā€œMan of Cultureā€

No, you are not a ā€œMan of Cultureā€. You are a 19 year old who has no romantic partner because you have a chronic addiction to anime porn where the characters dont look or sound any older than 13, seriously, the stuff you are watching should be illegal. Getting off to fictional drawings of ambiguous age THREE times a day is not even remotely cultured, it just makes you a sex-addicted pedophile. Whatā€™s gotten into you? Youā€™re better than this.
August 2021

What if I put my Minecraft bed next to yours?

twitchquotes: What if I... put my Minecraft bed... šŸ˜³ next to yours... šŸ˜³ aha ha, just kidding.. šŸ˜‚ unless.. ? šŸ˜³
twitch chat
August 2019

Classic

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