[Copypasta] Ahoy matey, I bring ye much love

twitchquotes: (◕‿X✿) Ahoy matey, I bring ye much love. Y'arr be beautiful inside and out, and ye best know that ye matter so much and everythin' ya do plunders my booty in an amazin' way YARHARHAR. (◕‿X✿)
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May 2019
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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Holy shit! You identify as an attack helicopter?

Holy shit! You identify as an attack helicopter? I’ve never heard that joke before, but it’s so genius! You sir, or madame, or helicopter, are the absolute most hilarious and original person I have ever seen in my entire life. Move over, Jerry Seinfeld. Get lost, Brian Regan. Out of the way, Family Guy Funny Moments Compilation #53. There’s a new funniest man in town. Holy shit, I just can’t get over this joke. I’m giggling and guffawing harder than ever before. You should win an Oscar and an Emmy and a Grammy and a Nickelodeon Kid’s Choice Award. Attack helicopter gender! Wow! So funny! Take that, liberals! Haha. Every night since I was born I have looked up to the plastic glow-in-the-dark stars on my ceiling and wondered, “I hope one day I can be as funny as the attack helicopter gender guy.” I will tell my children, and my children’s children, all about the absolute hilarity that went down just now. You just broke the Guinness World Record for funniest and most original jokester on the planet. I’m fucking simultaneously shitting and cumming because this joke is just so funny. Holy shit. That was an amazing joke, my guy. I’m gonna make a subreddit dedicated entirely to this one joke. It’s gonna get thousands of members! History books will forever remember the time you said, “I identify as an attack helicopter.” It’ll go right there in the important quote book, right between Patrick Henry and Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. I just can’t believe I was here to witness such grandeur. I was here! I think I’m going to make a whole religion based on worshipping you, my glorious and hilarious attack helicopter God. This is just so funny I can’t believe it! Hahahahahahahahahaha! I think I’m going to go to the hospital and fucking die from laughing to hard, but that’s okay! This is even funnier than that guy who said he identified as a toaster! Can you believe it? I never thought that very different joke could be topped, but here we are! Did I mention how funny and original that joke was? Ah, well done, sir, or madame, or helicopter. This is an experience I won’t forget any time soon. Ha. Haha. Ha. Lol. Lmao. Haha. Jajaja. Lmfao. Rofl, rotfl, ha.
June 2021

The Tomato Town Incident

At around 10:00 AM on the morning of December 18th, 2018, in what was widely believed to be an act of government-sponsored ethnic cleansing, two armed militia men were seen parachuting from a military plane into the vicinity of Tomato Town. Upon landing the two quickly unholstered assault rifles and entered the local pizzeria where a massacre of unarmed civilians unfolded as they kept shouting, "Get Down! Get Down!". Improvised explosives were then detonated at the site of the crime to obscure the victim's identities. The local police chief spotted the assailants as they were exiting the diner and shot one in the back before he was quickly revived by his accomplice as they boarded a "technical" pickup truck and headed southbound. The two militiamen were outnumbered but gave chase before being cornered in the streets of the nearby district of Pleasant Park where a shootout occurred with the police. The two assailants were seen chugging jugs of alcohol before getting back into the pickup truck and heading towards Moist Mire where the police lost them, deliberately detouring around Loot Lake as a local source had tipped them off to the stationing of UN peacekeeping forces in the area. 10 bodies were later discovered in the rubble of the Pizzeria's board room. Not long after the assailants left the area, a purple cloud believed to be an experimental chemical agent developed by the government swept the area, resulting in death by suffocation, making the town uninhabitable and turning the survivors of the massacre into refugees. Military contractors hired by the government bulldozed what was left of Tomato Town including the ruins of the Pizzeria as well as the memorial site for the victims and redeveloped it into a religious site/tourist attraction for the dominant religion of the country known as "Tomato Temple". To this day the government denies the massacre and subsequent chemical weapons attack despite multiple Human Rights agencies releasing interviews with the survivors and even one of the assailants coming forward with a testimony of guilt uploaded to social media after a UN Geneva Convention Probe confirmed the use of banned chemical agents.
March 2021

Fortnite

Pepe / Feels Bad Man

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October 2016

Pepe

Super Meat Boy

⣿⣿⣿⠿⠟⠛⠛⣉⢉⣉⣉⣤⣬⣥⣤⣤⣤⣤⣬⣭⣈⣉⡙⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⢠⣶⣶⣿⣿⢫⢷⢋⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠀⣿⣿⠟⡛⠛⠳⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢋⡤⠀⠉⢿⣿⡇⠿⠛⠛⢿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡀⣿⣏⠈⣁⢤⣠⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠄⣸⣿⡇⠀⣾⣿⣘⠛⢿ ⣿⣿⠇⣿⣧⡽⠟⣛⣛⣛⣛⠛⢛⡛⣛⣛⣛⣛⢛⡛⠿⣿⣿⣶⣷⣿⢻⣿⣇⠸ ⣿⠃⣼⣿⣿⣧⡠⣍⣿⣿⣧⣤⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣩⡅⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⣾⣿⡟⢰ ⠇⣼⣿⢻⣿⣿⣿⣶⣭⣝⣙⣻⠻⠻⠛⠿⣟⣉⣭⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⣋⣬⣤⣾ ⣇⠻⣿⢺⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣷⣬⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⢠⣤⣤⣤⡄⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣦⣉⣛⣛⠛⣛⣉⣁⣼⣿⣿⣿⣷⣌⡛⠛⠛⠛⢛⣋⣤⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
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September 2020

Pepechrist emote

⠄⢀⣀⣤⣴⣶⣶⣤⣄⡀⠄⠄⣀⣤⣤⣤⣤⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣴⣏⣹⣿⠿⠿⠿⠿⢿⣿⣄⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣋⣷⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⢟⣩⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣶⣮⣭⡂⢛⣭⣭⣭⣭⣭⣍⣛⣂⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢟⣫⣭⣷⣶⣾⣭⣼⡻⢛⣛⣭⣭⣶⣶⣬⣭⣅⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⡿⢏⣵⣾⣿⣿⣿⡿⢉⡉⠙⢿⣇⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠉⠉⢻⡷⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⣷⣾⣍⣛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣤⣁⣤⣿⢏⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣬⣥⣾⠁⣿⣿⣷⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣭⣕⣒⠿⠭⠭⠭⡷⢖⣫⣶⣶⣬⣭⣭⣭⣭⣥⡶⢣⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣟⣛⣭⣾⣿⣿⣿⣝⡛⣿⢟⣛⣛⣁⣀⣸⣿⣿⣿⣀⣀⣀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⡿⢛⣛⣛⣛⣙⣛⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣬⣭⣭⠽⣛⢻⣿⣿⣿⠛⠛⠛ ⣿⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⣛⣛⣶⠶⠶⠶⣦⣭⣭⣭⣭⣶⡶⠶⣾⠟⢸⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄ ⡻⢮⣭⣭⣭⣭⣉⣛⣛⡻⠿⠿⠷⠶⠶⠶⠶⣶⣶⣾⣿⠟⢣⣬⣛⡻⢱⣇⠄⠄ ⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⠶⠒⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⢟⣫⡥⡆⠄⠄ ⢭⣭⣝⣛⣛⣛⣛⣛⣛⣛⣿⣿⡿⢛⣋⡉⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⢸⣿⣧⡅⠄⠄ ⣶⣶⣶⣭⣭⣭⣭⣭⣭⣵⣶⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣦⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠡⣿⣿⡯⠁⠄⠄
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November 2019

Pepe

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