[Copypasta] How is depression real?

twitchquotes: HahHaHahAhHAHA How the fuck is depression real? Just be happy 4Head
twitch chat
May 2019
I used to be a real ad
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Doge

โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–Œ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–โ–“โ–‘โ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ–„โ–“โ–โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–โ–“โ–“โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ–„โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–Œโ–€โ–„โ–“โ–“โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–„โ–“โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–€โ–‘โ–“โ–Œโ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–„โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–“โ–โ–ˆโ–Œ โ–‘โ–ˆโ–Œโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–€โ–€โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–„โ–€โ–“โ–“โ–โ–ˆ โ–โ–ˆโ–โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–โ–‘โ–„โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–€โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ–ˆโ–Œ โ–ˆโ–Œโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–„โ–€โ–โ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–โ–ˆโ–“โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–โ–ˆโ–Œ โ–“โ–„โ–Œโ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–โ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ–ˆ
ascii art
November 2014

Masturbation Notice from school

MASTURBATION NOTICE It has come to our attention that students have been masturbating in the school bathrooms. Masturbating on school property is ILLEGAL and against school district policy The bathroom pipes are NOT designed to handle human discharge or anything other than your regular bathroom duties The excessive amounts of discharge build-up has caused a blockage in the pipes. Multiple pipes have become close to bursting due to the amount of excessive semen build-up. This will cost THOUSANDS of dollars coming from our funds to repair the damage caused by this Please masturbate in your own homes and at your own disposal If any discharge is discovered in the bathroom, it will be collected and analyzed to determine who it belongs to. If it is discovered that the discharge is yours, YOU will be fine $ 1,000 and be reported to proper authorities Thank you for your cooperation
March 2022

mattress/furniture stores exist in a quantum superposition

I'm convinced that mattress/furniture stores exist in a quantum superposition of grand opening and going out of business sale. It is both and neither at once until an observer records the state at which point it becomes one or the other. But because you know exactly where the store is located, you cannot know how fast it is going out of business because of your uncertainty about its business momentum. All around us, all the time pairs of anti-discount mattress stores and discount mattress stores are popping into existence, forming the quantum memory foam that is the basis for the universe. Without the pressure of this quantum memory foam strip malls would collapse. We can see evidence of this when a pair is created such that one half is within the sales radius of a supermassive furniture store like Ikea-- one of them is pulled in and the other escapes as a Hawking mattress store.
December 2020

Sneaky can you please try to win more games

twitchquotes: Sadge Sneaky can you please try to win more games. I told my friends to check out this amazing streamer and they are all watching today and making fun of me because I'm watching an one win streamer. I'm feeling so ashamed right now but still believe in you! Please prove them wrong
twitch chat
August 2020
Sneaky

Based on fucking what? BASED ON FUCKING WHAT?

Based on fucking what? BASED ON FUCKING WHAT? You fucking cunt, you motherfucker. All I read is "based based based cringe cringe based", can't you fucking come up with anything else? It feels as if I'm talking to people with fucking dementia or something and they keep repeating the same fucking words on loop. BASED ON FUCKING WHAT??? THE BIBLE? THE OXFORD DICTIONARY? MY HAIRY ASSHOLE? OH my God just shut the fuck up it's like you can't form a coherent sentence without using one of these saturated, retarded words that lost all meaning overtime. "BASED BASED BASED CRINGE CRINGE WOKE REDPILL CRINGE WOKE GO FUCK YOURSELF YOU LITTLE BITCH YOU CUNT YOU FUCking asshole you bitch you cunt little shit Based? Based on what? On your dick? Please shut the fuck up and use words properly you fuckin troglodyte, do you think God gave us a freedom of speech just to spew random words that have no meaning that doesn't even correlate to the topic of the conversation? Like please you always complain about why no one talks to you or no one expresses their opinions on you because you're always spewing random shit like poggers based cringe and when you try to explain what it is and you just say that it's funny like what? What the fuck is funny about that do you think you'll just become a stand-up comedian that will get a standing ovation just because you said "cum" on the stage? HELL NO YOU FUCKIN IDIOT, so please shut the fuck up and use words properly you dumb bitch
December 2021

Based

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