twitchquotes:
HahHaHahAhHAHA How the fuck is depression real? Just be happy 
twitch chat
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
If you're a grown-ass man and you still wipe your ass, you're not a real man.
This should be self-explanatory but apparently, I have to justify myself.
There's nothing more feminine than using a product on your body. Makeup is 100% feminine and by the same logic, so is wiping your ass. I haven't wiped my ass in about 4 years, and I've NEVER had any issues. My digestive system is in the top 1% in terms of regularity, functionality, and performance, and I've never once felt the need to "clean up" after myself.
If you shit, and you need to wipe, you've got an emasculated GI tract and that's your own issue. Man up and get your shit (literally) together.
Mythological Topdecking Skills
twitchquotes:
Eᴜʀᴇᴋᴀ, Kʀɪᴘᴘᴀʀɪᴀɴ! I ᴀᴍ Pᴇʀɪᴋʟᴇs Tᴇsᴛɪᴋʟᴇs, Rᴀɴɪᴀ's ғᴀᴛʜᴇʀ. Wᴇ ᴀʀᴇ so ʜᴀᴘᴘʏ sʜᴇ ʜᴀs ғɪɴᴀʟʟʏ ғoᴜɴᴅ ᴀ ʙᴇᴀʀᴅᴇᴅ ᴍᴀɴ wɪᴛʜ ᴍʏᴛʜoʟoɢɪcᴀʟ ᴛoᴘᴅᴇcᴋɪɴɢ sᴋɪʟʟs ᴀɴᴅ ᴀ sɪᴢᴀʙʟᴇ ᴍoᴜɴᴛᴀɪɴ ɢɪᴀɴᴛ! Kᴜᴅos ᴛo ʏoᴜ ᴀɴᴅ ᴘʟs ɴo ᴀɴɢʀʏ cʜɪcᴋᴇɴ ᴛᴇᴛʀᴀᴢᴢɪɴo.
twitch chat
Kripp
Let's get one thing about me "straight" up-front
twitchquotes:
Let's get one thing about me "straight" up-front. When it comes to sexuality, I'm about as hetero as they come. If a gay guy came on to me, I'd be like, "No way, bro. I'm a straight-up party boy who's into chicks." Yup, one gay dude wouldn't stand a chance. It would take at least four or five gay guys strapping me down to make it inside me. Sorry, fellas, that's just how straight I am. And even then I wouldn't make it easy. I'd be like, "Hey look! There goes George Michael!" And they'd all shriek "Where?!" at once, and I'd make a break for it, and they'd be like, "He's getting away! Chase him! I want his butt!" But I wouldn't just give them my butt. They'd have to take it. And once they got me strapped down, I'd stop fighting it because that would be giving them what they want. And I don't want them to enjoy it. If anyone's going to enjoy it, it's going to be me. So, I'd just relax into it and taunt them by telling them how ripped and sexy I find them and letting them know how much I'm enjoying myself. So, even though I'd have a bunch of ripped guys all taking turns on my butt, I'd still be enjoying it. But only because I forced myself to. It's not like I could fight these guys off. There are too many of them and they want me too much. What am I, Chuck Norris?" I'm not against homosexuality, though. I say to each his own. You're free to do whatever you want.
twitch chat
KappaPride
I'm not gay but I want to live with Kanye West
I want to live in a log cabin in the woods with Kanye. We won't ever have sex, but there will be a simmering erotic undercurrent as I stand in the kitchen window watching him tighten his ass as he chops wood, shirtless, sweat pouring off his body. I'll run upstairs and masturbate, the entire time forcing myself to think of women while my thoughts drift back to Kanye. I won't be able to climax and I'll eventually go back downstairs, angry. Sometimes we will look across the table and catch each other's eyes, and in that second, anything is possible, but we both deny ourselves and go back to what we were doing. One day one of us will die, and the other will bury him outside the log cabin. Then they'll go inside, pen a brief missive to their departed friend, and commit suicide, never able to deal with life without their one true platonic love.
Kanye West
The Bola
twitchquotes:
QT this is your Dr. It seems your subs have all gotten not only "The Bola" but also type 2 diabetes. I believe it is the combination of missed arrows and you to wanting become a pizza. Stop before you also get The Bola.
twitch chat
imaqtpie