[Copypasta] I've achieved so much that you'll never come close to

twitchquotes: I've achieved so much that you'll never come close to. Your life is fucking empty, which is why you're relishing this little bit of attention you're getting from someone. You spent an evening tweeting inane opinions and reactions into the void. Let me know when reality kicks in.
twitch chat
May 2019
Found on Twitter: https://twitter.com/RLewisReports/status/1122723573221560320
(ā–€ĢæĹĢÆā”œā”¬ā”“ā”¬ā”“ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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Hello Kripp, this is Juan Jose Manuel Torres Esteban Rodriguez Ochoa Martinez Lopez Jr

twitchquotes: Š½ello ÄørĪ¹pp, jĻ…an joŃ•Ć© Š¼anĻ…el тorreѕ eѕтeŠ²an rodrĪ¹gĻ…ez ocŠ½oa Š¼arтĪ¹nez lopez jr. Š½ere. Ī¹ no lĪ¹Äøe yoĻ…r cŠ½aт. pleaѕe Ņ“rĪ¹endѕ, no Š¼ore ѕpaŠ¼Š¼erĪ¹no Ī¹n cŠ½aтerĪ¹no oÄø aŠ¼Ī¹go? or elѕe Ī¹ Š½op Š²orderĪ¹no. no cappĻ…ccĪ¹no.
twitch chat
July 2014
Kripp

The year is 2035, you buy g fuel with doge coin

The year is 2035, you enter your local 7/11 to buy yourself a g fuel before your shift in the local crypto mine. The android working the counter says they only accept doge coin. You pull out your phone, draw a stick man in less than five seconds on a yellow back ground and then sell it as an NFT. From the sell you make 6 doge coin, about 5 million dollars in old world money. You go to buy the drink only to find out that from the time you closed your phone to the time you talked to the cashier the coins had dropped in value to only 3 dollars per coin and you now owe at least 10 doge coin to the robot for the gamer fuel. You leave the store, frustrated, and drive off in your Tesla
December 2021

Cryptocurrency

I sexually idenfity as the Boogeymonster

twitchquotes: I sexually identify as The Boogeymonster. Ever since I pre-ordered 50 packs the only card I dreamed of pulling was The Boogeymonster to put it in my deck, play it on turn 8, and watch it grow. Watch it get out of control as it feasts on every puny creature my horrified opponent dares to lay on the board. I can already hear The Boogeymonster's attack sound as it swings in for a 30 damage lethal. If you can't accept this you're a boogeyphobe and you need to check your legendary privilege.
twitch chat
June 2016
Kripp

Hearthstone

I sexually Identify as

How come we can't ever invade a cool country (Generation Kill)

Look at this shit, how come we can't ever invade a cool country, like chicks in bikinis, you know, how come countries like that don't ever need Marines, I'll tell you why, it's lack of pussy that fucks countries up, lack of pussy is the root fucking cause of all global instability, if more hajis were getting quality pussy, there'd be no reason for us to come over and fuck em up like this, cause a nutbusting haji, is a happy haji.
March 2021

I fucking hate Stuart Little

twitchquotes: I fucking hate Stuart Little. I know what youā€™re thinking, this is some kind of funny joke, but no. Stuart Little is a piece of shit. A damn rat got picked over actual children at an orphanage and heā€™s supposed to be a hero? And I canā€™t even tell you how many damn times Iā€™ve seen a great parking space only to turn the corner and realise Stuart Little is already parked there in his stupid little fucking convertible. He took my wife and the kids and my house and my job. I swear to fucking god, Iā€™m going to kill myself and take that goddamn rodent to hell with me. Stuart Little has ruined my family. Last summer, I approached the miserable mouse in the street, and asked him for his autograph, because my son is a huge fan. The fucking rat gave me the autograph and told me to burn in hell. Later, when I gave my son the autograph he started crying and said he hated me. Turns out the mousefucker didnt write his autograph, no, he wrote ā€œyouā€™re a piece of shit, and i fucked your momā€. Iā€™m now divorced, and planning a huge class-action lawsuit against the white devil that ruined my life. Your time is almost over, Stuart. All the people youā€™ve wronged will rise against you.
twitch chat
May 2020
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