[Copypasta] Noobmaster, hey it’s Thor again

twitchquotes: Noobmaster, hey it’s Thor again. You know, the god of thunder? Listen buddy, if you don’t log off this game immediately I will fly over to your house, and come down to that basement you’re hiding in and rip off your arms and shove them up your butt! Oh, that’s right, yea just go cry to your father you little weasel.
twitch chat
April 2019
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Police clearing out a homeless encampment

On my way into the office today I saw the police clearing out a homeless encampment under a bridge, forcing them into the cold and rain. I keep playing it over in my head and haven’t been able to focus on work all day because of my erection.
January 2021

WallStreetBets

My boss recently discovered Among Us

Oh my fucking god guys I am fucking fuming. So the other day at work my boss told us that he recently discovered the video game Among Us, and ever since, his behaviour has become rather concerning. He now refers to me and my coworkers as 'crewmates'. Last Wednesday, when he noticed my teenage colleague slacking off at his workstation, he yelled at him saying he was "faking his tasks" and is "acting sus". I confronted my boss telling him that his behaviour lately has been egregious and immature, and he proceeded to call me an idiot and yelled "kicked!" The next day I caught him dancing around in his office blasting "among drip" from his desktop at full volume. I entered his office to kindly ask him to turn off the music since it was distracting to me and my coworkers. He looked at me angrily, telling me he has called an "emergency meeting", instructing me to have a seat. I asked him what was the matter and he told me that I have been acting extremely "sus". He repeatedly yelled "you're the impostor", telling me to say goodbye to my job because I have been "ejected". I fucking lost my job and I don't know what to do. Please help me Reddit! I have nowhere else to turn.
March 2021

Among Us / Amogus

Scary face

░░░░▄███▓███████▓▓▓░░░░ ░░░███░░░▒▒▒██████▓▓░░░ ░░██░░░░░░▒▒▒██████▓▓░░ ░██▄▄▄▄░░░▄▄▄▄█████▓▓░░ ░██░(◐)░░░▒(◐)▒███████▓▓░ ░██░░░░░░░▒▒▒▒▒█████▓▓░ ░██░░░▀▄▄▀▒▒▒▒▒█████▓▓░ ░█░███▄█▄█▄███░█▒████▓▓░ ░█░███▀█▀█▀█░█▀▀▒█████▓░ ░█░▀▄█▄█▄█▄▀▒▒▒▒█████▓░ ░████░░░░░░▒▓▓███████▓░ ░▓███▒▄▄▄▄▒▒▒▒████████░ ░▓▓██▒▓███████████████░
November 2014

Gaping Butthole OmegaLUL

July 2022

This new spam is too spicy for this casual chat

twitchquotes: tbSpicy THIS tbSpicy NEW tbSpicy SPAM tbSpicy IS tbSpicy TOO tbSpicy SPICY tbSpicy FOR tbSpicy tbSpicy THIS tbSpicy CASUAL tbSpicy CHAT tbSpicy DONT tbSpicy YOU tbSpicy DARE tbSpicy COPY tbSpicy IT tbSpicy
twitch chat
September 2015
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing