[Copypasta] Noobmaster, hey it’s Thor again

twitchquotes: Noobmaster, hey it’s Thor again. You know, the god of thunder? Listen buddy, if you don’t log off this game immediately I will fly over to your house, and come down to that basement you’re hiding in and rip off your arms and shove them up your butt! Oh, that’s right, yea just go cry to your father you little weasel.
twitch chat
April 2019
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Oh so I’m a simp?

twitchquotes: Oh so I’m a simp? Complimenting women on Twitter makes me a simp? Supporting woman with a $99.99 subscription to her onlyfans makes me a simp? Visiting her and getting arrested makes me a simp? You’re right. It does make me a simp. (S)uper (I)ncredible (M)an (P)
twitch chat
April 2020

Simps

pressing ctrl-c ctrl-v every 2 seconds as a hobby

I don't get it either. I work on projects while I have the stream on and I absolutely cannot fathom standing in front of the stream and pressing ctrl-c ctrl-v every 2 seconds as a hobby. Like it triggers me just how much of a waste of your life it is.
December 2020

The Tomato Town Incident

At around 10:00 AM on the morning of December 18th, 2018, in what was widely believed to be an act of government-sponsored ethnic cleansing, two armed militia men were seen parachuting from a military plane into the vicinity of Tomato Town. Upon landing the two quickly unholstered assault rifles and entered the local pizzeria where a massacre of unarmed civilians unfolded as they kept shouting, "Get Down! Get Down!". Improvised explosives were then detonated at the site of the crime to obscure the victim's identities. The local police chief spotted the assailants as they were exiting the diner and shot one in the back before he was quickly revived by his accomplice as they boarded a "technical" pickup truck and headed southbound. The two militiamen were outnumbered but gave chase before being cornered in the streets of the nearby district of Pleasant Park where a shootout occurred with the police. The two assailants were seen chugging jugs of alcohol before getting back into the pickup truck and heading towards Moist Mire where the police lost them, deliberately detouring around Loot Lake as a local source had tipped them off to the stationing of UN peacekeeping forces in the area. 10 bodies were later discovered in the rubble of the Pizzeria's board room. Not long after the assailants left the area, a purple cloud believed to be an experimental chemical agent developed by the government swept the area, resulting in death by suffocation, making the town uninhabitable and turning the survivors of the massacre into refugees. Military contractors hired by the government bulldozed what was left of Tomato Town including the ruins of the Pizzeria as well as the memorial site for the victims and redeveloped it into a religious site/tourist attraction for the dominant religion of the country known as "Tomato Temple". To this day the government denies the massacre and subsequent chemical weapons attack despite multiple Human Rights agencies releasing interviews with the survivors and even one of the assailants coming forward with a testimony of guilt uploaded to social media after a UN Geneva Convention Probe confirmed the use of banned chemical agents.
March 2021

Fortnite

Hey Kripp this is your new fan Edward!

twitchquotes: Hey Kripp this is your new fan Edward! I've never heard of you before but I just finished watching your HILARIOUS #FAIL video and I can safely say that it was one of the funniest and most erotic videos I have ever masturbated to in my time. Please keep making them so that my left arm will continue to grow stronger every day also BTW I am left handed
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Among Us player was ejected

twitchquotes: . 　。　　　　•　 　ﾟ　　。 　　.　　　.　　　 　　.　　　　　。　　 。　. 　.　　 。　 ඞ 。　 . • . [Enter name] was ejected. . . 　 。　. 　 　　。　　　　　　ﾟ　　　.　　　　　. ,　　　　.　 .　　 .
twitch chat
September 2020

Among Us / Amogus

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