[Copypasta] Noobmaster, hey it’s Thor again

twitchquotes: Noobmaster, hey it’s Thor again. You know, the god of thunder? Listen buddy, if you don’t log off this game immediately I will fly over to your house, and come down to that basement you’re hiding in and rip off your arms and shove them up your butt! Oh, that’s right, yea just go cry to your father you little weasel.
twitch chat
April 2019
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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I miss Julio the donkey

twitchquotes: Hello, my name its Juan Pastas Copyrino. Sorry my england. Last week donkey Julio died outside of the house. I loved Julio. Every day we ride to work together. I also spoke donkey language better than my england. Julio and me always talked for hours about business and the political situation here. But now Julio is in donkey heaven. I miss him
twitch chat
August 2015
Kripp

Alien through telescope

twitchquotes: AlienPls ⠀ ﾟ⠀*⠀ ｡⠀ ⠀ﾟ⠀｡ ⠀ ⠀⠀ ☆⠀ ⠀★⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ･ﾟ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ★⠀ ｡･⠀⠀⠀ﾟ⠀⠀｡⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀ ★⠀ ⠀ ･･⠀⠀ ⠀ ∴⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ﾟ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ *⠀ﾟ⠀⠀⠀★⠀⠀⠀ ｡･⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀I CANT BELIEVE MY EYES 🔭 OMEGALUL 󠀀 󠀀
twitch chat
October 2021

Petition to fly Kripp down to Houston

twitchquotes: I am starting a petition to fly Kripp down to Houston to aid in the Hurricane Harvey relief effort. The unprecedented levels of PJSalt that spew from his mouth will reduce the water levels by at least 75%. One copy pasterino = 1 prayer BlessRNG
twitch chat
September 2017
Kripp

The unluckiest human ever

twitchquotes: BREAKING NEWS - Canadian scientists have discovered what they are calling "the unluckiest human ever". The unfortunate individual, a scraggly, foul-smelling, unkempt Canadian man, discovered this condition by badly playing a digital children's card game. "It's literally unbelievable, dude", the man told scientists. "I play every game perfectly, but my opponents just keep topdecking me!" The man continued to whine incessantly until, unfortunately, he dropped dead of a salt overdose.
twitch chat
June 2016
Kripp

Comedy God has entered the building: Attack Helicopter

I Sexually Identify as an Attack Helicopter WEE WOO WEE WOO ALERT! COMEDY GOD HAS ENTERED THE BUILDING! GET TO COVER! steps on stage Bystander: "Oh god! Don't do it! I have a family!" Comedy God: "Heh..." adjusts fedora the building is filled with fear and anticipation God and Jesus himself looks on in suspense comedy god clears throat everything is completely quiet not a single sound is heard world leaders look and wait with dread everything in the world stops nothing is happening comedy god smirks no one is prepared for what is going to happen comedy god musters all of this power he bellows out to the world "ATTACK" absolute suspense everyone is filled with overwhelming dread "HELICOPTER" all at once, absolute pandemonium commences all nuclear powers launch their nukes at once giant brawls start 43 wars are declared simultaneously a shockwave travels around the earth earth is driven into chaos humanity is regressed back to the stone age the pure funny of that joke destroyed civilization itself all the while people are laughing harder than they ever did people who aren't killed die from laughter literally the funniest joke in the world then the comedy god himself posts his creation to reddit and gets karma
August 2021

Classic

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