[Copypasta] Noobmaster, hey it’s Thor again

twitchquotes: Noobmaster, hey it’s Thor again. You know, the god of thunder? Listen buddy, if you don’t log off this game immediately I will fly over to your house, and come down to that basement you’re hiding in and rip off your arms and shove them up your butt! Oh, that’s right, yea just go cry to your father you little weasel.
twitch chat
April 2019
I used to be a real ad
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I am a concerned mother with a 13 year old child (among us)

I am a concerned mother with a 13 year old child and I am here to seek help regarding my son. Last week when we went to the supermarket, my son pointed to a red trash can and started jumping around screaming “THAT’S AMONG US! THAT TRASH CAN IS SUS! RED IS THE IMPOSTOR!” As soon as he did that, the manager told us to leave. I told him that my son is just excited about something, and apologised. But the manager still told us to leave so I picked up the red trash can that my son was going crazy over and threw it on the managers head. Then my son shouted “DEAD BODY REPORTED.” Can someone please tell me what on earth is wrong with him?
February 2021

Among Us / Amogus

You have been warned!

twitchquotes: Excuse me but how dare you guys do this to me? Last week i wrote a beautiful story here on twitch chat and people just started stealing it and posting it as their own. If this continues i'll be forced to take action. You have been warned!
twitch chat
August 2018

I hate Twitch Chat

Boobs 2

ascii art
March 2021

NSFW

Reynad's mother messages Reynad

twitchquotes: Greeting Andrey, this is your Mother. I heard earlier that you "maybe" 420 blaze it. I am very concerned. I dont like that Jeffery boy and I dont think you should hang out with him anymore. I hope the rest of you concerned mothers in twitch chat will copy paste this so my son will see..
twitch chat
July 2016
Reynad

Classic

I fucking hate gaming laptops

I fucking hate gaming laptops. Today when I walked into my economics class I saw something I dread every time I close my eyes. Someone had brought their new gaming laptop to class. The Forklift he used to bring it was still running idle at the back. I started sweating as I sat down and gazed over at the 700lb beast that was his laptop. He had already reinforced his desk with steel support beams and was in the process of finding an outlet for a power cable thicker than Amy Schumer's thigh. I start shaking. I keep telling myself I'm going to be alright and that there's nothing to worry about. He somehow finds a fucking outlet. Tears are running down my cheeks as I send my last texts to my family saying I love them. The teacher starts the lecture, and the student turns his laptop on. The colored lights on his RGB Backlit keyboard flare to life like a nuclear flash, and a deep humming fills my ears and shakes my very soul. The entire city power grid goes dark. The classroom begins to shake as the massive fans begin to spin. In mere seconds my world has gone from vibrant life, to a dark, earth shattering void where my body is getting torn apart by the 150mph gale force winds and the 500 decibel groan of the cooling fans. As my body finally surrenders, I weep, as my school and my city go under. I fucking hate gaming laptops.
January 2022
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