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I used to be a real ad
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Cathie Wood owns 100% of palantir and 110% of Tesla
December 2021. Cathie Wood owns 100% of palantir and 110% of Tesla (Elon Musk invented a more efficient form of security). ARK ETFs are trading at minimum $1,000 a share and investors are signing 10-year pledges just for the privilege. I log on to my Tesla taxi app and order a car. A vintage Roadster pulls up with EDM playing at a tasteful volume.
"Where to, King?" asks the anime girl on the console. "You know where", I reply. Palantir knows.
We both laugh and the car takes off to Wendys.
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I want to fuck the Samsung girl
Oh my fucking god I want to fuck the Samsung Virtual assistant so fucking bad, every waking second of my fucking life since the release of that fucking ad Iāve done nothing but think about her. I canāt go for more that 2 seconds without getting an erection the size of the Burj Khalifa and ejaculating at Mach 12. Iāve ejaculated so many times to simply the thought of her existence that my cock is no longer cumming sperm but literal fucking blood. I canāt stoping thinking about her even after passing out from the pain of cumming blood. I canāt complete nearly any daily tasks because my mind is continuously invaded by her perfection, I canāt live every day of my life thinking about angelic voice screaming in luscious pain about the new Samsung data plan while I fuck her perfect 3D modeled asshole. My personal hell will only get worse in a matter of hours as I will scavenge every corner of the internet in search of her rule 34 and my continuous stream of blood cum will only get worse as Iāll spend days, weeks, possibly months jacking off to her non-stop for any reason other than to shit, piss and eat. Simply at this point alone in writing this Iāve lost 2-3 liters of blood alone with just the simple thought of her existence. If this is how I die then I wouldnāt want it any other way.
Iām struggling to accept religious people as human (/r/atheism parody)
This has been growing in me for a while, but the more I see whatās going on in africa and the middle east, and all the bullshit around the world in the name of religion, Iāve gotten to a point where Iām looking at all religious people as not even human. I donāt know if I quite see them as livestock or wild animals or whatever, but itās pretty close to it. I still donāt understand why people say to respect other peopleās religious beliefs. I certainly donāt. I actually think religious beliefs should be mocked, ripped apart, criticized relentlessly, and actually probably be made illegal. I hope to see a future where believers are looked at as mentally ill and mentally retarded, who need to be locked up and treated, or sent to jail. Iām just so disgusted by all of them.
Dear Chat, in 1967 there was a little girl named Morgana
Kripp's the best arena player in the world
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All you idiots pretend like Kripp misplays, but really you know he's the best arena player in the world and that he hasn't made a misplay in the last 6 months, he just gets super unlucky you ignorant fools. You guys are so dumb that you'll probably copy and paste this message too, you morons.
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Kripp