[Copypasta] For people that use "XD"

twitchquotes: But the real question is, when this musing entered your mind, did you really make such a face? Was it so funny that your face contorted into a gaping wide-mouthed smile as your eyes aggressively squinted shut? Did you truly "ex dee"? Were you able to see your screen as you typed with your eyes held steadfast as though they were steel vice grips clamping with hundreds of pounds of force?
twitch chat
February 2019
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Natalie Portman is the reason I work out

Natalie Portman is the reason I work out. I have this fantasy where we start talking at the Vanity Fair Oscars party bar. We exchange a few pleasantries. She asks what I do. I say I loved her in New Girl. She laughs. I get my drink. "Well, see ya," I say and walk away. I've got her attention now. How many guys voluntarily leave a conversation with Natalie Portman? She touches her neck as she watches me leave. Later, as the night's dragged on and the coterie of gorgeous narcissists grows increasingly loose, she finds me on the balcony, my bowtie undone, smoking a cigarette. "Got a spare?" she asks. "What's in it for me?" I say as I hand her one of my little white ladies. She smiles. "Conversation with me, duh." I laugh. "What's so funny?" she protests. "Nothing, nothing... It's just... don't you grow tired of the egos?" "You get used to it," she says, lighting her cigarette and handing me back the lighter. "What would you do if you weren't an actress?" I ask. "Teaching, I think." "And if I was your student, what would I be learning?" "Discipline," she says quickly, looking up into my eyes, before changing the subject. "Where are you from?" "Bermuda," I say. "Oh wow. That's lovely." "It's ok," I admit. "Not everything is to my liking." "What could possibly be not to your liking in Bermuda?" she inquires. "I don't like sand," I tell her. "It's coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere."
January 2021

Classic

AYAYAYou

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣌⠻⣿⣿⣿⣧⠻ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⠟⢻⣿⣿⣿⡿⢿⣷⣌⡛⣿⣿⣷ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⡘⢿⡿⠃⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣄⠢⣍⡛⢌⠻⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡌⢡⣾⡿⠭⠝⣛⠻⠿⢿⣷⣌⡻⣷⡄⡹ ⣿⣿⡇⢻⣿⣷⢸⣦⣙⠻⢿⣿⣿⠟⣠⡀⢡⣼⣿⣿⣦⣬⣷⣦⣤⣍⣛⠜⣿⡜ ⣿⣿⢣⣆⠻⣿⡌⢿⣿⣿⣶⣬⣁⣐⡻⠿⠄⠙⠿⠿⢟⣛⣛⣛⣋⣭⣍⢩⣤⣝ ⣿⡏⡼⢏⣀⠹⣿⡌⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣏⢸⣿⣿ ⣿⢱⣴⣿⣿⣷⣌⡻⢌⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⠛⣻⣿⢸⣿⣿ ⡿⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠷⢦⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣋⠖⢁⣤⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿⣿ ⡇⠿⠟⣋⣭⠭⣵⣾⣿⣶⡶⠾⠭⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⡟⡿⣿⢿⢸⣿⣿ ⢡⣶⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⡟⢘⣋⣍⣝⠊⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣼⣶⣃⣾⠸⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⢈⣿⣿⠃⢸⣿⣿⢣⠋⠶⠶⢊⢹⡿⠿⠛⠛⠉⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠇⣿⣿ ⣿⡇⢾⣿⣿⢠⣿⣿⣿⣎⠻⠿⠛⢣⠃⠄⣠⣴⣶⣶⡆⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠄⠄⢻⣿ ⢛⣓⠸⢟⣛⠘⣩⣶⣶⡌⡼⠋⣿⡸⡰⣾⣿⣿⣿⡿⢃⣿⠿⠋⣀⣀⠄⣠⡜⣿ ⠈⠙⠂⠛⠿⠃⣩⣴⣶⣶⣦⣴⣿⣷⣱⣮⠭⠭⢔⣒⣩⡴⢚⣨⡜⣡⣾⣿⣷⠹
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June 2021

Amogus

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣤⣤⣤⣀⣀⣀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣼⠟⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠙⠻⢶⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⣷⡀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⡟⠀⣠⣶⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠳⣦⡀⠀⠘⣿⡄⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⠁⠀⢹⣿⣦⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣠⣼⡇⠀⠀⠸⣷⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⡏⠀⠀⠀⠉⠛⠿⠿⠿⠿⠛⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⡄⣠ ⠀⠀⢀⣀⣀⣀⠀⠀⢠⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⡇⠀ ⠿⠿⠟⠛⠛⠉⠀⠀⣸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡇⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣧⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣿⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⡶⠶⠿⠿⠿⠿⢷⣦⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀ ⠀⠀⣀⣀⣀⠀⣸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀ ⣠⡿⠛⠛⠛⠛⠻⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀ ⢻⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣼⡟⠀⠀⢀⣤⣤⣴⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀ ⠈⠙⢷⣶⣦⣤⣤⣤⣴⣶⣾⠿⠛⠁⢀⣶⡟⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡟⠀ ⢷⣶⣤⣀⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣿⣆⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣴⡾⠃⠀ ⠀⠈⠉⠛⠿⣶⣦⣄⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠛⠻⢿⣿⣾⣿⡿⠿⠟⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀
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February 2021

Among Us / Amogus

Kripp discovered one weird trick to look twice his age

twitchquotes: Kripp is the remarkable twenty year old that discovered one weird trick to look twice his age. It's called being VEGAN and it limits your body’s nutritional intake and makes you look and feel TWICE AS OLD. Why would anyone want to be vegan you may ask, well all vegans hate animals so they eat all the animals food so that they starve to death.
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

UR DONGIN A GRET JOB KROPP

twitchquotes: ヽ(◉◡◔)ﾉ UR DONGIN A GRET JOB KROPP ヽ(◉◡◔)ﾉ
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp
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