[Copypasta] Fortnite that's how Mafia works

twitchquotes: Fortnite. Fortnite. Fortnite. It was all my two kids talked about. They were utterly devoted to it. I had to make a change. I took the controllers and told them they couldn't play until they downloaded Mafia City. They whined and whined, but soon became engrossed in this amazing and educational game. Fortnite soon forgotten, their grades improved rapidly, much like their levels in game. The teachers were amazed, "how do they do it?" they asked me, I simply replied "that's how Mafia works."
twitch chat
January 2019
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

I'm sorry for the comments I made. Please unban me

twitchquotes: I'm sorry for the comments I made. They were far beyond the point of being considered appropriate. You are an incredible person & me having been under the influence of alcohol is no excuse for allowing my behaviour to continue for as long as it did. I swear by God's gracious gift of free will that if you ever allow me to be an active member of your community again I will never follow the precedent I'd set for myself leading up to your rational decision to ban me. i think you're really cool.
twitch chat
January 2022

Yamas! This is Mr OpieOP's Greek Restaurant

twitchquotes: Yᴀᴍᴀs! ᴛʜɪs ɪs ᴍʀ. OpieOP 's ɢʀᴇᴇᴋ ʀᴇsᴛᴀᴜʀᴀɴᴛ. Fᴏʀ ᴀ ʟɪᴍɪᴛᴇᴅ ᴛɪᴍᴇ ᴏɴʟy, yᴏᴜ ᴄᴀɴ ɢᴇᴛ ᴀ ʟᴀʀɢᴇ ᴛᴢᴀᴛᴢɪᴋɪ ᴩɪᴢᴢᴀ ᴀɴᴅ ᴀ ᴍᴇᴅɪᴜᴍ sᴇʀᴠɪɴɢ ᴏF ᴏᴜᴢᴏ Fᴏʀ ᴏɴʟy 4.20 $! ᴛᴏ ʙᴇ ᴇʟɪɢɪʙʟᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴛʜɪs ᴏFFᴇʀ, ᴛyᴩᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ᴄᴏᴅᴇ "Opie OP" (ɴᴏ sᴩᴀᴄᴇ) ɪɴᴛᴏ ᴛʜᴇ ᴄʜᴀᴛ. sᴇᴇ yᴏᴜ ᴀᴛ ᴍy ʀᴇsᴛᴀᴜʀᴀɴᴛ!
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Your precious Hearthstone would not EXIST

twitchquotes: Listen up you fucking assholes, your precious Hearthstone would not EXIST if it weren't for MTG, the fucking king of card games. It was the first and the best. Literally everything you love would not be here if Richard Garfield didn't create MTG in 1993. Pokemon, Yugioh, Hearthstone ALL WOULD NOT EXIST. So THINK TWICE next time you call this is a Hearthstone copy...
twitch chat
March 2018
Kripp

Hearthstone

SPAM THIS CRUSTACEAN FOR HBOX ELIMINATION

twitchquotes: SPAM 🦀 THIS 🦀 CRUSTACEAN 🦀 FOR 🦀 HBOX 🦀 ELIMINATION 🦀
twitch chat
June 2019

Rhyme Chant

Super Smash Bros

She sells seashells on a seashore, but the value of these shells will fall

She sells seashells on a seashore But the value of these shells will fall Due to the laws of supply and demand No one wants to buy shells 'cause there's loads on the sand Step 1: you must create a sense of scarcity Shells will sell much better if the people think they're rare, you see Bare with me, take as many shells as you can find and hide 'em on an island stockpile 'em high until they're rarer than a diamond Step 2: you gotta make the people think that they want 'em Really want 'em, really fuckin want 'em Hit 'em like Bronson Influencers, product placement, featured prime time entertainment If you haven't got a shell then you're just a fucking waste man Three: it's monopoly, invest inside some property, start a corporation, make a logo, do it properly ""Shells must sell"", that will be your new philosophy Swallow all your morals they're a poor man's quality Four: expand, expand, expand, clear forest, make land, fresh blood on hand Five: why just shells? Why limit your self? She sells seashells, sell oil as well! Six: guns, sell stocks, sell diamonds, sell rocks, sell water to a fish, sell the time to a clock Seven: press on the gas, take your foot off the brakes, Run to be the president of the United States Eight: big smile mate, big wave that's great Now the truth is overrated, tell lies out the gate Nine: Polarize the people, controversy is the game It don't matter if they hate you if they all say your name Ten: the world is yours, step out on a stage to a round of applause You're a liar, a cheat, a devil, a whore And you sell seashells on the seashore.
August 2021
Text-to-Speech Playing