[Copypasta] Fortnite that's how Mafia works

twitchquotes: Fortnite. Fortnite. Fortnite. It was all my two kids talked about. They were utterly devoted to it. I had to make a change. I took the controllers and told them they couldn't play until they downloaded Mafia City. They whined and whined, but soon became engrossed in this amazing and educational game. Fortnite soon forgotten, their grades improved rapidly, much like their levels in game. The teachers were amazed, "how do they do it?" they asked me, I simply replied "that's how Mafia works."
twitch chat
January 2019
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

notices you have a bulge

twitchquotes: Rawr~nuzzles how are you daddy? pounces on you you’re so warm. owo? notices you have a bulge. someone’s happy! nuzzles your necky wecky~ murr~ hehehe. rubbies your bulgy wolgy you’re so big :oooo rubbies more on your bulgy wolgy it doesn’t stop growing uwu kisses you and lickies your neck. do you likie? im wagging my wittle baby tail all for your bulgy wolgy! come on daddy dont keep me waiting~
twitch chat
October 2020

Am I the asshole for dropping my 6 year old son at an orphanage for his inability to trade options?

This started about 4 years ago when my son was 2 years old. I started to supplement his picture books and cartoons with beginner options books and Martin Shkerli's live videos on how to pick pharmaceutical stocks. Over the course of these years I feel like he has retained absolutely nothing even though I have spent every waking minute trying to make him understand. I have done almost everything that I have thought of including having Jerome Powell's speeches play while he is sleeping and only having Warren Buffet on the TV to try and make him understand the market. I felt as though I got to a breaking point when he couldn't differentiate between a straddle and a strangle even though we we went through different strategies for almost a month straight. I finally convinced my wife that we were doing the right thing when I said that he will soon be a Wendy's worker begging his wife's husband for a weekly allowance because he will never amount to be anything. I couldn't fathom raising a kid who was not able to able to make a profit from trading options by the time he was 10. With all that said if anyone wants a 6 year old child who is shitty at market strategy check out Eternal Sunny Orphanage in Omaha, Nebraska and maybe your luck will be better than mine with him.
September 2021

Am I The Asshole?

WallStreetBets

Is KogMaw's passive account specific?

twitchquotes: Hi Michael, I saw Doublelift playing Kogmaw yesterday and he didn't seem to have the same cool passive you have. Was his game bugged or is the passive account specific?
twitch chat
September 2017
imaqtpie

League of Legends

Kripp saved my life; Rania saved my sanity

twitchquotes: I discovered Kripp after a terrible car accident. I was n a coma for weeks. One day, the nurse decided to play Twitch in the room, specifically to Kripp's channel. I immediately awoke. I went to mute the channel, but it was then that Rania brought Kripp his food, saving me the effort. Kripp saved my life. Rania saved my sanity.
twitch chat
April 2015
Kripp

Crying laughing hands on face emoji (ICANT emote)

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣻⡯⠝⠛⠊⠉⠉⠉⠉⠓⠛⠫⢽⣻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣻⠗⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙⠻⣟⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⡟⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡽⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣎⠀⠀⠈⠁⠒⠠⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢯⢿⣿ ⡿⡸⠁⠀⠀⠀⠰⠶⣶⣤⣌⡀⠀⠀⠈⠁⠒⠤⡀⠀⠀⠑⢔⠒⠢⢄⠀⠈⢎⢿ ⣷⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠀⠉⠁⠐⠠⢀⠀⠈⠐⠀⠀⠀⠑⠀⠀⠢⠀⠘⣿ ⡾⠀⠀⠀⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⠊⡲⠤⠄⡀⠀⠀⠑⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢃⠀⢿ ⡇⠀⢀⠊⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣁⠀⠦⣀⠀⠈⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⠀⢸ ⢧⡰⠃⠀⠀⠀⢀⣌⠀⠉⠙⠳⠦⣭⣔⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⡾ ⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀⢠⠾⣿⣿⣷⣶⣤⣀⡀⠈⠙⠢⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢱⢿ ⣇⣇⠀⠀⡰⠃⠀⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣤⣈⡑⢠⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⢸ ⣿⣿⣧⡼⠁⠀⠀⠀⠈⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⢺ ⣿⣿⣿⣽⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠙⠛⠛⠛⠋⠉⢸⡇⠱⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣈⣼ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣽⣦⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡇⠀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡠⣻⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣭⣒⣦⣤⣄⣀⣀⣀⣀⣠⢤⣼⣳⣯⣿⣷⣿⣤⣯⣾⣿⣿
December 2021
Text-to-Speech Playing