[Copypasta] But I believe Tyler1 can save the world

twitchquotes: Long ago, the five positions lived together in harmony. Then, everything changed when the Riot Balance Team attacked. Only the Alpha, master of all five positions, could stop them, but when the world needed him most, he got banned. Two years passed and my brother and I discovered the new Alpha, a Draven main named Tyler1, and although his Draven skills are great, he has a lot to learn before he’s ready to save anyone. But I believe Tyler1 can save the world...
twitch chat
October 2018
I used to be a real ad
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You abhorrent scum. You ignorant fool. I will sue you

You abhorrent scum. You ignorant fool. I will sue you. You are going to be the target of the greatest lawsuit the world has ever seen. You don't know why? It's completely obvious. It's so obvious, the most deplorable peasant could grasp the full magnitude of your wickedness and treachery with the greatest of ease. Your actions cry out for mercy, and I will be happy to deliver it. And if you're thinking this is a mistake, or merely a deception of mine, you're sadly mistaken, my friend. I have indisputable proof of your continued harassment and other offenses. Even without it, the jury would take one look at you and decide. The incomprehensible magnitude of your crimes brings with it unavoidable, infinite guilt, and whether you notice it or not, everyone else does. Are you interested in who will be serving as the offense attorney? I'll tell you. It's my father. Your defense? It doesn't matter, in fact, they might just not give you one even to spare just one individual from the trauma. My father is the greatest lawyer in the US, the world, and human history, including the future, which he knows due to the fact that he sued the future and they travelled back in time to tell him. He's served for hundreds of Supreme Court cases, and he's won every single one. You may have never thought about being court-marshaled, but now, that's a real threat. That is the power of my father, a culmination of flawless, supreme logic and a perfect knowledge of the law. You will lose this case, your money, and your life. Does that scare you, insignificant bug? Because it should. The entire history of the U.S. Judicial System has been leading up to this moment, where all of its fury is concentrated on ruining your life. My father won't even need to help. Your heinous crimes will be evident to all, so just give up, you crook. Give up before you're forced to.
September 2021

Kniferino to cut off your dongerino

twitchquotes: ᴋʀɪᴘᴘ ᴛʜɪs ɪs ʜᴀғᴜ! ɪ ᴀᴍ ᴄᴏᴍɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ ᴇsɢɴ ᴀs ᴡᴇʟʟ, ᴀɴᴅ ɢᴜᴇss ᴡʜᴀᴛ ɪ ᴀᴍ ʙʀɪɴɢɪɴɢ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴍᴇ? ᴀ ʟɪᴛᴛʟᴇ ᴋɴɪғᴇʀɪɴᴏ ᴛᴏ ᴄᴜᴛ ᴏғғ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴅᴏɴɢᴇʀɪɴᴏ ғᴏʀ ᴄʜᴇᴀᴛɪɴɢ ᴏɴ ᴍᴇ! ɪғ ɪ sᴇᴇ ᴀ sᴜᴄᴄᴜʙᴜs ᴡɪᴛʜ ʏᴏᴜ ɪ ᴀᴍ ɢᴏɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ sᴛᴀʀᴛ ᴅᴀᴛɪɴɢ ᴛʀᴜᴍᴘ! ᴅᴏɴᴛ ᴍᴀᴋᴇ ᴍᴇ ᴅᴏ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴛʜᴏᴜɢʜ. ᴘʟᴢ ᴄᴏᴍᴇ ʙᴀᴄᴋ.
twitch chat
April 2014
Kripp

SPAM THIS SLIME TO HELP C9

twitchquotes: SPAM BrainSlug THIS BrainSlug SLIME BrainSlug TO BrainSlug HELP BrainSlug C9
twitch chat
October 2018
Riot Games

Rhyme Chant

When I use this text, my brain cell begin to die

twitchquotes: ｗｈｅｎ ｉ ｕｓｅ ｔｈｉｓ ｔｅｘｔ， ｍｙ ｂｒａｉｎ ｃｅｌｌ ａｕｔｏｍａｔｉｃａｌｌｙ ｂｅｇｉｎ ｔｏ ｄｉｅ． ｙｅｔ ｉ ｃｏｎｔｉｎｕｅ ｔｏ ｃｏｐｙｐａｓｔａ ａｎｄ ｆｅｅｌ ｉ ｃｏｎｔｒｉｂｕｔｅ ｔｏ ｔｈｅ ｉｎｔｅｒｎｅｔ． ａｌｌ ｂｅｃｏｍｉｎｇ ｒｅｔａｒｄ.
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

Classic

I declare with utter certainty that this one is in the bag

twitchquotes: ＦＲＯＭ ＴＨＥ ＧＨＡＳＴＬＹ ＥＹＲＩＥ Ｉ ＣＡＮ ＳＥＥ ＴＯ ＴＨＥ ＥＮＤＳ ＯＦ ＴＨＥ ＷＯＲＬＤ， ＡＮＤ ＦＲＯＭ ＴＨＩＳ ＶＡＮＴＡＧＥ ＰＯＩＮＴ Ｉ ＤＥＣＬＡＲＥ ＷＩＴＨ ＵＴＴＥＲ ＣＥＲＴＡＩＮＴＹ ＴＨＡＴ ＴＨＩＳ ＯＮＥ ＩＳ ＩＮ ＴＨＥ ＢＡＧ！
twitch chat
January 2015
DotADeMoN
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