[Copypasta] Listen to me, chat. You have a problem

twitchquotes: Listen to me, chat. You have a problem. We both know you're depressed, anxious, and unhealthy in general. You spend all day on Twitch enjoying games vicariously through others and spamming copypastas in chat. This has to stop. I'm asking you NOT to copy and paste this message, but go outside for a change. Get a new hobby. Make some friends. Turn over a new leaf. It's your only hope at this point.
twitch chat
April 2018
What happened to this ad? :(
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Vaporeon but uwu

April 2022

Pokemon

80 billion dollars in twitch stocks

twitchquotes: 4 people broke into my house and held me hostage last night. Somehow they've heard I hold 80 billion dollars in twitch stocks and wanted me to withdraw it to a specific bank account. I had to explain for 2 hours how it's all fake money and that I've spent almost a week trading fake stocks just to gain nothing. They ended up calling me a fucking loser and left..
twitch chat
March 2019

How to prank your school principle

Step 1: Go to his office Step 2: distract him Step 3: Put a fish on his desk Step 4: He'll laugh at it and say "Who put this fish on my desk" Step 5: Break his kneecaps
June 2021

Homo Sapiens

twitchquotes: When I was 12 yrs old, a male friend asked me if I was Homosexual or Heterosexual. I didn't know what either meant, but I did know we were called Homo Sapiens. So I said I was Homosexual. He laughed at me. He then explained the difference and then I said I must be heterosexual because I had sex with his mom.
twitch chat
July 2018

Fabulous

⊂_ヽ 　 ＼＼ ＿ 　　 ＼(　•_•) F 　　　 <　⌒ヽ A 　　　/ 　 へ＼ B 　　 /　　/　＼＼ U 　　 ﾚ　ノ　　 ヽ_つ L 　　/　/ O 　 /　/| U 　(　(ヽ S 　|　|、＼ 　| 丿 ＼ ⌒) 　| |　　) / `ノ )　　Lﾉ (_／
ascii art
December 2020
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Text-to-Speech Playing