[Copypasta] Listen to me, chat. You have a problem

twitchquotes: Listen to me, chat. You have a problem. We both know you're depressed, anxious, and unhealthy in general. You spend all day on Twitch enjoying games vicariously through others and spamming copypastas in chat. This has to stop. I'm asking you NOT to copy and paste this message, but go outside for a change. Get a new hobby. Make some friends. Turn over a new leaf. It's your only hope at this point.
twitch chat
April 2018
What happened to this ad? :(
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Must be Weasel Tunneler

twitchquotes: 🐿 Great Fur 🐿 Extremely Handsome 🐿 Innovative Deathrattle 🐿 High Level Tactics 🐿 Moderately Sized Fedora 🐿 Great Animations 🐿 Broken Interactions 🐿 Must be Weasel Tunneler 🐿
twitch chat
December 2016

Hearthstone

OMG you're so FUNNY so quirky

πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚OMG πŸ˜‚ you’re so FUNNY 🀣 🀣 so quirky πŸ‘‰πŸ‘ˆ πŸ€ͺ so different 🀩absolute crackhead energy πŸ€ͺπŸ€ͺ comedic genius🧠 πŸ˜‚ I literally can’t ❌ breathe 😭 i’m crying dude 😭😭 that was so hilarious πŸ˜† u really got the whole squad laughing πŸ‘¨β€πŸ‘©β€πŸ‘§β€πŸ‘¦πŸ˜‚πŸ‘©β€πŸ‘©β€πŸ‘¦β€πŸ‘¦πŸ˜‚πŸ‘¨β€πŸ‘¨β€πŸ‘§β€πŸ‘¦ high IQ comedy 🧠🧠 how’d you come up with that πŸ§πŸ˜‚ really original work πŸ˜‚ never seen πŸ™ˆ or heard πŸ™‰ anything like that before πŸ˜‚ πŸ˜‚ πŸ˜‚ great πŸ‘ job πŸ‘πŸ‘ keep up the funnies πŸ‘‘πŸ€£πŸ‘‘ i love you πŸ’• 😘 you’re my inspiration 🀩🀩🀩 if only i were as funny πŸ˜„ or smart πŸ€“ or cool 😎 as you πŸ˜” but its whatever I’ll continue to watch πŸ‘πŸ‘„πŸ‘ your content πŸŽ₯🀳 because it ❌NEVER EVER❌ fails to make me laugh πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ thank you πŸ™ for existing πŸ˜‡ and doing what you do ❀️❀️
April 2022

Emoji Pasta

Why Harry Potter should have carried a 1911

Ok, this has been driving me crazy for seven movies now, and I know you're going to roll your eyes, but hear me out: Harry Potter should have carried a 1911. Here's why: Think about how quickly the entire WWWIII (Wizarding-World War III) would have ended if all of the good guys had simply armed up with good ol' American hot lead. Basilisk? Let's see how tough it is when you shoot it with a .470 Nitro Express. Worried about its Medusa-gaze? Wear night vision goggles. The image is light-amplified and re-transmitted to your eyes. You aren't looking at it--you're looking at a picture of it. Imagine how epic the first movie would be if Harry had put a breeching charge on the bathroom wall, flash-banged the hole, and then went in wearing NVGs and a Kevlar-weave stab-vest, carrying a SPAS-12. And have you noticed that only Europe seems to a problem with Deatheaters? Maybe it's because Americans have spent the last 200 years shooting deer, playing GTA: Vice City, and keeping an eye out for black helicopters over their compounds. Meanwhile, Brits have been cutting their steaks with spoons. Remember: gun-control means that Voldemort wins. God made wizards and God made muggles, but Samuel Colt made them equal. Now I know what you're going to say: "But a wizard could just disarm someone with a gun!" Yeah, well they can also disarm someone with a wand (as they do many times throughout the books/movies). But which is faster: saying a spell or pulling a trigger? Avada Kedavra, meet Avtomat Kalashnikova. Imagine Harry out in the woods, wearing his invisibility cloak, carrying a .50bmg Barrett, turning Deatheaters into pink mist, scratching a lightning bolt into his rifle stock for each kill. I don't think Madam Pomfrey has any spells that can scrape your brains off of the trees and put you back together after something like that. Voldemort's wand may be 13.5 inches with a Phoenix-feather core, but Harry's would be 0.50 inches with a tungsten core. Let's see Voldy wave his at 3,000 feet per second. Better hope you have some Essence of Dittany for that sucking chest wound. I can see it now...Voldemort roaring with evil laughter and boasting to Harry that he can't be killed, since he is protected by seven Horcruxes, only to have Harry give a crooked grin, flick his cigarette butt away, and deliver what would easily be the best one-liner in the entire series: "Well then I guess it's a good thing my 1911 holds 7+1." And that is why Harry Potter should have carried a 1911.
August 2021

companies never gets whats make the games popular

twitchquotes: companies never gets whats make the games popular, it is not content or of the game is free or not, its their content creators, CSGO has Summit and Fortnite has Ninja, Valorant has no one, they must find a clown asap or their circus is going to close
twitch chat
June 2020

If my girl and PPMD both drowning

if my girl 😍 and PPMD Kreygasm both drowning 😱 and I can only save one 😀 😬 Catch me at my girl’s funeral 😝 chanting STACK πŸ‘ IT πŸ‘ UP πŸ‘ 😏 πŸ’― 😎 πŸ†
December 2020

Super Smash Bros

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