[Copypasta] Listen to me, chat. You have a problem

twitchquotes: Listen to me, chat. You have a problem. We both know you're depressed, anxious, and unhealthy in general. You spend all day on Twitch enjoying games vicariously through others and spamming copypastas in chat. This has to stop. I'm asking you NOT to copy and paste this message, but go outside for a change. Get a new hobby. Make some friends. Turn over a new leaf. It's your only hope at this point.
twitch chat
April 2018
What happened to this ad? :(
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I thought fidget spinning was a dumb trend

twitchquotes: I thought fidget spinning was a dumb trend, but then I got mine. I felt the spin, I felt it on my finger, I felt the rush of a good spin. It changed me. I got my spinner ironically, but I was wrong. Its amazing, I'm smarter, more productive, more focused at work, a simple task is now much better. Outsiders dont get it, they dont get us. I'm not saying were better but were more open minded and probably smarter. I love this community, and I love this way of life.
twitch chat
June 2017

Fidget Spinner

He needed PRECISELY those two inches to win!

twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

This Copypasta Is CRAZY!

Kripp is MY MAN

twitchquotes: Ｄｅａｒ Ｋｒｉｐｐ＇ｓ Ｇａｙ Ｇｒｅｅｋ Ｂｏｙｆｒｉｅｎｄ， ｙｏｕ ｐｉｅｃｅ ｏｆ ｅｌ ｄｏｇ ｓｈｉｔｅｒｉｎｏ． Ｔｈｅ Ｋｒｉｐｐ ｉｓ ＭＹ ＭＡＮ． Ａｎｄ ｙｏｕ ｂｅｔｔｅｒ ｂａｃｋ ｔｈｅ ｆｕｃｋ ｏｆｆ． Ｐｌｚ ｎｏ ｃｏｐｙ ｐａｓｔｅｒｉｎｏ ａｌ ｐａｃｉｎｏ ｐｉｓｔａｃｈｉｏ
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

Infinite poop

twitchquotes: Infinite poop. You sit on the toilet to poop, but the poop never stops coming out of your butt. You have to start flushing the toilet every two minutes to keep up. You try to pinch your butt closed but that makes your insides hurt. The poop accelerates. You call 911. The paramedics call for doctors. The doctors call for specialists. The story trends on Twitter. You turn down talk show appearances. Your septic tank fails. People form a cult. Your toilet is finished. Volunteers arrive with buckets and shovels. You are completely used to the smell. The poop accelerates. You are moved to a stepladder with a hole in the top step. The poop accelerates. The shovelers abandon the buckets and shovel directly out the window. The poop accelerates. A candlelight vigil forms around your house. One of the workers falls over and can't free himself. The poop accelerates. A priest knocks over the stepladder and tackles you out the window. You land in the pile. The poop accelerates. The force now propels you forward and upward. Vigil goers grab at your legs. The poop ignites from their candles. The Facebook live event hits 1 million viewers. The poop accelerates. You are 30 feet in the air. The fire engulfs the vigil and your house. 60 feet. The poop accelerates. The torrent underneath you is deafening. 5 million Facebook live viewers. You try to close up shop but your butthole disintegrated long ago. 120 feet up. Your house explodes. The poop accelerates. 1000 feet. You are now tracked on radar. You try to change your angle of ascent but you should have thought of that way earlier. The poop accelerates. 4,000 feet. NORAD upgrades to DEFCON 3. Concentric circles of fire engulf your city. The poop accelerates. You have broken the sound barrier. 30,000 feet. You no longer take in enough oxygen to sustain consciousness. 60,000 feet. CNN is reporting on all the world records you've broken. 200,000 feet. You are no longer alive. The poop accelerates. Your body disintegrates but your poop contrail remains. NASA can no longer track you. You break the light-speed barrier and we can no longer bear witness. The poop accelerates. Forever.
twitch chat
June 2019

Classic

Tides, you suffer another extremely unjust loss

twitchquotes: Once again, Tides, you suffer another extremely unjust loss. I have no idea why you keep losing game after game, even though you possess superb drafting and world-class champion decision making skills. There’s clearly something not right since you are the best player of Teamfight tactics.
twitch chat
June 2019
TidesOfTime

Teamfight Tactics

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