[Copypasta] Listen to me, chat. You have a problem

twitchquotes: Listen to me, chat. You have a problem. We both know you're depressed, anxious, and unhealthy in general. You spend all day on Twitch enjoying games vicariously through others and spamming copypastas in chat. This has to stop. I'm asking you NOT to copy and paste this message, but go outside for a change. Get a new hobby. Make some friends. Turn over a new leaf. It's your only hope at this point.
twitch chat
April 2018
(β–€ΜΏΔΉΜ―β”œβ”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

I love ketchup so much

I enjoy ketchup more than the average person. Made with tomatoes and vinegar, this ubiquitous red sauce is my condiment of choice for a wide variety of dining situations. Sweet and tangy, it's perfect for eating with french fries and burgers, of course, but you might not realize how good it is incorporated into other dishes. Its unique sweet and savory nature makes it a bit of a dynamo that way. No wonder this addictive table staple of households and restaurants is so beloved.
April 2022

Bender demends a voltron deck

twitchquotes: Β¦Μ΅ Μ΅ Μ΅ Μ΅ Μ΅(Μ’ Μ‘β””Μ…β”˜Ν‡ (β–€8Χ›βˆ’β—¦ BENDER demands a VOLTRON deck
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp

0-3 Hearthstone Arena Police

twitchquotes: (β–€ΜΏΔΉΜ―β–€ΜΏ ΜΏ) This is the 0-3 Police, You're coming with us. (β–€ΜΏΔΉΜ―β–€ΜΏ ΜΏ)
twitch chat
October 2014

Classic

Hearthstone

Rooster

β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–’β–’β–’β–’β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–Œβ–’β–’β–β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–‘β—β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–€β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–€β–€β–„β–„ β–‘β–‘β–β–‘β–‘β–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–„β–ˆβ–€ β–‘β–‘β–β–„β–„β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–€β–€β–€β–€β–„ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–’β–’β–€β–€β–€β–€β–„β–€β–‘β–„β–€β–‘β–„β–„β–„β–€β–€ ░░░░▐░░░░▐▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▀▀▄░░▀▄▄▄░▄ ░░░░▐░░░░▐▄▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▀▄░▄▄▀▀ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–€β–„ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–€β–„ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–€β–€β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–Œβ–‘β–Œβ–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–Œβ–Œβ–„β–Œβ–Œ
ascii art
February 2017

Just as the founding fathers intended

I own a musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. "What the devil?" As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, "Tally ho lads" the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He Bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding fathers intended.
November 2020
More Copypastas
Text-to-Speech Playing