[Copypasta] Dicks are so cute omg

twitchquotes: Dicks are so cute omg(⁄ ⁄•⁄ω⁄•⁄ ⁄) when you hold one in your hand and it starts twitching its like its nuzzling you(/ω＼) or when they perk up and look at you like" owo nya? :3c" hehe ~ penis-kun is happy to see me!!（＾ワ＾)
twitch chat
March 2018

Classic

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A New Toucan Has Arrived

░░░░░░░░░░░░▄█▀█▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▄▄░░░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░░░░▄██▀░█░░░░░░░░░░▀▀▄▄░░░░ ░░░░░░░░░░███▀█▀█▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▒▒▒▄███░░░ ░░░░░░░░▄██░░░░█░░░░░░░░▀▀▀▀▀▀█░░░ ░░░░░░▄███░░░░░░█░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░ ░░░░░█████▄░░░░░█░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░ ░░░░████████▄▄░█░░░░A░NEW░░░░░░░░░ ░░░████████████░░░░░░TOUCAN░░░░░░░ ░░░▀██████████░░░░░░░░HAS░░░░░░░░░ ░░░░██▒▀█▒▀█▀░░░░░░░░░░ARRIVED░░░░ ░■▓▓▓▓▓▄▓▓▄▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓■░░░░░░░░░░░░░░ ░░░▄▄███▀░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░
ascii art
January 2019

Classic

I saw exactly 1.09441 square inches of a girls shoulder today

I saw exactly 1.09441 square inches of a girls shoulder today, I immediately fell to my knees, as the rush of dopamine signaling my impending, earth shattering orgasm started making me moan loud enough to deafen EVERYONE in the immediate vicinity. What followed was a torrential downpour of every single sperm cell I ever had, or ever will produce shot out SO HARD that my dick was ripped apart by my Übernut, accelerating to 5% of the speed of light by the time it left my urethra. It vaporized the girl as it punched right through her, it barely slowed before cutting through a structural support beam in the school as if it were a nuclear powered angle grinder. the sheer weight of this historical nut, combined with the total destruction of everything in its path caused the school to collapse, and every female in the state of illinois became pregnant with my children.
July 2021

Classic

Pickpocket hot tip

twitchquotes: Hot tip: When someone yells pickpocket start searching for your wallet in the groin area and exclaim 'Thank God my wallet is safely tucked between my testicles'. The pickpocket will see this and assume that the wallet is there. These people usually have very supple and delicate hands so when they try to take your wallet you will instead get a pleasant fondling to your genital area.
twitch chat
January 2019

Classic

Please DO NOT buy the BTS meal if you don't stan them

Please DO NOT buy the BTS meal if you don't stan them. You're preventing the actual BTS fans who have waited for months from having the BTS meal experience. Eating the sauces without understanding their significance is literally cultural appropriation and it's not okay
June 2021

Classic

If any of you copy and paste this you will be in serious trouble

twitchquotes: ᶦ ˢʷᵉᵃʳ ᵗᵒ ᵍᵒᵈ ᶦᶠ ᵃᶰʸ ᵒᶠ ʸᵒᵘ ᵐᵒᵗʰᵉʳʳᶠᵘᶜᵏᵉʳˢ ᶜᵒᵖʸ ᵃᶰᵈ ᵖᵃˢᵗᵉ ᵗʰᶦˢ ʸᵒᵘ ʷᶦᶫᶫ ᵇᵉ ᶦᶰ ˢᵉʳᶦᵒᵘˢ ᵗʳᵒᵘᵇᶫᵉ
twitch chat
April 2014

Classic

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