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My boss recently discovered Among Us

Oh my fucking god guys I am fucking fuming. So the other day at work my boss told us that he recently discovered the video game Among Us, and ever since, his behaviour has become rather concerning. He now refers to me and my coworkers as 'crewmates'. Last Wednesday, when he noticed my teenage colleague slacking off at his workstation, he yelled at him saying he was "faking his tasks" and is "acting sus". I confronted my boss telling him that his behaviour lately has been egregious and immature, and he proceeded to call me an idiot and yelled "kicked!" The next day I caught him dancing around in his office blasting "among drip" from his desktop at full volume. I entered his office to kindly ask him to turn off the music since it was distracting to me and my coworkers. He looked at me angrily, telling me he has called an "emergency meeting", instructing me to have a seat. I asked him what was the matter and he told me that I have been acting extremely "sus". He repeatedly yelled "you're the impostor", telling me to say goodbye to my job because I have been "ejected". I fucking lost my job and I don't know what to do. Please help me Reddit! I have nowhere else to turn.
March 2021

Among Us / Amogus

I’ve been wondering if I might be a gay

Recently, I’ve been wondering if I might be a gay. It all started a week ago. I was sitting on the toilet, pooping, when all of a sudden, a big shit turd comes out of my ass. It was huge. Big big. It’s so fucking big, I gotta look down into the toilet to check for blood. No blood, but the turd is fucking massive. I notice something strange about it. The end of the turd, sticking out of the water, looks like a dick head. A penis head. Needless to say, I was concerned. How could this be? I picked it up from the water, and put it back up my ass. To my surprise, it felt good. I then shit it back into the water. Splash. I then repeated this a few more times, moaning out “Oscar Winning actor Anthony Hopkins” each time. I am not sure if I am now gay. My boyfriend says it’s completely normal, but he’s gay, so I can’t trust him.
May 2021

4WeirdBusiness

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠋⠉⣁⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⡉⠉⠉⠻⢿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠉⠄⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡄⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠘⠋⠉⡉⠉⠙⠻⢿⣿⡿⠟⠉⣉⣉⣉⠉⠉⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⣤⣶⣤⣤⣤⣬⣿⣶⣾⣿⣷⣾⣯⣤⣤⣤⣬⣿⣦ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠛⠻⠿⠛⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠙⢿⣿⣿⡿⠷⠾⠿⠿⠷⢾⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠁ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠉⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠻⠿⣶⣶⣶⡖⢰⣶⣶⣾⡿⠟⠉⠁⠄⠰ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠻⠿⠿⠷⠾⠿⠿⠿⠗⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⡿⠇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠐⠲⣶⠖⠄⠒⢶⡟⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⡏⡖⠄⢸⣿⣿⣷⡏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠱⡇⠄⢰⠆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠛⠁⠇⠄⠄⠻⠙⠟⠃⠄⠐⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣀⡀⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠉⠉⠁⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠐⡇⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
November 2021

I need you Kripp, love Trump

twitchquotes: Kʀɪᴘᴘ, ʏᴏᴜ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ɴᴏᴛ ɢɪᴠᴇɴ ᴍᴇ ʏᴏᴜʀ sᴏғᴛ, ᴛᴇɴᴅᴇʀ, ʟᴏᴠɪɴɢ ɪɴ sᴏ ʟᴏɴɢ.... Yᴏᴜ ᴜsᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ᴛᴏᴜᴄʜ ᴍᴇ ɪɴ ᴡᴀʏs ɴᴏ ᴏɴᴇ ᴇʟsᴇ ᴄᴀɴ. Tʜᴇ ᴛʜɪɴɢs ʏᴏᴜ ᴄᴏᴜʟᴅ ᴍᴀᴋᴇ ᴍᴇ ғᴇᴇʟ I ᴊᴜsᴛ Kreygasm... ɪ ɴᴇᴇᴅ ʏᴏᴜ ᴋʀɪᴘᴘ. Sᴏᴍᴇᴛɪᴍᴇs ɪ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴛᴏ ɪᴍᴀɢɪɴᴇ ʀᴇᴄᴇɪᴠɪɴɢ ʟᴏᴠᴇ ᴊᴜsᴛ ᴛᴏ ǫᴜᴇʟʟ ᴛʜᴇ ᴜʀɢᴇs. ɪ ɴᴇᴇᴅ ʏᴏᴜ ɪɴsɪᴅᴇ ᴋʀɪᴘᴘ, ʟᴏᴠᴇ ᴛʀᴜᴍᴘ
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

Taric

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣤⣶⣶⣶⣾⣷⣶⣾⣿⣿⣶⣶⣦⣤⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡦⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣤⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⢛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡁⢙⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠀⠀⢫⢛⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢃⠀⠀⢀⣳⣾⣿⣉⣉⠉⠉⠙⢿⣿⣿⡶⠅⢿⣿⣿⣯⣸⣧⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⣚⣶⣤⠗⠙⠏⢃⠒⠢⠚⠂⠂⠀⣿⣿⠇⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠛⢛⣻⡆⠀⠐⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡿⠋⠠⠂⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣹⡏⠻⢿⣿⣿⠄⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⠀⠰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⡟⠀⠀⣾⣿⡄⠀⠀⡃⠀⠀⠈⠀⠀⠀⠒⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣶⣶⣄⢿⣿⣿⣄⠀⡠⠀⢀⣀⠤⠊⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⣿⣮⣿⣿⣿⣮⠉⠉⣀⡠⠔⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⣿⣿⣻⠿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣀⡉⠙⣿⣿⣿⣷⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⣾⣿⣿⠟⡕⠁⠀⢸⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡰⠟⠛⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⢓⠤⣰⣤⣤⣾⣿⣿⡿⢛⡡⠊⠀⠀⢀⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠁⠒⠉⠭⠭⠭⠑⠀⠁⠀⠀⠀⢀⠎⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙⠛⠛⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠔⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠓⠤⠀⢀⣀⣀⡀⠠⠄⠂⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
March 2022

League of Legends

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