[Copypasta] We blizzard care much about the player experience

twitchquotes: We blizzard care much about the player experience. For this reason, we're changing the card Ultimate Infestation as follows: Deal 5 damage, gain 5 armor, summon 3 JADE GOLEMS, Add 5 Jade Idol to your hand. I'm Ben Brode, hope you still like my raps!
twitch chat
September 2017

Hearthstone

I used to be a real ad
More Hearthstone Copypastas

KRIPP PLEASE delete hearth arena

twitchquotes: KRIPP PLEASE delete hearth arena and pry their dirty leeching talons from your spine. that app is complete trash and the only reason the meta is the way the meta is, is because literally every drooling fucking noob uses that app and just mindleslly picks whatever cards they recomend. DELETE that SHIT and start forging a new meta with your skill and creativity. you have a high IQ but you arent fucking using it. youre being sapped kripp
twitch chat
February 2019
Kripp

Hearthstone

Kripp ignores chat draft

twitchquotes: As a young boy, Kripp lived with his family in a chateau in Romania. Kripp had a younger sister who was born frail and prone to illness. The family always took special care to make sure she was never too cold or hot. One day Kripp's parents were late and told Kripp to put his sister to bed. Kripp accidentally left the window of the chateau open, his sister contracted pneumonia and died. At the funeral, his father sobbed and said "My son, why did you ignore the chat draft?"
twitch chat
November 2016
Kripp

Hearthstone

Did you ever hear the tragedy of Open the Waygate?

twitchquotes: Did you ever hear the tragedy of Open the Waygate? I thought not. It’s not a story the f2p btw would tell you. It’s a P2W legendary. Open the Waygate was a Quest from Journey to Un’Goro, so powerful and so astounding it could use Time Warp to influence the end turn button to create another turn… It had such a knowledge of the spaghetti code that it could even keep the worthy opponents it faced from having a turn. The spaghetti code is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be imbalanced. It became so powerful… the only thing it was afraid of was losing its power, which eventually, of course, it did. Unfortunately, it drew every card from its deck, then its worthy opponent set it to one health. Ironic. It could stop others from drawling, but not itself.
twitch chat
April 2017

Tragedy of Darth Plagueis The Wise

Hearthstone

Babbling book is quickly becoming one of my favorite cards

twitchquotes: Babbling book is quickly becoming one of my favorite cards. It's just so positive and generous. Practically costs nothing at all at one mana you drop him on the board and that chill ass mofo gives you a spell to use later in the game. And you also get this adorable little 1/1 can ping things but usually is too harmless to be removed. But more than the BB is just so positive. It comes on the board like "do you want to cast a spell?" and I'm like "yeah BB i do want to cast a spell let's do this shit" and when he attacks he's like "SPELLS ARE FUN" and I'm like "yeah they are SO FUN." He doesn't say some bullshit macho shit like "I will destroy you" he's just like "nah spells are fun." And it looks so happy. I mean this is an inanimate object literally brought to life by magic. It understands it's life is a temporary magical gift and the dude is just fucking loving it. I mean look at his face he's just so happy. I am literally never sad when babbling book is on board. IDK if he's gonna make it into the metagame or not but for now he (or she) a pretty chill card
twitch chat
December 2016

Classic

Hearthstone

Reynad was getting ready for his first HTC cast

twitchquotes: Reynad was getting ready for his first HTC cast. His palms were sweaty. Frodan sits next to him, "are you nervous Andrey?" Reynad wipes away his tears and says, "not anymore". They both smile and place their hands on each other's crotch under the desk. Reynad closes his eyes. KappaPride
twitch chat
March 2016
Reynad

Hearthstone

KappaPride

Text-to-Speech Playing