[Copypasta] I was born with glass bones and paper skin

twitchquotes: haHAA I was born with glass bones and paper skin. Every morning I break my legs, and every afternoon I break my arms. At night, I lie awake in agony until my heart attacks put me to sleep. haHAA
twitch chat
August 2017
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

Pulp Fiction

⠌⠊⠆⠕⠅⠕⠌⡆⣃⠪⠢⠣⡱⡑⢕⢅⢣⠱⡡⡣⡣⡣⡣⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣀⣠⣀⢀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⡀⡀⡀⡀⡀⡀⢄⠢⢀⠄⡁⢀⠠⠄⠄⡀⠅⠈⡈⢸⢸⢪⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣴⣿⣿⡿⣿⡟⣿⣻⣆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠪⡐⡌⢆⢎⢢⠶⠿⠻⡟⠻⠾⠰⡕⡝⡜⣔⢕⢕⠄⡣⡣⡣⠄⠄⠄⠄⢰⣿⣿⡿⠯⠘⠄⠁⠄⠄⠉⢢⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⡊⢔⠜⡌⠎⢈⣬⣥⣤⣴⣶⠄⠄⠈⢪⡳⣕⡕⡧⡁⣇⢇⢇⠄⠄⠄⢀⣿⡏⠈⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⡨⠢⡑⡕⠄⢐⣿⣿⡿⠿⠟⢧⠄⠄⠘⣞⡞⡮⡳⡁⣇⢇⠧⠄⠄⠄⠄⢇⡂⠄⠄⠄⡄⠄⠄⠄⢠⢀⠄⠐⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠠⡑⢌⢺⡀⠰⣤⣖⣯⢶⣽⣟⠆⡄⠄⣗⡯⣯⣣⠃⣇⢇⢏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠐⣠⡖⡦⣽⡿⢆⠄⠚⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⢐⠨⡐⣝⣇⠄⣝⣯⢭⢽⣻⡺⠅⠄⠄⣿⢽⣳⣳⠁⢱⢱⡑⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠃⠈⠢⢕⠝⠐⠄⡑⠄⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣔⣅⣆⣗⢿⡀⢐⢡⢭⢼⠸⠈⠄⠄⠄⣻⣟⣷⢷⢅⡇⡇⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠅⠡⠄⠄⠄⠂⣊⣼⣿⠄⢠⣀⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⡯⠏⠃⠋⠃⠘⣷⣄⡀⢀⣤⠆⡄⠄⠛⣛⢙⢋⠃⢗⡝⡌⠄⣠⣤⣶⣶⡲⡶⡲⡆⢒⣶⠂⣾⣿⣿⡟⠄⠄⠙⠻⡿⡶⣦⣤⡀ ⠛⠈⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢻⣿⡯⢩⣿⣿⣥⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠛⣿⣎⢇⢀⢼⠌⠪⠁⠄⢙⠽⠻⢸⠏⠐⣿⣿⣿⠇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠠⠁⠄⠠⠃ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣤⣼⡿⠗⡚⢛⣯⢿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣯⣧⡶⠶⠇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⠄⠄⣿⣿⡿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣝⠁⢐⣀⢁⠄⠆⠊⠚⠛⢢⣤⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⢭⡛⠂⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡎⠄⢸⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⡧⢸⠄⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⣮⠃⠁⠈⠉⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡇⠄⢸⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣸⣝⢈⡇⠄⠄⠬⠐⠄⠄⡼⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢰⠁⠄⢸⣿⡏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⡄⠁⢰⣶⣏⠄⠄⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠸⣟⠄⡁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⠄⠄⢸⣿⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢰⣿⣿⠁⠄⠈⣷⣧⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣗⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⠭⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⠇⠄⠄⣿⡏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡳⠄⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⡑⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⠕⡽⣿⠄⠄⠄⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡀⠄⠄⣻⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⢠⣬⣿⣻⡆⠄⠄⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⠄⠄⠄⢽⡂⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠙⠛⠛⠻⠃⠄⠄⠿⠃⠄⠄⠄⠈⠁⠄⠄⠄⠈⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠪⡂⠄⠄⣸⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⡀⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢰⠞⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠠⢤⣀ ⣷⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡶⠄⠄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠟⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣧⡜⣾⣿⣷⢶⡠⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠄⠄⠄⢀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⢀ ⣺⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠙⠄⠘⠉⠉⠉⠈⠈⠈⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⠠⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠐⠄⠄⠄⠈ ⢷⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡀⠈⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠂⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
ascii art
September 2021

Oh my gourd, I am financially ruined (agricultural futures)

I have lost everything, and I'm not sure how to continue. This summer I invested $17,500 (six months salary and my entire life savings) into ornamental gourd futures, hoping to capitalize on this lucrative emerging industry. After watching a video about Vincent Kosuga and his monopoly on onions, I decided I'd try to do something similar with another vegetable. I did some research and found out many agricultural forecasters expected this year's gourd yield would be far smaller than the past, due to deteriorating soil conditions in central Mexico and a warmer-than-average spring. At first, demand soared around Halloween and prices skyrocketed, but the gourd bubble burst on November 12th. Unfortunately, the coronavirus caused a massive drop-off in demand due to fewer families decorating their tables for thanksgiving, and prices plummeted. I had invested early enough that I thought I would still be fine, but then on the morning of December 2nd, a new email in my inbox caused my stomach to turn into a pretzel. The massive gourd shipment from Argentina, scheduled for early March, had arrived. I was planning on selling off my futures right before this, in February, but this ruined everything. To top it off, the gourds in this shipment were absolutely gargantuan, some topping 4 pounds each, causing the price-per-pound to drop like an anchor into the range of 6 cents per pound. I am ruined.
January 2021

Classic

WallStreetBets

Wot the fok did ye just say 2 me m8?

twitchquotes: Wot the fok did ye just say 2 me m8? i dropped out of newcastle primary skool im the sickest bloke ull ever meet & ive nicked ova 300 chocolate globbernaughts frum tha corner shop. im trained in street fitin' & im the strongest foker in tha entire newcastle gym....
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp

Mario head

ascii art
July 2019

NSFW

TL aka "The Losers"

twitchquotes: TL, aka "The Losers", is team that somehow manages to be #1 in NA. Fans think they are the next big thing, but NA fails to see they are made up of 4 asians and 1 EU player.
twitch chat
July 2019
Riot Games

League of Legends

More Copypastas
Text-to-Speech Playing