[Copypasta] I was born with glass bones and paper skin

twitchquotes: haHAA I was born with glass bones and paper skin. Every morning I break my legs, and every afternoon I break my arms. At night, I lie awake in agony until my heart attacks put me to sleep. haHAA
twitch chat
August 2017
I used to be a real ad
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Bullish market makes me hard

When the stocks πŸ“ŠπŸ“ go up πŸ“ˆπŸ’Έ, my dick goes too πŸ†β¬†οΈπŸ˜³. Bullish πŸ‚ market 🏬 makes me hard πŸ¦΄πŸ’¦. All the countries πŸ³οΈπŸ΄πŸ΄β€β˜ οΈπŸπŸš©πŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆπŸ³οΈβ€βš§οΈπŸ‡ΊπŸ‡³ try to recover πŸ”„ from corona 🦠 so the money πŸ’°πŸ’΅πŸ’Έ flows 🌬 into my pocket πŸ’³. Soon πŸ”œ there will be a crash πŸ“‰πŸ˜­πŸ₯ΊπŸ˜– and the bears 🐻 will crawl 🚼 out of their holes πŸ•³. Then they cut off my greedy dick βœ‚οΈπŸ†πŸ©Έ if I don’t ❌ eat ’em out πŸ‘…πŸ˜Έ. I must turn into a bear πŸ‚βž‘οΈπŸ» and make 🀌🏼 more money πŸ’°πŸ’΅πŸ’Έ and eat some honey 🐻🍯. When I’m done βœ… I’ll throw a party πŸŽ‰πŸ·πŸΎ and eat your ass πŸ‘…πŸ‘.
October 2021

Emoji Pasta

WallStreetBets

Putin should start an OnlyFans to save the Russian economy

Think about it. The Russian economy is in shambles. All assets frozen, there's no money coming in. But if he just spread that hiney for some people who would like it then why not? With a couple butt spread pictures maybe a ruble can be worth more than a potato again. Here are some content ideas that I suggest: Wanking Videos (pretty basic, these are the cheapest ones cuz his dickπŸ† is like 1 cmπŸ₯œ) Body Worship Videos (kinda hot ngl 😳😌😰, all his dick sucking oligarchs oil his body and touch him in ways he never thought possibleπŸ‘‰πŸ‘ŒπŸ‘‹πŸ€›) Sanction Bukkake (a livestream where in a dick cums on his face every time he gets a sanctionπŸ†πŸ†πŸ†πŸ†πŸ†πŸ†πŸ’¦πŸ’¦πŸ’¦πŸ’¦πŸ’¦πŸ’¦πŸ’¦) Lukashenko Sex Tapes (these are pretty expensive, a collection of Vladdy Daddy and Lukashenskank cumming with every position in the KamasutraπŸ’ƒπŸ•Ίβ™‹πŸ‡πŸ•) Nuke-In-Crack Challenge (the most expensive one! This is where he fills his hole with the invaluable Russian crude oil and tries to fit a Nuclear Warhead up his ass! β›½β˜’οΈπŸ‘πŸŽ†) What u guys think?
March 2022

Russian Ukrainian War

Why is my BLACK friend so racist?

So I was playing chess with my BLACK friend the other day and something rather curious happened. As we were about to start playing he asked, β€œCould I play as white this time?” Why is my BLACK friend being so racist????? Clearly your color doesn’t matter and as privileged white man myself I could not bear listening to these words!!!!!! Black? White? It’s all the same guys!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
September 2021

Chess

I hate spam, its so overrated

twitchquotes: I hate spam, its so overrated. Thank you mods for keeping our chat experience so pristine and enjoyable! BlessRNG
twitch chat
August 2017

Ban one 12 year old, get the whole 9gag

twitchquotes: :tf: BAN :tf: ONE :tf: 12 :tf: YEAR :tf: OLD :tf: AND :tf: YOU :tf: GET :tf: THE :tf: WHOLE :tf: 9GAG :tf:
twitch chat
February 2017

MODS

Classic

Ban X Get The Whole Y

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