[Copypasta] I was born with glass bones and paper skin

twitchquotes: haHAA I was born with glass bones and paper skin. Every morning I break my legs, and every afternoon I break my arms. At night, I lie awake in agony until my heart attacks put me to sleep. haHAA
twitch chat
August 2017
I used to be a real ad
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Puts on sunglasses

Sounds to me like... ( โ€ข_โ€ข) ( โ€ข_โ€ข)>โŒโ– -โ–  [punch line] ๏ปฟ(โŒโ– _โ– )
ascii art
October 2021

What if we all spam the same thing?

twitchquotes: ๐Ÿค” what ๐Ÿค” if ๐Ÿค” we ๐Ÿค” all ๐Ÿค” spam ๐Ÿค” the ๐Ÿค” same ๐Ÿค” thing? ๐Ÿค”
twitch chat
May 2017

Christian Father is concerned with Fortnite

twitchquotes: Hello everyone, concerned Christian father here. Recently, my 11 year old son downloaded the video game "Fortnite" after playing it at a friend's house. While I didn't mind at first, it soon began to affect his character. Within a week, he had taken up hard drugs and smoking. When asked to do his homework, he called me a "default" and did a strange dance. His grades have been dropping heavily ever since that day and now he's threatening me with violence. Yesterday I entered his room to see him smoking a cigar and playing extremely loud rave (sinner) music, he has dyed his hair blue and neow refuses to go to Bible Study unless we "take the battle bus". I don't know what that is but he refuses to take any form of transport except that. Please I am so concerned, what do I do?
twitch chat
January 2019

Fortnite

Hi, my name is Bill Gates and today Iโ€™ll teach you how to count to ten

twitchquotes: Hi, my name is Bill Gates and today Iโ€™ll teach you how to count to ten: 1, 2, 3, 95, 98, NT, 2000, XP, Vista, 7, 8, 10
twitch chat
October 2014

Classic

I have done it, 80 years and not a single nut bust

twitchquotes: I have done it, 80 years and not a single nut bust. Thanks to my incredible goal i have obtained an iq of 156 which i have used to build a pc that deletes system 32 when it loads any type of NSFW. Iโ€™m currently in a hospital bed dying of terminal disease, however, this is a victory as in 72 hours iโ€™m expected to die. Wish me luck in this final run.
twitch chat
November 2020
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