[Copypasta] I was born with glass bones and paper skin

twitchquotes: haHAA I was born with glass bones and paper skin. Every morning I break my legs, and every afternoon I break my arms. At night, I lie awake in agony until my heart attacks put me to sleep. haHAA
twitch chat
August 2017
I used to be a real ad
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Year 2020 Jared loses a game in D3

twitchquotes: Year 2020 Jared loses a game in D3 , but he manages to think positively... If something is wrong, fix it if you can. But train yourself not to worry. Worry never fixes anything... he continues to lose another game.... I like the dreams of the future better than the history of the past... is what he tells himself... he loses another one ... and reaches for the glock
twitch chat
April 2016
Annie Bot

Boosted Animal Jared

League of Legends

Malta vs Penguins

This does not change the fact that in Antarctica there are 21 million penguins and in Malta there are 502,653 inhabitants. So if the penguins decide to invade Malta, each Maltese will have to fight 42 penguins.
May 2021

Classic

So as a joke, I fucked my friend in a Pekora cosplay

So as a joke, I went to my friend's house wearing Pekora's wig and clothes. I could barely stop my laughter as he went as red as a tomato and looked at me from head to toe with a bit of drool in his mouth. The way he stared made mde feel a bit funny too, but I decided to tease him more by taking off my clothes. He asked me, "Are you serious?" and I said "Yep peko." He went silent for what seemed like forever, so I asked him, "What's the matter peko?" He said he's confused, but then his boner got really hard, which made me take off his clothes. I expected him to scream, "Stop!" as I kissed him and stroked his cock, but he instead shouted "Oh God, Pekora!" which made me get a boner myself. Before I knew it, I was blowing him for the first time till he came. His semen was so thick, it got stuck inside my throat no matter how hard I swallowed. He then said, "I want to fuck you now!" and seeing that we've already gone that far and we were both naked, I obliged. A few hours later, the jerk went all pale and said to me "Why did we do that? Now I'm not fucking straight." But he still looked so cute all confused like that, so I took pity on him and reassured while wiping his cum off my face, "Let's just pretend I'ms till Pekora."
September 2021

Please don't use Kappa

twitchquotes: I am from Japan and was raised hearing terrifying stories about kappas from my grandfather. Those are horrible turtle-like monsters who lure and kill children. And then I join this site and see you use it as a joke with a grey faced man. This is not right! I am scared of using the chat now, bringing me bad memories. Please, don't use that emote.
twitch chat
September 2020

Are ya winning, son?

⢸⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⡷⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠢⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠈⠑⢦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠖⠒⠒⠒⢤⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⢦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⢸⠀⠀⣀⢤⣼⣀⡠⠤⠤⠼⠤⡄⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⢄⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⢸⠀⠀⠑⡤⠤⡒⠒⠒⡊⠙⡏⠀⢀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠑⠢⡄⠀ ⢸⠀⠀⠀⠇⠀⣀⣀⣀⣀⢀⠧⠟⠁⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀ ⢸⠀⠀⠀⠸⣀⠀⠀⠈⢉⠟⠓⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸ ⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢱⡖⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸ ⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⢺⠧⢄⣀⠀⠀⣀⣀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸ ⢸⠀⠀⠀⣠⠃⢸⠀⠀⠈⠉⡽⠿⠯⡆⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸ ⢸⠀⠀⣰⠁⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠉⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸ ⢸⠀⠀⠣⠀⠀⢸⢄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸ ⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⢇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸ ⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡌⠀⠈⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸ ⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠃⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸ ⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠷
ascii art
July 2020
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