[Copypasta] I was born with glass bones and paper skin

twitchquotes: haHAA I was born with glass bones and paper skin. Every morning I break my legs, and every afternoon I break my arms. At night, I lie awake in agony until my heart attacks put me to sleep. haHAA
twitch chat
August 2017
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

What if TF2 injuries were more realistic?

Just imagine: You are playing 2fort as RED team and pick heavy, you get out of spawn when suddenly a Pyro with the Homewrecker hits you square on the head. Your Heavy falls down and makes a weird snoring sound and has a nasty gash in his head with clear fluid running out of his ears. Then for like 30 minutes the screen goes black and you hear Heavy being transported into an ambulance. After the 30 mins Heavy opens his eyes a little. It looks like hes in the ICU and is currently getting artificially ventilated. Then the screen goes black again for 3 days until Heavy opens his eyes a little to see a woman, presumably heavys wife, crying beside his bed. She says something but it seems like Heavy doesnt understand anything she is saying, only thing you clearly make out is "permanent brain damage" and how sorry she is for never talking you out of your Mercenary profession. Then the screen goes black for another 5 months with some short times of conciousness inbetween until you see the same woman with 2 kids talking to your doctor in the ICU. All you can make out is that they decided to end your suffering and pull the plug. The last thing you see is heavys eyes closing, until you suddenly respawn in RED Spawn.
January 2021

Donkey Kong

โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–โ–ˆโ–Œโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–โ–ˆโ–Œโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–ˆโ–’โ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–„โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–„โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–„โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ”€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ”€โ”€ โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–’โ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–Œโ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„ โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–„โ–’โ–ˆโ–‘โ–โ–โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ”€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–Œโ–Œโ–‘โ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–’โ–ˆโ–‘โ–โ–โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–„โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ–„โ–„โ”€โ”€โ–Œโ–Œโ–‘โ–ˆโ–’โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–’โ–ˆโ–‘โ–โ–โ–„โ”€โ–€โ–€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ–€โ–€โ”€โ–„โ–Œโ–Œโ–‘โ–ˆโ–’โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–’โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–€โ”€โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–’โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–„โ–ˆ โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€ โ”€โ–€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ–€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€
ascii art
September 2021

Shrek

โข€โกดโ ‘โก„โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โฃ€โฃ€โฃคโฃคโฃคโฃ€โก€โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ ธโก‡โ €โ ฟโก€โ €โ €โ €โฃ€โกดโขฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃทโฃฆโก€โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โ ‘โข„โฃ โ พโ โฃ€โฃ„โกˆโ ™โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃ†โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โข€โก€โ โ €โ €โ ˆโ ™โ ›โ ‚โ ˆโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโ ฟโกฟโขฟโฃ†โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โข€โกพโฃโฃ€โ €โ ดโ ‚โ ™โฃ—โก€โ €โขปโฃฟโฃฟโ ญโขคโฃดโฃฆโฃคโฃนโ €โ €โ €โข€โขดโฃถโฃ† โ €โ €โข€โฃพโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃทโฃฎโฃฝโฃพโฃฟโฃฅโฃดโฃฟโฃฟโกฟโข‚โ ”โขšโกฟโขฟโฃฟโฃฆโฃดโฃพโ โ ธโฃผโกฟ โ €โข€โกžโ โ ™โ ปโ ฟโ Ÿโ ‰โ €โ ›โขนโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃŒโขคโฃผโฃฟโฃพโฃฟโกŸโ ‰โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โฃพโฃทโฃถโ ‡โ €โ €โฃคโฃ„โฃ€โก€โ ˆโ ปโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโก‡โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ ‰โ ˆโ ‰โ €โ €โขฆโกˆโขปโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃถโฃถโฃถโฃถโฃคโฃฝโกนโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโก‡โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ ‰โ ฒโฃฝโกปโขฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃทโฃœโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโก‡โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โขธโฃฟโฃฟโฃทโฃถโฃฎโฃญโฃฝโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โฃ€โฃ€โฃˆโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโ ‡โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โขฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโ ƒโ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ นโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโกฟโ Ÿโ โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ ‰โ ›โ ปโ ฟโ ฟโ ฟโ ฟโ ›โ ‰
ascii art
November 2018

Shrek

Classic

Albert Einsteinerino

twitchquotes: hello kripp, my name is Albert Einsteinerino, and I've been a huge fan of yours. You've inspired me to quit my physics degree and pursue my dream of playing video games all day asking for donations from people. Thank you for motivating me to go after my dream
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Walk down isle to Space Jam and merry Hafu

twitchquotes: Hello kripp, I am psychic peter pasterino who can predict the futurino. I have mind visioned that in 5 years you will walk down the isle to Space Jam and topkiss your bride, Hafu. There were many Well Mets and toasts with OJ. If you wish for this to come true, though, you must proclaim your true love for her soon before it is too laterino.
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp
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