[Copypasta] I was born with glass bones and paper skin

twitchquotes: haHAA I was born with glass bones and paper skin. Every morning I break my legs, and every afternoon I break my arms. At night, I lie awake in agony until my heart attacks put me to sleep. haHAA
twitch chat
August 2017
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Ameng be thy name

twitchquotes: Our father who rolls in heaven, Ameng be thy name. thy goats may come, thy will be shattered, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily cheese, and forgive us our throwing, as we forgive those who throw against us, and lead us not into Mayhem, but deliver us from Justice.
twitch chat
May 2019
OverwatchLeague

Overwatch

I Summon Fish Moley

twitchquotes: FishMoley By FishMoley All FishMoley That FishMoley Is FishMoley Holy FishMoley I FishMoley Summon FishMoley Fish FishMoley Moley
twitch chat
June 2017

Noobmaster, hey it’s Thor again

twitchquotes: Noobmaster, hey it’s Thor again. You know, the god of thunder? Listen buddy, if you don’t log off this game immediately I will fly over to your house, and come down to that basement you’re hiding in and rip off your arms and shove them up your butt! Oh, that’s right, yea just go cry to your father you little weasel.
twitch chat
April 2019

which position would you be in a human centipede?

When asked "which position would you be in a human centipede?" most would answer "first." I, however would answer third. Why you ask? When asked "which position would you be in a human centipede?" most would answer "first." I, however, would answer third. Why you ask? When the first member of the centipede is fed, they will eventually defecate forcing the second member to ingest their feces. One could imagine that would be considered incredibly disgusting. As such, the second member would immediately vomit. After vomit travels into the first member's anus and up into their colon, they'll then pust another load into the second member's mouth even more disgusting than the last. The third member would never ingest the feces of the second member as they will always vomit what the first member expels back into them. The third member of the centipede gets to chill while the first and second trade a volley of shitty barf with each other forever.
May 2022

Ban Hammer

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢉⣴⣶⣌⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⢃⣴⣿⣇⡙⢿⣷⣄⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡟⢋⣴⣿⣿⣄⠨⣍⡀⠙⣿⡇⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⡿⢉⣴⣿⣿⡈⣉⠛⢷⣌⣻⣿⠟⣡⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⢃⣴⠿⢋⣉⠻⢧⡈⢴⣦⣾⠟⢡⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⡘⢿⣷⣌⠁⣶⢌⣿⣾⠟⢡⣶⣌⠛⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣷⣦⠙⢿⣷⣤⣾⠟⣡⣶⣦⠙⢿⣷⣌⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣆⣉⣉⣡⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⡙⢿⣷⣄⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣤⡙⢿⣷⣌⠛⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⠙⢿⣷⣌⠹⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⡙⢁⣴⣦⠙ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣌⠛⢋⣴
December 2019
Text-to-Speech Playing