twitchquotes:
▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ஜ۩۞۩ஜ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ 
♪ ♫ ((( 
))) ♫ ♪ ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ஜ۩۞۩ஜ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬
♪ ♫ ((( ))) ♫ ♪ ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ஜ۩۞۩ஜ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬
twitch chat
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas
Penis Inspection Day
twitchquotes:
I was talking to some people I know, and apparently I'm the only person who remembers "Penis Inspection Day" in Elementary School. The gym teacher took us into the washroom one at a time while everyone else kept playing, and tugged our foreskin back and inspected our penis to make sure we were developing properly and keeping clean. Surely I can't be the only one who remembers this, other people must have had Penis Inspection Day at their school too.
twitch chat
Masturbating to Dream during class
Competitive Super Smash Bros Melee has reached its zenith
twitchquotes:
The year is 20XX. Competitive Super Smash Bros Melee has reached its zenith. No longer are matches decided through complex inputs and tactics. It began when some questioned the idea of matchups against characters. The community realized that gameplay no longer mattered, and only the character. Tournaments became complex games of rock-paper-scissors, and eventually another epiphany was had. Why bother with deciding afterwards and wasting time when the match could be decided before it began? Thus, referees decided who won and who lost automatically using a combination of facial recognition AI, mandatory reflex tests, and standardized quizzes and tests on military tactics and stratagem. With time, tests weren't even needed. Judges became so acute at deciding who won and who lost that tournaments happened in seconds, and results uploaded in less. The final destination was reached. Babies were bred and engineered to become the most desirable "players", if one could call it that. Soon, humanity ceased to think, and became mindless slaves to the autonomous ones and zeroes that decided their worth, ironically becoming the machines they once played with.
twitch chat
Super Smash Bros
Nintendo Reggie
⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣿⣧⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠸⠟⠛⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠉⠉⠈⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⢀⠄⠄⣠⠠⠄⠄⠸⣽⣿⣷⠄⠄⢀⣴⡆⠄⢀⡀⠄⢀⣤⣔⣿⣆⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⣼⣧⣼⣿⣦⢶⣲⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣜⣿⣿⣟⣿⣣⣵⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠄⠄
⠄⠄⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⡟⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠛⠿⠛⠉⠉⠉⠋⠁⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⡿⢻⣿⣿⣾⣶⣦⣤⣴⣶⣦⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⣐⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⢹⣿⣷⣿⣿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠛⠛⠉⠉⠉⠑⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣰⡧⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣳⣦⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣿⡿⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣿⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠏⠍⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣴
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣼⣿
I accidentally ran over my wife’s pet rabbit with my car
So my wife works from home and she is a graphic designer. She is working from home because the rabbit is very needy and cannot be apart from her without screaming it’s head off.
She barely leaves the house due to this and it is difficult because I have to do everything for her and them that requires leaving the house. Whenever we go anywhere together the rabbit has to go with her. However since that post was posted I had developed a plan with the help from some dms and comments
I had been acting sick all night and all morning and convinced my wife to go to the market for me to get me medicine. Some Tylenol and cough syrup. She was worried about the rabbit and suggested taking it with her but I somehow convinced her to go without it. We live in a rural area and the closest store is about 20 minutes away. So I hatched my plan as soon as she left.
I grabbed that little shit by the neck and while it kicked and screamed I put it into an Amazon box and rushed to the car with it. Initially the plan was to release him into the wild so I drove to the closest wild spot which happens to be a campsite and let the little parasite out.
He is partially blind so he just sat there for a bit and I pushed it closer to the grass off the gravel parking lot and it started sniffing around and shit. At this point I thought I was home free and I got into the car to leave but the little shit noticed me getting in and ran towards the car when I started it and moved the car over a bump and I heard a scream.
I didn’t know what to do do I started driving and stopped the car a little further away and it was lying there on the gravel parking lot as I started to panic. I didn’t want to kill it I just wanted it gone. Instead I drove over it like a speed bump.
I put him back into the box and Drove to the vet. My wife is calling my phone I don’t know what to do, I’m writing this in the waiting room of the vet. I fucked up. The whole thing is a blur.
Edit: rabbit is alive, driving home, will update