[Copypasta] Dont mind me just turning it to gold

twitchquotes: GivePLZ TBCheesePull Kappa TBCheesePull TakeNRG Dont mind me just turning it to gold
twitch chat
April 2017
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

Response to "go fuck yourself"

What if I'm already fucking myself? Behind this simple insult hides a universal paradox that may put your sexuality in question. Let's do a simple thought experiment: imagine us two standing in front of each other. I, of course, am wearing a pair of jeans, that are covering my genitals and my butt. You then command me to "go fuck myself". I may be fucking myself already. I may as well not be fucking myself already. Until my dick and its position relative to my ass is observed, it is simultaneously in my ass, but also outside of it - thus, it stays in superposition. The moment you lay eyes on my penis, both states collide with each other and become either one. You may have already guessed what the problem here is. As soon as a single photon reflected by my dick enters either one of your eyes, you become gay. The only way to avoid this is to not observe my penis. But if you don't look at it, then you will never know if your insult had any effect, thus rendering it meaningless. Since you have already made the insult, you are now, too, in superposition - you're either wrong, or gay. It's unfortunate, really - you dug a hole for yourself without even knowing it. All you can do now is accept it, and learn from your mistakes.
April 2020

Classic

Bears after a green day

It’s 4:01pm. Bears solemnly log out of their devastated brokerage account, get up from their makeshift desk made up of a stack of empty Michelina’s frozen lasagna dinners, head up the stairs of their father’s basement, grab the keys to their tan ‘97 Chevy Cavalier and a cloth mask embroidered with the word “VOTE,” and drive down the street to the local gay bar for a holiday themed burlesque show.
December 2021

WallStreetBets

in germany we have a beautiful saying if you like a girl

twitchquotes: in germany we have a beautiful saying if you like a girl "deine mutter lutscht schwänze in der hölle" it means your smile brightens my day :) Please no copy pasta
twitch chat
July 2017

KFC rejection letter

Hi Sophie, Thank you for your application to Team KFC. We're cluckin' delighted you're keen to join our flock, however at this moment in time your skills aren't the secret recipe the Colonel is looking for. But we'd love to hear from you again when you have some more experience under your wing, so please give us a cluck if you would like to apply in the future. Best Wishes, Team KFC
October 2021

NA COMING THROUGH

twitchquotes: NA COMING THROUGH ♿ GO TO SCHOOL RISK LIFE ♿ 10 IQ PRESIDENT ♿ GETTING MY SISTER PREGNANT ♿ WALL ♿ THINK THEY SAVED WORLD WAR ♿ NA EDUCATION ♿ GOVERNMENT SO BAD HAD TO SHUT DOWN
twitch chat
February 2019

EU vs NA

Text-to-Speech Playing