[Copypasta] I'm just a poor pasta maker

twitchquotes: I'm just a poor pasta maker struggling to make a living in this world. I may not be as fast as those big pasta factories with their fancy machines, but I am committed to providing you a quality pasta experience. I use only the freshest and dankest artisanal memes, and I can assure you that when you RIP in spaghetti, you'll never forgetti.
twitch chat
January 2017
I used to be a real ad
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Malta vs Penguins

This does not change the fact that in Antarctica there are 21 million penguins and in Malta there are 502,653 inhabitants. So if the penguins decide to invade Malta, each Maltese will have to fight 42 penguins.
May 2021

Classic

I'm already Tracer

twitchquotes: โ“ Maybe Iโ€™ll be Tracer ๐Ÿ˜›๐Ÿ’จ๐Ÿ•ฐ๏ธ โ— Iโ€™m already Tracer ๐Ÿณ๏ธโ€๐ŸŒˆ๐Ÿ‘ฉโ€โค๏ธโ€๐Ÿ’‹โ€๐Ÿ‘ฉ โ” What about Widowmaker ๐Ÿ’œ๐Ÿ•ท๏ธ โ• Iโ€™m already Widowmaker ๐Ÿ•ธ๏ธ ๐Ÿ‘Œ๐Ÿฟ๐Ÿ’ฏIโ€™ll be Bastion ๐Ÿค– ๐Ÿšซ Nอ˜อžEอžอ Rฬทอ˜FอŸ อžอ BASอžฬขTฬงอขIOฬขNอŸา‰า‰ โšฐ๏ธ ๐Ÿคท Youโ€™re right; so, Winston ๐Ÿต๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿฟ ๐ŸŒ I wanna be Winston ๐Ÿฆ ๐Ÿ—ก๏ธ I guess Iโ€™ll be Genji ๐Ÿฑโ€๐Ÿ‘ค ๐Ÿ˜ Iโ€™m already Genji ๐Ÿ‘ค ๐Ÿ’€ Then Iโ€™ll be McCree ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿ‘Œ ๐Ÿ”ซ I already chose McCree ๐Ÿ•›โ˜ ๏ธ โœ‹ I have an idea ๐Ÿ™‹ โ“ Whatโ€™s your idea? ๐Ÿค” ๐Ÿ™Œ You should beโ€” ๐Ÿ˜‡๐Ÿฆถ ๐Ÿ™… Iโ€™m not gonna be Mercy โ€ผ๏ธโœจ
twitch chat
November 2018

Emoji Pasta

Overwatch

Imagine Fortnite Jonesy in Smash

Imagine this: You're watching the new Nintendo Direct. As it begins you hope to see the new smash reveal, and are hoping you get the character you so desperately wanted, whether it's Crash Bandicoot or Sora. The trailer begins with the classic smash opening. As you watch the trailer, you begin to feel hope that your dream may have come true. But then, at the part where the character is revealed, you hear a bus horn, and wonder "Is it coming from outside?" But no. It's from the trailer. You watch a manly figure drop out of the sky, landing gracefully in front of the characters he is about to defeat. It gazes upon his sharp-bladed pickaxe, his luxurious blond hair, and his shining silver dog tags. As the sun fades away, you finally see who it really was: It was Jonesy from Fortnite. It's a long shot, I know. But imagine.
September 2021

Fortnite

Super Smash Bros

My daughter is dating a douche-bag (response to /r/cryptocurrency post)

My daughter is dating a douche-bag I don't know where I messed up, I thought I taught her well on what to look for in a man. The guy just showed up at my house and starting rambling on about how DCAing 30 dollars in 4 months into Safemoon helped him understand finance and geopolitics. I told him he was completely oblivious about being in a ponzi, this only unchained a what I believed to be a cocaine induced speech saying that Safemoon was going to be the next Bitcoin and he was going to moon while buying "lambos" for his friends because he was no "Bitch-ass paperhands". I'm a bank executive, so you can only imagine what a nightmare this is for me. Don't know what the point of this post is, is not like my daughter is going to stop dating that idiot anyways. I'm scared about my daughter's future.
September 2021

Cryptocurrency

moon2LULT wasn't dropped due to lack of popularity

twitchquotes: Don't get it twisted chat. moon2LULT wasn't dropped due to lack of popularity or for a better emote or anything. It was a selfish desire to personally absolve the broadcaster of his poor use of ultimate abilities. He wants to forget, but this we cannot allow. Every McCree Q to respawn, we moon2LULT. Every Winston ult jumping off the edge, we moon2LULT. Every time he presses Q at 20 HP and dies instantly, we moon2LULT. You must be vigilant, vertical scrolling communication room. moon2LULT
twitch chat
June 2017
MOONMOON
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