[Copypasta] I'm just a poor pasta maker

twitchquotes: I'm just a poor pasta maker struggling to make a living in this world. I may not be as fast as those big pasta factories with their fancy machines, but I am committed to providing you a quality pasta experience. I use only the freshest and dankest artisanal memes, and I can assure you that when you RIP in spaghetti, you'll never forgetti.
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January 2017
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Iā€™m struggling to accept religious people as human (/r/atheism parody)

This has been growing in me for a while, but the more I see whatā€™s going on in africa and the middle east, and all the bullshit around the world in the name of religion, Iā€™ve gotten to a point where Iā€™m looking at all religious people as not even human. I donā€™t know if I quite see them as livestock or wild animals or whatever, but itā€™s pretty close to it. I still donā€™t understand why people say to respect other peopleā€™s religious beliefs. I certainly donā€™t. I actually think religious beliefs should be mocked, ripped apart, criticized relentlessly, and actually probably be made illegal. I hope to see a future where believers are looked at as mentally ill and mentally retarded, who need to be locked up and treated, or sent to jail. Iā€™m just so disgusted by all of them.
June 2021

Can't focus on sex with the Food Network on

twitchquotes: Iā€™m married and have a 4 year old so sex needs to be done in window opportunities. Whatever channel the TV is on in the background is what itā€™s going to be. Food Network is the hardest to have sex to by far. So if for example Guy Fieri Triple D comes on and I hear ā€œweā€™re going to Seattle for some funky BBQ fish empanadasā€ while having sex my brain is ā€œyes sex! But those empanadas sound crazy...dude focus on sex....thatā€™s a shit load of jalapeƱos, that would give me heartburn for a week....Ok back to focusing on the sex....oh shit heā€™s going to a bbq pit in Austin next that does burnt tips in white cheddar Mac and Cheese!!! I gotta wrap this upā€
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May 2019

Kangaroos vs Uruguayans

This does not change the fact that in Australia there are 48 million kangaroos and in Uruguay there are 3,457,380 inhabitants. So if the kangaroos decide to invade Uruguay, each Uruguayan will have to fight 14 kangaroos...
October 2021

This message adds zero value to your life

twitchquotes: This message adds zero value to your life. I hope you enjoyed reading this, because I enjoyed typing it out. If you are still reading this, I would just like to tell you that you are wasting your time. If you think anything positive will come out of this final sentence, you are mistaken
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October 2014
Kripp

Statue for Hitler's assassin

Has anyone noticed this bullshit? It's honestly unfair how people like Churchill and Roosevelt got honoured for their leadership during WW2, but once you mention that Hitler's assassin should get honored as well, everybody fucking gets mad and starts calling you names. I cannot believe that people haven't honored Adolf in any way, shape or form for killing Hitler! I think one way we should honor Adolf is by building a giant statue of him in Berlin, the place where he killed Hitler by shooting him in the head, but the goddamn liberals aren't letting us do that! Instead, they claim that Adolf was "evil" and "a dictator", like bitch that's Hitler not Adolf you're mixing them up retard...
January 2021
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