[Copypasta] I'm just a poor pasta maker

twitchquotes: I'm just a poor pasta maker struggling to make a living in this world. I may not be as fast as those big pasta factories with their fancy machines, but I am committed to providing you a quality pasta experience. I use only the freshest and dankest artisanal memes, and I can assure you that when you RIP in spaghetti, you'll never forgetti.
twitch chat
January 2017
What happened to this ad? :(
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WHERE IS SODAPOPPIN?

twitchquotes: ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ PANTS ARE DOWN, DICK IS FLOPPIN, WHERE THE FUCK IS SODAPOPPIN ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ
twitch chat
May 2019
sodapoppin

Am I the asshole for dropping my 6 year old son at an orphanage for his inability to trade options?

This started about 4 years ago when my son was 2 years old. I started to supplement his picture books and cartoons with beginner options books and Martin Shkerli's live videos on how to pick pharmaceutical stocks. Over the course of these years I feel like he has retained absolutely nothing even though I have spent every waking minute trying to make him understand. I have done almost everything that I have thought of including having Jerome Powell's speeches play while he is sleeping and only having Warren Buffet on the TV to try and make him understand the market. I felt as though I got to a breaking point when he couldn't differentiate between a straddle and a strangle even though we we went through different strategies for almost a month straight. I finally convinced my wife that we were doing the right thing when I said that he will soon be a Wendy's worker begging his wife's husband for a weekly allowance because he will never amount to be anything. I couldn't fathom raising a kid who was not able to able to make a profit from trading options by the time he was 10. With all that said if anyone wants a 6 year old child who is shitty at market strategy check out Eternal Sunny Orphanage in Omaha, Nebraska and maybe your luck will be better than mine with him.
September 2021

Am I The Asshole?

WallStreetBets

Don't talk in the chat unless you're classed as high sr

twitchquotes: Don't talk in the chat unless you're classed as high sr (2000+) FailFish keep chat high quality
twitch chat
June 2019
OverwatchLeague

Overwatch

AITA for ending my marriage over Animal Crossing??

I (65m) and my wife 24(f) have been together for 8 years, married for 4. All my friends are jealous that i was able to score such a hot young woman but it’s starting to cause some problems in our relationship believe it or not. When the pandemic hit, I was very nervous since I’m not in great health. We decided to buy the Nintendo Switch and play this game called Animal Crossing. I guess it’s popular with the kids? Anywho, we start building this town and everything was fine at first. Then, my wife decides that she wants to remodel the town. No problem. But she starts cutting down all the trees, destroying the cliffs, removing the river, etc... I told her this is out of line. We should respect nature not destroy it. Her answer? It was ugly and she didn’t like to walk the long way around. She also takes all of my hard earned money from fishing and gambles it all away on turnip stocks. Last week she spent 400k on turnips and sold them for 260k. Do you know how many red snappers I need to catch to make that back up? I’m trying to retire soon and it’s making me think she doesn’t know how to manage money. What really drove me to the breaking point, my best friend Boon is on the island and we really get along. He likes to lift weights, so do I. I log into the game one day and build him a gift. When I try to find him, he’s nowhere to be found... I ask, where is boon? She doesn’t answer. Where is Boon ?? She says “I kicked him off the island, he was annoying”. Reddit, she kicked my best friend off the island without even talking to me. The next day I filed for divorce and kicked her out. I’m keeping the switch and rebuilding our town. Hopefully Boon comes back. AITA or did I doge a bullet with my sociopathic (ex)wife? Edit: Thank you all for the support and messages over the last 24hrs. It’s been a wild day but the good news is that after a few hours of island hopping I was able to find Boon and convince him to come back to my island. Seems like things are heading in the right direction.
August 2021

AITA

10 years since Dota 2 update

twitchquotes: １０　ｙｅａｒｓ　ｓｉｎｃｅ　Ｄｏｔａ　２　ｕｐｄａｔｅ．　Ｉ　ｗａｌｋ　ｔｈｒｏｕｇｈ　ｔｈｅ　ｅ ｍｐｔｙ　ｓｔｒｅｅｔｓ　ｔｒｙｉｎｇ　ｔｏ　ｔｈｉｎｋ　ｏｆ　ｓｏｍｅｔｈｉｎｇ　ｅｌｓｅ　ｂｕｔ 　Ｉ　ａｌｗａｙｓ　ｅｎｄ　ｕｐ　ｓｉｔｔｉｎｇ　ｈｅｒｅ，　ｉｎ　ｆｒｏｎｔ　ｏｆ　ｍｙ　ｃｏｍｐ ｕｔｅｒ．　Ｉ　ｓｔａｒｅ　ａｔ　ｔｈｅ　ｓｃｒｅｅｎ　ｆｏｒ　ｈｏｕｒｓ　ａｎｄ　ｔｒｙ　ｔｏ　ｓ ｕｍｍｏｎ　Icefrog．　Ｉ　ｗａｔｃｈ　ｏｔｈｅｒ　ｇａｍｅｓ　ｕｐｄａｔｉｎｇ　ａｎｄ　ｇｅ ｔｔｉｎｇ　ｎｅｗ　ｈｅｒｏｅｓ　ｂｕｔ　ｉｔ　ｉｓ　ｎｏ　ｇｏｏｄ．　Ｉ　ｃｏｕｎｔｅｒ　ｐｉｃｋ 　Ｓｎｉｐｅｒ　ｔｏ　ｒｅｓｉｓｔ　ｔｈｅ　ｍｅｔａ，　ｂｕｔ　ｉｔ'ｓ　ａｌｌ　ｍｅａｎｉｎｇｌｅ ｓｓ．　Ｔｈｅ　ｅｎｄ　ｉｓ　ｎｅａｒ．　Ｔｈｅｎ　Ｉ　ｌｏｏｋ　ｏｎ　ｔｈｅ　ｐａｔｃｈ－ｕｐｄａ ｔｅ　ｈｉｓｔｏｒｙ　ａｎｄ　ｃｒｙ　ｍｙｓｅｌｆ　ｔｏ　ｓｌｅｅｐ．
twitch chat
April 2015
SingSing

Dota 2

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