[Copypasta] Jebaited isn't so great? Are you kidding me?

twitchquotes: Jebaited isn't so great? Are you kidding me? When was the last time you saw a meme with such influence and beauty in Twitch chat? Jebaited takes Twitch to another level, and we will be blessed if we ever see another Twitch meme with the same level of memeness. Unite my Twitch brothers! We will forever sing in the old Jewish hymn: "Kappa outdated. PogChamp overrated. Long have we waited. Now we Jebaited."
twitch chat
January 2017
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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Wife wants to leave me because of an NFT diamond ring

My wife loves new technology and is into cryptocurrency and so I thought it would be thoughtful to buy her a diamond ring as a NFT. I spent about 3 ETH which is like $12000 CAD. So when she got home from work I told her I had a surprise for her. I put a blindfold on my wife and guided her into our room where our computer is set up. Soon as she opened her eyes and saw what it was, she absolutely exploded with rage saying I was an asshole and was only thinking about myself. She then accused me of spending money on stupid thing and said she’s going to go find a boyfriend. I don’t know what to do in this situation. I was only thinking about HER interests and how happy she would be to receive this new technology. Plus the price of her ring will only appreciate. Stupid real diamonds only depreciate. We have now signed up for NFT relationship counselling. I have been seeking relationship advice but everyone says to buy her NFT flowers or NFT chocolates. And when I did that, that was the last straw. Wife sent me divorce papers and I converted it into NFT. I know in the long run when all these NFT’s moon. She will come crawling back.
February 2022

HERE COMES DAT BOI

twitchquotes: ✋🐸✋🐸✋🐸✋🐸 o *** waddup 👋 here 🚲 come dat bଠi🚲🚲 right🚲🚲th 🐸 ere✋✋✋ dat 🐸 boi ✔🐸 ✔if dat boi 🐸 ƽai so 💯 i sai so 💯 thats what im talking about right there 🚲 o *** (chorus: ଠ sʰᶦᵗ) mMMMMᎷМ💯 ✋✋O0ОଠＯOOＯOОଠଠOoooᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒ✋ ✋ ✋ ✋ 💯 🐸🐸🐸 👋👋 waddup
twitch chat
June 2016

Emoji Pasta

Noobmaster, hey it’s Thor again

twitchquotes: Noobmaster, hey it’s Thor again. You know, the god of thunder? Listen buddy, if you don’t log off this game immediately I will fly over to your house, and come down to that basement you’re hiding in and rip off your arms and shove them up your butt! Oh, that’s right, yea just go cry to your father you little weasel.
twitch chat
April 2019

"touch grass" is not an insult towards gamers

"touch grass" is not an insult towards gamers, rather it is advice for them. When participating in intense periods of gaming, the human hand has a tendency to get sweaty. The sweat causes the hand to become slick, and it b becomes more difficult to retain a grip on the gamers gaming mouse, thus making it more difficult to perform well in intense gaming moments. By touching grass with the gamers hand, the grass will impart a layer of particulate onto the gamers hand, the particulate can be made of a variety of dusts, dirts and other natural matter. This particulate will then act in a similar form to climbers chalk, absorbing the sweat and drying out the gamers hand. With dry hands, the gamer can now perform to their maximum when gaming. This is why when an enemy or teammate tells you to touch grass, they are simply trying to assist you in performing better.
July 2021

Classic

Send nudes but fancy

Pardon me Madam, but I was curious as to what you look like under those tasteful fabrics you are wearing. Perhaps you would do me the honor of removing them and photographing your perfect skin so I can gaze upon your beauty?
January 2021
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