[Copypasta] Twitch staff Golden Kappa

twitchquotes: ItsBoshyTime Twitch Staff here, one person in this channel will be randomly given golden Kappa in the next few minutes minutes but only if you type Kappa, good luck! ItsBoshyTime
twitch chat
August 2016
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

So last weekend I was walking in WalMart and saw Trump

twitchquotes: So last weekend I was walking in WalMart and saw Trump... which was pretty cool. I was wondering why he was in the "woman's hygeine" section of the store.... He caught on to what I was thinking and held up some tampons. "For my girlfriend", he said, giggling nervously. But he doesn't have a GF. I think they were for HIM!
twitch chat
October 2014
Trump

Lord Microsoft

10:43 PM, Microsoft Tower, Washington. A figure stands in shadow, red lights from the theistic ceiling flood the spacious hall. Along the sides, hallmark pieces of technology are proudly displayed on golden pedestals. The Xbox, Windows, Hololens; At the center of it all, the vaccine. "Microsoft Microbe Covid-19" the label on the syringe reads. A glowing substance can be seen sitting still inside. Monitors flicker to life at the end of the hall, each one showing the point of view of an innocent civilian. The light draws a silhouette of a man. His body, frail. His skin is leathery and rugged. Breathing apparatus cover his face, a cold green mist slowly spewing out. The grand door opens, humanoids armed with weapons drag an unkempt and furious man towards the being in shadow. They throw him to the floor, spit slathering the ground. "This is the last one?" the figure asks. "Yes, Lord Microsoft. all 4,607,423,673 other citizens have been accounted for." The rugged man looks upwards, his face bloodied and bruised. His eyes meet Lord Microsoft's. Puffed from tears, his eyes can only show one emotion: anger. "Bill Gates, you piece of shit. I swore to Samantha that if I ever-" "Silence, creature!" Lord Microsoft slaps him with the back of his hand. "I am lord Microsoft, and you will refer to me as such!" The guards grab the man, hoisting him up. "Now, let us delay no further. It has taken me years to get to this point, and I will not have my victory denied!" Lord Microsoft grabs the vaccine and primes it for injection. "Such a small thing, isn't it? Yet, it has afforded me the right to dominate all life on Earth. Covid was a blessing, not a curse." The man's eyes widened, he screams in retaliation, but the guards shut his mouth with force. Lord Microsoft pierces his flesh with the needle. A flourescent orange liquid can be seen coursing through his veins. He falls to the floor, his muscles tightening and constricting in unnatural fashion. His eyes bulge from his skull and he shouts in pain. He slumps over, and in only a moment he comes back to his feet. His pupils dilated and his skin, pale. "How may I serve you, my lord."
August 2021

COVID

Coronavirus

Transcript of me cleaning my keyboard and reassembling it

\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ ..//////PPPP;;;LLMNBIYNJHJNNKGBCVRYCZXXXX6Zew$;/BNM,.Z4110,HUQC////-*-*77778747474747//YU4:30 PM 23/06/20214:30 PM 23/06/20214:30 PM 23/06/20214:30 PM 23/06/20214:30 PM 23/06/20214:30 PM 23/06/20214:30 PM 23/06/20214:30 PM 23/06/20214:30 PM 23/06/20214:30 PM 23/06/20214:30 PM 23/06/20214:30 PM 23/06/20214:30 PM 23/06/20214:30 PM 23/06/20214:30 PM 23/06/20214:30 PM 23/06/20214:30 PM 23/06/2021````````````````````12222225668886666666777777777-0000000099999999999999999999================= WEEEEEQQQQQQQRYIIIIIIIUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUIIIYYYYYYYYYT] [POOOOOOOOOOO ///////..,,MNN ///'[''''''''''''''''''...,M.////////////////////////;;/;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;/....,M,LLLLLLLLLLLKKKKKKKKJJJJBVCBBBBBVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVCCCCCCCCC CCCCCC.....GBHNHZXXXXXXVGGGGGFFFFFFDDDDDDDDDD==[]]]]]]][=========MMMMMMM, KL,/,L;.,,,NMNMCL.,,,,,,,,,LKLK,L. SDADDDDSDWAXDDDDQWASEDXSSSD `1WEZESXE3ASZZZZZ ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++-+00000000000000000006311.....12223653 7+OJUSQ q
June 2021

Chat analyses Kripp's painting

twitchquotes: I honestly can't believe the idiocy of this chat sometimes. The green obviously represents Kripp's veganism, which is contrasted by the red below it, symbolizing animals and meat. The orange in the middle is a masterful representation of Kripp's balding spot, and the black strokes surrounding it are his attempts to hide it.
twitch chat
November 2018
Kripp

Joe Rogan is obsessed with cooking meat over fire

I have become obsessed with cooking meat over fire. I get prepared for it. I make sure I'm hungry before I cook it. The smell of the smoke and the aroma of the crackling meat ignites some ancient genetic memories. It makes cooking and eating significantly better.
January 2022

Joe Rogan

Text-to-Speech Playing