[Copypasta] Mesa sexual identify asa Jar Jar Binks

There's no reason to have a Dad Bod when push ups exist

There's no reason to have a Dad Bod when push ups exist. I'm always finding time to crank out a few p-ups. Ahh yep, I do maybe a thousand p-ups a day and I'm a father of two. Those nerds coloring with crayons? Time to squeeze in a few p-ups. Little dorks eating mac and cheese? It's p-up time. I'm like a leathered marble statue of a really muscular guy, my muscles are so tight and rugged. Hell, I took a p-up break while typing this comment. The ladies at work, these little work ladies, love when I crank out p-ups right there in front of them and come up off the floor red faced and with a sizeable bulge in my slacks. That bulge is unrelated to the p-ups, by the way, I'm just a guy who's always one hard nipple poking through a shirt away from a full meat platter. Hell, I'd cheat on my wife with one of these little work ladies if she wasn't one of the little work ladies I work with. We bone in the bathroom. I get jacked on p-ups and then we bone in the bathroom and there's nothing my boss can do about it because my vascularity is way too intimidating. I tell him he should do some p-ups if he wants to fuck my wife. It's the only way she gets that slizz juiced and loosed. She wants to see multitudinous p-ups and she wants to see those p-ups now! Whoops! Haha, okay, looks like she's watching me type this over my shoulder. Uh oh. See ya later, nerdbags. I'm gonna p-ups myself up to a full plumper and pump that honey ham rump of my little work lady wife.

April 2021

GIFF 2GD

twitchquotes: つ ◕_◕ ༽つ GIFF 2GD つ ◕_◕ ༽つつ ◕_◕ ༽つ GIFF 2GD つ ◕_◕ ༽つつ ◕_◕ ༽つ GIFF 2GD つ ◕_◕ ༽つつ ◕_◕ ༽つ GIFF 2GD つ ◕_◕ ༽つつ ◕_◕ ༽つ GIFF 2GD つ ◕_◕ ༽つつ ◕_◕ ༽つ GIFF 2GD つ ◕_◕ ༽つ

twitch chat

February 2016

Dota Major

Dota 2

I want Zarya's giant feet to squash my face

twitchquotes: I want Zarya's giant feet to squash my face and suffocate me and gives me no mercy, I want her to squash my head with her gigantic thighs like a hand squashes a tomato. Just knowing that she is able to do that brings me to the brink of orgasmic relief, but I know she won't smash my body with her arms hugging me like the bear emote. Fuck, why does she have to be a video game character, I want Blizzard to make sex dolls, I would buy out all the Zarya models and keep them for myself

twitch chat

June 2017

Overwatch

Wanna buy some dongers?

twitchquotes: ༼ຈل͜├┬┴┬┴ Psst… Moderator, you wanna buy some dongers?

twitch chat

January 2019

I've won 69 rounds of Fortnite

twitchquotes: 𝓛𝓘𝓼𝓽𝓮𝓷 𝓾𝓹 𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝓵𝓲𝓽𝓽𝓵𝓮 𝓫𝓲𝓽𝓬𝓱, 𝓲'𝓿𝓮 𝓫𝓮𝓮𝓷 𝓽𝓻𝓪𝓲𝓷𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓯𝓸𝓻 𝓸𝓿𝓮𝓻 90 𝔂𝓮𝓪𝓻𝓼 𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝓬𝓸𝓶𝓮 𝓱𝓮𝓻𝓮 𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝓽𝓮𝓵𝓵 𝓶𝓮 𝔂𝓸𝓾'𝓻𝓮 𝓫𝓮𝓽𝓽𝓮𝓻 𝓽𝓱𝓪𝓷 𝓶𝓮? 𝓽𝓱𝓲𝓷𝓴 𝓪𝓰𝓪𝓲𝓷 𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝓵𝓲𝓽𝓽𝓵𝓮 𝓹𝓲𝓮𝓬𝓮 𝓸𝓯 𝓼𝓱𝓲𝓽, 𝓲'𝓿𝓮 𝔀𝓸𝓷 69 𝓻𝓸𝓾𝓷𝓭𝓼 𝓸𝓯 𝓕𝓸𝓻𝓽𝓷𝓲𝓽𝓮 𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝓵𝓲𝓽𝓽𝓵𝓮 𝓲𝓭𝓲𝓸𝓽. 𝓘'𝓿𝓮 𝔀𝓸𝓷 𝓪𝓵𝓵 𝓸𝓯 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓼𝓴𝓲𝓷𝓼 𝓲𝓷 𝓕𝓸𝓻𝓷𝓝𝓲𝓽𝓮, 𝓘 𝓰𝓸𝓽 𝓪𝓵𝓵 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓰𝓾𝓷𝓼 𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝔀𝓮𝓪𝓹𝓸𝓷𝓼. 𝓨𝓸𝓾𝓻 𝓳𝓾𝓼𝓽 𝓪𝓷 𝓲𝓭𝓲𝓸𝓽 𝓼𝔀𝓪𝓽, 𝓫𝓲𝓽𝓬𝓱.

twitch chat

September 2018

[Copypasta] Mesa sexual identify asa Jar Jar Binks

There's no reason to have a Dad Bod when push ups exist

GIFF 2GD

Dota 2

I want Zarya's giant feet to squash my face

Overwatch

Wanna buy some dongers?

I've won 69 rounds of Fortnite

Fortnite

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