[Copypasta] Mesa sexual identify asa Jar Jar Binks

twitchquotes: Mesa sexual identify asa Jar Jar Binks. Ever since mesa was a boy, mesa being dreamin' to be a humble servant. Boss Nass tellin' me mesa can't bein' sex slave ina Otoh Gunga, but that smells stinkowiff. Mesa meetin' a biga man at duh Naboo, he spekin' he have uh mooey mooey poopa in hesa pants. From deesa day on, mesa will be maxi sex slave on da Naboo. If yousa a bombad and you be thinkin datsa eegad, esqueeze me but yousa how wude. Mesa bein' big thankful to yousa for duh understand.
twitch chat
July 2016
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Any advice, Dad?

twitchquotes: Kʀɪᴘᴘ, ᴛʜɪs ɪs Tʏʀᴏɴᴇ, ᴜʀ sᴏɴ. Mʏ ᴍᴏᴍ, Lᴀǫᴜɪsʜᴀ, ɴᴇᴠᴇʀ ᴛᴏʟᴅ ʏᴏᴜ ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ ᴍᴇ. I ᴊᴜsᴛ ɢᴏᴛ ᴋɪᴄᴋᴇᴅ ᴏᴜᴛ ᴏғ Cᴀɴᴀᴅɪᴀɴ ᴇʟᴇᴍᴇɴᴛᴀʀʏ sᴄʜᴏᴏʟ ғᴏʀ sᴀʏɪɴɢ "F*ᴄᴋ" ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴜ. Oʀ ᴍᴀʏʙᴇ ɪᴛ ᴡᴀs ғᴏʀ ʏᴇʟʟɪɴɢ "RIP" ᴡʜɪʟᴇ ᴘᴜɴᴄʜɪɴɢ ᴀ ᴋɪᴅ...ᴀɴʏ ᴀᴅᴠɪᴄᴇ, Dᴀᴅ?
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

Peter Griffin Brian Griffin face swap

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣤⠤⠤⣤⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡠⠚⢳⠖⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠱⠖⠉⠳⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⡸⠁⠀⠈⣠⠤⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⡀⠀⢠⠀⠀⠸⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⢀⡜⠀⣤⠀⢱⠤⢤⡎⠁⡀⠈⣦⢼⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠲⡾⠻⣄⣀⡴⠚⠃⠀⢧⡀⠁⣀⠏⠘⠦⢴⡞⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠎⠀⠀⢀⠉⢧⣀⣀⣠⠇⠉⠉⣅⠀⠀⠀⠈⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⡎⠀⠀⢠⡋⠓⠒⠶⠶⠒⠒⠚⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠰⡇⠀⠀⠀⢱⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡼⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢇⠀⠀⡔⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢆⠘⣇⠀⠀⢀⣄⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡗⠎⠙⠋⠁⠈⠓⠲⠒⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⣷⣤⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣠⣴⣿⣿⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⣀⠴⠊⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠋⠈⠳⢄⠀⠀⠀ ⢀⡞⠁⠀⡀⡄⠀⠈⠙⡟⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠛⠋⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠑⢄⠀⠀
March 2022

Today is the day I copypasta

twitchquotes: (ง ͠° ͟ل͜ ͡°)ง I have been training since before I was born, and today is the day. Today is the day I spam. (ง ͠° ͟ل͜ ͡°)ง
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Oh my gourd, I am financially ruined (agricultural futures)

I have lost everything, and I'm not sure how to continue. This summer I invested $17,500 (six months salary and my entire life savings) into ornamental gourd futures, hoping to capitalize on this lucrative emerging industry. After watching a video about Vincent Kosuga and his monopoly on onions, I decided I'd try to do something similar with another vegetable. I did some research and found out many agricultural forecasters expected this year's gourd yield would be far smaller than the past, due to deteriorating soil conditions in central Mexico and a warmer-than-average spring. At first, demand soared around Halloween and prices skyrocketed, but the gourd bubble burst on November 12th. Unfortunately, the coronavirus caused a massive drop-off in demand due to fewer families decorating their tables for thanksgiving, and prices plummeted. I had invested early enough that I thought I would still be fine, but then on the morning of December 2nd, a new email in my inbox caused my stomach to turn into a pretzel. The massive gourd shipment from Argentina, scheduled for early March, had arrived. I was planning on selling off my futures right before this, in February, but this ruined everything. To top it off, the gourds in this shipment were absolutely gargantuan, some topping 4 pounds each, causing the price-per-pound to drop like an anchor into the range of 6 cents per pound. I am ruined.
January 2021

Classic

WallStreetBets

I sexually Identify as a Bastion

twitchquotes: I sexually Identify as a Bastion. Ever since I was a transistor I dreamed of being nanoboosted and firing cannonballs on the disgusting enemy team. People tell me that being a Siege Automaton is impossible but I don't care, I'm overpowered. I’m having a plastic surgeon install treads, a gattling gun and a nanoboost on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me BOOSTED and respect my right to take 35% less damage 100% of the time. If not, you're an omnic-phobe and need to check your human privileges
twitch chat
March 2017

Overwatch

I sexually Identify as

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