[Copypasta] Mesa sexual identify asa Jar Jar Binks

twitchquotes: Mesa sexual identify asa Jar Jar Binks. Ever since mesa was a boy, mesa being dreamin' to be a humble servant. Boss Nass tellin' me mesa can't bein' sex slave ina Otoh Gunga, but that smells stinkowiff. Mesa meetin' a biga man at duh Naboo, he spekin' he have uh mooey mooey poopa in hesa pants. From deesa day on, mesa will be maxi sex slave on da Naboo. If yousa a bombad and you be thinkin datsa eegad, esqueeze me but yousa how wude. Mesa bein' big thankful to yousa for duh understand.
twitch chat
July 2016
I used to be a real ad
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level 2 power spikes not level 2 power drops

twitchquotes: Hello. This is the admin of SKILL-CAPPED.COMโ„ข. We hired you to show viewers level 2 power spikes not level 2 power drops. Please start fulfilling your contract or we take your house.
twitch chat
February 2015
imaqtpie

League of Legends

Stop getting played like a fiddle, chat!

twitchquotes: Oh my god, why do you losers care so much about these streamers and emotes and bits and stuff? You act like streamers are close friends of yours or something, but they're just manipulating you to give them money and attention. Stop getting played like a fiddle, chat! Go out and live your own damn life instead of watching someone else play video games while copy and pasting pointless blocks of text!
twitch chat
May 2019

You need a high IQ to understand Rick and Morty

To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand Rick and Morty. The humor is extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of theoretical physics most of the jokes will go over a typical viewer's head. There's also Rick's nihilistic outlook, which is deftly woven into his characterisation - his personal philosophy draws heavily from Narodnaya Volya literature, for instance. The fans understand this stuff; they have the intellectual capacity to truly appreciate the depths of these jokes, to realize that they're not just funny- they say something deep about LIFE. As a consequence people who dislike Rick and Morty truly ARE idiots- of course they wouldn't appreciate, for instance, the humour in Rick's existencial catchphrase "Wubba Lubba Dub Dub," which itself is a cryptic reference to Turgenev's Russian epic Fathers and Sons. I'm smirking right now just imagining one of those addlepated simpletons scratching their heads in confusion as Dan Harmon's genius unfolds itself on their television screens. What fools... how I pity them. ๐Ÿ˜‚ And yes by the way, I DO have a Rick and Morty tattoo. And no, you cannot see it. It's for the ladies' eyes only- And even they have to demonstrate that they're within 5 IQ points of my own (preferably lower) beforehand.
September 2017

Rick and Morty

Classic

Amogus 700 years in the future

Imagine, 700 years in the future, through some last vestige of the internet kept in an underground server, a notification miraculously appears on your device (which has been preserved in nuclear dust from the 5th world war). One night, an alien working a late shift at the museum of archeology notices the cracked screen suddenly light up, and upon it, one word arises from the battered code: Amogus. They do not know what this word means. They ponder it deeply. They scour the ancient tomes, desperate to understand its mystifying origin. It drives them mad. Is it a primeval cipher? The motto of a bygone civilization? A message from God? Night after night they study it by candlelight. They flip through pages in books so old, the slightest cough would turn the paper to a fine off-white powder. The answer is nowhere to be found. And then they are struck by a revelation: I was not meant to know this word. Its esoteric nature escapes my grasp for a reason. What if its meaning is too enlightening to bear? With this revelation comes anger. Spite. Despair. Why shouldn't I understand it?! What cosmic forces are there at play to keep me from such knowledge?! In a fit of desperate rage, they shatter your device against a wall and exclaim, arms raised to the heavens: "This is literally 1984!" Silence... Their pleas are unanswered. Sadly, in the end, their inability to unlock the word's meaning drives them to suicide. Its secrets are never known. So I ask you this: is it better to die having never understood the true mind-bending nature of Amogus, or to be driven mad by the little spaceman in his blood-red suit? If you knew enlightenment would render you incapable of living on this mortal earth without making daily references to a game of space mafia, would you accept it? With knowledge comes power, but also endless suffering. Choose wisely, and be wary when standing at the edge of that great abyss we call "the Truth," lest you fall too deep.
March 2021

Among Us / Amogus

Art of Conquest is my favorite game!

twitchquotes: Art of Conquest is my favorite game! (Thanks for agreeing to post some positive feedback about our game. Just post this in Kripp's Twitch chat as often as possible. Make sure to remove this message before you post it. Thanks! -Art of Conquest Team)
twitch chat
June 2017
Kripp

sellout

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