[Copypasta] You notice a wall of text in twitch chat

twitchquotes: You notice a wall of text in twitch chat and your hand instinctively goes to the mouse. You scroll up to stop the chat elevator and read the pasta, indulging in its delights... You soon realize that this pasta conveys no information nor is particularly witty or funny. Nevertheless, you drag your mouse across, hit Ctrl+C, then Ctrl+V and press Enter
twitch chat
March 2016

Classic

What happened to this ad? :(
More Classic Copypastas

I have to print out chat in order to read it

twitchquotes: Hey guys, my monitor isn't working. I have to print out chat in order to read it. The paper and ink are really expensive, so please don't spam! Thank you.
twitch chat
September 2018

Classic

gachiGASM

β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–“β–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–“β–“β–“β–“β–’β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–“β–“β–’β–’β–“β–“β–“β–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–“β–“β–“β–“β–’β–‘β–‘β–“β–“β–“β–’β–„β–“β–‘β–’β–„β–„β–„β–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–’β–‘β–‘β–’β–€β–€β–€β–€β–’β–‘β–„β–‘β–„β–’β–“β–“β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–’β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–“β–’β–€β–’β–€β–’β–“β–’β–“β–‘β–‘ β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–€β–€β–„β–“β–’β–“β–‘ β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–“β–€β–„β–„β–„β–„β–“β–’β–’β–’β–“ β–‘β–“β–ˆβ–€β–„β–’β–“β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–€β–’β–’β–’β–’β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–“β–ˆβ–’β–’β–„β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–“β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–“β–“β–“β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–“β–“β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–“β–’β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–“β–“β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–“β–“β–‘β–‘
April 2016

KappaPride

Classic

HELLO 911 JAKE IS IN MY ROOM

twitchquotes: 4Head HELLO 911 πŸ“ž 4Head JAKE IS IN MY ROOM πŸ“ž 4Head HE HAS A PULSE BOMB πŸ“ž 4Head WHATS THAT? πŸ“ž 4Head ILL BE OKAY? πŸ“ž 4Head
twitch chat
April 2018
OverwatchLeague

Classic

Overwatch

Response to "go fuck yourself"

What if I'm already fucking myself? Behind this simple insult hides a universal paradox that may put your sexuality in question. Let's do a simple thought experiment: imagine us two standing in front of each other. I, of course, am wearing a pair of jeans, that are covering my genitals and my butt. You then command me to "go fuck myself". I may be fucking myself already. I may as well not be fucking myself already. Until my dick and its position relative to my ass is observed, it is simultaneously in my ass, but also outside of it - thus, it stays in superposition. The moment you lay eyes on my penis, both states collide with each other and become either one. You may have already guessed what the problem here is. As soon as a single photon reflected by my dick enters either one of your eyes, you become gay. The only way to avoid this is to not observe my penis. But if you don't look at it, then you will never know if your insult had any effect, thus rendering it meaningless. Since you have already made the insult, you are now, too, in superposition - you're either wrong, or gay. It's unfortunate, really - you dug a hole for yourself without even knowing it. All you can do now is accept it, and learn from your mistakes.
April 2020

Classic

Math is "mental abuse to humans"

twitchquotes: You know how some people say that math is β€œmental abuse to humans”? Well, lemme tell you one thing: β€œMath” is an abbreviation for β€œmathematics”, so you’re only looking at 36% of the whole thing. What does the other 64% stand for? It stands for β€œexcept mostly at truly intelligently cool students”! That means, if you think math is mentally abusing you, you’re not truly intelligent or cool! You’re dumb and lame! So the next time someone gives you the first 36% of this ridiculous acronym, give them the other 64%. Don’t forget to tell them that they suck at etymology.
twitch chat
October 2020

Classic

Text-to-Speech Playing