[Copypasta] Oops I dropped my CONGA LINE

Oh my gourd, I am financially ruined (agricultural futures)

I have lost everything, and I'm not sure how to continue. This summer I invested $17,500 (six months salary and my entire life savings) into ornamental gourd futures, hoping to capitalize on this lucrative emerging industry. After watching a video about Vincent Kosuga and his monopoly on onions, I decided I'd try to do something similar with another vegetable. I did some research and found out many agricultural forecasters expected this year's gourd yield would be far smaller than the past, due to deteriorating soil conditions in central Mexico and a warmer-than-average spring. At first, demand soared around Halloween and prices skyrocketed, but the gourd bubble burst on November 12th. Unfortunately, the coronavirus caused a massive drop-off in demand due to fewer families decorating their tables for thanksgiving, and prices plummeted. I had invested early enough that I thought I would still be fine, but then on the morning of December 2nd, a new email in my inbox caused my stomach to turn into a pretzel. The massive gourd shipment from Argentina, scheduled for early March, had arrived. I was planning on selling off my futures right before this, in February, but this ruined everything. To top it off, the gourds in this shipment were absolutely gargantuan, some topping 4 pounds each, causing the price-per-pound to drop like an anchor into the range of 6 cents per pound. I am ruined.

January 2021

Classic

WallStreetBets

That's the wrong VoHiYo

twitchquotes: VoHiYo

THATS

THE

WRONG

HOLE

ONII-CHAN

KYAAAAH

twitch chat

March 2016

Weebs

Classic

Le fedora has arrived

░░░░░░░░▄▀█▀█▄██████████▄▄░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░▐██████████████████▌░░░░░ ░░░░░░░████le██fedora████████▌░░ ░░░░░░▐███████████████████▌░░░░░ ░░░░░░████has████arrived███████▄ ░░░▄█▐█▄█▀█████████████▀█▄█▐█▄░░ ░▄██▌██████▄█▄█▄█▄█▄█▄█████▌██▌░ ▐████▄▀▀▀▀████████████▀▀▀▀▄███░░ ▐█████████▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄██████▀░░░ ░░░▀▀████████████████████░░░░░░░

ascii art

February 2015

Classic

Unseen donger is the deadliest

twitchquotes: (ง ͠ ͠° ل͜ °)ง ᴛʜᴇ ᴜɴsᴇᴇɴ ᴅᴏɴɢᴇʀ ɪs ᴛʜᴇ ᴅᴇᴀᴅʟɪᴇsᴛ (ง ͠° ل͜ °)ง

twitch chat

June 2017

Classic

Kog'Maw's passive

twitchquotes: Hi Imaqtpie. I noticed that in your games you utilize Kog’Maws passive A LOT, but when I watch LCS players I see them go an ENTIRE teamfight without using their passive even ONCE. Are they playing the champion to its full potential or are you?

twitch chat

April 2015

imaqtpie

[Copypasta] Oops I dropped my CONGA LINE

Classic

Classic

Oh my gourd, I am financially ruined (agricultural futures)

Classic

WallStreetBets

That's the wrong VoHiYo

Weebs

Classic

Le fedora has arrived

Classic

Unseen donger is the deadliest

Classic

Kog'Maw's passive

Classic

League of Legends

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