[Copypasta] Dear Kripp, I own the apple orchard outside Toronto

twitchquotes: Dear Kripp, I own the apple orchard outside Toronto and I am begging you to stop drinking so much OJ. Since you became popular on the Twitch our sales have decreased by over 69% because Canadians want to be like you. For *** sake please drink some apple juice! If you continue drinking OJ, I wont be able to feed my family anymore
twitch chat
July 2015
Kripp
I used to be a real ad
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Kripp. It's Morpheus from future talking to you

twitchquotes: Hello ĸrιpp, ιт’ѕ мorpнeυѕ ғroм ғυтυre тalĸιng тo yoυ. ι нave 2 cнoιceѕ ғor yoυ, вlυe pιll or red pιll. вlυe pιll вrιngѕ yoυ lιғe, woмen, cнιleттe, dog, caт, cнιld, caѕυalιтy and no vιewerѕ. red pιll вrιngѕ yoυ nolιғe, oj, no dιѕтracтιonѕ ғroм oυтѕιde world, pro ѕтaтυѕ and vιewerѕ. cнooѕe wιѕely мιѕтer ĸrιpperѕon.
twitch chat
April 2014
Kripp

Salt Down Zone

twitchquotes: Attention: Thank you for coming to Kripp Aryan's show! The greatest show on Earth! Please, those of you in rows 1-8 must be aware you are in the "Salt Down Zone". If you do not want to be sprayed with salt, please see attendant. We have complimentary ponchos. Enjoy the show!.
twitch chat
April 2015
Kripp

Disgrace to all Morosans

twitchquotes: Ｏｃｔａｖｉａｎ Ｍｏｒｏｓａｎ， ｔｈｉｓ ｉｓ ｙｏｕｒ ｇｒｅａｔ ｇｒｅａｔ ｇｒａｎｄｐａｒｒｉａｎ， Ｉ ａｍ ｃｏｎｔａｃｔｉｎｇ ｙｏｕ ｆｒｏｍ ｂｅｙｏｎｄ ｔｈｅ ｇｒａｖｅ ｔｏ ｔｅｌｌ ｙｏｕ ｔｈａｔ ｙｏｕ ａｒｅ ａ ｄｉｓｇｒａｃｅ ｔｏ ａｌｌ Ｍｏｒｏｓａｎｓ ｂｅｃａｕｓｅ ｏｆ ｙｏｕｒ ｒｅｃｅｎｔ ｓｗｉｔｃｈ ｔｏ ｂｅｉｎｇ ａ ｃａｓｕａｌ． Ｐｌｓ ｎｏ Ｍａｓｅｒａｔｉ
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

I just spotted an inconsistency

twitchquotes: Wait a minute. I just spotted an inconsistency. Could this be the work of the CIA? Look closely... below the stream. "10,000 viewers". What the heck? There's only 7 million people in the world, how could there possibly be 10 million viewers right now?
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Kripp's kidney stone surgery

twitchquotes: There was a heated discussion among the medical experts gathered around an operating table, on which laid an unconscious Romanian man in his 30s. "The salt levels are off the charts!" exclaimed a cardiologist. The head surgeon sighs, "I guess this is what you get when you combine a vegan diet and a sedentary lifestyle playing a children's card game." Upon those words the body suddenly stirs, from which a muted voice barely croaks, "Tell...Rania...not to press...the button".
twitch chat
September 2016
Kripp
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