twitchquotes:
I would tuck frump into bed every night if I could
twitch chat
Kripp
I used to be a real ad
More Kripp Copypastas
Gordon Ramsey, chef bloody extraordinaire
twitchquotes:
Hello "Kripparrian", this is *** Gordon Ramsey, chef bloody extraordinaire. I hear you are starting a cooking show "Papparrian & Lil' Kripp's kitchen" and I would like to send you my special pasta recipe to get you started you lil fucker. cheers mate. Please no copy tagliolini, serious business
twitch chat
Kripp
There is a bunch of Twitch overlords
twitchquotes:
There is a bunch of Twitch overlords who grow batches of streamers from genetically modified eggs. When these eggs hatch and grow, they are given their first computer and start streaming a Dora the Explorer game. As they grow up, the most popular streamers advance and are given more complex games to stream, from CoD to Hearthstone. Each streamer lives in a small cubicle, and there are hundreds upon hundreds of cubicles on the grounds of the Twitch Headquarters. 
twitch chat
Kripp
Hey, Mr. Morosan, this is Mike from Video Playground
twitchquotes:
Hey, Mr. Morosan, this is Mike from Video Playground, the adult marketplace. You've been ignoring my calls about your outstanding debt of $12.99 for Big Vegan Balls IV. I'm not here to shame or embarrass you for your taste in husky, sweaty man love, but I've got a business to run, and I wouldn't be able to provide you with the entertainment you frequently enjoy if I didn't get paid. Please don't make me revoke your platinum membership.
twitch chat
Kripp
When Kripp stream Prismata, all becoming well slept
twitchquotes:
ｗｈｅｎ ｋｒｉｐｐ ｓｔｒｅａｍ Ｐｒｉｓｍａｔａ，ｍｙ ｅｙｅ ａｕｔｏｍａｔｉｃａｌｌｙ ｇｏ ｔｈｅ ｂｅｄ． ｉ ｗａｔｃｈ ｔｈｅ ｓｔｒｅａｍ ａｎｄ ｆｅｅｌ ｉ ｈａｖｅ ｓｌｅｅｐ ｗｉｔｈ ｔｈｅ ｂｅｄ． ａｌｌ ｂｅｃｏｍｉｎｇ ｗｅｌｌ ｓｌｅｐｔ.
twitch chat
Kripp