[Copypasta] Mayor of Canadaland

twitchquotes: ᴋʀɪᴘᴘ, ᴛʜɪs ɪs ᴛʜᴇ ᴍᴀʏᴏʀ ᴏғ ᴄᴀɴᴀᴅᴀʟᴀɴᴅ. ᴡᴇ ɴᴇᴇᴅ ʏᴏᴜ ʜᴏᴍᴇ ᴍʏ sᴏɴ, ᴇᴠᴇʀ sɪɴᴄᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ʟᴇғᴛ ᴜs ᴏᴜʀ sᴀʟᴛ ᴍɪɴᴇs ʜᴀᴠᴇ ʙᴇᴇɴ ʀᴜɴɴɪɴɢ ᴅʀʏ. ɴᴏ ᴏɴᴇ ɪs ᴘʀᴏᴠɪᴅɪɴɢ ᴛʜᴇsᴇ ᴘᴏᴏʀ ʜᴀʀᴅ-ᴡᴏʀᴋɪɴɢ ᴘᴇᴏᴘʟᴇ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴛʜᴇ ᴛᴀʙʟᴇ sᴀʟᴛ ᴛʜᴇʏ ᴅᴇsᴇʀᴠᴇ ғᴏʀ ᴛʜᴇɪʀ ᴅᴀɪʟʏ ᴍᴇᴀʟs. ᴡᴇ ɴᴇᴇᴅ ʏᴏᴜ ᴏᴄᴛᴀᴠɪᴀɴ.
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp
I used to be a real ad
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Hello crip, this is uggernakkerweer-taguanga from Thailand

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Subscribers pay for our entertainment

twitchquotes: ᕕ༼ •́ ヮ •̀ ༽凸 Hey SUBS, YOU PAY FOR OUR ENTERTAINMENT Kappa ᕕ༼ •́ ヮ •̀ ༽凸!!!
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You better wear the TSM T-Shirt

twitchquotes: Hello TSM_Kripp, TSM manager here. We can see that you aren't wearing our TSM T-shirt. Remember that it is a vital part of our contract. If you want the fuckmaster-vol7ron you better wear the damn shirt.
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Dear Kripp, I am a salt manufacturer from Chile

twitchquotes: Dear Kripp, I am a salt manufacturer from Chile and I would like to sponsor you and your channel. If this deal goes through you can make a lot of salt from our overflowing salt mines. From what I hear, salt is a hot commodity nowadays. Forever yours, Felipe Gomez
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BOB “You’re doing GREAT out there!”

twitchquotes: BOB “You’re doing GREAT out there!” I exclaim with as much enthusiasm as I can this late in the day. The scraggly vegan is the only one left in the tavern, his attention focused entirely on the card game we put out to entertain children and toddlers. “I don’t wanna talk about it guys” cries the man, knocking his cup of vegan water over. I try to reassure him that everyone has bad luck now and then, but he just ignores me, as always. This tavern attracts some strange types indeed.
twitch chat
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Hearthstone

Text-to-Speech Playing